SHAKOPEE, Minn. (WCCO) – A Georgia man whose name recalls a popular 1970s action movie hero was arrested after allegedly assaulting police officers while drunk at a sixth-grade choir concert. Officers say that 34-year-old Billy Jack Melton, of Lakeland, Ga., was disrupting the concert and refusing to leave even when asked, then told by school officials. While in the parking lot, Melton took off his shirt and challenged the school principal to a fight, the criminal complaint says, before apparently attempting to drive away from the school parking lot with a woman and a 5-year-old child in the vehicle. Officers were on the scene when Melton got out of the vehicle and went to the passenger side, in what appeared to be an attempt to switch spots. After noting alcohol on Melton’s breath, officers ordered Melton to leave the vehicle. He refused, the charges state. When an officer tried to physically remove him from the vehicle, Melton swung at the officer’s face with a closed fist. Two other officers tried to assist the first officer to subdue Melton, who by this point was swinging his arms wildly, the complaint says. Melton pushed one officer back onto a nearby vehicle and threw another backwards.While officers continued to try and place Melton under arrest, he made a grab for one of their guns, charges state. The officer was able to maintain control of his firearm and pistol-whipped Melton in the face.

This reminds me one of those Direct TV ads. “When your cable company keeps you on hold, you get angry. When you get angry, you go blow off steam. When you go blow off steam, accidents happen.When accidents happen, you get an eye-patch. When you get an eye-patch, people think you’re tough. When people think you’re tough, people want to see how tough.When people want to see how tough, you wake up in a roadside ditch. Don’t end up in a roadside ditch, get Direct TV”

When you have a kid you end up at a 6th grade choir concert. When you have to go to a 6th grade choir concert you drink. When you drink at a 6th grade choir concert you try to fight the principal. When you try to fight the principal they call the cops. When they call the cops you try to steal their gun. When you try to steal their gun they pistol whip you.  Don’t end up getting pistol whipped. Don’t have kids.