PAWTUCKET, R.I. Scottie dog has a new nemesis in Monopoly after fans voted in an online contest to add a cat token to the property trading game, replacing the iron, toy maker Hasbro Inc. announced Wednesday. The vote on Facebook closed just before midnight on Tuesday, marking the first time that fans have had a say on which of the eight tokens to add and which one to toss. The pieces identify the players and have changed quite a lot since Parker Brothers bought the game from its original designer in 1935.

Dark day for monopoly. Dark day for America. Seriously this is nothing short of a national tragedy. Because let me make one thing clear. The only thing that matches my love of dogs is my hatred of cats. I mean look at that fucker. All smug and shit. Thinks his shit don’t stink. Thinks he’s better than me. Probably wants to play monopoly by himself too. Like no human partner. Building hotels before he’s built houses on his property and shit. Just cheating and swindling his way through the game. Seriously what type of maniac would pick the cat? What message does that send? Hi I’m the cat and I’m here to be miserable and ruin everybody’s fun? Awesome dude. The only good news is I don’t think anybody has bought a new monopoly board since 1982 so the cat will rarely see the light of day.

PS – Fuck you KFC.