Does This Look Like the Face of a NH Girl Who Was Arrested For Slapping Her Boyfriend In the Face Over A Monopoly Dispute?

  HOOKSETT, N.H. (CBS) – A game of Monopoly ended with a young woman under arrest in New Hampshire. Hooksett police say they were called to a home on Post Road late Sunday night for a report of a domestic disturbance. Alyssa Ferraro, 21, told officers “she got into an argument with her boyfriend over [...]

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HOOKSETT, N.H. (CBS) A game of Monopoly ended with a young woman under arrest in New Hampshire. Hooksett police say they were called to a home on Post Road late Sunday night for a report of a domestic disturbance. Alyssa Ferraro, 21, told officers “she got into an argument with her boyfriend over a game of Monopoly and open hand slapped him in the face,” according to a police statement. The boyfriend was not seriously hurt.

 

 

Holy shit. What a pussy this boyfriend is.  I mean he must have called the cops right? How else could she get arrested? Bro grow up. More importantly this is why you need to discuss the rules of Monopoly before the game begins. It always gets weird if you don’t. I mean is there any game in the history of mankind where the rules are as ambiguous down the stretch as Monopoly? Like I’ve never seen a smooth game ending situation. It’s always somebody on the verge of bankruptcy selling property to the bank or trading everything to another player for pennies on the dollar throwing everybody into a tizzie. You literally play for 5 hours and then in the span of 5 seconds everything unravels. And it’s not like this happens some of the time either. It happens 100 out of 100 times. In fact I think that’s part of the allure of Monopoly. You’re never out of the game because nobody really knows the rules down the stretch. It’s whoever yells the loudest and cares the most that is usually the victor. Like who knows if this Ho was right or wrong? At some point she decided she was done arguing and slapped her boyfriend in the face. It’s kind of like real life in that way.

By elpresidente posted November 24th, 2014 at 3:00 PM

How About Your Boy KFC Saying One Direction Is The Ugliest Boy Band Of All Time Last Night

          No joke of all the things ever said in the history of anything KFC saying One Direction is the ugliest boy band ever is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.   I almost don’t even know how to respond to it.   Listen I fully admit I like One Direction. [...]

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No joke of all the things ever said in the history of anything KFC saying One Direction is the ugliest boy band ever is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.   I almost don’t even know how to respond to it.   Listen I fully admit I like One Direction.  I think they’re awesome.  I love how Harry Styles sings with his hands behind his back.   If I was a chick I’d be all over that dick, but even if I hated them I wouldn’t say they’re ugly.  It’s just preposterous to call them the Ugliest boy band of all time.   If those guys are ugly what does it say about Barstool?  We’re all mutants?   No fucking way that’s an ugly boy band.  No fucking way.   I think this guy summed up KFC best…

 

 

 

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By elpresidente posted November 24th, 2014 at 2:18 PM

Breaking News: Apparently Johnny Manziel Punched A Browns Fan In the Nose Who Tried To Hug Him Sparking A Melee

    Clevescene - An eager Cleveland Browns fan sparked a massive fight at The 9 when he approached Johnny Manziel and his “entourage” late Friday night, according to a police report obtained today by Scene. Cleveland police were called to the apartment’s lobby at 2:36 a.m. for a report of a “riot” involving 20 [...]

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Clevescene - An eager Cleveland Browns fan sparked a massive fight at The 9 when he approached Johnny Manziel and his “entourage” late Friday night, according to a police report obtained today by Scene. Cleveland police were called to the apartment’s lobby at 2:36 a.m. for a report of a “riot” involving 20 men and two security guards. The alleged victim, 33-year-old Sandusky resident Chris Gonos, reported to police that he and his girlfriend spotted Manziel while waiting for an elevator at the high-end apartment complex, where many Cleveland professional athletes live, and professed his love to the rookie quarterback. Gonos told police he pointed Manziel out to his girlfriend: “That’s Johnny Manziel.” Then he approached him. According to the report, “at this time victim stated to the unidentified male, ‘I’m the biggest Browns fan ever, I love you, I want to give you a hug.’” Gonos stepped towards Manziel and was promptly punched in the face, the alleged victim’s account to police says, followed by a beat down by Manziel’s crew, giving the man a “swollen lip, right eye swollen, red face.” A security guard intervened and also was hurt.

 

Phew! Thank God I read this article first. Ok mental note to self. When I do meet Johnny Manziel don’t say “I love you, I want to give you a hug” Johnny doesn’t like that. That’s how you get your nose broke. Just stick with the original plan and bark at him from the corner till you make eye contact. Ruff, Ruff…I love you Johnny….Ruff, Ruff.

 

PS – There is no chance this guy wasn’t belligerently drunk and deserved to get punched in the face by the way.

By elpresidente posted November 24th, 2014 at 1:38 PM

Bill Belichick Is A Master Shade Thrower

“Sure there was a lot of frustration there with Raiola. He’s never beaten us. Tough day for him.” – Belichick with subtle tweak of Lions C — Tom E. Curran (@tomecurran) November 24, 2014           RUTHLESS. When Belichick burns you it’s like your parents saying they’re not mad, just disappointed. It’s [...]

 

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RUTHLESS. When Belichick burns you it’s like your parents saying they’re not mad, just disappointed. It’s not angry, there’s no yelling or fighting, it’s just an emotionless, tactful response that’s designed to rip you apart on the inside. It’s honest, is what it is. He doesn’t go out of him way to think of some fancy insult, he tells the truth. “Well yeah, Dominic was probably pretty upset because he’s never been on a football team that’s good enough to beat me. That must be really frustrating for him.” Just breaks you down as a person. Like even Raiola must have seen this quote and sheepishly nodded his head, thought, “Yeah, Bill. That’s actually exactly what it was,” then shut off the lights and cried for two hours because he lives in Detroit and plays for a fraud football team. Brutal KO from Belichick.

By feitelberg posted November 24th, 2014 at 1:21 PM

Guess That Ass

   

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Read the rest of this entry »

By elpresidente posted November 24th, 2014 at 12:40 PM

Randy Moss Interviewing Tom Brady Is A Tremendous Way To Spend 5 Minutes

        Watched that entire vid with a huge grin on my face. I love seeing the way former players talk about Tom Brady, they’re like little school girls with a crush. They’re always so happy to see him and giddy. They recognize that it was truly an honor to get to play [...]

 

 

 

 

Watched that entire vid with a huge grin on my face. I love seeing the way former players talk about Tom Brady, they’re like little school girls with a crush. They’re always so happy to see him and giddy. They recognize that it was truly an honor to get to play with the guy and they almost talk to him like a soldier meeting up with a former commander who saved their life. I mean Moss said they should lay rose pedals down for Brady whenever he walks in a room, think that sums it up as well as you can. Thought it was also cool to see Brady open up about how he’s never been criticized in his entire career and how that affected him early on this season. Usually you get the canned answers from Tom but that seemed like a real moment of vulnerability and honesty. All in all it was an awesome glimpse at a more open Brady, even going so far as to say how he pities every other football team for sucking so bad and would basically kill himself if he was anyone else in the world.

 

 

PS – If they auctioned off surfing lessons with TB12 and Moss in Costa Rica I’d rob 10,000 banks to get to do it.

By feitelberg posted November 24th, 2014 at 11:59 AM

Patriots Vs. Lions Rewind

GOD INDEED   Real simple thing we’re doing with this column. Just recapping the game in vines and gifs and shit. Key moments, key plays, funny moments, funny plays, or basically anything else I think was worthy of mention. And here we go. 1st Quarter   1. Fox 25 Threatening Verizon Fios Customers That They [...]

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GOD INDEED

 

Real simple thing we’re doing with this column. Just recapping the game in vines and gifs and shit. Key moments, key plays, funny moments, funny plays, or basically anything else I think was worthy of mention. And here we go.

1st Quarter

 

1. Fox 25 Threatening Verizon Fios Customers That They May Not Be Able To Watch Thanksgiving Football Unless They Call To Complain Is Diabolical

 

Talk about playing hardball huh?   The game was like 2 plays in and Fox runs this scroll like a tornado just touched down in Boston.  Just warning all Verizon Fios customers they may not be able to watch football on Thanksgiving because of a contract dispute or something with FIOS.   Imagine not being able to watch football on Thanksgiving?  What do you do?  Murder somebody?   If that doesn’t make you cancel FIOS I don’t know what will.

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2. Akeem Ayers Sack Was A Thing of Beauty

 

Akeem Ayers played 10 snaps all season with the lowly Titans. He’s got 3 sacks already with the Pats. Figure that one out. Belichick being Belichick.

 

       

 

3. Ryan Allen For MVP  

 

If the Patriots played the Lions 100 times they’d probably win 150 of them.  But if Allen doesn’t make this play it theoretically could have changed the complexion of the game. Theoretically.  Either way got to throw the punter a bone every now and again.

 

   

 

4.  The Dodge Brothers Commercial.  

 

I absolutely hate myself that I like the Dodge Brothers but I do.   I kind of want a Dodge car now.   I’m such a sucker for advertising. Dodge Brothers probably never even existed. I’m getting mousetrapped and I know it.

 

     

 

5. Belichicks Cuts Off The Wrists Of His Hoodie  

 

Yeah I know he cuts his hoodie every week, but just cutting off the wrists is so Belichick it hurts.

 

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2nd Quarter  

 

1. Revis Island In Full Effect  

 

Yesterday was arguably Revis’s best game of the year.  I mean how many guys can defend a fade vs. Calvin Johnson like this?  The answer is almost nobody.  Time and time again yesterday Revis made great plays on the ball.   That’s what separates him.  You see so many guys in position to make plays and they either commit pass interference or get outjumped or maneuvered for the ball.   That never seems to happen to Revis.  He always seems to play the ball perfectly when it is in the air.

 

   

 

2. Keep the Blount Rolling

 

Poor Jonas Gray.  Picked a horrible time to have his alarm clock break.   I guess Blount borrowed Antonio Brown’s TD dance? I have no idea what this is or where it is from?       Must be a dirty south thing.

 

sexybrown.0    

 

3. LeGarrette Blount Thanks Belichick For Saving His Life…Again

 

 

 

4. Gisele Instagrams Vivian Watching Daddy

 

 

Listen I’m not a big kid guy but even I can recognize total and utter cuteness.  This was pure mushy mush.  Ponytails like you read about.

 

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5. Edelman gets knocked out cold.  Makes a Big Catch 10 Seconds Later

 

 

It’s the little things that make good players great. Edelman got decaptiated on a 2nd down play faking a run and then comes back and makes a tough 3rd down catch for the first down 5 seconds later before he even had a chance to clear out the cobwebs.

 

 

 

6. The Lions Let the Clock Rundown to the 2 minute Warning Because They Are Scared Poopy Pants

 

It turned out not to really matter clockwise, but when you’re trying to burn time with 2 minutes left and you’re at your own 20 because you’re afraid of giving the ball back to the Pats that is the definition of the opponent having real estate in your brain.  You can’t win with scared money.

.   lionscared

 

 

3rd Quarter

 

1. Refs Miss A Blatant Hold On Gronk On Brady Goal Line Int

 

I guess this is the only way to stop Brady and Gronk nowadays?  Just blatantly hold him.  I’m not sure Gronk would have caught this ball but he definitely would have been there either first or simultaneously.   Most likely an incompletion if he wasn’t held.   You can tell by Gronk’s instant reaction too that it should have been a flag.

 

 

 

2.  Revis Island Ball Skills #2   More perfect ball skills on display

 

 

 

3. Revis Island Ball Skills Part 3

 

 

We even got the Dikembi Mutumbo No, no, no finger wave this time.

 

 

 

4. Edelman Punt Return

 

If you have one of the best punt returns of the year, but there is a flag for holding does anybody see it?

 

4th Quarter

 

1. Belichick Mousetraps Jim Cauldwell into Throwing His First Challenge of the Year

 

Seriously though this was the Lions first challenge?  Did I understand that correctly?  How is that possible?

 

 

 

2. Matt Stafford Slides An Inch Short on 4th Down

 

Maybe the wimpiest play of the year.  Sliding an inch before you’re about to gain the first down.   Imagine if that happened to the Patriots?   Borges and Felger would cum themselves to the roof.

 

 

   

 

3. Bob Kraft Goes Flip Phone On Everybodies Asses

 

“A modern day Zoolander” – Joe Buck It’s Mr. Kraft’s world. We’re just living in it. Don’t want a flip phone. Need a flip phone. Go all 2004 on people’s asses.

 

 

4. Ranking Brady’s Best Haircuts Over The Years

 

We’re going top to bottom here.

 

1.  The Impregnator

Can you get away with this hair without the beard?  Doubtful.  But with the facial hair it’s nothing short of magnificent.  Man meets model.   I almost get pregnant just looking at it.

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2.  Peter Patridge

Classic young clean cut hair cut.  Probably got some wax in there on the front.  If you hate on this haircut you’re hating on America.

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3.  Cali Bro

I should like this haircut.  This should be my #1.  It screams surfer hair.  But his face is too clean cut or something.  He looks like a girl.  It’s almost like an early day Gisele haircut when Tom was just figuring out how to impress her but keep his balls.

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4.  Rookie Haircut

 

This looks like a teammate gave him this haircut because he wanted to save money.  Like he thought he could be cut at any moment.

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5.  Worst Haircut Ever Haircut

Do you know how much I have to hate this haircut to put #4 ahead of it?   At least with #4 it didn’t look like he tried or cared.  This looks like he thought this looked good.   Wouldn’t shock me if he had this when he was living in Marina Bay and got tricked into this at Ocean Club or something.

 

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5. The Dirtiest Play of the Year

 

Dominic Raiola tries to take out Zach Moore on the last play of the game when the Lions are taking a knee and submitting. This should be at least a 2 game suspension. No point to this move other than trying to injury or end a career. A people should know when they are conquered.

 

 

 

Post Game

 

1. Jimmy Johnson Says What Everybody In the NFL Already Knows.  Pencil the Pats in For Arizona

 

 

 

We’re Onto Green Bay….

By elpresidente posted November 24th, 2014 at 11:10 AM
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