Do All Girls Book Out Their Presents Months In Advance Like My Wife Does?
So Christmas is right around the corner. The First Lady celebrates both Hanukkah and Christmas even though I’m not 100% sure we’ve ever proved she has any Christianity in her, but she wants both sets of presents. Cant’s blame her I suppose. Anyway here is the thing about my wife which I got a feeling all chicks do. Whenever she wants me to buy her something she always says it’s either for her birthday or Christmas or whatever the next holiday is to justify it. So like she saw a jacket she liked in Nantucket a couple weeks ago and basically had me buy it for her under the guise that it’s her Christmas gift for this year. She does this all the time. So by my calculations she is basically booked through 2038 at this point. I’m talking every Valentines Day, Anniversary, B-Day, Christmas is spoken for. Of course the only problem is I can’t not get her something for any of these holidays. Like I can’t sit there with my dick in my hand and be like “Oh remember those earrings I bought you 9 years ago. That was for Christmas 2012. Obviously you got to get something to be opened on the actual day. It’s fucking brilliant. It’s like a pyramid scheme that can’t lose. My question is whether my wife is the only one that pulls this shit or is this just build into the DNA of chicks?
Who the fuck knows?? Maybe you should Ask Jared.
You are definitely not alone, Prez, Renee does this to me too.
I’d ask Renee but she has her mouth full right now….
I get the opposite of that shit. Mrs. Clams says she doesnt want anything. But we all know that is really just a recipe for making everything “fine”
yep- bought earrings for her in Nov “for Christmas” and she has already forgot about it and wants to know where her present is under tree. It is a pretty brilliant business plan.
it truly amazes me that you have a wife.
For my birthday, can you give me a divorce? Thanks.
You wish that pic you posted was Renee.
“I’m not 100% sure we’ve ever proved she has any Christianity in her” Does she want some?
Say like again. I dare you
I’m not 100% sure we’ve ever proved she has any Christianity in her, but she wants both sets of presents
I’d be willing to bet there’s been some Christians in her.
Id love it if my girlfriend actually TOLD ME WHAT SHE FUCKING WANTED. Pres, shes not pulling any shit, she’s giving you an easy out. Id be thrilled to have that.
Portnose, you celebrating Christmas makes about as much sense as me celebrating Kwanzaa (for two reasons: I’m white, and Kwanzaa’s a made up holiday).
Keystone sucks
She asked for a jacket a few weeks before xmas as a gift? Pretty normal. Not really sure what you mean by now shes booked to 2038. Seems pretty clear cut to me but i may be retarded so then again who knows
It’s called getting dominated Dave. gotta keep that pimp hand strong bro. she doesn’t work, you have no kids for her to watch, bitch doesn’t deserve anything. every day she sits on her ass and eats bon bons is a present.
Since nobody is saying it, I will, your wife is a materialistic bitch.
My wife will drop hints, which I don’t mind, but she gets xmas gifts on xmas.
Who goes to Nantucket in fucking December? Jews are so weird
Pres i am holding my dick in my hands opening all this mail you sent me
Just mailing it in today I see pres
Booooobs
if she says its for the holiday then its for the holiday. she can have it now or wrap it up and you can open it on the actual day. your choice.
5 times I’ve read the title of this blog and I STILL have no idea what you’re talking about……..just fire up another dick blog and call it a year Portwine!!!!
Thats funny Dave, the only thing Renee asks me for more of is anal
Wife asked for an iPad; to avoid losing out…I bought it early. Still wants “something to open” on Xmas.
Maybe you should ask for your balls back for Hanukkah. If she bitches on Christmas, get the coat and gently throw it in her face. She’ll get the point…or a divorce!
Cyclone is the only one on here who gets it. If its bought for Christmas, you don’t get it til Christmas. Its wrapped and put under the tree until then. That’s how you avoid this mess Portnoy. Then when you just get her something little she doesn’t know about, it doesn’t look nearly as bad next to the expensive coat.
Can’t believe you guys are all bitching about this. Simple answer is to re-wrap the coat or iPad or whatever you bought her months ago and she can open that on Christmas.
tell her she has to wait for the day and then give it to her. Come on pageviews.
why do I get the feeling she also is the one who wants a whole month for her birthday. Also, exposing your wife to stoolie comment sections leaves her open for criticism…. sure, I mention my wife all the time, but I never posted a picture, released her twitter handle, gave her real name.
As far as our perception of Renee Portnoy is, she seems like a materialistic airhead.
Tell her to hang the jacket on ur coat rack nose while she gives u a BJ then blow 8 candles in her mouth like I do every Friday, oops I’m late for my appt. Gotta go.
What a dirty fucking Jew whore cum dumpster I hope Renee gets gang raped by a bunch of aids infected Indian cab drivers
What a dirty fucking Jew whore cum dumpster I hope Renee gets gang raped by a bunch of aids infected Indian cab drivers
What a dirty fucking Jew whore cum dumpster I hope Renee gets gang raped by a bunch of aids infected Indian cab drivers
I hope the First Lady inspects that jacket closely for a red dot…