The NY Bro Who Made A Spreadsheet Of All the Chicks He Met On Match.com Is All The Rage Right Now
Hi Girls,
Wanted to pass this on to you for some monday morning entertainment.
I went on a date with this guy last wednesday. On the date, he tells me that he has a spreadsheet for tracking all of the people from match that are “in process”. Naturally, I tease him and ask him to send me the spreadsheet. For some strange reason, he actually does. See below/attached.
Just when I thought I had seen it all….
xoxo
Enjoy!
This is the latest email chain to float around the interweb. A true, blue old fashioned email chain that says “FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:” when you receive it because its just been sent around every office and every group of friends out there. All the girls forwarding it around are like “OMG!” “This is insane!” “Can you believe this?”
Um, yes I can believe this. Do you know how hard it is to get laid? Do you know how important it is? Its probably the hardest and most important thing out there. So why would you not manage it with a detailed excel sheet? Budgeting your expenses is hard and important. You use excel for that, right? Virtually everything you do at work is hard and important. You’re on excel all day every day in your cube, no? It only makes sense to keep your dating life updated on excel as well. How else can you keep “Arielle” and “Adrienne” in order? What about “courtney” and “Cindy?” Those are easy mixups. You expect this dude to remember off the top of his head who’s an 8 and who’s an 8.5? Gotta remember who initiated conversation and who stood you up and who’s from Romania and who has a great bod. This means color coding and comments in each cell and whatever else can help you keep your love life organized.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy has filters and Vlookups modeled into this shit for easy analysis. Probably has an inputs tab to put in various criteria to search through all these sluts. Looking for an 8.5 or higher, between the ages of 24 and 26, great bod, isn’t too jappy and has NOT talked with Eliot Spitzer – refresh that pivot table and bingo bango looks like CindyNYC86 is the one!
So I’ll open up the convo what’s the deal with dating sites? Easy lays that occasionally
Can be attractive or not worth the trouble
the spreadsheet sucks. ultra basic. no vlookups or anything fancy. kinda sucks.
+ 5 live points to KFC for not being a total degenerate and referencing pivot tables and vlookups. I bet ElPres doesn’t even know how to use a sum formula.
Why is this on Boston…KFC?
too Jappy my ass.
http://www.facebook.com/marisajacoby?sk=wall
^Pretty sure it says too yappy, Einstein.
No, it says “Jappy”. She looks like an annoying Yenta. Pass. She’s probably good for a Yid, though. They have lower standards because they realize most women don’t want anything to do with a Jewish guy.
CindyNYC86 is only a 7.5 not an 8.5. Clean it up.
macros4days
boo jewish american princesses
Wow, a KFC blog that incorporates a few words from his brief and inglorious professional career. And to think it only took 3 years.
This is clearly a guy who networked hard for his job.
Dating online is the greatest invention ever for people over 26. You will find that women starting breaking up with their college boyfriends once they realize:
1. Guy was a party animal in college and he never stopped.
2. Guy cheated on her
3. They don’t want to be stuck with this dude forever, dumped
4. They get dumped by the guy because they working now, and not the horny college girl they met.
It leaves a legion of women who are newly single and whose friends are all married off, so they turn to match.com or eharmony.com
It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
You really think it’s hard to get laid? Sucks for you.
tornopen speaking the truth
to add – it’s even better if you’re over 35 – cuz now the girls are on the hunt. and most don’t care if you want to marry them. some are looking at a biological clock, but if you stick with the divorced ones, they just want to get laid. I never need more than 3 dates . . . And the older ones are cool and no BS cuz they’ve been around the block.
great invention !!