If the London Olympics Wanted To Get My Attention With This Anti American Proganda Well Mission Accomplished
Listen everybody knows I hate the Olympics. I generally hate all sports that non sports fans suddenly become interested in like the Olympics, World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. My wife does this. I can’t get her to sit through one inning of a Red Sox game (granted that’s hard for anybody nowadays) but she’ll watch squids compete in kayaking or something. Just a bunch of clown pseudo athletes who got cut from their JV football team acting all tough because they row. Get over yourself Winklevoss. Anybody could be in the Olympics if they felt like training their whole lives for some fake ass hobby.
But having said that there is nothing I relish more than being the Ugly American. Like if I had a yacht I’d paint it red white and blue and have the Star Spangled Banner blaring at all times as I sailed into the French Riviera and shit. The louder and more obnoxious I can be the better. Picture Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack. That’s how I’d act. So now that I see this tote bag making fun of Americans my attitude is starting to change. Guess what London? Now yis can’t leave. Now I want Charles Barkley to start elbowing Angola in the throat again just because he can. Just start massacring people. Wave flags right in people’s eyeballs. I don’t care if we’re talking judo, fencing, archery, equestrian, or some other fake ass sport that’s not even a sport I want to destroy people and be rude as fuck doing it. America Fuck Yeah!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGuhZvO1DKg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Brilliant
On point, good work pres
“there’s nothing I relish more than being the Ugly American”
mission accomplished fatty
Where can I buy one of these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8zO_DV09QE
All talk EP. Easy to pull that kinda shizz at Nantucket but it takes a-whole-nother level of balls to do it on an international front. Plus… brittish hooligans
was in barcelona for a week last month and sure enough, every obese person we saw was american. dont see any problem with this.
Team USA DOMINATES the Olympics, if we didn’t just accept these countries as inferior, we probably would be rubbing our shit in their faces. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All-time_Olympic_Games_medal_table Team USA has more than double total medals than the limp dick Russians who are 2nd overall. Same goes for Gold Medals too. In fact we’ve got more than #2 and #3 combined in everything.
This is my attitude every Olympics/World Cup. The only reason I want the USA to get great at soccer and other random sports is because it’s the best thing ever to watch the rest of the world squirm when we do that to them.
Just being the best at everything. Doesn’t matter that I hate soccer, what matters is that the good ol’US of A is A #1.
What are we favored to win the medal count by? 50?
too bad brits are fatasses too
LOL @ the UK, no dental insurance, they all look like ate popcorn and cheese for breakfast
This is why I love the olympics. Because of my pure hate for the other countries. i hope france doesnt win one fucking medal. pieces of shit. fuck england, china and japan too. Every four years we get to let the other countries bend down and we get to go to town on their assholes. america, fuck yes
You should go over there and wear a half-shirt exposing your pink, tubby belly and love handles. Having a fat round belly is totally part of being the ugly American, right? Fucking rock that thing in front of those vegetarian Euroweenies, fatty.
rodney in caddyshack is a fucking classic. “hey, sweetheart…wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?”
if we were to ever win the gold medal in men’s soccer or the world cup the entire world might as well just surrender because we’ll have won everything
i want a bag that says “I’m in a Brit’s flat… where’s the toothpaste”
My daughter wanted to do an exchange-student thingy with the UK but we said no. Because every girl over there is a heroin addict and pregnant.
Hey…anything they can do, I can do better.
I can’t wait to see who wins the artistic dance gold medal.
fuck yeah, pres. fuck yeah.
I want to rent one of those flats in London and play a little game called “where did I take a shit”.
PS. Solid Bronx reference.
^Bronx Tale
brit food has got to be the most unhealthy on the planet.
@bdemps and @will ftw.
Don’t these other countries realize they’d be speaking German or Japanese (btw, you’re welcome, China) if it wasn’t for us? Of course they do, they’re just jealous. Ungrateful bastards.
If you travel out of the country at all, you quickly realize that America has become a country of fat asses. Not hating…… just admitting the truth.
Spent three years in Germany. They are all thin. I thought they’d be fat, like Sgt. Schultz and The Burgermeister Misterburger, but they were all thin. Americans are fat, but so are Brits. Most of the rest of Europe is thin. You don’t see any morbid obesity over there.
^amazing burgermeister meisterburger reference
http://www2.macleans.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/burgermeister-meisterburger.jpg
I hate to admit it but yeah we’re pretty fucking fat. The abundance of motorized scooters being used for non disabled people is proof of that
at least our teeth don’t look like chuck norris round housed us 9 times in a row and then shit down our throat while drinking yellow dye. Fuck you England, Didn’t we kick your fucking ass in….. every war, then save your ass Twice? Last time i checked there also isn’t one fucking “english restaurant” because all their fucking food sucks gigantic dicks.
EP got me fired u here. Now I want blood. I want children crying in the streets. I want the carnage from these Olympics to make the London riots look like water balloon fight. Now someone wake up Whitney Houston and cue the fucking National Anthem.
I’m renting my dentist out to London.
http://nativesusa.com/
Fuck yeah!
china will have more medals than us…gold ones too
What the fuck are you talking about thebigleoski? China has four times as many citizens as we do, yet we have five times as many medals. It’s fun to travel, but America kicks ass. Where would the world be without us. And we may be fat, but who cares. We’ve earned it.
solid medal count chart. just pieced together that #2 isnt russia, its the soviet union. they had a pretty nice run, eh? almost half our entire medal count in close to 1/3 of the number of games competed in. and theyre still #2 overall and havent added any medals since 1988.
the more you know
A+ Blog, Bravo Bravo
In the old days being fat was a sign of wealth & power.. Now give me another steak!
“You scratched my anchor!”
not to mention the Brits suck, they cant do anything without the US.