Is Bitch Face 18 Yet?

 

I know it’s real creepy for a 35 year old to talk about a 17 year old so I won’t.   But if I didn’t care about being a total creep show I’d ask questions like where did Bitch Face’s tits come from and when did she turn into a full fledged sex pot?

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Dedicated To Our Friends At KO Barstool…A Special Smokeshow of the Day Edition – The Best “Viva La Stool Blackout Pictures” Album

 

In honor of DCU being 1 month away I figured we’d put together a gallery of the best pictures we’ve had submitted of girls asking for free tickets.    Also a little reminder why it’s the best party on earth.    You don’t know till ya know.  There is nothing else like Barstool Foam on this planet.    Best traveling circus/rave going period.

 

 

Lupos – Wed Feb 6th – Tickets on Sale Now

Toads BLACKOUT – Feb 7th  SOLD OUT

Springfield FOAM – Feb 8th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Philly FOAM – Feb 9th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Towson BLACKOUT – Feb 13th – Tickets On Sale Now 

Washington DC BLACKOUT – Fur Nightclub – 2/14 – BUY TICKETS 

ESU FOAM – Feb 15th SOLD OUT

Baltimore FOAM – Feb 16th SOLD OUT

Worcester FOAM – Feb 22nd (Tickets on Sale) 

Irving Plaza BLACKOUT Feb 23  SOLD OUT

Panama City BeachMARCH 11

Panama City BeachMARCH 18 

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Reader Email – Is Stockpiling Your Ski Lift Tickets On Your Jacket The Ultimate Hardo Move?

Reader Email

Not sure if you’ve ranted on this subject before, but people that wear all of their ski passes like gold medals are the worst. Maybe this guy could justify one because he forgot to cut it off after the long weekend, but he has at least 6 dangling. I get it, you ski, bro. It’s almost as bad as people that leave on their wristbands after spring break. Thought it might be good if you could publicly shame these assholes. Keep the A+ blogs coming.

 

Typical Feitleberg move here with the duck boots and lift tickets.  Anyway there is no chance I haven’t blogged this before. After all this is probably the #1 hardo move in the world. Everybody at one time or another has seen an asshole who keeps all the lift tickets on his jacket. Don’t get me wrong I did it too back in the day. Back in junior high I’d just load em up on my CB parka. Sunday River right in your face bro. Deal with it. But once you turn 13 there is just no acceptable reason to do this. What are you trying to accomplish? To prove to people you ski?  You think I give a fuck you went to Loon 2 weeks ago?  You want a fucking cookie? Nobody cares. Although I will say that as I’m writing this I’m sort of having a change of thought mid blog. I mean it’s such an outrageous hardo move that if you’re gonna do it you might as well go all out. I’m talking never cut one off. Like have 100 tickets just jammed up in there. I’d actually respect that more than this clown how has 5 or 6 just dangling.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Is There A Bigger Fraud Than Beyonce?

Washingtonian – We don’t know why Beyoncé decided to use prerecorded music,” a spokesperson for the Marine Corps Band told us this morning. “All music [for inaugural ceremonies] is prerecorded as a matter of course, and that’s something we’ve done for years and years. The Marine Band did perform live throughout the ceremony but we received last-minute word that Beyoncé wanted to use the recording.” The spokesperson also added that everyone knows Beyoncé is a gifted singer, and her decision has no bearing on her musical ability.

I’ve never understood this. When singers lip sync at big events. Why even show up if you’re just going to pretend to sing? Anybody can do that. You get paid to sing. Sing. I have zero respect for any singer who lip sync’s. It means you’re a coward, a fraud and a joke. I don’t care how good you sound in your studio. Practice players are a dime a dozen. I want to see it when the bright lights came on. Great singers sing great in great moments. Kelly Clarkson sang live. Lambert would sing live. Anybody who is truly a great singer would sing live. Frauds fake it. This will be a defining moment in Beyonce’s career. I don’t care what she does from now on moving forward. She puked on her shoes in the biggest moment of her life. Didn’t have the guts to do it live. Coward city.

PS – I hate Lance Armstrong more than life itself but this is the 2nd time today I find myself pseudo defending him.   Beyonce lip syncing the National Anthem is way more offensive, dishonest and disgusting than blood doping.   Lance still had to ride the bike.   This bitch did nothing.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 1:39 PM

Do NOT Fuck With The Malian Army

 

I was Googling how to spell “Malian Army” because I’m a fucking moron and a ton of Google news results popped up describing their current military tactics (they just entered Douentza as anti-rebel operations move north, FYI). Uhh, guys, I don’t know if you knew this but they don’t have fucking bullets. The Malian army is just a bunch of kids running around with crooked branches yelling “chh-chh-chh-chh-chh” before arguing about whether or not the other guy dodged a bullet. Not sure their military movements are all that important when the most deadly item they’re packing is a silver tongue.

By feitelberg posted January 22nd, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Senators Coach Has Doppelganger of Doppelgangers Sit Right Behind the Bench

 

Yahoo – It’s not every game that an NHL coach has a creepy carbon copy of himself leering from behind the glass at the bench.  “I didn’t see him,” MacLean said, chuckling. “Apparently there’s quite a resemblance. I hope he gets as much help [around town] as I do.” Who was this man? Inquiring minds wanted to know, at least before he murdered Paul MacLean and took his place behind the Ottawa bench. Luckily, Ian Mendes of Sportsnet got to the bottom of the MacLone Saga.

Turns out this was just a fan named Mike Watson with a ridiculously striking resemblance to Paul MacLean. From Sportsnet and Ian Mendes: After introducing myself, I asked Watson, “Do you realize that you’ve broken Twitter tonight?” “I don’t own a cell phone. But these guys were telling me it’s all over the place,” Watson replied. His co-workers sitting next to him informed him that he was suddenly a social media darling. So I immediately asked the question that was on everyone’s mind: Was this some sort of publicity stunt? Surely, Watson must have intentionally chosen to sit directly behind the Senators home bench. Either that, or he was a blood relative of the head coach — which is why he was able to land such prime seats for the home opener. “These are actually just my company’s seats,” he responded. “I haven’t been to a game here in two years. They usually give the tickets to clients, but I was able to go tonight.”

 

This was viral today and rightfully so. Let me just say this. I don’t care how many times this guy says he didn’t do this as a publicity stunt I know he did it as a publicity stunt. That’s all I want to say. The rest of the internet is stupid. I ain’t.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 5:47 PM

Bs Sit In First After Winning First Two

So far, so good for the Bruins two games into the season. After Saturday’s impressive 3-1 over the Rangers before a fired-up sold-out Garden crowd, the Bs, playing a team looking for ugly road wins yesterday at the Garden, had a less entertaining game against the Jets but still got the desired result—two points. It was appropriate the game was played on MLK day because the on-ice product likely produced a dream or two among those who fell asleep watching in a sleepy home barn.

But style points don’t matter, just the ones you accumulate in the standings. So thanks to another sharp Tuukka Rask outing and shootout tallies from Patrice Bergeron and Tyler Seguin, the Bs earned four points that has them tied with Ottawa and Buffalo for first place in the Northeast Division.

After going down 1-0 just two minutes into the game, the Bs concluded the regulation scoring 12 minutes later after Seguin swooped in on a loose puck and fed his boy Brad Marchand for a goal-mouth tap-in to knot things up. Over the remaining 51 minutes, the Bs hit more pipe than Pookie from “New Jack City” and couldn’t convert a handful of goalmouth opportunities. But once again, Seguin and Rask were both money in the shootout to help keep the Bs perfect on the young season (ironically, the Jets final shooter Bryan Little hit the post on his team’s last chance to keep the game going).

Rask has been an early bright spot for the Bs, giving up two goals on 48 shots for a .958 and 0.96. But beyond the nice numbers, he’s looked like the sharp, confident goalie of two years ago and has made a handful of quality saves. Also, the Bruins are one of five teams yet to surrender a power-play goal and have killed off all nine man-down situations (conversely, they are already 0-for-NINE on their own power play, a lingering problem that will need fixing soon).

19-year-old rookie Dougie Hamilton, playing with Zdeno Chara, has hardly looked like a teenager playing in his first two major league games. He’s averaged a veteran-like 18:33 time on ice per game over an average of 22 shifts. He’s made a couple of nice hits, saw power play time in his first NHL game, and is tied for third on the team with five shots on goal. It’s going to be fun watching this kid do his apprenticeship under a guy whose style and presence he’ll hopefully ape for years to come.

Two games in is certainly too early to draw any conclusions but it’s also nice the Bs haven’t given us anything to bitch about yet…except for the power play and the concessions. They’ll be back at it tomorrow night when they visit MSG to take on the 0-2 revenge-seeking Rangers.

A few more buds for your Patriots funeral pyre bowl…

*So much for all those wild proclamations of spurned fans and people ‘boycotting’ the NHL (the notion of any Canadian boycotting hockey was so silly it shouldn’t even warrant coverage). Ratings records have been dropping left and right since Saturday and teams are reporting sell-outs across the board. Yeah, the lockout just killed the enthusiasm for the sport.

*In case you haven’t seen Detroit’s Damien Brunner do his impression of teammate Pavel Datsyuk, check out his beauty of a shootout goal.

*After Saturday’s win, several Bruins’ family members were standing in their usual post-game waiting area for their husbands, brothers, and sons. Among them was a certain HOF defenseman. He wasn’t in his own area nor did he seek any special treatment. Ray Bourque was just being what he was in that moment—a proud hockey dad waiting for his son after the game just like everybody else. Pretty cool to see.

 

@RearAdBsBlog

letitbleedrearad@gmail.com

By Rear Admiral posted January 22nd, 2013 at 2:43 PM

1 Month Till DCU Round Two! Springfield Foam vs Worcester Foam…The Battle For Middle Earth Continues

DCU

 

VS.

Springfield

 

With the Pats eliminated the only thing left to look forward to around here is Foam.  Worcester Round II is 1 month from today.   Springfield is 2 weeks from Friday.   The jury is still out on what show will be better.   To get everybody in the mood we will be giving away tickets every hour starting at noon for the rest of the day.   All you got to do is tweet at me with #springfield or #DCU.     Whoever is in the picture that gets the most retweets wins free tickets.    The battle for middle earth begins today.

We’re giving away tickets every hour today.  Tweet at me.  Most retweeted photo each hour wins.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Michael Phelps’ New GF Has A Sex Tape And Has Apparently Fucked Every Guy In Hollywood

SportsGrid – Retired Michael Phelps does not care what you think. Retired Michael Phelps does not have to live up to your expectations. He will smoke and gamble and crowd surf poorly because Michael Phelps has more gold medals than 82 countries. So if Michael Phelps wants to sex it up all over Hollywood, Michael Phelps will sex it up all over Hollywood. The folks over at With Leather pass along this Scandalous Piece Of News from gossip merchant Hollyscoop, that Phelps is dating notorious Hollywood-famous-person-sexer Jasmine Waltz. Who? That girl up there, who kind of looks like Megan Fox. Hollyscoop generously describes her as “notorious Hollywood star f*cker Jasmine Waltz.” Well, then. Anyway, more on Waltz. Here’s her website (extremely NSFW). On it is her very own sex tape, which “leaked” onto her site after a $60,000 deal to produce a sex tape fell through. Phelps is apparently just in it (the relationship, not the video) for the sex, and Waltz for the fame – she’s been linked to a number of other famous celebrities, including David Arquette, Zac Efron, Chris Pine, Ryan Seacrest, Jesse McCartney, Doug Reinhardt and Vinny from “The Jersey Shore,” despite only being a waitress.

 

So apparently Michael Phelps is dating the slut of all sluts right now. A “waitress” who has banged like every dude in Hollywood and has her own website on which she sells a sex tape. Hey the girl is hot, no question about that. Something about a sex tape that she sells herself though…kinda not sitting right with me. It’s weird. Like I’d be so much more comfortable with a girl if she was just honest and said she’s a porn star. Hey, I’m a porn star, I have sex on camera for cash, that’s what I do. A perfectly noble line of work, I have no problems with that. But doesn’t sneaky being a porn star kinda seem really scummy? Clearly she’s making money from being filmed with cocks inside her, but she does it under the guise of a “leaked” tape. I say if you wanna get cash for porn then just go ahead, be open about it, start getting cash for porn. No big thing.

This girl been had some celeb fuck buddies though huh? Not really sure what good can come from dating this chick. Fucking, sure. But dating? Watch out Mike. She’s a gold digger. And I mean that in the most literal sense. She’s only with you because of you have gold.

By JMac posted January 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Stop The Presses! The Chick Whose Pictures Were Used in the Manti Te’o Catfish Story Breaks Her Silence

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

 

NEW YORKThe woman whose photo was used as the “face” of the Twitter account of Manti Te’o's supposed girlfriend says the man allegedly behind the hoax confessed and apologized to her. Diane O’Meara told NBC’s “Today” show Tuesday that Ronaiah Tuiasosopo used pictures of her without her knowledge in creating a fake woman called Lennay Kekua. Te’o asserts he was tricked into an online romance with Kekua and, until last week, believed she died of leukemia in September.”I don’t think there’s anything he could say to me that would fix this,” said O’Meara, a 23-year-old marketing executive in Los Angeles. O’Meara said she had never had any contact with Te’o, and that for five years, Tuiasosopo “has literally been stalking my Facebook and stealing my photos.”

Holy Shit! What a scoop by the Today Show! Getting the chick whose profile was used in the Manti Te’o catfishing story to break her silence. Stop the fucking presses! Did Matt Lauer do it again or did Matt Lauer do it again!

Seriously somebody needs to stuff a cock in this chick’s mouth. Hey honey nobody cares about you. You are a total non factor in this story. Like cry me a river with there is nothing Ronaiah Tuiasosopo could say to fix this. To fix what? How were you hurt by this? You literally have nothing to do with it. Nobody knows who you are or cares who you are. Get over yourself. You want some free advice from a mogul? Stop acting like you got sexually assaulted and go ask Tuiasosopo for Manti’s phone number. Dude is still going to be an NFL player and you know he likes the way you look. Maybe you can turn him straight. Got to be better than whatever you’re doing now with your boring life now.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 4:23 PM

This Is Really Happening Right Now: Kobe Bryant Live Tweeting Watching Himself Score 81 Against Toronto

 

This IS happening right now.  For real.  Kobe Bryant is really tweeting about how awesome he is watching himself score 81 vs. Toronto like 20 years ago.  Couple things.  #1 there is no way this is the first time he watched this game.  Dude probably makes chicks watch it while he rapes them.  #2 he is a rapist.   #3 I didn’t think it was possible but Kobe may have reclaimed his spot from Lebron as my most hated athlete in the world.   Luckily Lebron gave us this gem today though to maintain his narrow lead.  Learn how to sing bro.

 

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Stabbed His Roommate 10 Times For Touching His Radio?

(PinellasCounty)Willie Brown, a 58-year-old Lealman man was jailed Wednesday after he repeatedly stabbed his roommate during an argument over a radio station. According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, Brown and his roommate, 72-year-old Abraham Shedrack, got into a heated argument after disagreeing about what radio station to listen to. Investigators say the argument, fueled by alcohol, quickly turned violent when Brown stabbed his roommate outside their mobile home at least 10 times during the confrontation. The victim was rushed to a local hospital and is expected to survive the attack.

Think we’ve all been here before. Nothing worse than the guy trying to play iPod DJ while you’re just looking to get your party on. The guy who hates mainstream music so much and thinks top 40 is ruining the industry and nobody has put out anything noteworthy since The Beatles is one of the worst people on earth. Keeps switching off Kesha mid-song to play the new A$AP Rocky track because of the amazing lyricism and exquisite flow. Absolutely infuriating. If I want to review the beauty of the construction of the melody and harmony then I’ll pick up Rolling Stone magazine in the morning and read it while I wipe the come off my dick from this chick who loved my 90s pop playlist.

PS – upset of the century that my hatred for iPod DJs trumped Gollum’s mugshot.

By feitelberg posted January 22nd, 2013 at 1:10 PM

Creationist Senator In Louisiana Wants To Know If E.Coli Evolves Into Humans

 

Entire internet is laughing at this guy right now. I don’t see why. If you can’t grow e. coli into a human in a science classroom then how can we be sure evolution is a thing? Just take it on blind faith because it’s written down in some books? Sorry but where me and the insanely religious, Christian senator come from seeing is believing.

By feitelberg posted January 22nd, 2013 at 3:57 PM

Question of the Day – Could I beat up the Chick Secret Service Lady?

 

I’m not even joking around here. Me vs. her. No weapons. Groin shots are legal. Titty twisters are in play. Eye gouges are encouraged. Anything goes. No witnesses.  No rules. Who wins the fight? Me or her? I think I do right? And that’s not because I think I’m tough either. I’m a pussy. I know that. But I’ve always been one of those guys that thinks all dudes can beat up all girls. I don’t care how trained they are. I don’t care if they are professional boxers, MMA fighters or karate experts. I think I could just roll off my couch and punish this chick. Too much weight. Too much guy power. Like all that Laura Croft stuff is great in the movies but this ain’t the movies. In fact if I were President I’d refuse to let any chicks protect me unless I was fucking them on the side. Just no way this girl does a better job than a man at this. No chance. If you can’t even beat me up which I decided she can’t than she shouldn’t be on the job.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 10:10 AM

49ers Fans Keeping It Nice and Hood

 

Can I ask the million dollar question?  If #38 is this lady’s nephew (Dashon Goldson) and she wants to see that motherfucking with a ring nigger than why is she wearing a Randy Moss shirt here?  That makes no sense on any level. Free Ball Don’t Lie shirt to whoever can explain that one to me.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Reader Email – Auburn Dry Frat Trying To Compete Vs. Non Dry Frat For Chicks At Social Is High Comedy

Reader Email

Below is an email sent to the Chi Omega freshman from a FarmHouse (FH) about their social with them tonight. FH is a dry frat. Please read and thoroughly laugh and make fun of them from now on.

THE EMAIL

Baby Hooties,

Great moments are born from great opportunities. That’s what we have here tonight ladies. Tonight you will decide your alliance. FIJI will be spitting their best game not to win you over but in an attempt to tear down the FH legacy. Tonight you will see the true character of an FH man. Laying everything down to show ΧΩ his true character and love for hooties while FIJI shotguns every liquid in sight BUT I have a DREAM! That this night will not be simply decided off irrational decision on alcohol but decisions made from the heart. Oh I have a DREAM! That one day FH and ΧΩ will forever be linked throughout destiny. That one day a FIJI will be judged not by whether he is fratty or has money but by his allegiance with ΧΩ. It is the man not with a 4.0, on old row, or drives a lifted truck BUT THE MAN THAT IS LOVED AND CLAIMED BY ΧΩ. Hooties, I leave you with this. God so loved the world that he gave his one and only FarmHouse so that ΧΩ may not perish but haveeternal life. -FH 19:05

Hooties, I have been waiting this moment since 12/8/93 and it will not be wasted.

Yours and always Chi Bro,

 

So let me get this straight. Farmhouse is a dry frat. Fiji is not. Both frats are going to a combined social with girls. One frat can drink. One can not. Apparently this email is an attempt to level the playing field so to speak? To warn baby hooties not to get shitfaced and fall victim to drunken sexcapes with Fiji. Umm what’s that old expression? Don’t go into a hatchet fight without a hatchet? Well I think that certainly applies here. Rule 1 of getting pussy in greek life. Party harder than the other guy. Writing emails and staying sober is for chumps. Boos and drugs gets you laid. I thought even nerds knew that. These guys must be Jesus freaks or something. Seriously Farmhouse has to be the worst frat in the history of frats. I mean a dry frat? Is that even a real thing?

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Wes Welker’s Wife Apologizes To Ray Lewis For Ripping Him Apart Yesterday

Vs.

 

Yesterday

“Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis’ Wikipedia page. 6 kids 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay. What a hall of fame player! A true role model!”

Today

“I’m deeply sorry for my recent post on Facebook. I let the competitiveness of the game and the comments people were making about a team I dearly love get the best of me. My actions were emotional and irrational and I sincerely apologize to Ray Lewis and anyone affected by my comment after yesterday’s game. “It is such an accomplishment for any team to make it to the NFL playoffs, and the momentary frustration I felt should not overshadow the accomplishments of both of these amazing teams.”

Why is Anna Welker apologizing? For what? Ray Lewis hasn’t even apologized to the families of the kids he murdered. Yet we’re apologizing for being a meanie on facebook? Come on Anna! You’re better than this. We’re better than this. You said it. You meant it and you’re right. Ray Lewis is the fakest role model/hero going. Like Lance Armstrong is getting crucified in the media right now for cheating in a bike race. Ray Lewis killed a guy and is being hailed a hero. It’s a joke. Like it would be one thing if we didn’t get Ray Lewis propaganda shoved down our faces every two minutes about what a great human he is, but we do. It’s a farce. So despite the fact that Wes Welker dropped another HUGE pass at a critical moment , I’d still rather be him and a Pats fan than a murderer with 19 kids from 27 different wives. Ray Lewis is the biggest fraud going and Anna Welker had every right to call him out on it since nobody in the mainstream media will. It’s like Kobe Bryant all over again. Rape is rape. Murder is murder. It’s crazy how the media builds up certain guys who are flat criminals and tears down others for petty shit like cheating and adultery.

By elpresidente posted January 22nd, 2013 at 11:18 AM
© 2014 Barstool Sports | Disclaimer | Copyright | Privacy Policy | Media Kit