MONTEBELLO, Calif. — A female high school Spanish teacher in Los Angeles was arrested after two male students said they had sex with her, police said Thursday. Gabriela Cortez, 42, of Montebello, was arrested late Wednesday on suspicion of two felony counts of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor… after an 18-year-old youth went to the police station last week and reported that he had a sexual relationship with her from 2008 to 2010 while he was a student at Roosevelt High School… During the interview with detectives, another student was mentioned. That student later told detectives that he also had sexual relations with Cortez at her home… The first student came forward because his conscience was bothering him.

Is there a chance on God’s green Earth that Student No. 1 “came forward because his conscience was bothering him”?  Like we’re supposed to believe that on Graduation Day, he and Gabriela had heartfelt goodbye, parted amicably, wished each other well and moved on with their lives and then a year later he said “Gee, my conscience is really bothering about that whole ‘boning my Spanish teacher’ thing.  I better get down to the station house to clear that conscience…”?  No bloody way.  Gabriela dumped him for this other kid because he was old and busted.  She’s like Annie in “Bull Durham.”  She doesn’t care about you once you move onto the Show.  And this kid couldn’t handle the fact that she was finished with his has been Crash Davis ass so he dimed out her and her new Nuke Laloosh.  For some kids, there’s just no honor among Sex Scandal Teacher “victims.”

The Grades:
Looks: Si!  Muchas gracias.  She reminds me a of MILF version of Santana from “Glee.” I’d conjugate her verbs any time.  I’d even let her force me to address her by the formal “usted” tense. Grade: B+.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: OK, we’re scant on details.  And we’re lacking the smoking gun of sexual text messages or porn pics and the like.  But confessions from two kids supports my whole “Beisbol Annie” theory.  Senorita Cortez is a serial Sex Scandal Teacher.  Grade: B+.
Intangibles: “When Cortez reached the New World, he burned his ships.  As a result, his men were motivated.”  I can’t exactly make that fit this situation.  But I love “Hunt for Red October,” so what the hell.  Grade: A.
Overall: A-. I just know Gabriela will make the end of the year team.  Hopefully it’ll be bisexual, but at least we know she’ll make it bilingual.

(Thanks to my brother Bill in Juneau.  Somewhere up there, mom and dad are proud.)
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help your fellow man by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.