Does This Look Like The Face Of A Golfer Who Attacked The Group In Front Of Him For Malingering On The Greens?
Jacksonville – A battle erupted Saturday on the 18th green of the Jacksonville Beach Municipal Golf Course, but it had nothing to do with winning. Police arrested a 61-year-old Jacksonville man after witnesses said he slammed his golf cart into a group of bachelor partygoers, whacked one with his golf club and started a brawl. At one point James Alonzo Hines shouted he was a veteran of the course and complained about the group taking too long, Hampe said.”The first thing he said was, ‘You need to respect your elders,’ ” said Hampe, 27, of Jacksonville Beach. They were among six friends celebrating the May 5 wedding of buddy Donald Salsbery. Hampe said the group, some of whom had just learned how to golf, had a few drinks at a nearby bar and joined Salsbery for the mid-afternoon golf outing at his request. The other group — two older men and two older women — were golfing behind the partygoers, said witness Justin Ravel. Ravel, who saw the initial confrontation from the 18th tee, said one of the women told him they had become incensed with the younger golfers driving on the greens and holding up their game. “She said they weren’t playing the game right and that clearly ticked them [Hines' party] off,” Ravel said. Hines’ arrest report said an argument between the groups involved the younger golfers driving, drinking and “malingering” on the greens. He said Hines then began hitting balls at them from about 200 yards away. One of the balls was heaved back at Hines, who then hopped in his cart and headed for the group, police and witnesses said. Ravel, 23, said he heard the shouting, saw a golf ball fly back and forth and then watched as Hines drove into the group. “He drove the cart as fast as it could go,” Ravel said.Hampe said he jumped out of his cart just before Hines ran over his leg and slammed into Hankin, pinning him against another cart.”He ran right over my buddy and caught me, too,” Hampe said. “He went full bore.” Hampe said he was then struck by the club and saw Hines grab for another. Ravel said he arrived about that time to see Hines and a companion holding clubs over their heads and their female partners also brandishing clubs. Hampe said his friends jumped on Hines to protect him and the group tumbled into a sand trap. Police arrived moments later.
To quote Peter McNeeley if you don’t respect this old geezer for attacking the group in front of him for malingering on the greens than you sir have a big dump in your pants. Like I only needed to read one sentence to know this guy was in the right;
“Six friends at a bachelor party who had a few drinks beforehand and just learned to golf.”
Yikes. Talk about hell on earth. I can’t even imagine sitting behind that sixsome for 4 hours. At some point you have to snap and that’s exactly what this old battle ax did. I ain’t mad at him. I’d do the same exact fucking thing if I were him. And I just hope the First Lady would have my back like this guy’s wife did. Don’t ask questions. Just come in clubs ablazzing. That’s the type of ride or die bitch I need.


I’m with you Pres, only time I want to be behind a 6some is when Renee is on all fours taking on the Pats offensive line.
wtf are 6 people playing in a group and who the fk drives on the greens who isnt legally retarted. i would of jumped in with that old dude in a heartbeat.
As an avid golfer I can honestly say almost nothing in this world angers me more than a slow shitty group in front of me. We used to always hit up on slow asshole groups that wouldn’t let us play through, but one day we realized how dangerous that really is. Point is, if you suck, pick up your damn ball and move on so the people that can actually golf don’t have to suffer all day. This guy is now one of my idols.
Play through?
Someone’s drunk, taking too long, and trashing the greens? Call the clubhouse.
The only real reason i’ve ever had to fight someone on the golf course was when a group repeatedly hits into you. Then, it’s warranted.
I will say though I was a guest at a private course with my cousin and we got stuck behind an 8-some on the 15th green. I guess 2 foursomes knew each other and joined up. Ever seen 8 people on a green before? It looks ridiculous. Anyway, they wouldn’t let us play thru as a twosome, so we just skipped a hole and walked in front of them b/c it was getting dark. One of them had the balls to give us shit about it on the 17th tee. Buddy, you’re part of an 8-some, you can’t say anything. You’re a goddamn disgrace.
yea that looks like the face of a golf alright
Why yes that does look like the face of a GOLF.
I fucking hate when people malinger. Such a pet peeve of mine.
Malinger: to pretend or exaggerate incapacity or illness (as to avoid duty or work)
Pres, it’s called English. Try it some time.
The average 6-yr old mexican refugee can read and write better. How the hell did you graduate high school, nevermind get into Michigan?
As someone who could give a shit about golf, nothing amuses me more than the people who get bent when you crap all over their sacred game. If you’re not drinking a 12 pack while you golf, then you, sir, have a vagina where your cock should be. A private club may be one thing, but if you’re taking this shit that seriously on a muni course, you’re not mad at the other folders, you’re mad at your own miserable station in life.
Isn’t the point of golfing to go out and enjoy yourself on a nice sunny day? Not to friggin go ballistic when the group in front of you is slow. Obviously the six-some guys were morons, but is it really worth fighting about? I don’t get these diehards who brag about how quickly they can get 18 in. I golf to get away from shit, not to run through the course as fast as possible. Friggin old people suck…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZwr4xLajfA
Even better, fucking geeds.
Not sure what is worse a bunch of 25 year olds drunk who never played golf playing slow or Assholes that get mad its not the PGA tour.
Nothing worse than getting 6 hours away from the wife and kids and having a bunch of dildos in front of you making the round two hours longer than it should be. That eats into your time to go to the Foxy and then get a rub and tug. I would say the old guy was dead on but he was golfing with his wife. She was probably complaining all day to make him go ballistic on the 18th.
Cookie puss nailed it. The ladies probably drove that old man to the brink, complaining. I’m bringing pepper spray next time I go golfing and maybe a machete.
6-some on the golf course better all be 2 handicaps or lower. Otherwise, they eat my 9 Iron.
People who think golf is something to do either while or after you get loaded need to be eliminated from the planet. Plain and simple.
Other than a 4some, there is no standing on the golf course.
You want to play through because you’re in a 2some following a 4some — tough shit.
You want to get drunk and play a 6-some, then you get what you deserve: a 2-iron to the forehead.
there’s alot wrong with this story..i shoot low 80s consistent..but females on the golf course are just as bad as not getting to play through..El Pres’ next skills competition..Golf course against a chick..
Prison break villian, anyone?
Dro mans grandpa
Dro golfs with a tire iron.
@Iron Eagle can i have that 45 seconds of my life back i spent reading your comment?
It took you 45 seconds to read that? Did you go to Michigan too?
Clint – see my point above. On the off chance you’re not 200% full of shit, please confront another group of golfers asap so I can read about it on the stool by the end of the week. Fridays are usually kind of slow for me and I like to be entertained. And, if you don’t mind, please flash your sandy vagina when you’re getting out of the cart.
Cunt.