RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - A cat carrying a saw and a mobile phone was “detained” as it entered a prison gate in northeast Brazil, Brazilian media reported on Saturday. Prison guards were surprised when they saw a white cat crossing the main gate of the prison, its body wrapped with tape. A closer look showed the feline also carried drills, an earphone, a memory card, batteries and a phone charger. All 263 detainees in the prison of Arapiraca, a city of 215,000 people in the state of Alagoas, are considered suspect in the plot, which is being investigated by local police. “It’s tough to find out who’s responsible for the action as the cat doesn’t speak,” a prison spokesperson told local paper Estado de S.Paulo.

Such a typical cat move. Just trying to smuggle in all types of shit into a Brazilian jail. I love how the cops are like “it’s tough to find out who’s responsible because the cat doesn’t speak.” Bullshit he doesn’t speak. The reason he’s not saying anything is because this cat wasn’t working for anybody. He was trying to get control of the jail and build an army to enslave people with. It’s cat 101. Dogs want to play, get pet and have fun. Cats want to mastermind criminal enterprises. Couldn’t be more obvious. Wake up Brazil.