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By elpresidente posted September 2nd, 2014 at 9:00 PM

TEST PEYTON MANNING ASAP

    What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.   If Wes got busted for Molly at least check Peyton.  Fucking Goodell playing favorites per usual.

 

 

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.   If Wes got busted for Molly at least check Peyton.  Fucking Goodell playing favorites per usual.

By elpresidente posted September 2nd, 2014 at 8:17 PM

Wes Welker Suspended 4 Games For Taking Molly at the Kentucky Derby

(Well that explains the hat at least)     NBC – Wes Welker’s good day at the Kentucky Derby turned out to be not so good. Per a league source, the banishment under the PED policy happened because Welker took MDMA, a banned substance under the substance-abuse policy, that had been cut with amphetamines, a [...]

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(Well that explains the hat at least)

 

 

NBC – Wes Welker’s good day at the Kentucky Derby turned out to be not so good. Per a league source, the banishment under the PED policy happened because Welker took MDMA, a banned substance under the substance-abuse policy, that had been cut with amphetamines, a banned substance under the PED policy.

 

Poor Wes. Guy can’t catch a break this pre-season. First he gets concussed for like the 9,000th time and now he gets suspended for taking Molly at the Kentucky Derby. Gee  sorry for partying Roger Goodell. Seriously what a joke this is. He would have been better off beating his wife. That would have only gotten him 2 games, but taking a recreational drug at the biggest party in the America gets you four. To quote Don King! Only in America.

PS – Wes must think I’m the biggest square alive. We didn’t do any crazy shit at the Breeders Cup. Just some Vodka Tonics and beers. He goes to the Derby and turns it into a rave. I’m such a loser. Sorry Wes I didn’t know you wanted to party like that. I would have had lasers bouncing off the ceiling and C2o to the moon if I knew that was what you wanted.

 

By elpresidente posted September 2nd, 2014 at 7:46 PM

Barstool Rundown September 2

Part 2 Rundown Aftershow   Today’s Topics: Well At Least CNN Knows Less About Technology Than Barstool, Repeatedly Refers To 4CHan As A Person  If You’re Hungover This Morning, Just Remember At Least You’re Not The Guy With An Upside Down Head  NFL Defensive Lineman Got A Tattoo On His Face To Keep Himself From [...]

Part 2

Rundown Aftershow

 

Today’s Topics:

Well At Least CNN Knows Less About Technology Than Barstool, Repeatedly Refers To 4CHan As A Person 

If You’re Hungover This Morning, Just Remember At Least You’re Not The Guy With An Upside Down Head 

NFL Defensive Lineman Got A Tattoo On His Face To Keep Himself From Ever Getting A Normal Job 

New Zealand Basketball Does The Haka Dance Before Tipping Off With The US

Pittsburgh Groom Arrested On His Wedding Night For Groping A Pregnant Bartender And Trying To Pour Booze Down Her Throat 

Serena Williams’ Biceps Would CRUSH Your Skull Like A Watermelon

Tom Brady Says He Throws Hissy Fits To Get Gisele’s Attention

Audio


By handsomehank posted September 2nd, 2014 at 6:42 PM

Counterpoint: Tom Brady Gets Whatever He Wants From Gisele in the Most Brilliant Way Possible

    Page Six – Tom Brady may be known for his poise on the football field — but he acts “immature” at home with his supermodel wife, Gisele Bündchen, for attention. “I like attention from her, so when I’m not getting it, I let her know in immature ways, like a young, immature child [...]

Brady Whoopass

 

 

Page SixTom Brady may be known for his poise on the football field — but he acts “immature” at home with his supermodel wife, Gisele Bündchen, for attention. “I like attention from her, so when I’m not getting it, I let her know in immature ways, like a young, immature child would,” the Patriots’ leader admits in a new Man of the World “You throw fits…you pout and you whine until you get what you want,” he adds. But, “She’s on to me…So now I have to learn new tricks.”

 

By now you’ve no doubt seen KFC’s blog about this.  How Brady is such a pussy and he’s so cuckolded that he’ll never win another Super Bowl and be remembered as a failure, blah blah blah.  So typical.  So Gen-X.  So utterly clueless about women.  So… well, just so Jets fan. But what else could you expect from a fanbase whose quarterbacks have traditionally romanced the ladies by sending them dick pics (Brett Favre, Geno Smith), molested them on TV (Joe Namath) or statutorily raped them (Mark Sanchez)?  You know nothing Jon Snow.  Nothing about the fairer sex anyway.  Either that or your so blinded by your Brady/Patriots hatred that you can’t see the truth when it’s teabagging you on the forehead:  Brady is flat out manipulating Gisele here and making her think she’s in charge.  She’s the sexiest, most successful woman in the world and he’s playing her like a Stradavarius.  He’s hitting her right in her weak underbelly by playing off her maternal instincts, wrapping her around his finger and getting her to do his bidding.  And the whole time he’s got her thinking she’s in charge.  God, that is the kind of next level thinking that only the true world class swordsman is capable of.  If he can bend free safeties to his will all season like this (spoiler: he can),  I don’t see how they don’t go 19-0.  Never mind the haters, Tom.  Block out the noise.  Those of us who understand even 1% of what makes women tick salute you for this stroke of genius.  @JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted September 2nd, 2014 at 5:23 PM

Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day – Brianna from URI (Lupos Blackout Next Friday)

Introducing Brianna from URI. I’m running out of things to say about URI smokeshows. Hotness all over the place. I guess you gotta just sit back and enjoy the show. As a reminder Brianna just punched a free ticket to our Providence Blackout which is next Friday night. Send nominations to tips@barstoolsports.com 9/11 – New [...]

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Introducing Brianna from URI. I’m running out of things to say about URI smokeshows. Hotness all over the place. I guess you gotta just sit back and enjoy the show.

As a reminder Brianna just punched a free ticket to our Providence Blackout which is next Friday night. Send nominations to tips@barstoolsports.com

9/11 – New Haven (SOLD OUT)

9/12 – Providence  (Tickets on Sale NOW) 

 

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By elpresidente posted September 2nd, 2014 at 5:00 PM

#TheFappening Has Reminded Me How Much I Truly Despise Anyone Who Uses The Word “Fap”

          Easily the worst thing to come out of all the leaks this weekend (aside from me having to have a conversation with my dad about whether or not I have nudes on my phone) is the resurgence of the word “fap.” Hands down the worst word in history. It makes [...]

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Easily the worst thing to come out of all the leaks this weekend (aside from me having to have a conversation with my dad about whether or not I have nudes on my phone) is the resurgence of the word “fap.” Hands down the worst word in history. It makes my skin crawl just reading it. For the uninitiated, fap is nerd speak for masturbate. Why they can’t just be adults and say “jerk off,” I don’t know. I guess it’s in reference to the “noise” it makes when you beat your dick but as far as I’m concerned, if you’re making a ton of slapping noises while you masturbate then you’re probably doing it wrong. Anyway, I hate it. It’s a childish thing to call a sex act and calling sex acts something childish makes it really weird and creepy. Like when a girl calls her pussy a “vajayjay” or a “hooha.” It makes me kind of feel like a pedophile. So stop saying fap. That’s my message here: if you say fap then you’re the worst and I hope you die.

 

 

 

PS – I tweeted this thought and had people telling me “No dude it’s like the movie, The Happening. Get it? The Fappening?” Yeah, you fucking morons, I get it. I didn’t say I don’t understand the “joke,” I said I hate it.

By feitelberg posted September 2nd, 2014 at 4:53 PM

Rate Tom Brady’s New Uggs Commerical

    I’m on the fence on this one.  The only thing it did was make me want to call my parents to say hello.  Didn’t get me fired up like the last years when I was ready to run through a wall for him.  It’s a nice commercial.   I give it a B. [...]

 

 

I’m on the fence on this one.  The only thing it did was make me want to call my parents to say hello.  Didn’t get me fired up like the last years when I was ready to run through a wall for him.  It’s a nice commercial.   I give it a B.

 

1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (162 votes, average: 7.85 out of 10)
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By elpresidente posted September 2nd, 2014 at 4:19 PM
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