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Kate Upton’s Tits Hit The Web

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NSFW pic here

NSFW gif here

 

Well ever since TMZ reported these pics it’s all anyone has talked about. Gotta see Upton’s tits, gotta see Upton’s tits, gotta see Upton’s tits. Well, here they are. Big and round and perfect. Do your happy dance.

 

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By feitelberg posted June 24th, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Conservatively Speaking At Least 26 People Showed Up For the Heat Parade Today

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The only good thing about the Heat winning the title is you don’t have to listen to any of their obnoxious fans gloat because they have no fans.   So we got that working for us.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 12:29 PM

When It Motherfucking Rains It Pours….

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Of course Lebron had to chime in.  Of course he did.  Is this motherfucker a fan of every team that wins in the history of the world?  Fucking hate this guy so much.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 11:25 PM

Do I Look Fucking Scared Live Blog?

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I know all the pinkhats have probably jumped shit by now.  Tucked away their precious little pink hats for the summer.   Good. Fuck em.  Who needs em.  Anybody who thought this series was going to be easy just doesn’t know anything about playoff hockey.  Chicago has a great team.   I knew they’d push us to the edge.  Just like the Canucks did in 2011.  And what happened to them?  We burned their city to the ground.   That’s what happened.  Games like these are when the Bruins are at their best.  When their backs are against the wall. So like I’ve said from day 1 of this series.  It’s going to be B’s in 7.   Let’s do this thing!

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 7:23 PM

Aaron Carter Got Jumped In Boston Last Night By New Kids on the Block Fans

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TMZ – Aaron Carter is sporting a shiner he claims he got from 4 grown men who were pissed he’s performing on “New Kids on the Block” turf … aka Boston. Aaron, who posted some gnarly selfies after the fight, tells TMZ he was leaving dinner with a friend last night in beantown, when a huge guy approached him in the parking lot and yelled: “I heard you’re doing a show here tomorrow. This is the town of the New Kids.” Aaron claims three other guys then jumped out of a gold Chevy Malibu … and started the beat down, which came complete with a shot to his face. Aaron says he’s performing as scheduled tonight, and he’s not filing a police report because it’s “girlie.”

Motherfucking right! Our town bitch! You don’t come rolling into the Lion’s Den/NKOTB turf like you own the joint and not to get your ass whooped. Aaron Carter is just lucky he didn’t bump into me in a dark alley last night. A black eye would have been the least of his problems. I would have fucked that pretty boy up. NKOTB or die bitch.  The Original Boy Band indeed…

 

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By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Paulina Gretzky In Her German Wench Outfit Is Pure Unadulterated Rape Culture City

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Rape Culture City to the Max!  I would rip those ponytails right off her head in a good way.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 4:30 PM

So The Producer of Karlson And McKensie Radio Show Tweeted That I Stole The Marathon Money Yesterday

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So yesterday the producer of the Karlson and McKensie Radio show Braden Moriarty came out of the woodwork and basically said I stole all the marathon money.  Naturally I didn’t take it to kindly and neither did the Stoolies.   Within about 30 minutes he had deleted his tweet and was begging for mercy with a series of pathetic apologies.  Too late bro.  This is exactly why I was so pissed the other day when I ranted and raved about all the donation shit.   I know that Stoolies are busting balls.   That doesn’t bother me, but what people got to understand is that there are just as many people that hate Barstool as there are that love it. Feminists, jealous people, all waiting to take their shot at the crown.   This fucker obviously hates that we’re successful.   But since he  can’t beat us fair and square he just made shit up.

Why did I feel the need to blog it?  Because  Karlson and McKensie is on a CBS owned radio station. I can’t have them  running around blatantly spreading lies about me.  Especially lies as viscous as this. Because if you’re not a Stoolie you’ll believe it’s the truth.  Why wouldn’t you?   Like who would make this up?  That I’m fucking stealing money from the Marathon victims.  That’s why I owe it to Braden Moriarty to bury him. I’m not doing it for me.  I’m doing it for America.  So people can’t just make up shit and get away with it.  Not on my watch.   Look man tell me you hate me because I made fun of Ben Brady’s huge hog, tell me my humpback neck makes you puke,  but don’t you fucking dare insinuate that I’m not going to donate the marathon money to charity.   That’s how motherfuckers get internet steamrolled.  Choo! Choo!  Davey Pageviews Express coming through!  Choo! Choo!

 

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Wally The Dog Who Won The 2013 Ugliest Dog Contest Got SCREWED

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Past 3 Ugliest Dog Winners

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I’m not even going to pretend to understand what is going on here. I mean in what world is Wally considered an ugly dog? What was he even doing in this contest in the first place? Dude is cute as fuck and he’s got a hammer to boot. There is no chance he doesn’t lay pipe. No chance. I just don’t get it. Like there has to be something more I don’t know. I mean look at the past winners. Now those are some ugly dogs. But Wally? Dude is handsome as fuck. This has inside job written all over it. Mistakes like this just don’t happen in the World’s Ugliest Dog contest. Somebody got rich in Vegas. You can damn well guarantee that.

PS – If they had a cutest dog contest this dog would win hands down.  Minpin city.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 4:00 PM

What Would Happen If Nomar Faced Pedro In Their Prime?

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Vs.

 

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I meant to ask Nomar this question when I throttled him in pop a shot last week. What would happen if Nomar faced Pedro in both their primes. I’m taking Pedro throwing 140mph’s like he did in the all star game when his arm fell off vs. Nomar the year he hit 372 with 21 HR’s. I’m sure the kneejerk reaction is to say Pedro wins that matchup. After all he did strike out the side on like 2 pitches. But I think people forget just how good Nomar was in his prime.  Like when Nomar was right the only way to get him out was to have him hit a line drive that got lodged in the CF’s brain. He was by far the best hitter in the game and the best hitter I ever saw. But on the flip side Pedro was the most dominant pitcher I’ve ever seen.  Therefore I think the answer is that Nomar hits .279 vs. Pedro in his prime. A full .200 points better than anybody else would be capable of.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I Think Pat Tomasulo from WGN Who Keeps Trying To “Punk” Bruins Fans May Be The Biggest Squid On the Planet

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(It’s an autoplay video so click to watch)

So a bunch of people sent me this video of this squid from WGN in Chicago Pat Tomasulo walking around Boston pretending to be carrying the Stanley Cup. He puts NHL stickers on the case and had 2 guys dressed up like the guys who carry it. And guess what? Some people were like is that the Cup? HOLY SHIT! YOU GOT US DAWG! YOU FUCKING ROCK DUDE! FUCKING HILARIOUS!  Honestly how did you do it? I mean you pretended to be carrying the Cup and then some people asked if it was the Cup. Next level stuff! The only thing that was better than this stunt was when before Game 2 he walked around Boston and gave people Blackhawk towels. Boom Roasted! Say what you want about those kooky Midwesterners but they don’t fuck around when it comes to practical jokes. Larry David who?

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 5:00 PM

Jim Carrey Trashes “Kick Ass 2″ Which He Stars In Before It Even Comes Out Because Of Gun Violence

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Foxnews - Jim Carrey isn’t joking around. The comedic actor withdrew his support for his upcoming film “Kick-Ass 2,” explaining that he can’t stand behind the movie’s violent themes.“I did Kickass [sic] a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence,” he tweeted on Sunday, referring to the shootings that killed 20 children and six adults at a Connecticut elementary school last December. “My apologies… to others involve[d] with the film. I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart.”The movie, which will head to theaters this summer, is a sequel to the 2010 flick “Kick-Ass,” based off of a comic book by the same name.

You know what Jim Carrey is? He’s a classic hipster doofus. Hey Jim I got a question for you. Did you give back any the money you were paid to be in this movie? No? Then shut your fucking face. Like imagine if you were the director or the studio behind this movie? You pay this guy miillions of dollars to be in it and then he boycotts his own movie? Tells people not to see it. Total dick move. And this has nothing to do with Sandy Hook either. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions.. But don’t sit there on your high horse with money coming out your asshole while you trash the very thing that you just got paid for.  Puke city.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Diehard Chicago Fans Are Gearing Up For Games 6 And 7

 

Wait did Brad say he wants the cup to come back to Toronto?   He did say Toronto right?   And how about the other idiot saying he can’t wait for Games 6 and 7?   Typical Midwestern hicks.  I’ve never been more confident about anything in my life.  B’s in 7 just like I’ve said all along.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 9:30 AM

To Say New England Fans Are In Torrey Smith’s Head Would Be An Understatement

 

 

 

 

 

Hahahaha! Wahhh a few Pats fans made fun of my dead brother a few months ago so now I hate everything about New England except Kevin Garnett! Wahhhhh!! Hysterical. Torrey Smith’s head has tenants and they’re all from Boston. I mean it’s June right now. The Ravens won the Super Bowl last season. His summer should be nothing but partying and celebrating being world champs. But what’s on his mind? New England. Pretty incredible feeling. Even when the Pats don’t win the Super Bowl they’re all anyone in the NFL can think about. They’re that ominous shadow always lurking. Doesn’t matter if you’re a Super Bowl champ, you know they’re the king and might shoot you execution style at any moment.

 

PS – I have an incredible disdain for people who don’t drink that aren’t recovering alcoholics. It’s wildly irrational but they’re my least favorite people in the world. Grow up and have a fucking beer dude.

By feitelberg posted June 24th, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Team Pizza Does It Again….Saves A Suicidal Man From Jumping Off A Bridge

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PostandCourier – A suicidal man who threatened to jump off the Ravenel Bridge is now in custody, Mount Pleasant police Maj. Stan Gragg said. He was apprehended five hours after the situation began and shortly after authorities provided him with a pizza for lunch.

Pizza never ceases to amaze me. Like honestly what can’t pizza do? Guy has been standing on the edge of a bridge for 5 hours getting ready to jump.  The best hostage negotiators and psychologists in the city have been pleading with him and nothing is getting through.  So what do the cops do?  They wave a hot pie in front of him and bingo bango that’s the end of that.  Bottomline is I don’t care how crazy you are nobody is crazy enough to kill themselves with a fresh pizza staring them in the face.  I’d love to see a burrito do that. No chance. No how.

PS – I’ve never understood why it’s a police issue to prevent somebody from committing suicide in the first place. If you want to kill yourself knock yourself out.  I’m not gonna waste a slice on your sorry ass. Just don’t injure anybody else and you got the green light from me. Seems like committing suicide should be a first amendment right.

 

 

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 2:33 PM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Anna

 

Introducing Anna from Umass Lowell. Another day and another smoke winning tickets to any Blackout her little heart desires. Both Boston and AC are about 3 weeks away. Also we’ve announced Worcester and our biggest Providence show ever for September. Don’t you love it when a place comes together?

Click here for all dates and ticket info for the biggest traveling party in the United States….

 

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By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 5:35 PM

I’m Not Sure You Can Get Cuckholded Worse Than Paulie Malignaggi Did After Losing His Belt To Adrien Broner Saturday Night

 

I know Kmarko already posted this. Well I’m posting it too. The old “I took his belt and I took his woman” line. The absolute pinnacle of talking trash. And on the other side of the spectrum the absolute worst response in the history of trash talking by Paulie Malignaggi. Listen bro it doesn’t matter if he stole your wife and planted a baby in her. You can’t acknowledge anything in that situation. You got to plead the 5th. Just act like you don’t even know what he’s talking about. Like this is an absolute non story if Malignaggi doesn’t grab the mic and say it wasn’t his girlfriend he stole it was his side piece. That legitimized the entire story. Cuckhold city.

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 10:51 AM

Anthony Kiedis Gets Put In A Headlock Trying To Get Into the Four Seasons

 

GawkerFootage captured by paparazzi stationed outside shows Kiedis and a female companion approaching the hotel, where he was staying at the time, before being abruptly turned away by the bodyguard. After some back and forth, Kiedis can be seen shoving the man, triggering an all-out brawl. The hotel released a statement saying the guards involved in the incident “are not employees of Four Seasons, nor were they hired by the Hotel for any reason.”According to TMZ, the guard is not officially a Rolling Stones employee either, but may have been hired by the Stones’ security detail to beef up protection in Philly. Either way, Kiedis is apparently over the whole thing, issuing his own statement saying, simply, “I love the Rolling Stones.”

 

I’m not gonna lie. I was kind of expecting more from Tone here. At the very least I was waiting for Warlock to pop out of the trees or something and go bananas. Nope. Nothing. Anthony Kiedis pushes the guy and 2 seconds later he was in a headlock. Just no answers. Disappointing to say the least.  What a waste of time….

 

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By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 3:00 PM

What In the Fuck Just Happened?

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Umm what just happened?  Like one minute I was getting ready to publish a gif of Rene Rancourt doing 4 fist pumps wondering whether Menino was going to open the Garden for Game 7 and the next minute we lost.  Very confusing.  There is still a Game 7 right?

Seriously if anybody can explain what just happened I’d appreciate it.  The rant line is open 617. 394.8482 (VIVA)

 

By elpresidente posted June 24th, 2013 at 10:58 PM
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