teampizzabig

 

PostandCourier – A suicidal man who threatened to jump off the Ravenel Bridge is now in custody, Mount Pleasant police Maj. Stan Gragg said. He was apprehended five hours after the situation began and shortly after authorities provided him with a pizza for lunch.

Pizza never ceases to amaze me. Like honestly what can’t pizza do? Guy has been standing on the edge of a bridge for 5 hours getting ready to jump.  The best hostage negotiators and psychologists in the city have been pleading with him and nothing is getting through.  So what do the cops do?  They wave a hot pie in front of him and bingo bango that’s the end of that.  Bottomline is I don’t care how crazy you are nobody is crazy enough to kill themselves with a fresh pizza staring them in the face.  I’d love to see a burrito do that. No chance. No how.

PS – I’ve never understood why it’s a police issue to prevent somebody from committing suicide in the first place. If you want to kill yourself knock yourself out.  I’m not gonna waste a slice on your sorry ass. Just don’t injure anybody else and you got the green light from me. Seems like committing suicide should be a first amendment right.