Grabbing Tits And Making Hits!

 

Dailymail - Posing for the risque shot, Bieber, who recently split from girlfriend Selena Gomez, grinned as he kissed the girl’s cheek while cupping her left breast.Wearing sunglasses and a backwards baseball cap with a black sweatshirt, the singer can be seen smirking through his pout as he posed for the tongue in cheek image. And far from being shocked or upset at the close for comfort move, she seemed comfortable when the superstar made the gesture as she smiled next to him. The brunette can be seen smirking in a polka dot shirt as she lets him continue cupping her.

Power move.  You want your picture taken with the Biebs?  No problem.  Just know that he’s gonna get his grope on and you’re gonna like it.  Same thing I do at Blackouts except it’s an ass grab and chicks are horrified.  Either way it’s the mogul lifestyle for us.

 

 

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Joe Flacco’s Dad Says He’s Boring As Shit

DMWell, he can’t have it all. Joe Flacco, starting quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens, can throw a football a miraculous 70 yards. He can toss a ball so well that one analyst said he has the strongest arm in the NFL. But in regular day-to-day life, the man with the incredible arm is not nearly as exciting as he is on the field, his father says. ‘Joe is dull,’ Steve Flacco told the New York Times in a recent telephone interview. ‘As dull as he is portrayed in the media, he’s that dull. He is dull.’

As crazy as it sounds I actually think my dad is more proud of me than Joe Flacco’s dad is of him. This isn’t some little quip that the media blows out of proportion. Flacco’s dad practically says that his son is the most boring motherfucker on the planet and being in a room with him is an absolute chore. He’s Ambien in human form. When his dad watches him play he prefers to focus on the blade of grass by the 36 grow rather than watch his son inaccurately throw a football 60 yards. Not that I want anybody to win the Super Bowl but I definitely want the Ravens to lose. Such an unlikeable group of guys. Gotta choose between the loud mouthed murderers and the quiet, sullen dudes whose own father’s hate them. No thanks. Say what you will about the Patriots but when they’re boring it’s on purpose, not because they have a complete inability to be interesting. If the Ravens won you’d have to waterboard Flacco to get him to say he’s going to Disney World.

By feitelberg posted January 29th, 2013 at 10:05 AM

University Of Minnesota Hosting Event To Teach Female Students How To Have Bigger And Better Orgasms

Source – The University of Minnesota is spending $3,400 to host a symposium this spring specifically designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve bigger, better and more orgasms. ’Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot,’ reads the description posted on the school’s official events calendar. ’Are you coming?’ it asks. The university’s official online description of the event entitled, ‘The Female Orgasm,’ describes it as open to both male and female students, according to Campus Reform. ‘Whether you want to learn how to have your first orgasm, how to have better ones, or how to help you girlfriend, Kate and Marshall cover it all,’ it adds. The description of the event, which is hosted by the university’s Office of Diversity and Equity’s Women’s Center, does not say whether there is an age requirement.

 

Well even though a female orgasm class sounds like something that should be taught at Hogwarts because it’s nothing but myth and lore, one thing is for sure. If you’re looking to find the DTF chicks at University of Minnesota then this is a can’t-miss lecture. Just an entire classroom of coeds looking to cum. I wish they’d offered something like this when I was at Northeastern because it’d be the only time in college I showed punctuality in an academic setting. Get there early and sit front row center. Sure I probably still wouldn’t learn anything and just text the entire time like normal, but as is the case with most things in college, all that matters is you show up. Make an appearance. Let the teacher or in this case the horny sluts see your face. All you gotta do is not sleep through it. Because for college professors or twenty year old chicks who want sex, that’s about all that’s required.

By JMac posted January 29th, 2013 at 10:42 AM

Weird Information: Robert De Niro Leaves His Socks On When He Fucks, Which Is A Total Psychopath Move Right?

Huff – In the book, titled “Picasso’s Ghost,” Mallory gushes about her engagement to Pablo Picasso’s son, Claude, as well as her affairs with Richard Gere, Peter Sellers and Robert De Niro — the latter of whom Mallory said wears socks while having sex. Mallory and De Niro met at the Chateau Marmont in 1975 and engaged in a 14-day affair. “During lovemaking, he never stopped looking in my eyes,” she writes in “Picasso’s Ghost.” “He had a butterfly tattoo that I later realized matched his flighty spirit. So did the fact that he left his socks on. The following year he married Diahnne Abbott … I would have appreciated a phone call.”

 

So some chick wrote a book in which she chronicled sex with a few celebrities, one of whom was Robert De Niro. And apparently De Niro leaves his socks on while he fucks. Now look, I respect the dude as an actor and love his movies as much as the next guy, but leaving your socks on during sex is a total psychopath move. Only fucking weirdos do that. I don’t even understand the point of it. You’re taking off all the rest of your clothing…why are the socks so special that they get to stay on? It’s just insane person shit. I wouldn’t trust anyone who does it and if I find out I’m friends with anyone who does then they’re off my buddy list immediately. The only people crazier are the ones who leave their t-shirt on.

Damn, Bobby. You think you know a guy and then it comes out that he’s a socks-during-sex type of nutjob. Total mind blow.

By JMac posted January 29th, 2013 at 3:00 PM

And the Pussification of America Continues: Pennsylvania High School Outlaws Toilet Paper From Boys Bathrooms

Source – An East Pennsylvania high school has outlawed toilet paper from the boys bathrooms – forcing students to check it out of the school’s office as and when they need it. The new rule, intended to cut vandalism at the Mahanoy Area High School, has been criticized by some parents who say students are too embarrassed to publicly ask for tissue. One mother said she had heard of students leaving school claiming to be sick so they could go home and use the toilet there. Principal, Thomas Smith, defended the measure at a school meeting on Thursday saying vandals had ‘destroyed’ toilets over the years blocking them up with toilet paper and sometimes even books. ‘We’ve had serious destruction to our bathrooms for the past two years,’ Mr Smith said, according to the Republican Herald of Potsville. ‘We have a case pending with the police where a bathroom down by our gymnasium was absolutely destroyed.’ I’m sure Mr. (Robert) Pastucha (district facilities director) could tell you the times that our toilets have been jammed with toilet paper and other papers.’  ’And after we took the toilet tissue out of there, people were throwing books. It was our way to try to curb the destruction in the bathrooms.’

 

There are just some things in this world that cannot be fucked with, and toilet paper in the bathroom is one of them. You don’t take away toilet paper. You just don’t. I don’t care how many times your bathrooms get vandalized. The TP stays, end of story. Isn’t the whole world out to protect kids from bullying these days anyway? Don’t we all have to be sensitive and make sure nobody gets hurt or embarrassed? Well right now there’s no bigger bully in the country then Mahanoy Area High School. Making kids do the walk of shame through the office and declare to everyone within earshot that they have to go take a dump. That’s fucking brutal. Oh and the girls get to keep their TP? How convenient for them. Wouldn’t want to be sexist or anything, now would we?

If I went to this school I’d walk right into the principle’s office and shit on his desk. There you go sir, at least I didn’t mess up your precious bathroom.

By JMac posted January 29th, 2013 at 2:33 PM

Duke Basketball Fans Continue To Cement Their Legacy As The Most Hated Fanbase In Sports

 

DukeChronicle – The following is a guest column written by Michelle Picon, Trinity ’11, about her experience attending last Wednesday’s Duke-Miami men’s basketball game that the Hurricanes won 90-63.

During the Miami game last Wednesday, DukeBluePlanet posted a photo of my friends and me captioned “Found brave Duke fans in the Miami student section.” There are thousands of us, scattered around the countries by new jobs or graduate programs, who continue to be dedicated Duke fans despite new institutional affiliations.

Although we somehow walked away unscathed, our treatment at the hands of the Miami student body, mascot and senior administration was even more disparaging than the whooping our boys received on the court.

The following is our report from the trenches.

My classmates and I had been in line for the game for hours when the Dean of Students first appeared. He expressed his disbelief at our Duke apparel, and continued to express his disapproval even after we explained we were former Duke students excited to watch our team, and had no intention of actively cheering against Miami. He told us condescendingly that he would allow us to remain in the student line, but he assured us that on behalf of President Donna Shalala, they were not going to let us easily into this game to cheer for Duke in the front of the Miami student section. Ladies and gentlemen, I f—ing kid you not, the Dean of Students and the Vice President of Student Affairs stood between us and the stadium, allowing dozens of people to pass us in line as they lectured us on our apparently deplorable and wildly unacceptable desire to show support for our home team. Four-plus years as Cameron Crazies, hard-earned Duke degrees and constitutionally protected freedom of speech notwithstanding, senior administrators of the undergraduate campus dared scold us for wearing Duke blue to a basketball game.

Unfortunately, the immaturity and spite exhibited by the administration and the mascot was only amplified among the student body. About 1,300 students were in attendance, and I’m sure 1,200 of them had never watched a Miami basketball game in their entire undergraduate careers. Uninspired expletives, homophobic slurs and limp references to genitalia were the only “cheers” I heard from Miami students the entire game. Pause for a second and imagine that scene in Cameron.

That’s OK—we couldn’t either.

But what followed was even harder to imagine: During the game, the majority of the students standing near us would physically turn their backs on their own team in order to comment on the size of our penises. Meanwhile, Miami played the game of their lives unobserved. I leave it up to you to infer what these students are really passionate about.

Hint: It’s not basketball.

I will gladly admit that the Canes played an incredible game and rightly deserved that victory. But I walked away from that game ashamed and embarrassed to be even remotely associated with the Miami undergraduates. Although Duke played the worst game I have ever seen, I am still proud to call myself a Blue Devil. This experience only served to deepen my appreciation and respect for Cameron Crazies, an exemplary group of boisterous, witty and dedicated supporters—the sixth man, a true fan indeed.

 

First things first.  I’d throw it in the Indian chick no questions asked.  Anyway this letter is going viral today. Everybody ranting and raving about how insufferable and self-righteous Duke fans are and that’s obviously true. But the thing about this letter is that this chick is right about everything. Miami students 100% didn’t know they had a basketball team until this game. In fact I think this may have been the first sellout in the history of Hurricane basketball. Also not letting these sluts sit in the front row even though they were first in line is a joke. So everything she says is true. It’s just she so Duke. Just thinks her shit don’t stink. That being a Cameron Crazy is cool. That Duke fans aren’t the biggest losers on the planet.  Listen honey I wouldn’t wish being a Dukie on my worst enemy. Just squid city. And that’s not because I’m jealous. After all my Wolverines are the #1 team in the country. What do I have to be jealous of? Duke fans are just dorks plain and simple. No group of people on planet earth are more disillusioned by how society views them then the Dukies. They think everybody wants to be them. Nope. Everybody wants to stick you in lockers. Huge difference.

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Bs Keep Dougie Up For Year (Duh!), He Assists On Game Winner (Teach Me How To Dougie Shirts Now On Sale)

 

Click to Buy

(Editors Note- People have been tweeting at me non stop for a Teach Me How To Dougie Shirt.  Well here we go.   And I’ll openly admit I borrowed the general layout of it from a kid who stole our KG shirt and our Nose Face shirt and then actually tweeted this to me trying to taunt me for some idiotic reason.  Thanks bro.  I liked it so I took it.   See that’s how it works.  If you take my shit and make a minor change I’ll just do the same thing to you.   The only difference is I’m a mogul and you’re not.  Moral of the story.  Don’t jack my shit and I won’t jack yours.  Seems fair.  This is a Barstool shirt now.  You just got Pageviewed)

 

For the second game in a row, the Bs gave a less-than-perfect effort but still managed to leave the barn with two points last night when they scored two late goals to outlast a Carolina squad that swept them in last season’s series. And on the road, style-points don’t matter.

Anton Khudobin had a very good season debut and kept the Canes off the scoreboard in the third after giving up two goals late in the second. He brushed off an early penalty and made a handful of quality/tough saves (in addition to giving Bs fans Andy Moog flashbacks). He stopped 29 of 32 shots and of the three goals, two were on breakaways/close break-ins and the other was a goalmouth tip-in. That is to say, he couldn’t be faulted much for them.

After the Bs allowed their one-time neighbor back into the game by blowing two two-goal leads, they were finally able to put them away in the game’s last two minutes thanks to a fortuitous bounce and the veteran poise on our 19-year-old wunderkind defenseman. In a spot where most D-man would look to fire away, particularly those playing in their fifth NHL game, Dougie Hamilton looked up to feign a shot and the Hurricanes bit like a buck-toothed hooker. Instead, the puck went to a wide open David Krejci who beat a very solid Cam Ward for a 4-3 lead with 1:50 left.

 

Read the rest of this entry »

By Rear Admiral posted January 29th, 2013 at 1:29 PM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Katie from Umass

And the answer is Katie from Umass. Tick tock, tick tock….1 week from Friday Foam invades Western Mass. We got buses rolling out from the Zoo. It’s time to take back Umass which is rightfully ours. If we can’t get on campus take the campus to us.

Do you know any umass smokes or western ma smokes who need free tickets? Send them to tips@barstoolsports.com

 CLICK FOR SPRINGFIELD TICKETS

 

 

 

 

Lupos – Wed Feb 6th – Tickets on Sale Now

Toads BLACKOUT – Feb 7th  SOLD OUT

Springfield FOAM – Feb 8th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Philly FOAM – Feb 9th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Towson BLACKOUT – Feb 13th – Tickets On Sale Now 

Washington DC BLACKOUT – Fur Nightclub – 2/14 – BUY TICKETS 

ESU FOAM – Feb 15th SOLD OUT

Baltimore FOAM – Feb 16th SOLD OUT

Worcester FOAM – Feb 22nd (Tickets on Sale) 

Irving Plaza BLACKOUT Feb 23  SOLD OUT

Panama City BeachMARCH 11

Panama City BeachMARCH 18 

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 5:50 PM

Ray Lewis Forgives Anna Welker For Saying “Foolish” Things About Him…No Word On Whether Families of People He Murdered Has Forgiven Him For “Foolish” Stabbings Yet

 

ESPN – Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis said Monday he has forgiven the wife of Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker for recent comments she made via Facebook.  “I’ve always been a firm believer of the Good Book, and the Good Book always confirms, even a fool is counted wise until he opens he or she mouth,” he told reporters. “And sometimes people just say silly stuff. And they say it out of emotion. And sometimes you need to let the game take care of the game. We lost up there last year, and I didn’t hear one teammate say anything about nobody there because we have respect for that team, that they won it fair and square.”So for her to come out and say what she said, listen, I truly forgive her, and I have no hard feelings against her at all, but I believe people just make mistakes and say foolish things sometimes,” Lewis said.

 

Okay I’ve officially slipped into the twilight zone or something right?  Ray Lewis murders people.  Anna Welker said that Ray Lewis murdered people.  Yet somehow Ray has the moral high ground here?  Ray Lewis has the balls to say he has forgiven Anna Welker? Oh you have? What a big man Ray Lewis is. He forgives Anna Welker for speaking the truth. Umm what about the families of the people you murdered Ray? Have they forgiven you? Do they subscribe to the same philosophy that sometimes people just make mistakes and murder people sometimes? That humans just do silly stuff like stab people to death? Have they followed your lead to forgive and forget? Well let me answer that question for you. They haven’t forgiven you Ray. They still puke every time they see you on TV and are reminded of the fact that you killed their kids. But glad you’re a firm believer in the Good Book.  If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times.  Ray Lewis -  The best god damn murderer role model out there.

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Footage From Inside A Restraining Order Hearing Has Me Thinking She’ll Probably Get It

(TSG) An Ohio woman who was seeking an order of protection against her ex-boyfriend was brutally assaulted by the man inside a Domestic Relations courtroom last week, an attack that was recorded by a surveillance camera.

I don’t know much about the law. But I’m pretty sure the best way to go about preventing a restraining order is not to chase your girl all over the court room then lay an absolutely flawless form tackle on her. Seems like that’s giving the judge a smoking gun of sorts when you throw fucking haymakers inside her chambers. I will give the girl credit though, she was working that run around the table move perfectly for a while there. If she hadn’t fallen she probably would have gotten away scot free. But that’s the way “Duck, Duck, Get punched in the fucking face works.” Have to stay on your toes.

PS – I’m not defending the guy, not by a long shot. Lock him up forever. But isn’t that such a typical guy/girl fight? The man is overly aggressive and screaming for 30 seconds as the woman just sits there. Then she just says one sentence and all hell breaks loose. Probably told him that her ex had a bigger dick or he plays ball like a girl and he just saw red. Again, not defending him. But chicks should know not to drop a hammer like that.

By feitelberg posted January 29th, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Breaking News: Baltimore and Ray Lewis Cheated To Beat The Patriots

 

Profootballtalk - The good news is that linebacker Ray Lewis may not be facing many questions about a 13-year-old controversy during media day. The bad news is that there’s a fresh topic into which the assembled reporters will want to delve when Lewis and the Ravens gather at the Superdome for the annual exercise in journalistic hysteria. According to Sports Illustrated, Lewis contacted a company owned by a former male stripper to obtain a deer-antler velvet extract after tearing his triceps in October. Mitch Ross of S.W.A.T.S reportedly videotaped the phone call from Lewis. “Spray on my elbow every two hours?” Lewis asked Ross regarding the extract, via Philly.com “No,” Ross said. “Under your tongue.” Later, Lewis asked Ross to “just pile me up and just send me everything you got, because I got to get back on this this week.” The problem for Lewis is that the extract contains IGF-1, which is on the NFL’s list of banned substances. For the NFL, the problem is that Lewis will retire after Sunday. So there’s really nothing that can be done.

Looks like there is no injury that a little praying and a lot of cheating can’t fix.  Seriously Ray Lewis just doing Gods work again.  If he’s not murdering somebody he’s taking deer antler velvet extract to heal his torn bicep quicker. And who gave him the drug dealer’s contact? T Sizzle of course. Another Raven who cheated to get back on the field faster than humanly possible. Just frustrating. I mean you didn’t see Gronk taking this shit did you? Nope he tried to heal naturally and couldn’t do it. Meanwhile Baltimore couldn’t beat us fair and square so they had to resort to this type of chicanery.  So sad to tarnish such a great game with this type of behavior.  Oh well. It looks like no matter what happens on Sunday there will an asterix next to this season. Just goes to show you can never trust a murderer.

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 12:57 PM

The Best Indoor Windless Kite Performance You’ll See Today

 

ELECTRIC!   No other way to describe it. I mean the pomp and pageantry of it all.  Every move, every step in perfect harmony and rhythm.  This is what indoor windless kiting greatness is all about.  To deliver your best performance on the biggest stage at the biggest moment with no wind..  Jubilation indeed…

 

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 9:30 AM

No way Bells is Bigger Than Waimea, bro

Boston.com – Surfer Garrett McNamara has once again gone from his Pittsfield roots to the top of world – at least when it comes to riding gigantic waves.  McNamara, a native of Pittsfield, Monday reportedly broke his own world record by riding a wave estimated to be more than 100 feet high off the coast of Nazaré, Portugal. McNamara, who surfs out of Hawaii, set the current Guinness World Record for the largest wave surfed of 78-feet at Nazaré in 2011. That ride was first said to be more than 90 feet high.

And here I was thinking I was the only big wave rider to come out of the Commonwealth.  I can’t believe I’ve never met Garrett McNamara before.  It’s like we’re soul brothers.   I’d love to drop in on an angry growler and just shred the gnar with him one time.   Little hand says it’s time to rock and roll!

El Pres Cant’ Live In A Cage Man

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Boston Magazine’s Hatchet Job on the Boston Sports Media is Fantastic

Boston MagazineIn late July, Red Sox first baseman Adrian Gonzalez sent the organization’s top brass a text message to complain about the team’s manager, Bobby Valentine. It was by then clear that the season was lost… That incident, plus several more that reflected poorly on the manager, were revealed in an explosive story published by Yahoo! Sports on August 14. Written by Jeff Passan, the article followed a June report by ESPN’s Buster Olney that called the Red Sox a “splintered group” and described the team’s clubhouse as “toxic.” Whoever was at fault for the chaos that had descended on the team—Valentine, the players, ownership—it was clearly a massive story. Unless, that is, you happened to work as a sportswriter in Boston. While national reporters parachuted in to break a big story—as they’ve been doing with increasing frequency of late—the local press simply missed the boat. In fact, some of the Sox beat writers insisted in the aftermath of the bombshell story that Passan had gotten it all wrong…The Boston sports media, once considered one of the country’s best and most influential press corps, is stumbling toward irrelevance…Boston fans have gotten increasingly used to following the ups and downs of their favorite teams in national outlets rather than local ones. The message to The Lodge is clear: Change, or die the death of utter irrelevance.

I’ve got to hand it to Boston Magazine on this one.  For all their fawning puff pieces about how John Henry and his teenage bride are really soulmates and not at all creepy or all their pretentious rubbish about where to find the best Dim Sum in Brookline or whatever, sometimes they hit the nail right on the head, and this is one of those times.  The article covers a lot and is too long for any excerpt to do it any justice.  But it’s worth your time to read because it’s so spot-on about the sorry state of sports reporting in this town.  What was once a proud institution filled with talented, knowledgeable voices like Peter Gammons, Bob Ryan and Mike Reiss is now a shambles.  A shadow of its former glory, populated by Jurassic trolls (Shaughnessy), plagiarists (Borges), fabricators (Tomase) and frightened dullards afraid to write about something like the Red Sox mutiny because they’re more interested in lining up their next book deal than telling us what’s actually going on.

And I suppose I should be thanking them for it.  Part of the reason Barstool is as huge as we are is because the old media fell asleep at the switch.  Anyone with half a brain in their head realized a long time ago all sports coverage in this town is dictated by agendas.  Media guys either attack or defend someone based on who they’re tight with.  Belichick goes on Show A, so they support him. He doesn’t go on Show B, so they tear him apart every chance they get.  This guy announces the Bruins games so to him Jeremy Jacobs can do no wrong, etc.  The reason people come to the Stool is because we’re at least honest.  We’re fanboys who wear our hearts on our sleeves.  That’s our agenda.  We don’t carry water for someone because we’re afraid we’ll get shut out of the locker room.  And honesty will never become irrelevant.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted January 29th, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Reader Email – Introducing The Whizdom

Reader Email

Hey Dave,

Myself and a good friend of mine have had an idea of making a personal urinary device that can be used when boozing. It lets you piss anywhere discreetly and without mess. After a bunch of years of talking about it we finally got a group of our friends to put some money up and we got the Whizdom off the ground. Myself being an owner and a user fucking love the Whizdom. Its convenient and makes any event that more enjoyable.

I used one this weekend at the Martha’s Vineyard Chili Fest and can not tell you how awesome it is. While everyone was waiting in lines for the disgusting porta potties I just walked over to the area outside where everyone smokes, stood in the grass and let it fly. I was talking to a cop the entire time while I was pissing and he didn’t even notice.

I was reaching out to you because I think you and all the Stoolies would find it cool and I would love to let you try it.

Types of Venues its great for are:
Out door concerts
Festivals
Tailgating
Skiing/ Snowboarding
Golfing
Hunting
Fishing
Outdoor laborers
Mardi Gras
Parades (New england sports Championship parades especially)
Marathon mondays
and many many more…

Let me know what you think!

Go B’s

 

What do I think? Honestly? Well if you must know I think it is absolutely the worst invention I’ve ever heard of in my life. No joke. I think it’s that bad. Like let’s forget the fact that the video was confusing as fuck. Let’s forget the fact you need to thumbtack this thing to your shoe. Let’s forget all that shit. The beauty of being a man is we can piss wherever the fuck we want. Seriously who waits for a porta potty to take a leak? Like when you’re golfing, hunting, fishing, etc just go into the fucking woods. This idea is so preposterously bad I got to assume I’m getting trolled.  But for some reason I don’t think I am. And the craziest part is that this is so ridiculously stupid I almost want to buy one. What do the Stoolies think? Are these guys even real life?

 

Vote 1 for I’d buy it and 10 for no chance this is legit.

 

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By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 4:00 PM

Postal Service Employee Retires After 44 Years And Zero Sick Days Which Leads To An Ongoing Debate At Barstool: Is It Acceptable To Take Sick Days?

(FreePress) Deborah Ford of Detroit put in 44 years before retiring Wednesday — a good stint, to be sure. And they were all with the same employer, the U.S. Postal Service, making the 64-year-old Ford a rarity in these days of job jumping. But what makes her truly a standout is that in all those years of clerical work at Detroit’s main post office on West Fort Street, Ford never took a sick day. She used vacation time for doctor’s appointments. And whenever she felt lousy, “I’d shake it off,” said Ford, who lives in Detroit with her 86-year-old father. “Amazing” and “remarkable” were words used by Chuck Howe, the Postal Service district manager who oversees the Detroit District, comprising more than 13,000 employees in Michigan’s eastern half.

I bet everyone in this office was THRILLED to see Deborah go. “Hey congrats, Deb! Never took a sick day! Really ‘shook it off’ when you came into work every day hacking and sneezing all over everybody. Passing the flu around the office like it’s the fucking bosses birthday card. Such a dedicated employee Debbie. A true American hero!” Anyone who goes to work when they’re sick is a selfish scumbag who only cares about their own paycheck and not the well being of their co-workers.

But this story actually brings up a pretty confusing topic for me right now. Last week I got sick. Friday Pres tweets that “I’m sick” is a “#ThingNeverSaidInTheRealWorld.” Which is weird because I was positive that I didn’t invent the phrase “sick day.” Nonetheless, he’s says that these “sick days” are only for chicks to use on their wedding or some shit and retweets all the peanut gallery morons who were saying “he sent a tweet this morning! he’s plenty healthy!” as if that’s the new pain gauge for illness. Doctor’s just walking into patient rooms and ask people to take out their iPhone, as long as they can operate it they’re healthy as a horse. I still have no idea what was going on. Maybe the most confusing hour of my life. I’m not even saying Pres is wrong, although I’m pretty sure he is. I guess all I’m wondering is do I get to put #sickday on the list of things I invented along with #nofilter?

Editors Note – Just to clarify.  Feitleberg wrote like 2 blogs in 48 hours last week.  I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said he had the sniffles.  I tweeted something about how that’s shit you don’t hear in the real world.  He replied by saying they had sick days in the real world.   My point is this.  Only chicks who know they are getting married and will be a housewife in 2 years and have no career goals or ambitions take sick days.   If you have any desire to be good at your job or impress your boss you don’t take sick days.    It’s kind of like optional practices.   You better fucking show up if you care about playing time.   But Feits has never had a job in the real world so he doesn’t know any better.

Vote 1 for Pres is right. Sick days are only for chicks and 10 for everybody takes sick days

 

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By feitelberg posted January 29th, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Best Superbowl Headline From Media Day

 

Perfection

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 4:28 PM

Nose Face Gets Last Laugh After David Clarkson Chirps At Him About His Nose

 

As a nose man I take offense to this gesture.   Oh well didn’t matter.  Nose Face got the last laugh per usual.

By elpresidente posted January 29th, 2013 at 9:58 PM
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