One of 1,000 reasons I’m excited for Wolf of Wall Street.
Today’s Bro Show guest. Giddy up!
(Salt Lake) — A 50-year-old St. George man is in trouble after he allegedly found a female neighbor unconscious on her front porch and allegedly claimed he had sex with her to try to warm her. Rodger William Kelly told police he inserted his penis inside the unconscious 29-year-old on May 19 because “he was trying to save her life,” according to court documents.”He said he did place it inside of her to try and get her temperature up,” police wrote in a probable cause statement filed in 5th District Court. Police told Kelly that his actions amounted to rape. He was charged Monday with one count of first-degree felony rape. Kelly told officers that he found the woman passed out in front of her apartment and brought her inside his apartment, changed her clothes and put her on his bed. He said he then lay down next to her and hugged her to try to get her temperature up because she had been outside, then attempted intercourse to warm her.
Here’s the deal: I’m not condoning fucking unconscious chicks. Not by a long shot. 999 times out of a 1000 that is the wrong move. But, this chick is alive. The story isn’t about the police finding a dead girl on her front porch. It’s about a neighbor saving a girl’s life. Sure, maybe the sex was unnecessary. Maybe he could have found other, more orthodox ways to warm up a human body. But the point is that it worked, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s not so much about how a job got done, but just that it got done.
The First Lady of Rack City.