St Marys - An outbreak of mold at St. Mary’s College of Maryland this fall presented a logistical nightmare: There was nowhere to put the students. Hotels are scarce around the remote campus. Then, an alumnus of this sailing-intensive school had an idea: Put them in a cruise ship. The Sea Voyager, described on this Web site as having three bars, a restaurant and a gift shop, was on the block, and it was being moved from Maine to Virginia. St. Mary’s President Joseph Urgo made some phone calls. The Sea Voyager is now headed to his campus, where it will serve as off-shore dormitory space for 250 students until the end of the semester.  The ship is entering the Chesapeake Bay this morning and should reach historic St. Mary’s by Friday morning.  Urgo evacuated the students from the buildings a week ago and put them in three nearby hotels. But there are few hotels near campus; the farthest is at Solomon’s Island, nearly 20 miles away.   Negotiations are not yet complete, but it appears that renting the cruise ship will cost about the same as the hotel rooms, which are setting the college back $20,000 a day. The funds will come from the school’s reserves. A few students are fretful about the move amid preparations for papers and exams, but the overall reaction has been “jubilation, for the most part,” Urgo said. “Their rooms will be a little bit smaller, but they’ll have full use of all the amenities on the ship, the ball room, the state room, the shuffleboard,” and linen service every three days.


You know something is good when even in your wildest dreams you couldn’t imagine it.  Like yeah you may win the lottery one day.   But have your dorm magically become a Carnival Cruise Ship?  No chance.   I literally can’t think of a better way to start your college career than getting posted up in a cruise ship for free for a whole semester.   It’s like you think your summer vacation is over, time to show up to school and start doing homework BOOM another vacation.   Don’t care where it is, what kind of ship it is, what the weather is like all I heard is the words CRUISE SHIP and that’s what’s up.   How jealous are all the other idiots at St. Marys?   Hey bro how’s the library?  I’m on a motherfucking CRUISE SHIP!  Island hopping around in my board shorts spitting game at bitches by the pool slugging Mai Tais out of a hollowed out pineapple.   Like I give a fuck that it’s mid November in Maryland.  Winter is a state of mind.  Cruise ship chillin like I’m in the south of France during Yacht Week.   No joke I wouldn’t even contemplate opening a textbook the whole semester, just do that mini wave pool surfboard thing for 8 hours a day.

No idea what it’s called but that thing KILLS it!  Plus you heard the man, all amenities included.  Baller.   Seriously I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be sarcastic like oh wow they have full use of the shuffleboard whoop de doo.   Have you actually ever played shuffleboard or do you just go based off stereotypes and old people?  Shuffleboard fuckin rules.  I’d play shuffleboard right now in my apartment, on a beach, at a club at night, basically anywhere.  Fire game for all ages.   Honestly getting stuck on a cruise ship full of young slutty coeds is something I would pay money for as a 24 year old let alone get “evacuated” and “forced” to live there in college.

And yeah I know  there are some negatives about this like maybe you get seasick or don’t exactly want to be living on the water in a frozen harbor in November and December studying for your finals while you’re rocking back and forth trying to hook up with sluts while you smell like sea bass.  But if you think like that then you are a pessimistic asshole who would never be invited to my cruise ship vacation party.