Introducing House the 6’11 500 LB Semi Pro Football Player
WHPTV – When the Central Penn Piranha makes a house call, the objective is to smother you. Piranha players and coaches simply refer to John Taylor as “House.” He’s built, however, more like a mansion: Taylor stands 6’11″ and claims to weigh 500 lbs. Makes you wonder what the other big guys on the team say when they line up across from him for the very first time? “I said, ‘Who is this man blocking out the sun?’” recalls offensive lineman Vincent McDuffy, who’s 6’5″ and weighs 372 lbs. We’ll tell you who he is. “House” is possibly the largest player in the history of football — at any level. “Don’t run my way; pretty much that’s what I do (on defense),” said Taylor. That’s a simple philosophy from someone who makes things very complex. Taylor is a defensive lineman for the Piranha, one of the most successful teams in the Gridiron Developmental Football League (GDFL); a minor league consisting of roughly 40 clubs, stretching from Pennsylvania to Florida. “House” has a simple job on defense — take up space. An offense can’t block, what an offense can’t see. “If they can’t see the linebackers, they don’t where they coming from, the offensive linemen,” said Ron Kerr, the owner and head coach of the Piranha. “He has to be double-teamed. He’s too big not to be.”
I know both Philly and the U already did this blog, but I think both of them missed the point. How bad does it have to suck to be this dude? Like there is no group of people I scoff at more in life than tall people who don’t play sports. If you’re 6’5 or taller and aren’t a pro athlete than I don’t even want to look at you. Just a total waste of space. Give me that height and I’ll be a 9 sport pro athlete. This motherfucker is 6’11 5 bills and doesn’t even start on his minor league football team. How is that even possible? Seriously how does House look himself in the mirror at night? Bottom-line is if you are this big and can’t win the starting nose tackle position on your semi pro team than it’s time to hang up the cleats. At least that way you can pretend you had a major knee injury or just hate sports or something. Save what little pride you have left. Otherwise shit is just embarrassing.
just when i think you’re not a shitty blogger you always prove me wrong. Thanks pres
Wait, u dont wanna look at a bro if he is tall as shit, not playing sports? But you will hire one? Hmmm, TallOne.
Semi pro football is the biggest joke in the world of sports. There is nothing professional about it. A good JV high school team would run circles around these punks.
Wait, u dont wanna look at a bro if he is tall as shit, not playing sports? So does that mean you want to look at/ check out tall bros who play sports? Or check out shorter bros who may or may not play sports? cum everywhere?
Why do you assholes keep reposting items from other Barstool sites? I already read about this on barstool Philly. Get something original you fat dork.
thank you dwilk831. its a joke. you pay to be on those teams. the real minor leagues of football are college D-1A and arena 1 like the ny dragons or the philly soul. teams like that. Anyone who brags about being semi pro is a joke
He’ll have a heart attack within five years.
I can’t believe how much of a fucktard you are…Please just stop talking, stop writing, and go live in a closet.
@broose I do not know if your being sarcastic or serious, do you really thing that the players are jokes? I laugh at people like you. Those guys literally salivate at wanting to take the head off of the opposing team. Yes, they are not at the professional level, but saying its a joke…. smh, I cannot stand people like you who think they are so much better than others.
Cuz he’s a BRICK…….!!!
@dwiilk…you do realize semi-pro teams are made out of the varsity failures who couldn’t move on right?
This guy’s dumps must be as big as feitelberg and as funny as Neil.
This guy’s dumps must be as big as feitelberg and as funny as Neil.
talk about a fat tub of shit
i played semi-pro for 7 years. i’ll never understand why it gets so much hate. is it because the word “pro” is in it? believe me, most of us don’t take ourselves that seriously, we’re just adult men who, like 99.9999% of the rest of the world, weren’t talented enough to play in the NFL, but we still want to strap up and bang. we didn’t make up the name “semi-pro”, so aim that animosity elsewhere. there were a few kids in our league that had tried out for NFL teams, a handful of ex-CFL or Arena guys, and probably about half have college football experience. talk all the shit you want, but what the fuck are YOU doing athletically past your early 20s??? slow pitch softball? pickup basketball at the park? tuesday night volleyball at your gym? did you just become the “how much ya bench?” guy in the weight room? get the fuck out of here. do people heckle you for not being a pro at those sports? and even though we’re not the cream of the crop (shame on us, right?) we still lay people the fuck out. two of my teammates hit a kid from the front and back simultaneously four or five years ago and broke his back. that’s some real shit right there, kid was lucky he didn’t catch a spinal cord injury. not saying that to say we’re tough guys, it’s just to illustrate that we’re out there putting our bodies on the line the same way the NFL guys do, except we have our real jobs to go to on monday. and we don’t make a goddamn dime from it, we’re just guys who love the game.
basically, if some guy walks up trying to big-time you because he plays semi-pro, then fine, shit on that kid all you want. don’t let him tell you how “he would have gone pro BUT (insert lame excuse)…”, cuz that dude is full of shit. but most of us don’t play for bragging rights, we play because we genuinely love the sport of football and we’re not ready to stop playing after high school/college. any of you armchair quarterbacks out there who have some shit to talk, why don’t you channel that energy into putting your money where your mouth is and strap up and step between the lines and see how pussy semi-pro players are. we might not run sub-4.6 40s like the pros do, but i think you’re seriously underestimating the mindset of guys who would rather spend their weekend banging heads than relaxing at home.
Yo Dro, Preziden is a pro surfer, remember? When ur crushin 4 foot breakers at Nantucket then you have earned the right to talk shit, right? With that said, i agree with ya dude. And unfortunetly i also hafto agree with 561boys, except the “smh” thing. That was kinda gay. But then again, Im not hip to the abbreviation thing goin on in this country today.
check out the smoke on barstoolu straight ten
For all of you who don’t want to read ilivebarstoolsports’s novella, allow me to summarize.
He is basically saying he is a straw dog.
haha, true dat, goddy. kelly slater ain’t got shit on el pres. he might surf well, but he wasn’t inspired by watching Swayze in Point Break, and he definitely doesn’t have self-proclaimed surfer hair.
thanks for paraphrasing, peytonsucksballs…strong reading comprehension skills with this guy!
i’m basically saying that if you have any animosity toward the average semi-pro football player you should look yourself in the mirror real hard and try to come up with something you do athletically that’s more impressive. if you can’t, then shut the fuck the up. PRO athletes can laugh at us all day. hell, i’ll even take some guff from current college ballers. but the rest of you idiots should shut your suckhole until you’re competing in a contact sport in your adult life. what have you couch potatoes done that’s so fucking impressive that dudes minding their own business playing a game they love look pathetic to you? to us, it looks like you have some kind of complex.
ayo @ilovebarstoolsports this should help you out a bit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toxIiMWQgKA
Sorry Dro but that^^^ was kinda funny.
If you tell a 6’5 non professional athlete that he is a waste of space in person. You will end up with a broken nose and blood coming out of your eyeballs your jewish piece of shit
@ilovebarstool, semi-pro football players are the worst. I’m in a flag football league and half are “semi-pro” players, that suck balls and they all think they are hot shit.
good stuff, swaggah33. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22YWYAtcyEA
godzirra, how would you know? have you ever played REAL football against them? i have a few stories of my own involving kids who thought they were hot shit in flag league and got fucking destroyed in semi-pro and didn’t last the week cuz they couldn’t hang with the contact. did a flag league player really just try to attack full-contact football? that takes some fucking stones. so what you’re saying is that semi-pro football is a joke…but FLAG FUCKING FOOTBALL is real deal Holyfield??? look, bro, that sad truth is that most of us in the world are amateurs as athletes at best…semi-pro, flag football, beer league softball, whatever. and i’m on board with clowning anyone who takes any of that too seriously. i had a teammate who would be on the phone seconds after the game ended, with a friend or some chick he was trying to impress, and he’d be like “yo, i’m telling you, if there were NFL scouts here today i would have got signed” and we’d all mock the shit out of him. anybody would, that’s ridiculous. but if a dude just happens to be on a team, what’s pathetic about that? by that logic we should all be hanging out at our local country clubs yelling in people’s backswing that they suck and Tiger and Lefty are better. all that shit just reeks of insecurity to me.
I don’t think he was necessarily saying flag football was the real deal anything….more that some of these dudes that played semi-pro receiver were showing up to flag thinking they were hot shit…and then going out and dropping balls left and right, running awful routes, etc.
i think we’re straying off away from the point that prez is a fucktard and thinks that a 500 lb guy = starting nose tackle on a team of (i’m taking ilovebarstoolsports’ word for it) athletic men who can run faster than this ginormous block of human, and are also very large….just not 6’11 and 500 lbs.
Prez, if you were 6’11″ then your nose would be abotu 3’5″,, it be physically impossible to play football.
@Ilovebarstoolsports
quit embarrassing yourself bud, you’re fulfilling every stereotype people have about “semi-pro” football players
“we still lay people the fuck out. two of my teammates hit a kid from the front and back simultaneously four or five years ago and broke his back. that’s some real shit right there, kid was lucky he didn’t catch a spinal cord injury. ”
HARDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO