Well I’m beyond confused right now. I absolutely can’t wrap my mind around the fact Leonardo Dicaprio swims with his shirt on. I can’t fathom it. I can’t understand it. I’m at a total and complete loss. I know for a fact that only squids swim with their shirts on. Like it will get dark tonight. Squids swim with their shirts on. Both are statements of fact. But Leonardo Dicaprio is not a squid. He’s the opposite of a squid. He dines with Scorsese. He fucks the hottest bitches in the world. But yet he swims with his shirt on? It makes no sense. I’m spotting dimes eating onions over here. I don’t know what to think anymore. If I was Al Qaeda and wanted to turn me into a terrorist now would be the time to start playing mental games with me because I think I’d break in 30 seconds.
PS – I just saw that KFC blogged this already? Now I’m even more baffled. I blogged this last night. I was going to publish it this afternoon. There was no chance anybody else on the planet was going to blog this besides me. Did KFC and Dicaprio stage this to make me look like a fool? Has KFC bugged my apartment? Something stinks to high heavens here and I won’t rest till I figure out what it is.
Double PS – Hey Jonah Hill I see you. I just don’t give a fuck.