Jo O’Neill-McBurney in classroom

Suspended: Jo O’Neill-McBurneyJo O’Neill-McBurney dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood at a party


IrelandA former classroom assistant who allegedly made a sex tape with a Belfast schoolboy that ended up on a pornographic website could face up to five years in prison for ‘abuse of trust’ if charged and convicted. Jo O’Neill-McBurney (21), from Crumlin, Co Antrim, was suspended from St Mary’s Christian Brothers Boy’s Grammar School in west Belfast after a 30-minute sex video, featuring her and a teenager, thought to be a 16-year-old, emerged on the internet. It’s understood the footage, believed to have been recorded by the pair in April, has in recent weeks been viewed more than 6,000 times on a free website. It is not known who uploaded the graphic footage to the site. The age of consent for sexual activity in Northern Ireland is 16, however it is illegal for anyone in a position of trust to engage in sexual activity with a person under 18 years of age… A friend of Ms O’Neill-McBurney told the Sunday Life she has been left distraught by the episode. “Jo has been devastated by this,” the source said. “She has made repeated attempts to have the video removed from the website but has had no success. She is incredibly frustrated, hurt and frightened.”

A while back I saw a news segment, the gist of which was that tech companies looked into the economy of Ireland and found an intelligent, educated, motivated, but woefully underemployed work force.  So they’ve been pulling a lot of their overseas operations out of places like India and moving them to the Olde Sod.  And now for the first time since before the Potato Famine, Ireland (OK… Northern Ireland included, I guess) is seeing a net emigration and becoming an economic powerhouse before our eyes.  Well if the world needed a message that the Irish are a force to be reckoned with… that they’re coming and they’re bringing all Hell with them… this is it.  What Jo O’Neill-McBurney is nothing less than beating America at our own game.  Our National Pastime: Sex Scandal Teachering.  I mean, when was the last time we had an American teacher bringing this kind of heat?  We’ve gotten complacent.  Our teachers are acting like the world is never going to catch up to them.  And all they have to do is drop their panties and maybe take a nude text or two and stay Number One.  Meanwhile the O’Neill-McBurneys of the world are posing in Slutty Red Riding Hood costumes and posting half hour sex tapes all over the web.  So in the words of Satchel Paige, don’t look back, the Irish are gaining on you.

The Grades:
I’ve tried before to do a St. Patrick’s Day post about the Hottest Women of Ireland or something along those lines.  The reason I say “tried” is because I defy to Google search that term and find anyone blog worthy. A couple of beauty pageant winners and a Corr sister or two, but that’s about it.  I mean, search “Sweden” and you get millions of hits.  Type “Asian girls” and your hard drive will freeze.  But much to my dismay, “hot” and “Irish” just don’t compute.  By that standard, and the standard of SSTs who make sex tapes with 16 year old students, she is off the charts.  I haven’t been this proud of my people since Ireland made the Quidditch World Cup Finals in “Goblet of Fire.”  Grade: A
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
She has done nothing less than raise the Teacher Sex Tape bar to heights that were previously unimaginable.  I’m not saying I want to watch the video.  But if some enterprising commenter wants to find the link and post it, I wouldn’t object.  Grade: A
One of my favorite Irish bands are the Saw Doctors, who have a song “N-17″ that goes “Well I didn’t see much future when I left the Christian Brother’s School/ So I waved it goodbye with a wistful smile as I left the girls in Tuam.”  Tuam is my ancestral homeland. Meaning if old Thomas Thornton didn’t jump ship for Boston and just stayed put, I might have spent my formative years boning comely lasses like Jo O-M here.  As Maggie said to Danny Noonan, “Tanks fer nuttin’.”  Grade: A
A.  Easiest grade of the year and a sure fire 2013 All Star.
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.