Marshall Faulk Admits He Still Thinks the Patriots Cheated

Tom E. CurranThe Super Bowl is back in New Orleans for the first time since February 2002, when the Patriots upset the mighty St. Louis Rams. On Tuesday, I asked Marshall Faulk if being back in the Superdome this week conjured up any emotions from that day… “I couldn’t even conjure up the feelings of what I felt after the game. I’m sure I was heartbroken and maybe a little upset…” People in New England, Faulk was told, believe he still shows bitterness over the loss. And a dislike of the Patriots in his role as an NFL Network commentator. “They misunderstand,” Faulk corrected. “Am I over the loss? Yeah, I’m over the loss. But I’ll never be over being cheated out of the Super Bowl. That’s a different story. I can understand losing a Super Bowl, that’s fine . . . But how things happened and what took place. Obviously, the commissioner gets to handle things how he wants to handle them but if they wanted us to shut up about what happened, show us the tapes. Don’t burn ‘em.”

Oh.  Well that clears that up.  To think, all this time I thought Faulk was still butthurt about losing to the Patriots.  I watch him every week and hear the contempt in his whiny voice every time the subject turns to the Pats and I took it to mean he’s still bitter, 11 years later.  But I misunderstand.  He’s over the loss, he’s just not over the cheating.  That would be the cheating that didn’t take place.  That the same commissioner who whacked the Pats of a 1st rounder and $750,000 says didn’t take place.  That the John Tomase, who made up the fucking story in the first place admits didn’t take place.  That cheating.  That’s what had Marshall Faulk “heartbroken” and “upset.”  But bitter?  Never.  Glad he straightened me out.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted January 30th, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Lil Poopy Is About To Put Boston On The Rap Map

 

I’ve had it up to here with people saying Boston doesn’t have any street cred. That we never churn out good rappers because everyone here is white, Irish racists. It’s like we get totally ignored in the East Coast vs. West Coast beefs. Good rappers only come from NYC and LA? Maybe a little Atlanta and New Orleans? Maybe if you’ve never heard of Lil Poopy you’d believe that. Hottest rhymes out of a 9 year old from New England’s mouth you ever heard. Hot bitches on his arm. Sick cars in his driveway. Kid is already a star and he knows it. Do ya thing, Poopy! Coke ain’t a bad word!

Just next time maybe don’t wear a Sox hat with a Braves jacket and think I won’t notice that you look like a fucking moron.

By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2013 at 4:02 PM

Reporter Owns Some Chick Who Tried To Interupt Her Newscast

 

This is going viral right now.  To be honest I’m not sure what the deal is with this video.  It’s clearly not new.   I don’t even know if it’s real.   I think it probably is but maybe from when the 49′ers played in New Orleans during the 80′s?

UPDATE – I guess it happened this week.  I was trying to find this chick for the Louisiana channel 6 news.  Turns out she’s from Orlando

 

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 7:40 PM

Does This Look Like The Face Of Jason London aka Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd From Dazed And Confused Who Got Beat Up By A Bouncer And Shit His Pants In A Cop Car?

GossipCop – Jason London reportedly soiled himself in a cop car and used a homophobic slur after being arrested for assault and disorderly conduct following an incident at a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona early Sunday. According to the police report obtained by Gossip Cop, officers were summoned to the Martini Ranch bar at 1:42 a.m., where they found a beaten London in the street outside the establishment. The bar’s bouncer told authorities the actor had walked by him inside the bar, sneezed on him, and then “cold cocked” the bouncer in the face when asked to apologize. Security guards then reportedly tossed London from the bar.

According to cops, when paramedics arrived on the scene later, London “became belligerent and started cursing,” refusing to cooperate with their treatment. He eventually became so aggressive, say police, one officer was compelled to “deliver a knee strike” to London’s thigh to help subdue him and get him seated on the ground. London allegedly continued ranting and swearing at police, calling one a “f**king hillbilly” and complaining about his treatment. After he was placed under arrest and moved to the backseat of the cop car, London reportedly said, “Guess what, f**got? I f**king love this! I f**king own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf**king famous actor! F**king look me up, b*tch!” At one point, London is said to have “lean[ed] to the left and defecate[d] in his pants,” telling police, “I told you that I’m happy as sh*t!”

 

If you’re even remotely cool then you know Dazed and Confused is one of the greatest movies ever made. This cannot be debated. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. It’s a portrait of youth and rebellion that transcends generations. It has some of the most memorable characters and one liners in cinematic history. It’s a film that can be watched and re-watched over and over without ever getting old. Simply put, it is one of mankind’s greatest artistic achievements.

And that’s why it’s heartbreaking to hear about the movie’s main character, Jason London aka Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd, going crazy and shitting his pants in a cop car. Soiling yourself in a cop car changes everything. I won’t be able to watch the movie now without thinking of his stupid drunken face, grimacing while he diarrheas his trousers. Looking defeated. Glasses crooked. Calling cops faggots and pooping the fuck out of his Levis. The complete opposite of what I’d expect from the coolest kid at Lee High School.

But I guess all we can do is remember the good times, when he was a stud quarterback instead of an incontinent scumbag. Dude wasn’t always a pants-pooper. There was a time when life wasn’t so shitty…

By JMac posted January 30th, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Stephanie from Westfield State

Introducing Stephanie from Westfield State. One week from today the Blackout Tour begins.  It’s our annual kickoff stop at Lupos.  Then onto Toads, Springfield and Philly.  I think I’m just going to roadie it the entire first week.   Toads and Philly are sold out already.  Don’t be the guy or girl who gets shut out.  Unless you don’t think this looks like fun….And yes all smokes party for free.  That’s the Barstool mantra.

 

Barstool Blackout – Fckin Foam – Providence from Barstool Blackout Tour on Vimeo.

 

Lupos – Wed Feb 6th – Tickets on Sale Now

Toads BLACKOUT – Feb 7th  SOLD OUT

Springfield FOAM – Feb 8th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Philly FOAM – Feb 9th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Towson BLACKOUT – Feb 13th – Tickets On Sale Now 

Washington DC BLACKOUT – Fur Nightclub – 2/14 – BUY TICKETS 

ESU FOAM – Feb 15th SOLD OUT

Baltimore FOAM – Feb 16th SOLD OUT

Worcester FOAM – Feb 22nd (Tickets on Sale) 

Irving Plaza BLACKOUT Feb 23  SOLD OUT

Panama City BeachMARCH 11

Panama City BeachMARCH 18 

 

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 5:13 PM

Science Proves That Cats Are Responsible For Everything Wrong In the World

 

BBC - Cats are one of the top threats to US wildlife, killing billions of animals each year, a study suggests. However, they added that pet cats also played a role and that owners should do more to reduce their impact. The authors concluded that more animals are dying at the claws of cats in the United States than in road accidents, collisions with buildings or poisonings. The domestic cat’s killer instinct has been well documented on many islands around the world. Felines accompanying their human companions have gone on to decimate local wildlife, and they have been blamed for the global extinction of 33 species.

Is this news? That cats are responsible for killing billions of animals a year and have caused the extinction of 33 species and have an overall bad attitude? No shit cats suck and murder things. That’s what they do. Never mind just killing animals though. My question is how many humans have they killed? Probably not billions, but it’s certainly in the millions. Listen I’ve said it since day 1 with Barstool. Dogs just want to play, make people happy and be friends with everybody. Cats want to murder you. I didn’t need science to tell me that. Just look into a cats eyes and you know they want you dead. Look into a dogs eyes and you know they just want to be pet.

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 12:55 PM

How Embarrassed Was Tuiasosopo To Go On Dr. Phil?

what everyone thinks he looks like:

 

 

vs.

reality:

 

God dammit Roniah! You double Catfished us! First you were Manti Teo’s dead girlfriend and then you were this little Guido who was a decent enough looking guy that he shouldn’t have to create fake internet girlfriends for two years. In reality you’re just another fat Hawaiian. A guy who was using pics from his freshman year of college to trick people to think he’s in shape. Absolutely sucks for you that the whole world finds out that you’re fat today. Super embarrassing. Say what you will about creating fake girlfriends and killing her and being “romantically in love”/gay obsessed with a Heisman candidate, the whole world finding out you’re actually a fatass is way more embarrassing.

PS – why has no one mentioned that Tuiasosopo clearly isn’t gay? He’s fa’afafine. It’s so obvious yet I haven’t heard the media mention this word once. Roniah you gay? Nope I’m fa’afafine. That’s as long as this interview should have taken. Roniah just hates acting masculine and prefers to pretend he’s a girl. That’s fa’afafine. It’s not gay if your culture has a word for it.

By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2013 at 2:00 PM

The Wall Street Journal Does An Expose On Four Buddies Who Play Tag….Like the Kids Game You Play At Recess

 

Wall Street Journal - – Earlier this month, Brian Dennehy started a new job as chief marketing officer of Nordstrom Inc. In his first week, he pulled aside a colleague to ask a question: How hard it is for a nonemployee to enter the building? Mr. Dennehy doesn’t have a particular interest in corporate security. He just doesn’t want to be “It.” Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of “Tag.” The game they play is fundamentally the same as the schoolyard version: One player is “It” until he tags someone else. But men in their 40s can’t easily chase each other around the playground, at least not without making people nervous, so this tag has a twist. There are no geographic restrictions and the game is live for the entire month of February. The last guy tagged stays “It” for the year. That means players get tagged at work and in bed. They form alliances and fly around the country. Wives are enlisted as spies and assistants are ordered to bar players from the office.

One February day in the mid-1990s, Mr. Tombari and his wife, then living in California, got a knock on the door from a friend. “Hey, Joe, you’ve got to check this out. You wouldn’t believe what I just bought,” he said, as he led the two out to his car. What they didn’t know was Sean Raftis, who was “It,” had flown in from Seattle and was folded in the trunk of the Honda Accord. When the trunk was opened he leapt out and tagged Mr. Tombari, whose wife was so startled she fell backward off the curb and tore a ligament in her knee. Over the years, some of the players fanned out around the country—which curbed the action but raised the stakes. At one point, Chris Ammann was living in Boston. So Mr. Konesky dipped into his frequent-flier miles and crossed the country on the last weekend of the month. He spent the next two days in the bushes outside Mr. Ammann’s apartment, sitting in his friend’s favorite bar or driving up and down his street. Mr. Ammann never showed. Mr. Konesky was “It” for the year.

Umm I don’t get it. This was a real article in the Wall Street Journal? About four squids who play tag with each other?  Guys who fly across the country and hide in each other’s bushes and shit? Just so they aren’t “it”? What the fuck? Okay, okay, I got tricked.  This is the Onion right? Just no way this is real life. No way the Wall Street Journal really did a full blown story on an adult game of tag.  I refuse to believe that can be true.  Nice try Onion.  Adult tag?  Haha.  You almost had me.

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 11:10 AM

If I Have A Daughter I’m Definitly Moving To Thailand And Making Her Muay Thai Box

Listen I’m on the record as saying if I have a daughter I’ll probably kill myself. But not anymore. Not after watching this video. I’ll just grab the first fucking plane to Thailand and train her to be a Muay Thai boxing champion. Be the first jewish Muay boxing champion of her kind.. Beats watching her play with dolls and talk about boys. And I’d give her a sick haircut too. Just random patches of hair all over the place. I may not know much about Muay Thai boxing, but I know that’s the whole key to being good at it.  Have an intimidating as fuck haircut.

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 10:05 AM

Questions That Have Bothered Me Forever: Does Harvey Weinstein Fuck Bitches?

 

So it’s Hollywood awards season again. For some reason I’m mesmerized by award shows. I watch them all. Golden Globes, SAGs, Oscars etc. I watch the red carpet, I watch the post shows, I watch it all.  And you can’t help but notice year in and year out that nobody gets more love during speeches than Harvey Weinstein. Every fucking actress basically says they owe their entire lives, career and pussies to him. He is by far the most powerful dude in Hollywood. Like if Harvey Weinstein wants to make you a star than you automatically become a star. So my question is does this guy smash chicks or what? He must right? Like yeah I know his wife is a smoke, but who cares? When the hottest women in the world will all fuck just to be put in your movie how can you turn that down? You can’t. But you never hear about him in the gossip pages or shit like that. I just refuse to believe somebody that powerful who is constantly surrounded by that many smokes doesn’t inhale pussy. Seems flat out impossible

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 2:50 PM

The Revenge of Blackberry!

 

So today was a huge day for Blackberry and America in general. After months of anticipation and speculation Blackberry finally released the Q10 and Z10 blackberries. Well the reviews are in and they are glorious.

“I kind of broke up with you for something that had a little more bling,” she said. “Now we’re exclusively dating again and I’m very happy.”

Alicia Keys

“The absolute best typing experience in the industry, period.”

Thorsten Heins (BlackBerry CEO)

 It’s lovely, fast and efficient, bristling with fresh, useful ideas. And here’s the shocker — it’s complete. The iPhone, Android and Windows Phone all entered life missing important features. Not this one.

David Pogue, New York Times

And on and on it goes. Analysts from coast to coast are hailing the new Blackberry as the best cell phone device every invented. Already proclaiming the Iphone to be antiquated, prehistoric and an embarrassment to those who still use it. Now a lesser man would gloat right now. Say that I told you so. That I told you Iphones were just a phase for easily impressed teenage girls who like instagram and fancy ringtones.  That Blackberries would always be for cracking skulls and making mogul moves. That if you wanted to be taken seriously in the boardroom you needed a blackberry. But like I said I’ll be the bigger man and just leave it at this. I bet that dead mothefucker Steve Jobs is rolling around in his grave right now and I’m loving every second of it.

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Southie Rules Is Too Bad To Be Good

 

According to Twitter practically everybody was watching “Southie Rules” last night, the new “reality” show on A&E. Has to be the fakest reality television program. And I don’t mean that in the sense like Jersey pussies got worked up about Jersey Shore saying it was giving them a bad name, I mean just bad, scripted television. I’m not a child. I don’t think Santa, the Easter Bunny, or Kim Kardashian’s tears are real. I understand all reality TV is scripted. But Southie Rules is so bad that I think the actors are reading their cue cards from behind the camera for the first time ever.

A&E has to be trolling. Admittedly, people from Boston are pretty easily riled up and that goes tenfold for Southie folk. But whoever decided this was a good idea went WAY over the top. Let’s ride bicycles to deliver trays of meatballs but whoops we fell and let’s have a meatball fight now! Then Jon decides to strip for a bachelorette party and, wouldn’t ya know it, his mom walks in the door just as he takes his pants off! Or how about the super important yuppie mommy meeting? As soon as you turn the TV on porn is playing! Such bad luck considering people watch tons of porn on their televisions these days. The whole thing is just epically awful. And not in the sense of most reality TV where it’s a train wreck that you can’t look away from, but more in the sense that it’s acting typically reserved for high school home videos. As awkward and itchy as television gets.

PS – why does Devin have subtitles? Sounds exactly like everyone else in the show.

PPS – I think Jenn’s career path came down to choosing between Casting Couch or Southie Rules. She made the wrong choice.

By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2013 at 11:50 AM

The Winner of Super Bowl Media Day is Katherine Webb

New OrleansWelcome to the NFL, Katherine Webb. After becoming a focal point of the BCS National Championship broadcast, the former Miss Alabama and current girlfriend of University of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron was front and center at Super Bowl media day interviewing players for Inside Edition. When Webb wasn’t putting a mic in front of members of the Baltimore Ravens or San Francisco 49ers, she found herself having many placed in front of her on the Superdome turf… “I flew in from Los Angeles last night late so I’m running on about four hours of sleep,” Webb told USA TODAY Sports. “It’s been absolutely crazy. I feel like I’m one of the players or coaches being interviewed. I’ve been hounded by media.” Not that she hasn’t been courting the publicity allotted by Brent Musberger’s sudden star-making turn. Webb is currently filming Splash, a diving competition that is basically a spinoff of Dancing With the Stars, and will be appearing in Vanity Fair and helping to promote the upcoming Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. She’ll also be back in familiar territory as one of the judges in the Miss USA pageant.

Poor Katherine Webb.  You can see now why the feminists and the suits at ESPN were so quick to leap to her defense after Musberger said she’s pretty.  They were trying to save her from a life of jet setting around the country on Inside Edition’s nickel, Reality shows, Vanity Fair, SI promotions, pageant judging and being treated like a star at the Super Bowl.  Thank God she had those people looking out for her, it’s just a shame they didn’t react fast enough to protect her from all this fame, money and celebrity.  I’m sure tonight when she’s back in the Niners team hotel and Colin Kapernick is leaving the map of Hawaii across her chest, she’ll wish they’d saved her from this life of suffering.

PS.  I think I’m starting to really resent this chick, saying she’s getting “hounded by media,” like she hasn’t made it her life’s work to be applauded for her good looks.  I just hope she’s already given Musberger a Rusty Trombone for making her a star.  If he’d kept his mouth shut she’d be judging a Todders & Tiaras tournament at the Huntsville La Quinta Inn right now instead of  star-banging NFL players.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted January 30th, 2013 at 1:26 PM

Studies Show That Men Who Don’t Do Household Chores Have More Sex

(U.Wash) Married men and women who divide household chores in traditional ways report having more sex than couples who share so-called men’s and women’s work, according to a new study co-authored by sociologists at the University of Washington. Other studies have found that husbands got more sex if they did more housework, implying that sex was in exchange for housework. But those studies did not factor in what types of chores the husbands were doing. The new study, published in the February issue of the journal American Sociological Review, shows that sex isn’t a bargaining chip. Instead, sex is linked to what types of chores each spouse completes. Couples who follow traditional gender roles around the house – wives doing the cooking, cleaning and shopping; men doing yard work, paying bills and auto maintenance – reported greater sexual frequency.

Stories like this must really pinch feminists right in the clit. They can chant and cheer and protest for equality all they want but at the end of the day that’s not what normal women want. They don’t want men who wear rubber yellow gloves and clean grout with toothbrushes. They don’t want men who know how to butane some Creme Brulee or ones who know exactly when JC Penny’s annual warehouse sale is. That doesn’t get them off. They want men who pay the bills, drink beer, watch football and maybe ride a lawn mower every once in a while. That’s what gets chicks wet. They want to fuck manly men. That’s why no one will ever take feminists seriously and that’s why I’ll never get laid.

By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2013 at 3:25 PM

How Aggressive Is This Viva La Stool Sign?

 

How aggressive is this?  Like this kid is basically standing at center court holding the Viva La Stool sign.  I’m surprised he didn’t make Jay-Z hold it.   And the best part was I was communicating with him on twitter too.  ESPN told him to take it down.  I told him I needed an HD shot.   He put it back up and you can see him and his buddy talking about how I needed it one more time.   Haters gonna hate….Stoolies gonna slate.

 

By elpresidente posted January 30th, 2013 at 9:04 PM

Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

ArizonaA teacher’s aide is alleged to have had sex with three students while others stood by and filmed the sex romp. Clarice Lee is accused of leading the six students to a deserted school gym where she had sex with a 16-year-old and committed sex acts on two others. Three other students watched the 22-year-old woman have sex, with one of them even filming the event on his cell phone… at Amphitheater High School in Tucson… While in the gym, Lee had intercourse with a 16-year-old boy and sexual contact with two 18-year-old students… [T]he teacher knew the students from passing them in the hall, but the incident appeared to be spontaneous.

Is there anything more positive going on in American life right now than this escalating Sex Scandal Teacher arms race?  We’re witnessing an entire generation of these crazed hos who’ll go to any length to outslut each other.  Teachers who are as starved for attention as they are for teenage penis and will pay any price, bear any burden to become Sex Scandal Teacher legends.  And it’s been a long time since anyone burst onto the scene and announced herself to the world like my girl Clarice here.  She’s the Mike Trout of SSTs, an instant superstar.  Walking up to a group of kids she barely knew in the hall and spontaneously inviting them for a 4-way in the gym while three other kids videotape it is the ultimate power move.  She has upped the ante for any aspiring horny teachers out there and put them on notice that if they want to make a name for themselves, it’s going to take doing three kids at once in front of a crowd, just for openers.  And this is an arms race we all win.

The Grades:
Looks:
OK.  Not a superstar, but OK.  I had a lot of hope off that mugshot, but the red sweater picture looks like White House-era Chelsea Clinton and the white sweater looks a little like Kevin Youkilis.  But who are we kidding?  We would.  Grade: B-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
Seriously, what more could she do?  This is the SST equivalent of a quarterback getting a passer rating of 158.3. Grade: A+
Intangibles:
Ever since “Silence of the Lambs,” the name Clarice has just done it for me.  I hope one of the prison guards has the presence of mind to ask her “Don’t you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice?” And she gets points for doing it in front of an audience at Amphitheater High.  Grade: B
Overall:  B+ 
 If she doesn’t make the end of the year squad with this resume, it means we’ve had one hell of a year.
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.

By Jerry Thornton posted January 30th, 2013 at 10:40 AM
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