First of all, I appreciate these guys doing this. Even though I volunteered to take responsibility a week ago when we were in the thick of this witch hunt and they waited until science said it wasn’t any person who did it, it was Mother Nature. Some would nitpick and say they’re a day late and a dollar short, but I still respect and appreciate the sentiment.
Second, I really wanted to like this. I love all these actors. Chris Evans, Krasinski, obviously Affleck and Damon. They’re all awesome, so I truly wanted to think this was too. But I just couldn’t. I’m sorry. Not saying it was horrible, it was like a C, but I just didn’t love it as much as the rest of the internet seems to.
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By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2015 at 11:40 AM
Hey guys, “I’m bringing booty back” is a little too raunchy for Kidz Bop. Any suggestions for a way to make it G rated?
How ’bout we bring back ass fucking!
Look for a while now I’ve been the flag carrier for butt stuff. Just the other day I said that ass eating should’ve been TIME’s person of the year, not some silly Ebola doctors. But the fact of that matter is that little kids singing about it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I know kids these days are rounding third and heading home during kindergarten nap time, but I don’t need to hear songs about it. You can kiss and do all the other stuff you want, but anal should strictly be reserved for people who know cursive and their multiplication tables.
(New York Times) — Thomas Healy does not have tickets to the Super Bowl, but he plans to fly to Phoenix with something that is even harder to come by than seats at Sunday’s game: the first detailed, experimental data on how atmospheric conditions might have reduced the air pressure in footballs used by the New England Patriots in their victory over the Indianapolis Colts nearly two weeks ago. Those footballs, which the N.F.L. has said were deflated to pressures below league standards, have created a national meta-bowl whose outcome is seemingly as important as who wins on Sunday. The question driving the public dialogue is whether the Patriots tampered with the balls to make them easier to handle, or whether simply moving them from the warmth of a locker room to the chill and dampness of the field could account for the deflation. The Patriots have absorbed a beating in that larger contest, with many scientists concluding that only the surreptitious hiss of air being released from the balls could explain the difference. But now the Patriots have started to rally, and in a big way. Healy, who provided The New York Times with an advance copy of his technical paper on the experiments, concluded that most or all of the deflation could be explained by those environmental effects. “This analysis looks solid to me,” said Max Tegmark, a professor of physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who reviewed the paper at The Times’s request. “To me, their measurements mean that there’s no evidence of foul play.”
I’ll make this quick because anyone with a brain has known this whole investigation has been a crock of shit for almost a full week now. At this point each new piece of exonerating evidence is just just piling on. So I’m just going to say two things…
1. I want Bill Nye to give up his title as “the Science Guy” – Non-negotiable. You’re no longer the Science Guy, Bill. Take the degree you got from whatever rinky dink college you duped into giving it to you, and flush it down the toilet. Can’t keep that when you go on TV and laugh in the face of Dr. Belichick, who became a scientist in THREE days when I’m sure it took you years, then get shot down when actual scientists perform actual experiments. You’re a fool, a jealous Seattle fan who used junk science to try and ruin the name of good men, and just another reason to never trust an adult male in a bow tie.
2. I want Roger Goodell’s apology - Also non-negotiable. I want Goodell to look directly in Tom Brady’s ice blue eyes and beg for forgiveness. I want Goodell to peer, horrified, under Bill Belichick’s hood and say sorry while tears of terror drip down his face. I want Goodell to crawl up on stage and lick the bottom of Kraft’s Air Force One’s then get walked around the sidelines of Gillette on a leash for an entire season. I want all of them! MmmmmPOLOGIZE, you bitch.
By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2015 at 10:10 AM
You won’t spend a better 11 minutes all day. Yesterday I said Gronk and Marshawn need a reality show and now I’m absolutely positive of it. I would watch these two do anything. Gronk and Marshawn play video games, I’m in. Gronk and Marshawn go grocery shopping, I’m in. Gronk and Marshawn watch Pretty Little Liars, I’m in. Doesn’t matter what, if it has these two I will pay to watch. I wish there was a way for both Marshawn Lynch and the Patriots to win the Super Bowl because that dude is just awesome.
PS – Mortal Kombat is gruesome as FUCK. Jesus Christ, was it that bad when we were kids?
By feitelberg posted January 30th, 2015 at 9:30 AM
(PFT) — What was the precise PSI of each of the 12 footballs the Patriots’ offense used in the AFC Championship Game? We’ll probably never know. NFL head of officiating Dean Blandino confirmed today that the NFL didn’t log the exact PSI of each football. According to Blandino, when officials inspect footballs to see if they’re properly inflated, they simply approve them or disapprove them. In other words, although the Patriots did play with under-inflated footballs, the NFL hasn’t kept detailed records of whether those footballs were slightly under-inflated (which could be the result of a change in temperature) or significantly under-inflated (which would indicate that someone purposely let air out of the footballs).
I’m as sick of this as anybody but Pres would probably rip my head off if I didn’t mention it. Recording PSI levels strikes me as something refs would do if it actually mattered at all. I guess my only question is how was everybody saying the Colts balls stayed exactly the same PSI if that wasn’t written down? Did the refs remember the PSI level of every Colts ball from before the game? Or is there a possibility that Andrew Luck likes his footballs more inflated and while the PSI dropped it still fell within the legal limit, whereas Brady likes the PSI on the lower end so when his balls dropped (lol) it fell out of the legal limit? I don’t know, I’m not a scientist like Belichick, just appears to be a bunch reasonable doubt to me. All we know is that there’s no chance the Patriots get in any trouble. Terrible job of logging evidence by the league.
By feitelberg posted January 29th, 2015 at 8:08 PM