If the London Olympics Wanted To Get My Attention With This Anti American Proganda Well Mission Accomplished
Listen everybody knows I hate the Olympics. I generally hate all sports that non sports fans suddenly become interested in like the Olympics, World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. My wife does this. I can’t get her to sit through one inning of a Red Sox game (granted that’s hard for anybody nowadays) but she’ll watch squids compete in kayaking or something. Just a bunch of clown pseudo athletes who got cut from their JV football team acting all tough because they row. Get over yourself Winklevoss. Anybody could be in the Olympics if they felt like training their whole lives for some fake ass hobby.
But having said that there is nothing I relish more than being the Ugly American. Like if I had a yacht I’d paint it red white and blue and have the Star Spangled Banner blaring at all times as I sailed into the French Riviera and shit. The louder and more obnoxious I can be the better. Picture Rodney Dangerfield from Caddyshack. That’s how I’d act. So now that I see this tote bag making fun of Americans my attitude is starting to change. Guess what London? Now yis can’t leave. Now I want Charles Barkley to start elbowing Angola in the throat again just because he can. Just start massacring people. Wave flags right in people’s eyeballs. I don’t care if we’re talking judo, fencing, archery, equestrian, or some other fake ass sport that’s not even a sport I want to destroy people and be rude as fuck doing it. America Fuck Yeah!