WHPTV – When the Central Penn Piranha makes a house call, the objective is to smother you. Piranha players and coaches simply refer to John Taylor as “House.” He’s built, however, more like a mansion: Taylor stands 6’11″ and claims to weigh 500 lbs. Makes you wonder what the other big guys on the team say when they line up across from him for the very first time? “I said, ‘Who is this man blocking out the sun?’” recalls offensive lineman Vincent McDuffy, who’s 6’5″ and weighs 372 lbs. We’ll tell you who he is. “House” is possibly the largest player in the history of football — at any level. “Don’t run my way; pretty much that’s what I do (on defense),” said Taylor. That’s a simple philosophy from someone who makes things very complex. Taylor is a defensive lineman for the Piranha, one of the most successful teams in the Gridiron Developmental Football League (GDFL); a minor league consisting of roughly 40 clubs, stretching from Pennsylvania to Florida. “House” has a simple job on defense — take up space. An offense can’t block, what an offense can’t see. “If they can’t see the linebackers, they don’t where they coming from, the offensive linemen,” said Ron Kerr, the owner and head coach of the Piranha. “He has to be double-teamed. He’s too big not to be.”
I know both Philly and the U already did this blog, but I think both of them missed the point. How bad does it have to suck to be this dude? Like there is no group of people I scoff at more in life than tall people who don’t play sports. If you’re 6’5 or taller and aren’t a pro athlete than I don’t even want to look at you. Just a total waste of space. Give me that height and I’ll be a 9 sport pro athlete. This motherfucker is 6’11 5 bills and doesn’t even start on his minor league football team. How is that even possible? Seriously how does House look himself in the mirror at night? Bottom-line is if you are this big and can’t win the starting nose tackle position on your semi pro team than it’s time to hang up the cleats. At least that way you can pretend you had a major knee injury or just hate sports or something. Save what little pride you have left. Otherwise shit is just embarrassing.