Tomorrow’s “StoolSnaps” Takeover Is Natalia From The U

  Tomorrow on our snapchat you get Natalia from The U who will be taking you on a day/night double header in Miami. If you die from a heart attack its not our fault.   Follow “StoolSnaps” on snapchat.    

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Tomorrow on our snapchat you get Natalia from The U who will be taking you on a day/night double header in Miami. If you die from a heart attack its not our fault.

 

Follow “StoolSnaps” on snapchat.  

 

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By elpresidente posted March 6th, 2015 at 7:00 PM

#BarstoolConfessions

     

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By feitelberg posted March 6th, 2015 at 6:08 PM

Miltons Pimp My Look

        Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.     Today’s Contestant         Reader Email     [...]

 

 

 

 

Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.

 

 

Today’s Contestant

 

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Reader Email

 

 

Dear Miltons,

This is my boy Bobby from Zoomass via the well. Although some might describe him as “boxed junk” he is really just your average dude with an alleged “drinking problem”. Unfortunately for Bob he cares far to much about getting drunk than he does about dressing nice or getting chicks so he can be a bit of a burden when we go out. He is also entering the real world soon so we were hoping Miltons could help his transition from zoo animal to cube monkey that much easier. thanks and viva!

Brendan.

 

 

1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (47 votes, average: 1.77 out of 10)
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By feitelberg posted March 6th, 2015 at 5:00 PM

Gamer Dies After Playing World Of Warcraft For 19 Hours Straight…. Wait, 19 Hours? Pusssyyyyyyyy

n00b

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(Source)A 24 years old man believed to be addicted to World of Warcraft died after playing 19-hours straight. Wu Tai was at an Internet cafe in Shanghai, China for playing the role-playing game. After he spent 19 hours of playing, his friends saw him away from screen and violently coughing. He slumped in his chair after the coughing attack, and his gaming compatriots noticed he was dabbing blood away from his mouth with a handkerchief. The gamer sitting next to him said: “I suddenly heard him groan and when I turned to see what had happened he was very pale and looked uncomfortable. He was dabbing his mouth with a hankie which had blood on it. I asked him if he was OK and he said he’d felt better, but that he would be OK. I called for an ambulance while my friend went to get some help from staff. But while we waited he just died in front of us, and there was nothing the staff could do.”

 

 

 

19 hours? That’s it? Talk about a fucking n00b. Every time I see stories like this it’s always something insane. Like a kid dies after playing for 8 weeks straight with an IV of Red Bull hooked up to him and a mystical creature shoveling brown-brown into his nose. Or some fully grown 30 year old dies when he walks out of his basement for the first time in his entire life and the sun lights him on fire. But 19 hours? That’s all you could muster sitting there for? Not to sound like a tough guy but I’ve consumed alcohol for like an entire weekend with no sleep. I’m pretty sure that’s way more detrimental to your well being than playing some video games. 19 hours straight in front of the computer is what I literally like to call a regular Thursday. Poor kid is going to be the laughing stock of the gaming community.

By feitelberg posted March 6th, 2015 at 4:30 PM

$400,000 On The Line In Tonight’s Draft Kings NBA Pool

      I’ve got good news and bad news for everyone. The good news is that DraftKings is giving out 400 grand tonight, with 100,000 bucks going to the overall winner. 20 bucks to enter and have a shot at making a dumb amount of money in an evening. The bad news? Well I [...]

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I’ve got good news and bad news for everyone. The good news is that DraftKings is giving out 400 grand tonight, with 100,000 bucks going to the overall winner. 20 bucks to enter and have a shot at making a dumb amount of money in an evening. The bad news? Well I went to the Celtics game on Wednesday night so now I’m a basketball fan and a bit of an expert. Who’s playing for second? (that’s a Larry Bird quote. Old basketball player, you may not have heard of him if you’re not a historian of the game like myself)

 

 

Sign Up Here

 

Micro Millions Main Event Details:
-$400,000 prize pool
– First place wins $100,000
– $20 to enter
– Top 4,625 scores win money guaranteed​

 

 

 

Sign Up Here

By feitelberg posted March 6th, 2015 at 3:58 PM

I Don’t Know What I Think About Casual Friday Joey Brackets

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen Joey Brackets in anything but a suit or at least a sport coat.  Kind of caught me off guard here.  Not to mention the fact I feel like this is crunch time for him.  Yeah I know it’s casual Friday but he has casual summertime.   There [...]

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I don’t think I’ve ever seen Joey Brackets in anything but a suit or at least a sport coat.  Kind of caught me off guard here.  Not to mention the fact I feel like this is crunch time for him.  Yeah I know it’s casual Friday but he has casual summertime.   There should be no Casual Fridays in March for Joey Brackets. Having said all that I still love him.  I usually hate guys like this, but I’m all about the Joey Brackets life.   And as far as that hair goes?  If he says it’s real I believe him.

 

By elpresidente posted March 6th, 2015 at 3:35 PM

If The Florida Panthers Feel Like Winning Games They’ll Select Me To Be Their Next Goalie

    SUNRISE, Fla. — Earlier this week, the Panthers considered putting a forward or an assistant coach in goal after regular netminders Roberto Luongo and Al Montoya were both injured in the same game.The Florida Panthers are now holding goalie auditions for anyone who wants to play. No, really. The Panthers announced Thursday plans [...]

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SUNRISE, Fla.Earlier this week, the Panthers considered putting a forward or an assistant coach in goal after regular netminders Roberto Luongo and Al Montoya were both injured in the same game.The Florida Panthers are now holding goalie auditions for anyone who wants to play. No, really. The Panthers announced Thursday plans for a contest that will give someone a amateur tryout contract and the chance to be Florida’s backup practice goalie — for one day. Successful applicants will be invited to a tryout March 16, two finalists will then go head-to-head during an intermission of Florida’s game against Montreal on March 17, and the winner gets a contract. 

 

David Portnoy: Dave Portnoy, goalie.
Roberto Luongo: Roberto Luongo, starting goalie.
Dave Portnoy: I know, that’s why they recruited me.

So apparently all of the Florida Panthers goalies are like hurt or dead or something.    I guess desperate times calls for desperate measures because they are running a contest looking for people to become a backup goalie for them.   Umm hello.   You only got the “People’s Goalie” sitting right here.  The guy who made JVR look like a bitch.  The guy who had Logan Couture’s brain wrapped into a pretzel.  Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.   I’ve been waiting for this opportunity my whole life.  Go glove hand.  I fucking dare you.

 

PS – Quick question. Can I wear Timberlands instead of skates ala Lynn Classical?

 

 

By elpresidente posted March 6th, 2015 at 2:55 PM

Here Is Your Friday Happy Cry – Mufasa The Homeless Dog Gets Rescued

  Youtube – Mufasa lived in this water treatment facility. Luckily, a worker saw one of our videos, and called us: http://www.HopeForPaws.org & http://www.LionelsLegacy.org     Honestly if you’re not crying after watching that I don’t even want to know you.  That was the happiest/sad video ever.  Or at least since the last homeless dog [...]

 

YoutubeMufasa lived in this water treatment facility. Luckily, a worker saw one of our videos, and called us:
http://www.HopeForPaws.org & http://www.LionelsLegacy.org

 

 

Honestly if you’re not crying after watching that I don’t even want to know you.  That was the happiest/sad video ever.  Or at least since the last homeless dog rescue I’ve seen.   Dogs never cease to amaze me.  Like it doesn’t matter how bad of a life they’ve had if you give them some love and treats you have a new best friend for life with no grudges.  As Mark Twain once said If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

 

PS – I lost it at the 2:45 mark when Mustafa realizes he has a new best friend.  It’s like you could see all his troubles and fears just wash away in his facial expression.

 

friendforlife

By elpresidente posted March 6th, 2015 at 2:20 PM
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