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If someone has a friend send an email this long about how they dress like a piece of shit, they prob need a new wardrobe.
Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Today’s Contestant




Reader Email
Pres,
This is my buddy and roommate William. We are both seniors at NYU, and he is premed/philosophy. He’s hoping to join the SEALs after graduation in May and do that for a few years before going through the medical school application process. That’s basically where the good ends. Really studious guy, but an insane goofball. He is an absolute slob. He blames it on coursework taking up all his time, but I’m at the business school at NYU with more difficult classes, and I still manage to be able to put myself together every day, so no pity there…He’s been growing his hair out for about a year now, and it looks awful. He’s greek, and went from looking like the son of a greek shipping-magnate, to now where he looks homeless. He knows it doesn’t look good but is carrying it out as a twisted “social experiment” and I am legitimately too ashamed of the way he dresses or looks to invite him out to party when I go out. Now, the way he dresses is another matter in and of himself. The kid had no shame: He does BJJ a few times per week,but proceeds to wear the same clothes from the gym out to dinner or to the library or what have you. He legitimately never washes–instead of washing his clothes, he runs to the Duane Read and buys a 5-pack of hanes white tee shirts and wears them without washing them until they are crusty and worn out, then goes out and buys another pack. He has one pair of black jeans with a hole in the crotch area from wearing them so frequently. He has gotten caught sitting on the floor or whatever with his testicle hanging out a bunch of times. He is ALWAYS wearing a ski jacket, headband, and sandals regardless of the weather, and wears the same clothes day in and day out, without watching. Legit wakes up a bit before class and smells whatever clothes are on the floor and makes a judgement call as to what smells the least. He looks like a homeless guy, which his family is ashamed of just as much as I am. He comes from a very wealthy family in Florida, and I know they are embarrassed about what he looks like considering they are from such a pretentious community. Really really nice and smart individual though, but the kind of guy who is just incredibly lazy when is comes to things he finds superficial. The pics are a great chronological story of our time together throughout college, note the hair length…
By feitelberg posted December 28th, 2012 at 5:30 PM
What the hell is bjj?
Looks fine to me
1. No way this guy makes the SEALS
2. His friend saying that his business classes are harder than Pre-med is ridiculous
Wouldn’t make it through boot camp
Nice hairband.
I want to beat him with that puppy
Neil would…
Ya I’m just going to join the seals after college. That’s about as easy as it gets, right? This kid couldn’t make it through a high school wrestling practice
eez could someone summarize this shit i didnt ask for a fucking essay
I’m surprised @rexisfat hasn’t made a joke about this kid being Greek yet.
“The pics are a great chronological story of our time together throughout college, note the hair length…”
He spent $11 on a hairband and puppy…took a nap on the subway and woke up gay?
You’re right, the “pics” do tell the whole story
business classes harder? you should both go fall on a knife 20 times
@Royal T, I was thinking the exact same thing. I thought for a few minutes and my guess is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or however you spell it. Awesome how the D-bag submitter abbreviated it, like it’s so common.
Pretty sure you can’t “do the SEALs for a few years”. I think that’s a pretty serious commitment/enlistment process. Total BS submission. This kid just needs a shower and a haircut.
When you look/dress like this kid you clearly have zero interest in getting laid.
Wait, when did I log on to BroBilbe?
BJJ? Premed/business course difficulty…
Kid needs a free wardrobe like his parents need another tuition bill.
Actually wouldn’t matter to either of them.
Such a shit blog. Firing everyone except for BigCat and Neil.
Kramerica, amazing username on here, but obviously you have never heard of Stern. Stern coursework will make any doctor’s head spin.
It only took 362 days, but we have our 2012 winner for gayest thing on Barstool.
“Really studious guy, but an insane goofball.”
umbrella drinks and girls’ headbands are a good 1st step for application to the SEALs. what an asshole.
Milton’s can’t do a damn thing about his hair or the fact that he chooses his wardrobe based on what clothing has the faintest shit smell. This would be a waste of a gift card.
so he’s a rich bitch asking for a free outfit? fuck him. its legitimately immoral to give this shit anything
skrill83 with the funniest thing I have read on Barstool Sports in about 3 years.
He’s hoping to join the SEALs after graduation in May and do that for a few years……..If he’s got “a few years” why not build an F18 from scratch or just cure cancer………….asshat
I can practically taste the grease emanating from the last pic.
Gotta agree…BS post.
Stringbeans, seriously, Neil? He sucks! Big Cat is great but Neil is awful.
@dutchanfernee
It’s The Dichotomy
The comments on Neil blogs are gold and Neil is BigCat’s boss which is hilarious. Hopefully this never changes.
Neil and BigCat are TAG TEAM CHAMPS.
Dude doesn’t give a fuck which is way cooler than being some limp-wristed ween tickler who spends time and money dressing up. I’m not saying this dude is going to make the Seals, because that shit’s hard as fuck, but he plays by his own rules which means he’s got a better shot than most.
SEALS…. Few months at the Great Mistakes followed by a short career as an CS (Culinary Specialist)