Harris

ColoradoTonya Harris, a 34-year-old cafeteria worker with the Falcon School District, has been jailed after she allegedly had a threesome with a student and another man during an alcohol fueled party…the case remained inactive until the department received a tip from a witness through it’s “Safe2Tell” line on August 16. The witness told police that he was in attendance at the party when Harris allegedly began having sex with an individual while “numerous individuals” watched, according to the arrest report. After the display, Harris reportedly went into her bedroom with a 17-year-old teen and a 20-year-old man and then shut the door. The witness then reportedly forced the door open and kissed another party-goer on a couch while Harris had a threesome with the student and the other male.

You go, Tonya!  Way to strike a blow for cafeteria worker justice everywhere.  You think it’s easy, watching teachers less young and attractive than you, banging students left and right while you’re forced to stand there in your hair net and latex gloves, elbow deep in American Chop Suey?  Why not her?  Why should she be forced to clean the uneaten slop off these kids’ plates and listen to them bitch about the food all day and let the teachers get all the quality hot threesome action?  So congratulations, Tonya Harris.  You are the best thing to happen to the Lunch Lady Sisterhood since Adam Sandler:

The Grades:
Looks: 
Tonya Harris is a Los Angeles 4.  She’s a Colorado 6.  A Falcon School District 7.  That makes her a High School Cafeteria Worker 10.  Judging her by the SST standard though, she gets a solid Grade: B-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: 
I’ll keep this simple: In the Sex Scandal Teacher game, a public threesome at an alcohol fueled party in front of an apartment full of people is the Royal Straight Flush.  Grade: A
Intangibles:
I’d like to shake her hand and say “Pleased to meet ya!”  Grade: B
Overall:
B
[@TomCahillane‏] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.