Barstool Rundown July 31

Part 2 Rundown Aftershow Today’s Topics: Sox Rent Lester To The A’s For Yoenis Céspedes (And Jonny Gomes Was A Throw In)    Syracuse University Creates Grill That Cooks With Molten Lava Guy Invents The Universal Hot Crazy Matrix For Women, Is A Genius  Bo Pelini Having A TON Of Fun On The ESPN Set [...]

Part 2

Rundown Aftershow

Today’s Topics:

Sox Rent Lester To The A’s For Yoenis Céspedes (And Jonny Gomes Was A Throw In)   

Syracuse University Creates Grill That Cooks With Molten Lava

Guy Invents The Universal Hot Crazy Matrix For Women, Is A Genius 

Bo Pelini Having A TON Of Fun On The ESPN Set This Morning 

Dallas Cowboys Coach Throws Buckets Of Ice Water At Shirtless Players While They Try To Catch Balls

Biggest Question That Came Out Of John Harbaugh’s Press Conference, Who The Hell Was This Guy?

Dustin Johnson Announces He’s Taking Leave Of Absence From Golf

Leo Allegedly Started Clapping When Orlando Bloom Took A Swing At the Beibs

 

By handsomehank posted July 31st, 2014 at 6:59 PM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Victoria

  Introducing Victoria from URI. Back to Back smokes from URI to end the week. Doesn’t get much better than that.   Lets load up for next week. Send nominations to tips@barstoolsports.com

 

Introducing Victoria from URI. Back to Back smokes from URI to end the week. Doesn’t get much better than that.

 

Lets load up for next week. Send nominations to tips@barstoolsports.com

By elpresidente posted July 31st, 2014 at 5:55 PM

Vin Diesel Is The King Of Karaoke… Just Destroyed Sam Smith’s “Stay With Me”

Brought the house down

 

 

 

Someone ring the alarm, there’s a fire in the room! Has anyone ever shown range like the Diesel just did? From soprano to alto on a dime. Just took a nice little song and made it immortal. Seriously this is the exact kind of guy I love to watch do karaoke. All passion, no talent, but giving it 100% his all out there. I’ll stand and light a candle while Vin sings any day of the week.

 

 

By feitelberg posted July 31st, 2014 at 5:20 PM

A Stoolie Exclusive: A Look Into The Future

        No word on whether Gordon Edes used this video as his source for this tweet.   Probably.

 

gorddddae

 

 

 

No word on whether Gordon Edes used this video as his source for this tweet.   Probably.

By elpresidente posted July 31st, 2014 at 4:48 PM

David Price Thought The Deadline Was Yesterday… Kinda Looks Dumb Since He Just Got Traded To Detroit

Yesterday Pregame       Today is my last day… JK Lolllll I’m taking the hill right now so I’ll be staying with the Rays!     Yesterday Postgame     Ohhhh the deadline is tomorrow? Fuckkkkkk. Whatever I’ll be golfing. See no evil, hear no evil.     Today         GOD [...]

Yesterday Pregame

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-31 at 1.46.41 PM

 

 

Today is my last day… JK Lolllll I’m taking the hill right now so I’ll be staying with the Rays!

 

 

Yesterday Postgame

 

 

Ohhhh the deadline is tomorrow? Fuckkkkkk. Whatever I’ll be golfing. See no evil, hear no evil.

 

 

Today

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-31 at 4.02.46 PM

 

 

 

GOD DAMMIT! Really need to work on those important dates.

 

 

PS – A Lester, Gray, Samardizja, Kazmir vs. Scherzer, Price, Verlander, Sanchez ALCS is going to be fucking FUN to watch. As long as Verlander breaks up with Upton before it.

By feitelberg posted July 31st, 2014 at 4:05 PM

In the Least Shocking News of All Time Ray Rice Now Wants To Be An Ambassador Against Domestic Violence

  OWINGS MILLS, Md. — Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice apologized to his wife and all women affected by domestic violence on Thursday, when he took questions for the first time since his alleged altercation with his then-fiancee in February. While Rice declined twice to give details about what happened in the Atlantic City, [...]

rayricksss

 

OWINGS MILLS, Md.Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice apologized to his wife and all women affected by domestic violence on Thursday, when he took questions for the first time since his alleged altercation with his then-fiancee in February. While Rice declined twice to give details about what happened in the Atlantic City, New Jersey, elevator, he said it was a “one-time incident” and expressed his intentions to become an “ambassador” against domestic violence.”When the time is right, when the time is right, and I say that because you have to fix yourself before you can go out and help others, and when the time is right me and my wife want to go out there and help people, anybody, violence of any kind, especially man on woman, is just not right. It’s not right, it shouldn’t be tolerated, it’s not right for society, no matter what. That’s something I’ll stand by and I have to pay for that.”

Kudos to Ray Rice here. It looks like he finally gets it. It’s not just that he admitted knocking his girlfriend unconscious was wrong, but now he actually wants to be an ambassador against domestic violence. Bravo sir! This just goes to show that it’s not a publicity stunt or empty words coming from Ray Rice. Hell he’s even going to wait till the swelling goes down in his wife’s eyes before he hits the lecture circuit. How gallant is that? Bottomline is I’m sure there is nothing battered women want to do more than hear a speech from a guy who beats women. Finally I’m starting to understand why John Harbaugh loves the way he is handling this.

By elpresidente posted July 31st, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Leo Allegedly Started Clapping When Orlando Bloom Took A Swing At the Beibs

Vs.   Dailymail - The eyewitness who took a video of Orlando Bloom throwing a punch at Justin Bieber has said that it wasn’t their only scuffle on the night – and that the actor was being cheered on by his A-list pals at the time. She told The Mirror, that the Pirates of The [...]

squirtgun

Vs.

mkerrrr

 

Dailymail - The eyewitness who took a video of Orlando Bloom throwing a punch at Justin Bieber has said that it wasn’t their only scuffle on the night – and that the actor was being cheered on by his A-list pals at the time. She told The Mirror, that the Pirates of The Caribbean actor threw more than one punch at pop singer Justin, much to the delight of fellow diners, which happened to include Leonardo DiCaprio, Lindsay Lohan and P Diddy on the night. ‘Justin said something when he came in which was aimed at Orlando, who then jumped onto a sofa to try and get at Justin.’ she recalls.She added to the Daily Mirror: ‘When Orlando punched Bieber, everyone started clapping. Lindsay was laughing. It was amazing. The whole table he and DiCaprio were on were clapping. Afterwards, I don’t know if people were congratulating Orlando or trying to calm him down.

Listen everybody knows that both Bieber and Leo are my boys and that this isn’t their first scuffle.  In fact I’ve already discussed why Leo hates Bieber so this story shouldn’t be remotely surprising.  As I previously said it’s because they are in totally different partying leagues. Biebs is like a thug life partier. Leo is a classy partier. They both go about their business in different ways. Leo doesn’t need any of that shit. He’s next level. It doesn’t make one right or one wrong. They are just different. It doesn’t take away from the fact that Biebs is still a force of nature. It doesn’t change the fact he still fucked Adriana Lima in Cannes. Chicks love the bad boy. But if I was Leo I wouldn’t want a shirtless 20 year old rolling in my crew, competing for chicks making a scene either.

More importantly I want to know how do I get on this international party circuit?   I swear everytime Bieber gets in a dust up Leo is there. Everytime Leo does something newsworthy Bieber is there. You got Diddy and Lohan in the room too. It’s like these people just travel from one exotic location to the next fucking supermodels and getting in squirt gun fights. I need to live this life. Like sure sitting in my dingy office charting trading deadline moves is fun and shit, but I want to rumble with Orlando Bloom. I want to sip cocktails with Leo. I want to put my dick inside Victoria secret models.  Because to quote Kriss Cross..Warm it up Kris I’m about to…Warm it up Kris cause that’s what I was born to do.

By elpresidente posted July 31st, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Dr. Creepy Just Redefined The Creepy Hug Game Hugging Jon Lester Goodbye

    Hey Dr. Creepy have a creepier hug.   You can’t.  Seriously this hug is so Dr. Creepy it hurts.   I just hope he didn’t creep out Jon Lester too much when he whispered in his ear that he’ll see him in November.    Just play it cool Creepy.  Play it cool.   PS – I’d [...]

creepyhug

 

 

Hey Dr. Creepy have a creepier hug.   You can’t.  Seriously this hug is so Dr. Creepy it hurts.   I just hope he didn’t creep out Jon Lester too much when he whispered in his ear that he’ll see him in November.    Just play it cool Creepy.  Play it cool.

 

PS – I’d pay a bizillion internet dollars to see a Dr. Creepy Linda Pizzuti sex tape.     It’s got to be the most fascinating sex tape of all time.   Granted I’m still not buying they actually ever fucked because I think all Creepy’s bones would break Mr. Burns style, but if they did I’d love to see how it actually worked.  Not to jerk off but more just scientifically speaking.   And yes I know she had a kid, but it easily could be somebody elses or artificially inseminated.  I just don’t see Creepy having the chops to actually lay pipe.

 

pizutti

 

By elpresidente posted July 31st, 2014 at 2:22 PM
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