YORK, Pa. (AP) – A couple face charges after police in York County say they stabbed each other during an argument over which contestant should win ‘American Idol.’ The York Dispatch reports 48-year-old Karen Elaine Harrelson and 57-year-old Gregory Stambaugh had been watching the show at Stambaugh’s West Manchester Township home on May 15.Police say they got into a drunken argument over which contestant – Candice Glover or Kree Harrison – should win the season’s title. Investigators say one went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and stabbed the other. The person stabbed first then grabbed the knife and stabbed the other. Investigators say each told police the other stabbed first. Now, both are being held in York County Prison on assault charges.
And people wonder why our jails are overcrowded. I mean I’m not sure there can be a clearer case of no harm no foul than this. Two people just going about their business stabbing each other over American Idol. Again I reiterate stabbing each other. It’s not like one person was doing all the stabbing. It’s like offsetting penalties or a double technical. You just tell them to stop and move on. You don’t throw them both in jail. Just a huge waste of taxpayers dollars.
PS – Who still stabs each other over American Idol? Once Simon left that show was over. If you’re gonna stab somebody stab them over The Voice. Way better.
If we’re being totally honest about life right now Feitleberg has done Fanduel for me the last couple weeks because I’ve been travelling. Well let’s be perfectly clear. Feitleberg is an idiot who probably never even played baseball. Me on the otherhand? I won the NEC triple crown as a Junior. I know what numbers are all about. I’m done fucking around. I’m in it to win it this week. I’ll announce my team tomorrow afternoon and then everybody can run and duck for cover. Do I guarantee victory? No because there is too much luck involved, but I do guarantee a top 20 finish.
Alabama.com – A would-be contestant on America’s Next Top Model has admitted to authorities in Alabama that she faked her own abduction in a poorly conceived effort to win back the affection of her estranged boyfriend. Kayla B. Earl of Hueytown was found by a Jefferson County sheriff’s deputy lying in the dirt by the side of the road near a Pleasant Grove cemetery this past Tuesday. Earl, who had a Walmart bag over her head and appeared unconscious, was taken by emergency workers to be examined at a nearby hospital.After being released she told detectives that a man had approached her from behind while she was visiting the gravesite of a friend, and placed a bag over her head. He then grabbed her and a struggle ensued. Earl was able to break loose, and fled to the roadway where she was discovered, ostensibly passed out. Earl reportedly admitted she was “trying to lure back her estranged boyfriend with sympathy.” “She even said she put the bag on her head to make it look like someone tried to suffocate her,” Pleasant Grove Detective Jason Davis told AL.com. “She is going through some personal problems. Between that and wanting attention, it turns out none of this happened.”
Chicks are so stupid. Honey you’re an attractive enough girl. Why are you fake assaulting yourself? Everybody knows that you don’t win your ex back by getting mugged. Maybe that gets you a phone call to make sure you’re okay and that’s it. If you really want to get him back you put on your hottest outfit and go find a new piece of dick and just grind that ass all over him at the local bar. That’s how you win back your ex. Jealousy is the key to victory. Not sympathy. Moron city.
I’m not sure if these get me amped or if they just make me laugh, but every time Uehara goes bananas in the dugout I love it. This is the best angle I’ve seen of it yet. Guy just loves playing baseball. If you had 25 Koji Ueharas on your team you’d never lose a game. He’s like Bobby Boucher. Slap hands! Slap hands!
Great lesson for all the kids out there. If you want to dance with the big dogs at Disney sometimes you get knocked out. And I’m sure this isn’t the mayoral thing to say, but I love watching little kids get crushed like this. Love it. If that makes me a bad person than so be it. But remember…I don’t choose funny. Funny chooses me.
HOUSTON – The Houston Astros are winning, the hot dogs are selling, and all is right with the world at Minute Maid Park. But not inside a men’s restroom. Cell phone video shows a ball park snow cone vendor sitting on a toilet in a stall with an entire box full of the products he’s about to sell. They sit on the bathroom floor right next to him.The person who recorded the video and gave it to Local 2 said: “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This guy is taking a dump. There’s no doubt about it. What sane person could possibly think, yeah this is a good idea. I’ll just put the food that I’m about to sell on the floor.”
Wait a minute? Did this article start off by saying the Astros are winning? Huh? Well I guess if having the worst record in baseball is winning than yeah I guess the Astros are winning alright. More importantly though who buys a snowcone at a baseball game anyway? I mean snowcones are Top 3 messiest items to eat in the world. You got to have some sort of stain deathwish or something. So I don’t want to say you deserve to have it smell like a dump but you kind of do.
PS – Is it spelled snowcone or snocone? I always thought you drop the w but I guess I’m wrong?
How do the TV anchors not wake Morgan up here? It was clear he was dozing. Throw a question his way and let him get back in the game. Don’t let him do the head nod until he’s practically in REM cycle. I mean Morgan Freeman is like 80 years old. It’s like when your grandfather is drifting at the dinner table and your mom says, “Dad, DAD… the kids asked you a question.” Don’t need to make a big scene, but throw some baritone in your voice and make sure he’s aware that he’s getting interviewed about a blockbuster movie and he should perk up a bit and pay attention.