Oro County, Arizona - Ironwood Ridge High School art teacher Melissa Ann Dalton admitted to having intercourse and oral sex on multiple occasions with two male students… the ninth grader told his cousin that Dalton performed oral sex on him in the back of her art room on April 27. The clothing the student was wearing that day was taken for DNA evidence, including his underwear, which he had discarded in the trashcan in his bedroom because his parents said he wanted to forget the incident ever happened. A police official said Dalton was charged with furnishing obscene or harmful items to a minor because while she performed oral sex, she had another male student in the room watching. Dalton allegedly had sex on multiple occasions with the 16-year-old student who watched the encounter with her freshman student. The student had been bragging for weeks about having sex with Dalton. Both Dalton and the student admitted that they had intercourse twice in her car, once in the classroom, and on a separate occasion in the student’s bedroom. The student told police she had driven them to a dirt road near Wilson Elementary School just before rodeo week. She proceeded to climb on top of him and they had intercourse… Students were able to describe a scar Dalton had underneath her belly button… Dalton told police the student continued to seduce her until she couldn’t say no anymore. The 16-year-old also admitted to police that Dalton had driven to his house on April 16 when his parents were out of town. According to the student’s statement, Dalton put her dog in her car so she could tell her husband he was missing at 1 a.m. She drove to the student’s house, went into his bedroom where they engaged in intercourse. The student told police that she was wearing pink lingerie under her sweat suit. Police recovered a pair of pink underwear from the student’s bedroom, and reported the top piece of the lingerie was found in her vehicle… After initially denying the incidents, after questioning, Dalton admitted that, “things went too far” with both students. Dalton, who was placed on paid administrative leave from the Amphitheater School District, told the students she needed them because her marriage wasn’t going well. According to the police, students said Dalton had also sent them multiple text messages, explicit photos and one of the students allegedly recorded her when she admitted to having sex with the 16-year-old. However, students said they had erased the data. Through assistance from a special agent with the Department of Homeland Security, a picture matching Dalton’s description was recovered from one of the phones. The photograph is of Dalton taking a picture of herself from a reflection in a bathroom mirror. In the photo, she is wearing black lingerie.

In the whole glorious history of GTNSST blogs, this might have been the hardest one to edit down I’ve ever encountered.  I mean every, single detail is an absolute gem.  Classroom beaners.  With an audience.  DNA evidence.  Identifying marks.  Identifying pink lingerie.  That cock & bull story (pun intended) she gave her husband to get out of the house in the middle of the night.  Everybody’s favorite sext picture, the Mirror Pose.  The Department of Homeland goddamned Security taking its eye off the ball in the hunt for terror plots so they could get the nude pics off the camera.  The old “the boy seduced me” alibi.  It’s all there.  I think I need to throw my underwear in the trash.

The Grades:
Normally I’m only a fan of the asschin when it’s on Kirk Douglas as Spartacus or on me.  But she is not bad.  Granted the police are doing us a disservice putting that dental x-ray bib on her.  But I’m assuming there’s a hell of a body under that thing because fatties don’t typically have the confidence to do the Mirror Pose.  Grade: B-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: What part of “admitted to having intercourse and oral sex on multiple occasions” isn’t worth a Grade: A+?
Intangibles: “Oro” is Spanish for “gold.” Solid, solid gold.  And Melissa Ann Dalton has given me Ironwood.  Grade: A.
Overall: A. See you at the end of the year, Melissa Ann.

(Thanks to @Ileg1983 and @RealZackChelo) Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help your fellow man by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.