Reader Email – Does this 20 Second Haircut Helmet Get This Guy Laid?
Reader Email
El pres,
I’m not going to lie. I’m kind of impressed with this. And this is coming from a guy who has cut his own hair for the past decade and is an expert in the home haircut field. Like I’d kill for a helmet that I could wear and would cut my hair in 20 seconds and I’d still come out looking as awesome as I do when I cut it. But here is the problem with this invention. I don’t care if it’s worked 1 million times straight. At some point it’s going to be malfunction and somebody is going to be stuck with a helmet that is grinding razor blades into their skull. And don’t even think of trying to take the helmet off when that happens either. Nope shit is going to attach itself to your brain and slowly bleed you to death. That’s not a guess. That’s science talking. Like I’ve seen enough movies to know whenever you push technology too far somebody dies and that’s exactly what’s going to happen here at some point.
PS – I’m basically blogging with one wing right now on some mini ass computer. I can’t get adjusted. I can’t get a feel for what’s funny or whether I’m making any sense or what. Every since I spilled that coffee I’ve been behind the chains all day long and can’t fix it. I need this week to be over ASAP so I can regroup.
you’re not funny – does that help?
fake as shit video – no way that piece of shit can shave anybody’s head.
He has an accent. I think he’s Russian. Or Martian.
Color me impressed when he makes one of those helmets for my balls.
it shaves your fucking melon, it can’t style your hair
i’m with carl. i’ll take a ball buffer.
Detox, you still suck balls for smack?
this probably gets him laid…by the camera man who gets himself in the mirror at the end
What, the Remington hand-held electric clippers aren’t fast enough for this guy? I mean, with the level of genius this guy is obviously blessed with he couldn’t invent some kind of fellatio machine instead? Nope. He goes for the “shave-10-seconds-off-your-30-second-jarhead-hair-cut” machine (no pun intended but totally intended). Yeah dude, like that thing is a valuable contribution to humanity.
What if Mr. Columbus thought a buzzcut was more important than mowing down a whole race of Native Americans? What if Mr. Guilotine thought a hairless head was more important than a headless peasant? What if Mr. Pasteur thought a pasture-ized dome was more important than pasteurized moojuice?
And we wonder why China and Bangladesh are trimming into our lead as the #1 country in the world on a daily basis?
No, it does not get him laid. Why the fuck would a hair shaving helmet ever get anyone laid? For one thing, you need fucking hair to get laid in the first place, so if anything, this helmet ruins your chances. These “get me laid” blogs are getting really fucking dumb. They were funny when I used to read them and say to myself “i bet that does actually get this dude laid”. I havent said that to myself since that 2004 North Carolina Demolition derby state champ jacket like a year ago.
spongebob made an invention kinda like this…obviously his went terribly wrong. Go to the 3 min mark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYbn7co8qek
you know youre a jew when youre too cheap to pay for a fuckin haircut….fuckin portnoy never cease to amaze
Must be the same guy that invented the Suck-Cut?? TURN IT OFF MAN! ITS SUCKING MY WILL TO LIVE!
murphy’s law
pres you rockin the flowbee?
my hair grows fast. my friends call me chia pet but fuck them because i’m never going bald bitches. my friend could use a ball shaver. he hates shaving his balls and it looks like a 5 year old was drunk and shaved his crotch area. i have pictures to prove it.