Former NFL Player Ray Edwards Knocks A Guy Out With Best Phantom Punch Ever

NFL - On Saturday, Edwards, who was released by the Atlanta Falcons in November after recording 33 sacks in seven NFL seasons with the Falcons and Minnesota Vikings, fought someone named Mike Smith in West Fargo, N.D. Well, defining it as a fight is generous. Smith is a short, flabby-looking bald man, who appears more like an accountant than a boxer. And based on the cell phone footage of the bout, it was more flop than fight. Edwards throws a ferocious uppercut that misses Smith by about a foot. The breeze from the punch seems to knock Smith over, as he immediately flops to the mat WWE-style.


Best knockout ever. Brain damage all over the place…

By JMac posted February 12th, 2013 at 3:14 PM

How Is Skateboarding In the Olympics But Not Wrestling?

(NEWSER) – The pentathlon looked most likely to get the ax in a review of the 26 Olympic sports, but it’s wrestling that’s been cut from the 2020 Games. Dropping a sport allows the International Olympic Committee to pick one up for that year—and now, wrestling will be competing with baseball and softball, karate, squash, and other sports for the coveted spot. IOC members will meet in May to propose a sport and they’ll vote on the matter in September. Wrestling is one of the Olympics’ oldest sports, the AP notes. The IOC reviewed factors ranging from TV ratings and ticket sales to doping rules as it made its decision; subjective criteria like politics and personal taste also played a role in the decision by 15 commission members. Pentathlon officials made a big push to keep their sport on the program.


So this is the big Olympic story today. All sorts of wrestlers freaking out that they won’t get to watch sweaty guys wrastle in 2020. Got a buddy who wrestled in college and he’s all bent out of shape about it. Personally I could give less of a fuck because I hate the Olympics in general.  Plus I feel like wrestling is one of those sports that only people who wrestle care about. There aren’t any fans who have never actually done it themselves. And if we’re being honest with each other, real wrestling is the most boring sport that’s supposed to be exciting in the history of the world.  But having said that isn’t wrestling like the world’s oldest sport?  I mean how do you have motocross and not wrestling?   That makes no sense on any level to me.  So I guess the Iron Sheik has a point when he says the following;


“After 1000 years they take away the best sport in the world? This is the first time the dumb motherf**kers have no balls for they make the walking an Olympic sport.”

He adds, “If I see anybody on the street that work from the IOC I swear to the Jesus I suplex them put them in camel clutch break their back make them humble.”

“The #TEAMSHEIKIE respect the Olympic now they can all go f**k themselves and make the Curling Olympic sport because they all the biggest piece of no good s**t and I never watch the Olympic again. Also buy my t shirt [on my website] or go f**k yourself.”



By JMac posted February 12th, 2013 at 3:48 PM

Brady Hoke Don’t Give A Fuck


Think Brady Hoke gives a flying fuck?  He’ll sit right in the middle of the fucking Izzone dressed in maize and blue and dare anybody to stop him.  Probably didn’t even have tickets.  Just showed up and pushed little brother out of the way. Oh you were sitting here?  Not anymore.  Power move.  Michigan Man move.


Pic from Spartan Zone



By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 8:56 PM

10 Days Till Worcester


Worcester Round II.….10 Day Alert.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 10:09 PM

Big Papi is First Out of the Gate in the “Blame 2012 All on Bobby Valentine Sweepstakes”

FORT MYERS, Fla. — David Ortiz was asked whether the team’s moves to acquire a number of players considered to have excellent clubhouse makeup was a reflection of an issue in the team’s character of a year ago. Ortiz…targeted not his former teammates but instead former Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine. “You know, a lot of players have a lot of issues with our manager last year…. sometimes you get confused and you get caught in a situation where you don’t know how you’re going to react to things.”… Ortiz painted the picture of a team that struggled with a manager who seemingly wanted to reinvent the wheel in 2012. He cited what he viewed as unusual spring training drills as an example, suggesting that some of Valentine’s drills led to an atmosphere of discomfort even before the start of the regular season. “Last year in spring training, just to give an example, when we were doing the workouts, I started seeing things that I had never seen in baseball, since I’ve been playing baseball,” said Ortiz. “… We were doing drills, some game-changing things. For example, we were talking earlier today, we were practicing cutoffs and relays. The throw coming in from the outfielder, the second baseman and the shortstop had to go two feet away from the outfielder, cut off the ball and make the throw to home plate… Those are things that you see it, the following year you try to fix it and try to go back to the basics.”

Spring Training 2013 is right on schedule.  John Henry is saying he’s not distracted by Liverpool FC and Roush Racing, shooting the messenger on Francona’s book, and lying through his little baby teeth about not having read it.  Jon Lester sounds more like Josh Beckett every day, saying he’s proud of his 9-14 season because a lot of those losses weren’t his fault and he did his job.  The beat writers are doing glowing articles about John Lackey saying he’s in the best shape of his life, tanned, rested and ready to be an Ace.   Pedroia and Ellsbury’s plane got hit by lightning.  And they’re already starting to scapegoat Bobby V for the shitshow that was last season.  Everything is transpiring exactly as I thought it would.  (OK, except for the lightning thing; I did not see that coming.)  You knew these guys were going to pin 2012 entirely on Valentine.  It’s like Bill Parcells always used to say: If you give guys an excuse to lose, they’ll take it every time.  And Valentine gave them the perfect alibi.  Ooh, our manager is a nutjob.  He does things different.  His cutoff drills are weird and we’ve never seen them before so we’re going to get fat and spend six months playing like garbage.  I don’t suppose anyone in the throng of reporters standing around Ortiz bothered to ask him why he and his teammates didn’t just suck it up and win anyway.  To you know, earn the millions they’re being paid.  Or for the sake of the 37,000 people in the stands paying the highest prices in the game.  Or ask him why, if it was all Valentine’s fault,  they flat out quit on the previous manager, whom they all claim to love and who bent over backwards to give them everything they wanted.  Including good old-fashioned traditional cutoff drills.  But I guess I’m expecting too much.  So yes, so far the new season is unfolding exactly as we had ever reason to expect it would, with everyone claiming last year’s train wreck is all on the guy who got fired and they’re all blameless.  The only thing that surprises me is that it took a whole day for someone to say it.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted February 12th, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Do You Think The Poodle Knows He Looks Like A Jackass?


So just like the rest of the world I was glued to the Westminster dog show last night. That was until the Min Pin got royally screwed and then I had to shut it off. Anyway before that though The First Lady and I had a heated debate about the Poodle. Do you think the poodle knows he looks like a jackass? Like what is up with that haircut? It’s HORRIBLE. First Lady says the dog absolutely loves it. Can’t get enough of it. That he wants his hat to be higher. Thinks it’s stylish. Thinks all the other dogs look ridiculous. That he wouldn’t trade the pom poms on his shoes for anything. I don’t know. I think he has to know it’s a horrid look. He has to. Dogs aren’t that stupid. He looks around the room. He sees what’s happening. He knows he’s the only one that looks like this. It’s fucking embarrassing. It has to be right?  Like come on bro.  Give me a fucking normal haircut here.  Give me a chance.   You can’t send me into a hatchet fight without a hatchet.


Vote 1 for the Poodle loves it.  Drips swag.   And vote 10 for he knows the score. Would kill just for a normal haircut.


1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (560 votes, average: 8.26 out of 10)
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By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 2:43 PM

Tragedy Strikes When Stripper Severs Her Thumb During 9th Annual Delilah’s Diamond G-String Competition

(this is what came up when I googled “half moon aerial apparatus”.  Sort of disappointing) – AT THE 9TH annual Delilah’s Diamond G-String Competition, dancers used all kinds of props – swords, footballs, hula hoops, stripper’s poles and of course, g-strings – to prove their sex appeal in hopes of winning a $10,000 cash prize. Sarah Berry used a “half moon aerial apparatus” – but her thumb was amputated while she rehearsed before the July 20, 2011, contest, according to a lawsuit filed Friday in Common Pleas Court. Berry, 35, of Roxborough, claims that Delilah’s Den, the competition’s host and creator, failed to ensure that the apparatus was properly designed, built, inspected and tested, and didn’t warn users of its dangers, the lawsuit says. She’s seeking more than $50,000 in damages for “pain and suffering, disfigurement, humiliation and embarrassment.” The digit disaster happened July 18, 2011, at the club on Spring Garden Street near Front, when a sharp edge on the apparatus – a crescent-shaped metal bar suspended from the ceiling – severed her thumb and she fell to the ground, according to her attorney, James D. Golkow. “The show must go on, so they had the show without her, because she had amputated her thumb by then,” Golkow said. “My client actually studied in school to train on this sort of aerial apparatus, with hopes of performing in Broadway shows and circus acts,” Golkow said.

When I first started reading this story and they said somebody used a sword as a prop I would have bet my life that was responsible for this accident. Nope it was the old half moon aerial apparatus. I guess I should have seen that one coming a mile away. Anyway is this chick really only suing for 50K?  Well then she doesn’t deserve a penny. Because the fact of the matter is anytime you have “pain and suffering, disfigurement, humiliation and embarrassment.” you should be suing for more than 50K.  This just sounds like a chick trying to make a quick buck if you ask me. She tried to go big and it cost her herthumb. Hey those are the breaks. It you want the ultimate/ Delilah’s Diamond G-String title you got to be willing to pay the ultimate price/lose a thumb.

PS – I love how the lawyer tries to say she’s not really a stripper but a circus performer or some shit like that. Ha. Got to love strippers. Just refusing to admit they are strippers even when they get their thumbs hacked off in a g string competition.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Gronk Gives A Big FU To The Haters With His Sorry For Partying Shirt


(ESPN)Analyst Tedy Bruschi was at ESPN studios in Bristol, Conn., on Monday, appearing on “NFL Live”, among other programs. At one point, the topic of discussion turned to Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski. “If I was on that team, I’d talk to him. I’d pull him aside,” Bruschi said. “You have a cast on your arm, you’ve had it surgically repaired twice, and you’re out there on stage ‘DDT-ing’ guys; it’s some wrestling move we used to do when we were in high school. You can’t do it.”


PFTAfter Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski did his traditional post-Super Bowl shirtless dancing routine, there was some talk in New England that Gronk needs to grow up, and that a veteran in the Patriots’ locker room ought to say something to him. But one of the Patriots’ veterans, guard Logan Mankins, says that as long as Gronkowski is neither breaking the law nor injuring himself, there are no concerns within the locker room about the way he conducts his personal life.  “As long as he’s not getting DUIs and doing things that are against the law . . . I don’t think he’s hurting anyone,” Mankins said, via Mike Reiss ‏of “Hopefully he doesn’t hurt his arm. Then that would be bad. Gronk is a big meathead that likes to party and play football.

I take a back seat to no man when it comes to my respect and admiration for Tedy Bruschi. I’d take a bullet for him then carry him out of the room to “I Will Always Love You” and I think the world knows it. That said, I’m with Logan Mankins on this one. While the Fun Police (no disrespect, Tedy) are out trying to persecute Gronk and the 21st century Puritans (Full Tilt, Full Time, #54!) are running around in hysterics about him out having harmless, goofy, drunken hijinks with his brothers, Mankins tells us what they really think of him inside the locker room.  That they love him because he enjoys football and enjoys life and he’s not hurting anyone.  And make no mistake, Mankins is a captain and a true leader and speaks for everyone when he says it. Bruschi and Gronk never played together and he doesn’t know the way Mankins does. Like I told Felger and Mazz Friday, If I could create the perfect ballplayer to root for, “Weird Science”-style, I’d make Gronk.  I’m not on the cafeteria plan with him, picking and choosing which parts I like.   I’ll take my Gronk as is. The whole ball of wax. The catches, the blocking, the spikes, the naked pictures on the Body Issue, playing Crossies in the men’s room at the ESPYs, the porn stars and yeah, DDT-ing his brother with a cast on his arm.  It’s all part of the Gronk package.  Just like it was for hard-partying teams like the Big, Bad Bruins in the 70s, the great Celtics teams of the 80s or the Idiot Red Sox World Series champs.  They worked hard and they played hard. And we not only accepted it, we loved them for it.  So the modern day Temperance Union can back the hell off and let Gronk be Gronk, a big meathead that likes to party and play football and who isn’t hurting anyone.  Just the way Mankins and Barstool like him.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted February 12th, 2013 at 7:01 PM

BU Rent A Cop Arrests A Kid For Hitting Him With A Snowball During Snowball Fight On Esplanade


BOSTON (CBS) A Boston University student was arrested after a massive snowball fight Friday night. Police say the student, who is not being identified, allegedly hit an officer with a snowball. Video posted to YouTube shows a police officer chasing the man through the crowd and before arresting him. The incident happened as BU police were dispersing a crowd of students at the Esplanade during the blizzard Friday night.

Here is the million dollar question with this story. If this was a real cop would he have arrested this kid for hitting him with a snowball? I don’t think so. I think it was just because it was a campus cop. Because campus cops need to fight for every inch of respect they can get. A real cop can probably laugh it off. Be like what the hell….it’s a blizzard, I’m in the middle of a snowball fight. I’ll live. But not a campus cop. They are so insecure about the fact that they aren’t real cops that they need to smash your face into the snow and cuff you just to prove they can.

PS – Got to love the hardos wearing ski goggles to a snowball fight

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 10:05 AM

And the Pussification of America Continues: Lehigh Student Suing The School For 1.3 Million Dollars Over Getting A C+ - Megan Thode isn’t the first Lehigh University student who was unhappy with the grade she received in a course. But she may be the first to sue to get it changed. The C+ that Thode was given scuttled her dream of becoming a licensed professional counselor and was part of an effort to force her out of the graduate degree program she was pursuing, said her lawyer, Richard J. Orloski, whose lawsuit seeks $1.3 million in damages. Thode, the daughter of well-known Lehigh finance professor Stephen Thode, was attending the Bethlehem school tuition-free in 2009 when she received the poor mark in her field work class. But instead of working to address her failings, she “lawyered up” and demanded a better grade, Hamburg said.

“She has to get through the program. She has to meet the academic standards,” Hamburg said. She needed a B to take the next course of her field work requirement. Orloski said she would have received that grade but for the zero in classroom participation that she was awarded by her teacher, Amanda Carr. Hamburg and Michael Sacks, another Lehigh lawyer, said that while Thode may have looked like a good student on paper, she was not ready to move on. They said Thode showed unprofessional behavior that included swearing in class and, on one occasion, having an outburst in which she began crying.

With Thode on the witness stand Monday, Sacks underscored that Lehigh paid Thode’s freight — not just as a graduate student, but as an undergraduate at York College of Pennsylvania — because her father is a professor. Sacks also said the university set her up with jobs over the course of her attendance. “Even after you sued Lehigh, you were getting free tuition and working for Lehigh?” Sacks asked. “Yes,” Thode acknowledged.

The $1.3 million she is seeking represents the difference in her earning power over her career if she was instead a state certified counselor, according to Orloski.

There are balls and then there are big old balls.  This chick has giganto balls.  I mean she’s on full scholarship.  Her dad is a professor at Lehigh.  Yet despite all this she’s still suing the school 1.3 million because she got a C+.   Just no regard for human life whatsoever.  And guess what?  I ain’t mad at her for it either.  Yeah usually I hate shit like this, but fuck it.  Lehigh and schools administrators in general have nobody to blame but themselves for this shit.  They are the ones who have created this “everybody is a a winner society”   Coddling kids until they literally think it’s against the law not to give em what they want.   You made your bed now you got to sleep in it.

PS – Anybody who goes to Lehigh has rocks in their head to begin with.  I visited Lehigh.  I took one look at that fucking mountain that the side of the campus sits on and was like no thanks.  Not walking up and down that shit everyday.  Peace out suckers.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 12:18 PM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Devon

Introducing Devon from Holy Cross. Holy shit this girl is hot. Kind of stunned I didn’t already know who she was. Two days. Two 10’s in a row. I’m pitching a perfect game this week. Trying to push the sun back up in the sky one last time. Congrats to Devon because she just won free tix to DCU next Friday.   

Do you know any smokes who need to get foamed for free? Send girls to [email protected]



Lupos – Wed Feb 6th – SOLD OUT

Toads BLACKOUT – Feb 7th  SOLD OUT

Philly FOAM – Feb 9th  SOLD OUT

Towson BLACKOUT – Feb 13th – Tickets On Sale Now 

Washington DC BLACKOUT – Fur Nightclub – 2/14 – BUY TICKETS 


Baltimore FOAM – Feb 16th SOLD OUT

Worcester FOAM – Feb 22nd (Tickets on Sale) 

Irving Plaza BLACKOUT Feb 23  SOLD OUT

Panama City BeachMARCH 11

Panama City BeachMARCH 18 

Springfield FOAM – April 4th (Tickets on Sale Now)

Trenton FOAM – April 5th - TICKETS ON SALE HERE 

Charlotte 4/26 – Blackout = Tickets on Sale HERE

Coastal Carolina 4/27 – Foam – Tickets on Sale HERE

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 5:59 PM

Reader Email – Hey Pres, Get Out of My Child Maltreatment Textbook

Reader Email

So I’m trying to do some studying for my psych class at URI about child maltreatment, and right on page 2: Howitzergate. Nice of the authors to throw you in with child abusers and rapists, but hey, at least they consider you “popular”. No such thing as bad publicity right?

Viva la Stool


p.s. If for some reason you are curious, the book is called Child Maltreatment 3rd edition by Cindy Miller-Perrin and Robin Perrin. Think these broads might be familiar with KO Barstool?


What the fuck?  The other people mentioned on this page murdered little kids or raped em.   I made a joke that Ben Brady had a big cock for an infant and he fucking did.  It’s a compliment and it was funny.  How did I end up on the same page as these people?   Fucking everybody out to get the blogfather.   Seriously would it have killed them to at least mention that tickets are on sale for the Blackout Tour?   Whatever.  Haters gonna hate…Pageviews gonna Slate.


By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 11:45 AM

I Love How Chicks That Are Constantly Aroused Is News Worthy


DM Living in a state of permanent sexual arousal might not sound like such a bad deal for many of us, but for Amanda Gryce, 22, it’s no laughing matter. The 22-year-old says her life is being ruined by constant multiple orgasms which can be triggered by just about anything imaginable, including loud music, car journeys and even ringing mobile phones. And it can happen absolutely anywhere – when she’s with her friends and even while she’s at work as a sales associate in a baby products shop. Amanda sometimes has to masturbate up to 15 times in one day to get relief. ‘I can have 50 orgasms in one day and five or ten within an hour of each other. It happens when I’m with my friends or out in public and it’s very embarrassing.  ‘It kills me inside. I just have to put on a smile and pretend that nothing’s wrong. ‘Orgasms are supposed to be a good feeling but I’ve had them every day for so long now that I’m living with constant fear and shame.’

This chick can go fuck herself. Wahh I can get turned on by music and cars and vibrating things in my pocket. Welcome to our world, sweetheart. Chicks complain it’s so tough to be a woman because of equality and child birth but when one chick gets turned on as often as any middle schooler in the world they run to the press.Omg I have to masturbate 15 times a day!!!Sweetheart sometimes I bang that out before I take my morning piss.

You think we like it? Being these one track minded animals who can’t focus on anything but their next nut? No, it’s torture. But we deal with it because we’re men. We tuck our dicks up into our belt and pretend our nuts aren’t filled with more yogurt than a tub of Chobani. It’s not easy being us. But we don’t run to the media to bitch and moan either. We see a Wake Up gallery? We want to jerk off. Random spank bank image? We want to jerk off. If the fucking ottoman gives us a lustful eye then we want to jerk off. If you cum 50 times a day all you need to worry about is being happy and having a nice glow to you. We have our lineage to worry about. We spray more kids than a fire hydrant in the ghetto on a hot summer’s day. Gotta worry about our boys being able to swim in the deep end without a pair of floaties. So you think you live in fear and shame? Think how worried I am that in 10 years I gotta tell my dad he doesn’t get grandkids because I liked to jerkoff and surf the internet with my computer in my lap.

By feitelberg posted February 12th, 2013 at 1:48 PM

Does This Look Like the Face of Larry Bird’s Kid Who Tried To Run Over His Girlfriend?


WMUR - This Bird is definitely not the word. Connor Bird, the 21-year-old son of NBA Hall of Famer Larry Bird, was arrested on Sunday after a dispute with his former girlfriend ended with him allegedly attempting to hit her with his car on the Indiana University campus, according to multiple reports. He also allegedly had marijuana in his possession.IU police chief Keith Cash told the Indianapolis Star that police had a witness to the incident and that Bird faces charges of battery with injury, criminal mischief, intimidation with a deadly weapon and marijuana possession. The Star reports that police said the trouble began at Bird’s Bloomington, Ind., apartment where the two argued. He allegedly threw a cell phone at her during the dispute. Bird then went to the alleged victim’s home and waited for her. The two ended up in his car in a parking lot on campus where, police said, another argument ensued. The woman got out of the car to walk home when Bird is accused of trying to hit her with his car twice.


Imagine the arrogance, the wonderful arrogance of a man who gets in an argument with his girlfriend and can either drive away or can run her over with his car. Has the time to do either one, and says, let’s roll the dice.  Listen I absolutely hate when people use the “Do You Know Who I Am?” routine with cops.  But if ever anybody could use it in the history of the world it’s got to be Larry Bird’s kid in Indiana.    Like I feel as though he should be able to rape, pillage and plunder at will.   I mean he is Larry Bird’s kid after all.


By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 1:28 PM

This Chick Just Got Dominated Worse Than Any Human I’ve Ever Seen Get Dominated In My Life



Sarah is one BAD bitch. Like I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a chick get dominated like that before. Just dragged all over West Hollywood like a rag doll. Literally like a rag doll. I mean switch that chick in the blue dress with a life size raggity ann doll and it’s the same fucking thing. Same exact. No fight. No resistance. Just getting dragged and humiliated like a bitch.

PS – Free Ball Don’t Lie shirt to anybody who can tell me why I’m kind of hard right now?  That makes no sense.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Shit Is Getting Real In Southie



Fucking Southie and their dumb ass parking rules.   If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times.  NOBODY should be allowed to save spots in the street.  It’s crazy town.  I don’t care if you shoveled out or not.  You don’t own that spot.  It’s a fucking street spot.  If somebody parks in your spot that means they came from another spot that is now open. Like these cars aren’t coming from mars.  Everybody had to shovel out.  Everytime somebody takes a new spot that means an old one opened up.  It’s just common sense. Now I’m not saying I’d steal somebody’s spot in Southie because Southie people got nothing better to do than stab you over it, but the whole system is ridiculous.  Where are Southie people going anyways?  I thought  Southie people didn’t leave Southie in the first place?   What are they saving their spot to go to PS coffee?





By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 5:33 PM

Who Gives A Shit About the SI Swimsuit Issue Anymore?


I think I’ve written this blog the last 5 years about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue and I’m re-writing it again because our search engine sucks and I can never find anything I’ve written before which is frustrating as hell. Anyway as far as I’m concerned the SI Swimsuit issue is the most over-rated, antiquated event of the year. Like yeah this was a big deal when I was 12 years old learning how my dick worked and jerking off to Christie Brinkley and shit. But now with the advent of the internet and free porn who gives a shit? Who wants to look at photoshopped and airbrushed pictures of chicks? If I want to look at pictures of Kate Upton I can google her and have a zillion pictures at my fingertips. But honestly I’d rather look at our smokeshow galleries 1 million percent of the time. Real candids of real girls. Yet every year it seems people still freak out about it. Why? It makes no sense. The only way SI could keep me interested is if they used all chicks like Michele Jenneke. Girls that aren’t professional models and made videos of them. This video I can watch. But other than that who cares?


PS – Although I will say if I did still care about the SI swimsuit issue I’d be walking to Congress right now to protest Nina Agdul not being on the cover. That has to be one of the great screwjobs of our generation. Kate Upton is yesterday’s news. Nina Agdul runs circles around her. Obviously politics, foul play and sleeping with the editor must have been involved. There is just no rational explanation for how anybody with a brain could have picked Upton over Agdul this year. Right here. This is the cover….Boom done.


By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 11:13 AM

KO Barstool Chicks Don’t Even Know How To Insult Me Right


So I took a picture with yesterday’s smokeshow at Lupos and when I went to put her gallery together I noticed the picture was on her wall. I almost puked looking at myself. No way I can be this hideous looking in real life right?  I mean nice face bro. And to make matters worse there was a chick from KO Barstool just obliterating me. Saying how her Women’s studies class which is obviously all KO sluts were saying how I was the antichrist and shit. But honestly it shows you how stupid KO Barstool chicks are. Like all this slut had to do was say “ew, look how ugly he is” and she wins. I would have been instantly crippled. A broken man. But nope. She didn’t even mention it. Just rambled on about shit that I know makes no sense.  Stupid KO chicks.  Don’t even know how to hurt me yet.

PS -  I’ll say the same thing I’ve said to every feminist group who has ever gotten their hairy armpits in a bunch over me. I’ll show up to debate you anytime, anyplace, anywhere. It’s real easy to sound like you know what you’re talking about in a classroom filled with crazy bitches all drinking the feminist Koolaid and nobody there to give a differing point of view.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 5:02 PM

I Need To Chime In On This If You Were Stuck 10 Years In A Basement For 10 Million Dollars What Would You Take With You Scenario

So KFC and Mo blogged this hypothetical scenario earlier…

You are being forced to spend the next 10 years of your life in a basement. After those 10 years, you will receive $10 mil. Your basement comes fully furnished with a good bed, sink, a toilet, a shower and a trash chute. You are also being given a bonus 30 points to spend on items/amenities that you can take with you to your basement. BONUS BONUS: If you half your $10 mil payout to $5 mil, you will receive 35 points to spend. If you reduce your payout to zero, you receive 40 points.


Editors Note:   Feitleberg wrote this blog. I haven’t seen what the other bloggers did, but Feitleberg is an idiot.  I refuse to let his dumb ass answers be confused for mine.   This is how you do it.  No debate.  This is it.   You take 35 points and collect 5 million instead of 10.

Hot chick to fuck -  18 points

TV – 7 pts

Gourmet Chef 9 points

Total 34 points spent.  Duh. Done.  Perfect score.  I guess I’ll take the pool table to so I can bend over the hot chick and fuck her on it too.  Mogul style.   If you want to stop reading feel free, because the rest is idiotic.



Both KFC and Mo are willing to sacrifice half of their winnings because they want some totally pointless shit. Mo wants to go over the allotted 30 points because he wants a library. Who are you trying to impress dude? There is literally no one else down there. No one to try and sound all intellectual in front of talking about your fucking books. KFC is going over just so he can spend 7 points on Barry Bonds. Dude is willing to pay $500,000 a year just to be in the same room as Barry Bonds. Absolutely crazy.

What you need is this:

Full Kitchen (6 points): I love good food. But I never cook it because I never have the time or the energy. Lock me up in a basement for 10 years with a bunch of Cuisinarts and a stocked pantry and I’ll be whipping up dishes that make Emeril’s food taste as bland as Natalie Portman’s pussy (I bet Natalie Portman has a wicked boring pussy. I’d kill my mom to hook up with Portman but I still jut get the feeling it’s very nondescript.)

Weight Room (5 points): Full kitchen with all kinds of healthy shit and a bunch of weights? I’ll come out of this hole looking like a fucking Adonis. Then I’ll bang all the 18 year old smokes I want because I’ll be a ripped millionaire who didn’t have to go crazy living with an 18 year old chick for 10 years. You know how you’re always like “oh if I went to prison I’d just get ripped”? Well this is the same thing but with less broomsticks shoved up your ass.

Skylight (2 points): Need my Vitamin D son. Don’t want to come out of my hole all pale and pasty. Seen Homeland? Brody was U-G-L-Y.

TV (7 points):  All the cable channels and all the premium packages. It’s perfect. Don’t need any movies or books or anything. Got everything I need with premium cable. I’ll just wait the extra few years when a good book comes out. Wait for them to make a movie then wait for the movie to come on video then wait for HBO. All in all it will be about 3 or 4 years of waiting but I never have to worry about spoilers because I LIVE IN A FUCKING HOLE.

Tobacco (4 points): this one was hard because it was between drugs booze and dip. Dip wins in the end because if I’m bored all I do is dip and I have a feeling I’d be bored a lot over that decade. Plus I’m not a hardcore alcoholic. Drinking by myself isn’t fun. I’m a social drinker who’s very social. I got not need to be swilling whiskey by myself in a dark room. And drugs? I guess pills would be fun and I could just Rip van Winkle my 10 year bid but that would get in the way of my intense training program I’d be doing there. Tins it is.

Hygiene (3 points): I like my own crotch rot as much as the next guy but you can only put up with it for so long before infections and general uncomfortableness become an issue.

And that’s it. 27 points. Yeah I’m leaving 3 points on the table. Know why? Because fuck him, that’s why.

I could have taken a cellphone but I don’t like talking to people so I really don’t see the need for it. I go months without talking to my friends all the time. What’s a decade? Half probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone. I could have a doctor but I already mentioned that I’ll be getting shredded so what do I need him for? To tell me what great shape I’m in? No thanks, got a mirror for that. A garden with a greenhouse? Listen just because I said living with an 18 year old girl would drive me insane doesn’t mean I’m going to be all gay and gardening and shit. I don’t want any of that. Just give me what I asked for and take your three extra points and shove them up your ass.

And have my 10 million waiting when I get out. Big check. Gilmore style. Or else I’ll have to flex on you.




By feitelberg posted February 12th, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Jack Edwards Reacts To Noseface Sending The B’s Game To OT



I think I speak for everybody when I say this is why I love Jack Edwards.   Because he’s just a fan like everybody else.   He’s not like the sports talk radio guys who thumb their noses at fans who care too much.  He’s not like Shank who openly roots against the teams he covers.  Jack Edwards bleeds Black and Gold and it shows everytime you watch a Bruins game..   That’s all I ask for from the local sports journalists.  Make me believe you care as much as I do.

By elpresidente posted February 12th, 2013 at 11:06 PM
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