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By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 9:00 PM

#Barstool Confessions

   

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By feitelberg posted September 19th, 2014 at 6:05 PM

Miltons Pimp My Look

          Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.   Today’s Contestant     Reader Email   Dear Mr. El [...]

 

 

 

 

 

Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.

 

Today’s Contestant

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Reader Email

 

Dear Mr. El Presidente aka Davey Pageviews,
 
I wrote to you guys back in 2012 about my friend Dana and you hooked him up big time, thank you very much. I’ve got bad news though..it’s only gotten worse. I don’t want to say it was all a waste, but I’m not sure what happened to his clothes. They probably are all stained or have a permanent smell of trash. as if he couldn’t be any more washed up , Dana injured himself and tore his ACL in a”freak old-man’s league basketball game”. Since we last spoke Dana has been battling his fight against his original”Freshman 60″ as I mentioned to you a couple years ago. And I don’t think he’s allowed on Stonehill campus anymore either…just not a lot of stuff going his way. I’ve got a lot of faith in this kid though. He has a promising career in working as a landscaper for the rest of his life, I think he can get out of this slump of his.  but he can’t do it alone. He needs help. I’ve watched him piss his pants and wear his fucking 2X size Jay Cutler jersey that goes down to his knees just way too many times. don’t even give him new clothes, can you just help this kid please?

 

 

1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (59 votes, average: 7.71 out of 10)
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By feitelberg posted September 19th, 2014 at 5:35 PM

Jason Whitlock Casually Rocking A Spiderman Shirt While Talking Domestic Abuse

    ESPN – “Hey Jason we need you to come on live TV to talk about domestic abuse.  Very serious issue.  Make sure to look your best” Whitlock - “Got it.  Let me just grab my best spiderman tshirt.  Ok I’m ready”

whitlock

 

 

ESPN“Hey Jason we need you to come on live TV to talk about domestic abuse.  Very serious issue.  Make sure to look your best”

Whitlock - “Got it.  Let me just grab my best spiderman tshirt.  Ok I’m ready”

By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 5:05 PM

I Don’t Even Understand The Alibaba IPO

    USA – Alibaba, BABA the Chinese e-commerce giant whose magical name and real-world business prospects inspired frenzied interest for months ahead of its record-setting initial public offering, surged 35% following a delayed Friday debut on the New York Stock Exchange. More than 100 million shares traded within 20 minutes of its delayed open [...]

alibaba

 

 

USA – Alibaba, BABA the Chinese e-commerce giant whose magical name and real-world business prospects inspired frenzied interest for months ahead of its record-setting initial public offering, surged 35% following a delayed Friday debut on the New York Stock Exchange. More than 100 million shares traded within 20 minutes of its delayed open and over 200 million shares exchanged hands by early afternoon. Early indications had shares opening at $80 to $83, but demand was so strong, the offering price had to be revised 10 times. The IPO raised $21.8 billion, surpassing the $17.8 billion raised by credit card marketer Visa’s 2008 IPO and Facebook’s $16 billion IPO in 2012. At current price levels, Alibaba’s market capitalization is greater than blue-chip giants IBM, Procter & Gamble and General Electric. A holding company that combines the sales, merchandising and financial services reach of Amazon, eBay and PayPal, Alibaba had revenue of $8.5 billion in its last fiscal year, up from $5.5 billion in 2013. Revenue for the second quarter ended June 30 jumped 46% to $2.53 billion and net income jumped 137% to $2 billion.

I’m so confused by Alibaba. Hey Alibaba what the fuck are you? How could you be the biggest IPO in the history of the stock market and I’ve never heard of you? And how can Chinese companies get listed on the NYSE to begin with? I mean I’ll be the first one to admit I know less than zero about the stock market and finance and think everybody who works on Wall Street are pretty much crooks, but this can’t be legal. I mean aren’t all Chinese companies owned by the government or public because they are Communist to begin with? Seriously get these record breaking mofos off the stock exchange. You want some real Americans to ring the bell? Fine. We’ll do it. We’ll go public right in people’s faces. Biggest Smut Blog IPO ever. I can see it now…..

 

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By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 4:50 PM

TMZ Issued A Knockout Punch To Roger Goodell

    Obviously Roger Goodell didn’t answer 1 question truthfully during the entire press conference.  Anybody who thought he’d do otherwise is dreaming.   If his job was in jeopardy he wouldn’t have waited this long to throw a mock press conference where he basically rubbed everybody’s noses in the mud with his sham responses. [...]

 

 

Obviously Roger Goodell didn’t answer 1 question truthfully during the entire press conference.  Anybody who thought he’d do otherwise is dreaming.   If his job was in jeopardy he wouldn’t have waited this long to throw a mock press conference where he basically rubbed everybody’s noses in the mud with his sham responses.  All that presser showed is he still totally out of touch with public opinion or  he just doesn’t give a fuck because he knows we’re all gonna watch Sunday.   Regardles this question from TMZ was awesome.  Obviously Goodell dismissed it like he dismissed every other question, but still the point was made loud and clear.  Roger “1 phone call” Goodell.

 

UPDATE – TMZ may be lying.   Mort just said it took him TWO phonecalls to figure out what happened in the elevator.

 

By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 4:23 PM

Benji From the Howard Stern Show Won the Goodell Press Conference

    Don’t Make Me Go In The Elevator!!!!!!!    This was the best thing and really only thing that happened all press conference.   Goodell has just been tap dancing every single question.    Double talk on top of more double talk.   Insulting to every single human alive.  Unfortunately we couldn’t have accepted [...]

 

 

Don’t Make Me Go In The Elevator!!!!!!!    This was the best thing and really only thing that happened all press conference.   Goodell has just been tap dancing every single question.    Double talk on top of more double talk.   Insulting to every single human alive.  Unfortunately we couldn’t have accepted anything else from this scumbag.

 

 

By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Pabst Blue Ribbon Was Just Sold To Putin?

  NBC – Pabst Brewing Company — and its signature Pabst Blue Ribbon, the ironic, iconic favorite of the young and the cool — has sold to a Russian beverage firm after a century and a half of American ownership, an investing firm announced Thursday. Oasis Beverages, the largest independent brewer in Russia, bought Pabst, [...]

PBR_Patton

 

NBC – Pabst Brewing Company — and its signature Pabst Blue Ribbon, the ironic, iconic favorite of the young and the cool — has sold to a Russian beverage firm after a century and a half of American ownership, an investing firm announced Thursday. Oasis Beverages, the largest independent brewer in Russia, bought Pabst, which also produces Colt .45, Old Milwaukee and Lone Star beers, according to a statement by the American investment firm TSG Consumer Partners, which will hold a minority stake.

 

 

Pets heads are officially falling off.  Seriously I thought this was an Onion article at first.  I mean Pabst just got sold to a Russian company? Huh? How is that possible? Pabst entire marking campaign is around being an American beer. Are they going to replace the blue ribbon with a Hammer and Sickle? Stunning developments. If I was Putin I’d totally drink a Pabst right in Obama’s face everytime they had a meeting. Power move plain and simple here from the Russians. On the bright side I’m pretty sure this means the Cold War is back on.

By elpresidente posted September 19th, 2014 at 2:57 PM
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