Goosebump city. My only critique is that the soundtrack should have been Bittersweet by Big Head Todd and the Monsters. That would have been perfect. Another song that I sing better than 99% of people on earth by the way but that’s neither here nor there.
PS – If this was Vancouver the flames would still be burning.
This commercial has been bothering me for a month now. Every time I see it I get confused/mad. Like is this dude seriously bragging about this shit? Yeah no shit you got 15 goals in 15 seconds dude. You play in the NHL. You’re a fucking professional hockey player. I mean fuck it. I’m a professional blogger and I guarantee you I can get 15 goals in 15 seconds. Anybody can do it. And just to prove I’m not full of shit I went out and gave it a whirl. Broken neck and all. That’s just what I do. Keep motherfuckers honest.
PS – Huge shoutout to the guys at ProEvolution Hockey for giving me the ice time. If you want your kids to learn how to shoot like I did sign up for summer camps with my guys at ProEvolution Hockey” www.proevolutionhockey.com
It has to stop. We got a million of these emails yesterday. Emailers all being like “Unreal. Best I’ve seen yet, hahaha.” Who the fuck finds this funny? Knock it off. “He went into jail a tight end and came out a wide receiver” is not even a dad joke, it’s an elementary school playground joke. I’m actually embarrassed that I even have to say this. But if you’ve made a single fucking “tight end” joke in that last day then you’re the worst human being alive. You’re the kind of guy who likes his own Facebook status and makes fun of someone then asks for high fives from his buddies and thinks everything he says is super funny and original. Fucking stop. I’ve never banned a single commenter but I swear to God anyone making tight end jokes, or Longest Yard jokes for that matter, will be DOA. It’s such low-hanging fruit and so overplayed that it’s actually disgusting and makes me physically ill. You’re the worst.
The only way these guys could be grosser if they had something outrageous like man boobs or something. Ugh. They look like such perfect examples of weird, disgusting Europeans. Doughy body, probably haven’t showered in a few days, SOCKS ON A BOAT! They’re real life McPoyle Brothers. Probably shower together, drink milk and fuck their sister below deck. Fucking foreigners.
So by now everybody knows that my man Aaron Hernandez has re-written the book on how NOT to commit murder. Just the absolute worst murderer who has ever played the game. My question is what do you think his dumbest move was? Was it him picking up the victim in a rental car he rented under his name? Was it him killing the dude a mile from his house? Was it him returning the rental car with shell casing in it? Was it him carrying the gun back to his house and getting caught on his own surveillance cameras waving the murder weapon around? Or was it him proceeding to break his cell phone and surveillance equipment but not really breaking it? Just start to finish an absolute tour de force in how not to murder a guy.
I guess of all the things he did wrong the one that gets me the most is I still don’t get how he just left the body there? That makes ZERO sense to me. It’s not like he shot him in a different state. Hernandez basically shot him in his kitchen. Like his neighbors heard the gun shots. For all we know he left a little video of himself making it rain over the body. Just surreal ineptitude to the point I’m not even sure you can call it ineptitude anymore. It’s almost like he wanted to be caught.
My only conclusion is that Hernandez is brain dead. Not even joking. I mean I’ve never killed a bro before, but I promise you this. If I do I’m not going to kill him where I live and just leave him there and hope for the best. That’s rookie ball. Throw him in a river. Bury him. Kill him in Dorchester on Blue Hill Ave and make it seem random. But don’t go to your upscale neighborhood and execute him gangland style in your driveway and leave him there. That’s going to get you caught 1 million out of 1 million times. Murder 101 really.
Military Times – Rep. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill, lost her legs and the use of her right arm as a helicopter pilot in Iraq in 2004. She was awarded a Purple Heart for her combat injuries. Braulio Castillo broke his foot in a prep school injury nearly three decades ago at the U.S. Military Preparatory School, which he attended for nine months before playing football in college. He owns a technology business certified as a service-disabled, veteran-owned company eligible for government set aside contracts. The two met at a House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing Wednesday in an exchange neither will forget anytime soon. For background, what brought them together was a months-long House probe into whether Castillo’s company won IRS contracts thanks, in part, to help from a top contracting official and friend inside the IRS named Greg Roseman, who pleaded the Fifth Amendment when called to testify.While much of the hearing delved into questions about Roseman and Castillo’s friendship, lawmakers from both parties wondered aloud how a prep school injury suffered so long ago could result in Castillo’s company getting special set aside contract status from the government at a time when so many injured veterans are looking for work. But among hours of testimony, Duckworth’s questioning of Castillo stood out.
AMAZING. I’ve never heard of Tammy Duckworth before, but she just won my vote for President. I mean this is how you eviscerate somebody. Just complete and total annihilation. Like I literally had a smile ear to ear by the time this was over. The only thing that could have made this better is if Tammy walked up to this scumbag and shot him in the foot at the end of this rant. You think your foot hurts now? Well this is what real pain is. Too bad you can’t do that in this nancy country of ours. Everything has to be so political. But nobody in the history of earth has deserved to have their foot blown off more than this clown claiming disability for getting hurt playing football in high school. Such a joke.
By elpresidente posted June 27th, 2013 at 11:32 AM
Sun Sentinal - Detectives are hot on the trail of four women they say are part of a ring of bar-hopping temptresses who go home with men they meet at upscale bars, drug them and steal their money, high-end watches, credit cards, cellphones and other valuables.Broward sheriff’s detectives have obtained arrest warrants and released photos of the four women identified as: Subhanna Beyah, 25, Johnnina Miller, 25, Keshia Clark, 27, and Ryan Elkins, 23.”We need to locate these women,” said Dani Moschella, a sheriff’s spokeswoman. “They are dangerous. In May, detectives released a composite sketch and publicly warned men: “Watch out for Crystal.” Police say she ripped off a 45-year-old Pompano Beach man after meeting him March 2 at an upscale Fort Lauderdale restaurant.At his place, Crystal served him a vodka cocktail. When he awoke the next afternoon he was missing $6,000 cash and four watches valued at nearly $100,000. Crystal’s contact information had even been deleted from his cellphone.
I don’t even know what we’re talking about here. These chicks are praying on wealthy men at upscale bars? These four? Are you sure it was these four? Like was there a mix up in the graphics department or something? I mean look at these fucking chicks! Disgusting city! The whole point of having money and being rich is so you don’t have to deal with pigs like this. Like if you have 6K worth of cash on you and 4 watches worth 100K and you are even in the same zip code as any of these creatures you are seriously doing something wrong with your life. Wake up and learn how to buy hot bitches.
BOSTON (MyFoxBoston.com) — FOX 25 has learned exclusively that investigators are looking into Aaron Hernandez as a possible suspect in a double murder that happened on July 16, 2012 in downtown Boston. According to the Boston Police blog from that date, officers responded to the intersection of Shawmut Avenue and Herald Street just after 2 a.m. When they arrived, they found three people had been shot, two fatally, as they sat in a car at a traffic light.The men were identified as Safiro Furtado and Daniel Abreu. The FOX 25 source said the men, who worked at a cleaning company in Dorchester, had just left a bar in the area.The source said that investigators were looking into Aaron Hernandez’s connection to the killing.
I’ve had it with this motherfucking Aaron Hernandez killing people on this motherfucking plane! Seriously though does it even matter if you’ve killed multiple people once you’ve killed one person? I don’t think it does. Once you break the seal it’s all downhill from there. 1,10,100. A murderer is a murderer is a murderer.
By elpresidente posted June 27th, 2013 at 10:34 AM
That fat kid has to be dead by now right? Not because of the injuries he suffered during the fight but rather because Thai people take their Muay Thai boxing real serious. Like real serious. So I don’t know how this kid goes back to his village after getting whomped on by a girl like that. Didn’t even throw a punch. Just started crying for the ref to stop it. Dude you outweigh her by 200 pounds. Get on the inside and fight. Just a total disgrace to his family. His father has to murder him now. It’s the only way for the family to restore honor to their name. I’m not even exaggerating. I’m sure he’s dead.
By elpresidente posted June 27th, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Fucking Fall River huh? How stupid are these morons? Hey assholes why are you cheering for him? Let’s forget the fact he killed a guy for a second. Do you know what happens if he beats the rap? He’ll go play for the Ravens and shove it up our asshole every year. The Pats are done with him forever regardless of whether he’s found guilty or not. Murder is not the Patriot way. Hell the Pats fucking blocked him on twitter. For real. There is no mending fences once you’ve been twitter blocked. So stop cheering for him like dickheads. He better damn well get convicted or else we’re fucked. Not only would he have gotten away with murder but we’ll be playing against him on Sundays. Wake up.
(StarPulse) – Justin Bieber was spotted getting close and comfortable with a new girl. Only one problem: She could be married. E! Online reported earlier in the week Bieber and a blonde woman, later identified as Jordan Ozuna (picture below), had a date at Las Vegas Indoor Skydiving. A source details, “In the waiting room area, she was sitting on his lap and they were kissing. Little pecks and kisses.”That’s not the only trouble Bieber could be getting into, however. Jordan’s mother-in-law told Celebuzz she’s married, although she has been separated from her husband for almost a year. “They’re probably in the process of getting divorced,” says the mother-in-law. Jordan married a man named Daniel right out of high school, but the two parted ways before Daniel went off to serve in the Coast Guard. Jordan’s mother-in-law wasn’t quite sure on the details, but she knows Jordan went to Vegas to pursue a modeling career and hasn’t heard of an official separation.
Why does Bieber get to fuck this chick? Because he’s Bieber and you’re not. It’s really that simple. Any questions?
(CNN) — Aaron Hernandez, the former NFL tight end charged with murder in the death last week of an acquaintance, is now being investigated in connection with a double homicide in Boston’s South End in July 2012… What is known is that the Boston Police Department has located and impounded a silver SUV with Rhode Island registration that police have been trying to find for almost a year, which is linked to the scene of a double homicide in 2012, the source said. Investigators believe that Hernandez was renting the SUV at the time of those killings, the source said.
People are now saying that the guy who Hernandez killed last week had inside info about the 2 guys he killed in 2012. Well this changed everything! What was he supposed to do? He can’t have that 3rd guy running around squawking about the first 2 dudes he murdered. That’s no good. So he had no choice but to kill the 3rd guy. His hands were tied! Still doesn’t explain why he didn’t bother to hide the body or why he keeps renting murder vehicles in his name but whatever. Free Aaron Hernandez! Free Aaron Hernadez!
Every week we are going to be featuring the best pictures of life in Nantucket and other summer spots from Ack Surf. Pictures that just make you think to yourself “fuck I wish I was there? Tweet or instagram all pictures of yourself living the dream to @acksurf Or email it to [email protected] If your picture is used in the gallery you win free shit from them.
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