NEW YORK (AP) – A beauty queen who claimed this year’s Miss USA contest was fixed has been ordered to pay the pageant organization $5 million for defamation. In a decision signed last week, an arbitrator found that the comments from Miss Pennsylvania USA Sheena Monnin were false, harmful and malicious. Monnin had alleged that the five finalists had been selected in advance of the pageant’s live telecast. The arbitrator, Theodore Katz, said Monnin had two motives: “She was a disgruntled contestant who failed to make it past the preliminary competition” and she objected to the pageant’s decision to allow transgender contestants. He wrote that the way the contest is judged “precludes any reasonable possibility that the judging was rigged.” Monnin, of Cranberry, Pa., resigned her state title after the pageant. Her allegations on Facebook and NBC’s “Today” show cost the pageant a $5 million fee from a potential 2013 sponsor, Katz said.

A reader sent me this question. Would you marry this chick if it meant that you had to inherit her 5 million dollar debt. It’s actually a great question. For me the answer is unequivocally no, but that’s only because I’m a mogul now. But in my pre smut peddling days when I was a run of the mill sales slug the answer would have been yes. After all isn’t the entire point of having money so you can bang chicks hotter than you?  That’s it. Well unless you’re Davey Pageviews or a pro athlete you’re never going to fuck a chick this hot anyway. So who cares if you have nothing when you’ve already outkicked your coverage beyond your wildest dreams. So I don’t care if you’re 100 million in debt. Having Miss Pennsylvania as your wife is a win in my book.