Dallas – A state district judge ordered disbarred Dallas attorney Tom Corea back in jail this morning because he allegedly trashed his Design District office and drew penises all over the walls after being evicted last month. Corea was charged earlier this year with four felonies alleging he stole from his clients. He was arrested, posted bond and was released. Weeks later, he was evicted for not paying rent for his upscale office in the 2000 block of Farrington Street near Interstate 35E and Market Center Boulevard, according to testimony before state District Judge Mike Snipes. Corea was ordered out by Oct. 31. When the president of the real estate company that represents the building, Doug Molny, showed up the next day to check out the property, he found “complete destruction,” including “penis graffiti on every single wall throughout the building,” Molny said. Written next to some of the penises was the name Doug. Molny said it appeared someone took a sledgehammer to granite counters. Doors, light fixtures, cabinets and appliances were destroyed or removed. There was feces and urine on the floor, Molny said. Corea, who did not testify, was wearing a dark suit and sitting next to attorney John Gussio. At one point while Molny was testifying, Snipes ordered Corea to “refrain from making faces at the witness.”

I hope all my potential future landlords are reading this because I can’t state this strongly enough. If you evict me from anywhere and don’t have the police walk me out of the building I guarantee you that I’m going to draw penises all over the walls before I leave and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself. That’s why you always escort the person out and change the locks. It’s eviction 101. If you let an evicted dude back inside it’s automatic dicks on the wall 100% of the time. Automatic.

PS – Since when can’t you make faces at people in court? It’s like the judge was just making up laws as he went along.