Cops Break Up Wedding After Groom Beats Up Brother For Groping Bridesmaids On Dance Floor Posted by kmarko from Emory U.
Sun – A HAPPY couple pose with the Olympic torch at their wedding — hours before the groom traded blows with his brother and cops were called to the reception. Newlywed Darren Heys, 39, had stepped in to stop usher Duane GROPING the bridesmaids after they complained to his wife Catherine Lloyd. The pair started scrapping on the dancefloor before shocked guests dragged the slugging siblings to opposite sides of the venue. One guest said: “Duane had had a bit to drink and was touching up the bridesmaids. “Some of the girls complained to Catherine, so she asked Darren to have a quiet word with his brother. Bust-up … Duane grappled on dance-floor with brother Darren at wedding “Suddenly, there was a scream and Darren and Duane were wrestling on the floor. A few punches were thrown, but the fight was broken up pretty quickly.” But then furious Duane, 40, went on the rampage. The guest said: “Duane went mad, smashing up the place. He tipped over a piano and tables and threw glasses at people who tried to stop him.” Staff at the Alma Inn in Colne, Lancs, phoned police and Duane was arrested. The guest added: “It’s such a shame. The day should have been remembered for the wedding being part of the Olympic torch relay.
No one to blame for this wedding disaster but the bride. Didn’t even say the vows yet and already undermining the marriage. No surprise there. I mean putting a prissy prude man hater bitch in the wedding party? What the fuck? What exactly do you think your role here is sweetheart? You plan the bachelorette party. You get fucked by the groomsmen. Simple. Like the tasks could not be more straight forward. I mean a bridesmaid complaining she got groped is like a stripper complaining she got groped. No fucking shit you did honey. It’s your job. I’ll tell you chicks are getting way too uptight nowadays. Just wear your ugly dress and bang Duane in the coatroom and stop causing problems. It’s a wedding after all, and you’re not getting any younger.
Editors Note – Kmarko blogged it. Clay Matthews was like fingering himself over it so I had to post it.
I don’t understand why this was posted. Nothing new, but this time seriously wtf?
Although this blog does a terrible job of proving my point; KMarko is sneaky one of the funniest barstool writers.
KMarko is rarely seen on this site but you have Chemo over in Chicago making the stool look dumb as shit. Not hating, not trolling, just telling you Pres, Chemo is fuckin garbage.
Gotta be Duane there.between bride and torch lady already boozed up with crazy look on his face with a jackass vibe
can someone please explain to me the clay matthews reference
goddy, serious question. how many blogs have you called neil “chemo” today? yeah the guy sucks but i dont think your nickname is taking off.
Way to play it cool el pres. Just because a celebrity/athlete retweets a barstool post doesnt mean you have to finger yourself and repost it
Slimpop, im gna just keep on calling him chemo bro. Dont give a shit about any nicknames taking off on barstool sports buddy. I dont wanna call him neil. I wanna call him chemo because thats just what i wanna call him. Did i really hafto explain that one to you? Jesus christ man. Ur on my nuts why?
Someone called him chemo the other day anyway so i cant take the credit for that perfect nickname. But you just keep calling him neil buddy. He looks like a neil or a doogie. Do i have your permission to call him doogie if i feel like getting crazy one day and calling him doogie?
far from on your nuts pal, your bashing neil or chemo or fucking doogie or whatever you wanna call him all fucking day. give the guy a chance. post a picture of you and write something everyone can read and see how you deal with a all out assault from fucking illiterate fucking dorks in their mid 30′s like you.
and no im not neils brother or do i know him
Haha, i get it now. Your gay too. My bad bro, i dont really think about allthe people i affect when i make comments like that. I guess i can expect slimpop and the rainbow coalition to come down pretty hard on me. I deserve it, im sorry slimpop. I’ll shut my mouth and just learn to read or something, from my moms basement right?
no, im far from gay but i hope your father and mother die from cancer on your kids first birthday. sometimes cancer isnt funny. way to crack the case detective.
And one more thing, faggit, i mean slimpop(thats code for a skinny pecker right?) if I was a writer gor Barstool, i would totally expect thousands of assholes just like myself to rip me to shreds. Kinda goes without sayin, skinnydick. Im sure doogie is gna be just fine and knew this was gna happen before he took the job. But i really think its cute, you defending him n all. Your a good man, skinnydick. Your a good man.
Moms died when i was 8 from liver cancer bro. Debrah K. Armstrong, RIP. My pops is still kickin tho. Can i give you a smiley face right now queerbag? 8) you like smileys dont you?
congrats, your the dumbest, most unfunny motherfucker ive came across in my entire life.
please tell me you just spelled your dead cunt mothers name wrong..
thats comedy
Haha. Nah, its spelled correct dude. See man, this is barstool. Your a fool to take anything too serious. You called my dead ma a cunt but its ok. You no? Lighten up skinnydick. But ur def suspect, i think u like balls.
Thanks for sweating me tho, slim. Been a while since ive had an internet scuffle.
was your mom black? Debrah for a white womans name is suspect.
Nah she was white. She was a smoke too. 35 when she died. If you were not a doogie then i bet you would def agree that she was hot.
sorry for hijacking the board people.
Yeah we sure did. My bad.
As an outsider looking in, I think goddy just won that battle. The skinny dick comment made me chuckle.
35 year old crack heads on chemo cannot be smokes. blow your father and go to bed.
Both u guys should lighten up a bit. U went from a wedding blog to wishing cancer upon each other. Pretty fucked up. What happened to good ol natured ball busting. I know u guys will prob rip me for this but ill take it. And goody if ur mom passed from cancer Im sorry to hear that but I have a hard time believing it with u tossing out the word chemo like that.
im going to agree with goddy that kmarko gets the shaft here. the guy is funnier than moe and neil but gets buried under some bullshit playlist posts and endless repetitive smokesmash posts.
Soupedup, im not gna bash anyone bro. Skinnydick was bustin on me so i busted back. Didnt wish cancer on anyone just basically said that Neil(u happy slim) looks like hes on chemo. Just like a hundred other heads have said. Just a joke haha. Im good bro, its fuckin barstool and i did a little old fashioned ball busting on skinnydick when he tried being slick. And bro, i got no reason to make shit up like that. Ma def passed from cancer. Everybodys been affected by cancer in one way or another, not a real shocker. I’ll venture to say that if you comment on barstool, 9 times out of 10 stoolies can make light out of shitty situations. Like Prez and the Nazi jokes. Wow this got real gay, real quick.
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@slim, that last one was kinda funny dude.
Slim, I don’t believe in karma or heaven/hell, but if I’m wrong, you’re in deep shit. Wishing cancer on someone’s mother is pretty low, and she actually died from cancer already? If your mother gets cancer, I hope you think back on this and blame yourself. I also hope you get hit by a car.
no hard feelings, killed a 6 of dogfish IPA while doing this. ill bash your comments tomorrow
Get urself doogie’d, skinnydick and i’ll check you tmro cowboy. And dude, have the respect to give him a reach around, cool?
Anyways, can someone explain the clay mathews reference to my illiterate ace? JohnnyBegood, my man.
Wow, you killed a whole “6″ of Dogfish while anonymously wishing cancer on someone’s mother (who died of cancer). You’re a really impressive dude. Why don’t you polish off another “6″ and then hang yourself.
@goddy77 – look at EP’s Twitter feed (top right, I don’t have a Twitter account either). I guess Clay Mathews tweeted a screenshot of this blog (originally posted on Barstool U), which got Pres so excited he reposted it here.
“killed a 6 of dogfish IPA while this” awesome dude! Jerking off is going to be so much more fun tonite!
Nice. KMarko is the most under-rated writer the stool has.
9.0 abv, good luck drinking keystone light youll be able to afford real beer soon. agree goddy kmarko is the best blogger on here
Wow, you can afford to drink whatever kind of beer you want. I’m sure we’re all very impressed. You’ve really made it Slim, don’t even have to think twice about killing a 6 of pricey Dogfish IPA. Bahahahahaha! What a fucking douche you are!
You know it’s actually harder to make fun of someone who is so good at making himself look like a faggot. So take it down a notch and i’ll give ya a good one.
You’re right Mitch. Just need to copy and paste Slim’s comments and underline them. Unreal.
Damn slimpop, we have learned a lot about you tonight dude. Mainly that you enjoy getting mudjammed but also that you think drinking Dogfish by urself somehow makes you cool. Beer muscles on the internet?? Ur awesome bro.
late night barstool comment fight between a wigger and a pussy FTW.
Am i the wigger or the pussy?
goody what’s it like being an internet tough guy? you get a lot of pussy in the comment section?
You are both literally the fucking worst holy shit such each others dicks and get it over with
Oh macca, not you too. Haha. I was minding my own bizness rippin the chicago guy, like everyone else today when slimpop had to be a dick. So by internet tough guy you mean calling someone out right? Kinda like you just did me? Like slimpop did me earlier? So you tell me, macca, whats it like being an internet toughguy? You get a lot of pussy in the comment section? You got me tho, im pretty embarrassed right now. Im a wigger and an internet toughguy. From the hills of WV haha. Fuckin love this site!
I’d love for him to “such” my dick but hes already sauced from that 6er of pricey Dogfish he polished off.
Prez, thank you for Barstool. Mid-month inventory is the worst. I looked up at the clock and realized its almost quitting time.
i like kmarko but i didn’t find this blog that funny at all. but most of the back and forth on this comment board is the stuff of true wackos. Poor soupedup, he’s really upset about all this.
I once saw two guys kiss, and that was the gayest thing i’d ever seen until I saw this comment board.
Goddy77: 1.
Slimdick: 0.
First
Somebody needs a hug! I wonder how slimpop feels today with that gnarly hangover.
he’s so hungover he’s only posting on Brobible today
slimpop = NEIL hiding. Go fuck yourself slimpop…. fucking cunt bag asshole prick.
Goddz FTW
Slimpops mother died when he was 10 seconds old from shame
I had to come back and say that I still can’t get over the fact that Slim bragged about a) the number of beers he “killed” last night, b) their alcohol content (“9.0 abv”), and c) how much he paid for them. What a fucking joke of a person.
slimpop is officailly the gayest stoolie. Gayer than GayStoolie.