Follow the Barstool Instagram and DM us nominations @Barstool_Sports
Follow the Barstool Instagram and DM us nominations @Barstool_Sports
Harrison’s Thoughts on Barstool
What Harrison Got Fired For
Harrison’s own words about getting fired
Me right now…
So I blogged about this like 2 weeks ago. Harrison Mooney, the notorious Barstool hater/Yahoo’s resident troll who masqueraded as a hockey blogger/internet creep, has officially been fired from Yahoo for scaring girls from being too weird in their DMs.
Now I’ll be honest, for like a nanosecond I felt kind of bad that he got fired… like a nanosecond. Then, I went right back to laughing my ass off. Because here’s the thing, I ABSOLUTELY have some weird text messages that I don’t want public (I’m strictly text. I don’t DM at all, that’s a dangerous game. Harrison will tell you all about it.) I’m pretty sure every guy has texts like that. But, I admit it. I’m very open about it. I don’t pretend to be some champion for women’s rights and publicly thumb my nose at anybody who likes to make a joke here and there. Harrison was the opposite. He hated Barstool for all its misogyny and sexism, all the while he’s sliding into chicks’ DMs and harassing them about their lips and kissing them and weird shit. Harrison Mooney was basically one of those conservative politicians who stood at the podium condemning gay marriage because it’s against the word of the lord, then heading to a rest stop and tapping his feet hoping to suck some dick. Complete and total hypocrite. So yeah, I’m happy about this. I’m dancing on Harrison’s grave. If that makes me a bad guy then so be it, at least I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not.
PS – Hey Harrison, you want a job? LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO
Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
This is my friend John. He’s a really nice kid and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it but his style is more than suspect at times. He wears nothing but Yankees gear and minor league hockey jerseys to compliment his array of jorts. He’s always wearin his fuckin hat sideways too. Help my unique-wannabe friend find his inner preppy white boy. Have a heart.
(You don’t get to drink Poland Spring Bitch. That’s from Maine!)
Bostonglobe - A sister of the Boston Marathon bombing suspects was arrested in New York on Wednesday after allegedly threatening a woman in a domestic harassment case, saying, “I have people that can go over there and put a bomb on you.” Ailina Tsarnaev of North Bergen, N.J., was arrested at a police station in New York City Wednesday afternoon, charged with one count of aggravated harassment. She was released with a summons to return to a criminal court in Manhattan on Sept. 3, said police Lieutenant John Grimpel. Grimpel said the victim of Ailina Tsarnaev’s alleged threat has a child with the father of one of Tsarnaev’s children. Ailina Tsarnaev has been arrested before. She was charged with impeding a 2010 investigation into counterfeiting, and later failed to appear in court. The investigation was based on the passing of a counterfeit bill at an Applebee’s restaurant in Dorchester. She is not accused of passing the fake currency, but police say she knew members of the group that did. The two Tsarnaev sisters are believed to be staying together in New Jersey, and New York media outlets recently reported that Tamerlan Tsarnaev’s widow, Katherine Russell, who had a child with him, recently moved in with them.
How are these sisters still in this country? Oh you know people who can make bombs? Hey I have an idea. Let’s haul her ass in, waterboard her in front of her brother and find out who these people are. And then lets go round them up, waterboard their asses and find out who they know. And then let’s go round them up and waterboard them too. I want everybody with the last name Tsarnaev waterboarded to death. I have no idea how these sisters are allowed to live in this country. Clearly they sympathize with their terrorist brothers. If they didn’t they wouldn’t visit his ass in jail. Clearly they are terrorists themselves. Let fucking round their asses up and torture them. That’s what I think should happen. And can we deport Terrorist #1’s kid? He doesn’t get to get to live here. Go drop him in the middle east or something. Better yet say you’re dropping him in the middle east and just drop him in the middle of the ocean. It’s Lion King 101. You don’t let the Terrorists son grow up and blow more people up. Obviously the kid is gonna be fucked. Get his ass out of this country and get Katherine Russell the fuck out too.
When your team is rolling out The Expendables and putting a rookie quarterback in charge of leading them against another team’s camp bodies hours before they’re lockers are being emptied into garbage bags, you should never, ever try to reach conclusions. And by “never, ever” I mean “always.” So here’s a few takeaways from last night’s meaningless exercise that I’ll treat like gospel truth:
*I’ll come right out and lob this grenade: Jimmy Garopollo is the second best quarterback in the AFC East.
*While the few remaining Jets, Dolphins and Bills fans are pulling the shrapnel of that out of their wounds, I’ll make the case. He does all the things- mechanical, mental and intangible – you look for in a QB. He makes the 3-step drop and gets the ball out, like the completion just before the half where Aaron Dobson came free on a pick play. Garopollo looked left, quickly found Dobson on the right and delivered a perfect throw. He rolls the pocket well to extend plays, like the 19 yarder to Jeremy Gallon on 3rd & long. He makes the 7 step drop and throws a quality deep ball, like the Dobson TD. He showed a great play fake, like the draw to James White for 9 that he sold with a fake throw. And for the first time we got to seem him get extensive time under center. It wasn’t perfect, and at times he and the receivers weren’t on the game chapter (on the interception Josh Boyce ran a zig and he threw a zag), but at no point did he look anything but large and in charge.
*Now I’ll get my wish if he does nothing but hold a Kindle Fire on the sidelines all year. But I’ve never felt better about the Patriots of the 2020s.
*So far so good on Tim Wright. Six targets, four catches for 46 yards. For a guy who had less time with the playbook in the last two days than I spent on internet porn. He looked big, moved well, showed he can fight to get open. And it was great to hear that little tidbit about how he was a team captain at Rutgers and the 17 Scarlet Knights on the roster said he was universally respected. Plus I heard somewhere this week he cut his teammates hair? The more you can do… Read the rest of this entry »
No doubt you’ve seen by now that Bud Light is throwing a three-day, anything-goes party this summer dubbed Whatever, USA. Since the party looks awesome and our invitations seem to have got lost in the mail, we thought we’d record our answers to a handful of the audition questions and see if we can get an invite the old-fashioned way.
You be the judge and if you think you have better answers, go to UpforWhatever.com to see if you have what it takes to get sent out to the party.