Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

I Need A Favor: Go Vote For Blue Ox For Best Burger In Boston








Bostonburgerblog – The battle lines have been drawn, please vote for your favorite burger in Boston, er Lynn, or Cambridge. Whatever, just vote for your favorite burger to determine the best in the area. Voting starts at noon on Monday and will conclude on Wednesday at 5pm. And away we go… It’s the fifth seed from the Ketchup Bracket, The Blue OX in Lynn against the seventh seed from the Cheese Bracket, Park from Cambridge.

Okay so my buddy is the chef and owner of the Blue Ox.   I’m sure most North Shore people know it.  It’s a great restaurant in beautiful Lynn Ma.  They are in some best burger in Boston competition right now.  It’s the finals.  They’re competing vs. a place called Park.  Well what’s the point of Barstool if I can’t use it to rig online competitions for guys I’ve been buddies with since Kindergarden?   The answer is there is no point.  I almost feel bad for Park.  There is no way to see this coming or defend against it.  So go vote for Blue Ox and prove to the world the power of the Stoolies yet again.  Contest ends today at 5pm.   I tried to tweet this out, but Park is pesky.  They’ve actually increased their lead.  Now I’m taking it to the show.   If we can’t win this thing I may have to retire.




PS – Don’t even front on my sweatsuit for picture day.  Fire flames out the ass.  And yes the 2 girls front and center were the truth.  Danit Amar and Reese Spinney.  Two legit to quit.



By elpresidente posted April 16th, 2014 at 2:52 PM

Rear Admiral’s Seventh (?) Annual First Round Preview And Wagers



NHL Playoffs are back tonight and the first round is often the best round of the post-season. Given some of the match-ups we have this year, that may hold true once again. Let’s take a closer look at each series (Red Wings vs. Bruins preview will be posted Friday).

Pittsburgh vs. Columbus. The Blue Jackets make just their second trip to the second season since joining the NHL 14 years ago while the Pens are still trying to get back to the Stanley Cup Final after winning it all in 2009 then having their goalie self-combust the next four post-seasons. But the BJs aren’t just happy to be here, they want to prove they’re a team on the right track (they are). Coach Todd Richards should just study the hell out of the Bruins from last year’s ECF and do what Claude did. The top-heavy Pens won the season series 5-0 but that’s irrelevant now, largely because Sergei Bobrovsky only played in one game. Look for Columbus to play a patient, grinding style and to take advantage of their opportunities. Also, look for them to win thanks to yet another MAF meltdown. Blue Jackets in 6.

New York vs. Philadelphia. Ah, nothing like some old Patrick Division hate to get the first round nice and nasty. Though the Rags have some scoring balance, they still sometimes struggle to score when they need to. But they have a decided advantage in the pipes with Hank Lundqvist, regardless if Philly starts Steve Mason or Ray Emery. Craig Berube, who replaced Peter Laviolette early in the season, has been just what the Flyers needed. He led the Flyers out of an early season morass and into the playoffs after all hope looked lost. MVP candidate Claude Giroux was the major reason why. Despite the disparity in net, the Flyers forwards will make up the difference, sort of like they did back in 2010. Flyers in 7.

Tampa Bay vs. Montreal. This series has the potential to be one for the ages. The fabled Canadiens, with an interesting mix of vets and kids, taking on the best sniper in the game, Steven Stamkos, along with his two rookie sharpshooters, Ondrej Palat and Tyler Johnson. The Habs have a huge advantage with Carey Price, particularly considering that TB goalies Ben Bishop and Anders Lindback have a combined one playoff game played between them. But they also carry all of the pressure here because, well, they’re Montreal playing a Florida team—regardless of what the seedings say (honestly, just ignore seed numbers at this stage of the game). Expect a wild one with these two very evenly matched teams. Also, expect Tampa to somehow pull a series win out of their ass. Lightning in 7.

Colorado vs. Minnesota. The battle of outdoorsy nicknames and double-use logos is certainly an intriguing one. The Avs became the first team ever to pick #1 overall then win their division, thanks in large part to the fiery-bordering-on-insane Patrick Roy. He was able to harness all of Colorado’s talent up front and, along with goalie coach Francois Allaire, turn Semyon Varlamov into a 40-game winner this year. But the Avs will be without star Matt Duchene, who has a banged up knee. Minnesota hasn’t had a significant playoff run since 2003 when Andrew Brunette sent Colorado packing and put a bow on Roy’s career in the Western Conference Semis.  Though they picked up some big FA help recently, they still can never seem to get over the hump. Roy will get a semblance of payback for ’03. Also, no fucking way am I picking a team with Matt Cooke on it. Avalanche in 6.

St. Louis vs. Chicago. Classic little brother against big brother battle right here. The Hawks have won two of the last four Cups while the Blues have been looking for a playoff goalie since Glenn Hall. But they just may have found him in Ryan Miller. This will be a great coaching battle between Ken Hitchcock and Joel Quenneville. The Blues play a grinding, wear-you-down style and have a great defensive coach in Hitchcock but do have trouble scoring on occasion. That’s a problem against a team like Chicago. However, the Hawks’ two big guns are both coming off injury and the team has played a shitload of hockey in the last couple years (including Olympics). But even so, they still seem to plug their holes efficiently by summoning a kid or two from Rockford. Not to mention, they’re still loaded up front. Still, I think Hitch goes trap (or similar) to slow down the speedy Hawks and St. Louis finally gets postseason-worthy goaltending. Blues in 7.

Anaheim vs. Dallas. This is another series that looks great on paper. The Ducks have the two-headed monster of Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry, the Stars have Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn, who both had career years. Anaheim will need to utilize their advantage on D to counteract Dallas, which burns more speed than Skinny Pete and Badger. Also, Bruce Boudreau has had some post-season hiccups and will be in for quite the battle with the playoff-tested Lindy Ruff. I’d expect Jonas Hiller to be the Ducks goalie. As for Dallas, Kari Lehtonen has just two playoff games under his belt (from back in ’07…in Atlanta). If he falters or tweaks one of his many career injuries…oh no! That’s Tim Thomas’s music!!! I’d love to see Teemu Selanne get a shot at Cup #2 but think the playoff pressure Dallas has been playing under for a month (and Ruff) will be the difference. Stars in 7.

San Jose vs. Los Angeles. Possibly the most-anticipated first round match-up. Featuring two teams that harbor legit Cup chances. One will be in Vegas in two weeks, wondering how it all went wrong while knee-deep in booze and broads. For SJ, it’s the same old song: can they get over the hump? Only this hump is the first round and it’s against Jonathan Quick, one of the top goalies in the world. LA is looking to get back to the SCF after winning it all in 2012. These are two incredibly matched squads both up front and and on the back end. And Antti Niemi is no slouch, having led the Hawks to the ’10 Cup. But Quick is just too good. Kings in 7.

Not a shitload of value in this first round due to the parity of the teams so there won’t be too much betting. But for series plays, I’m taking Columbus +250 and Los Angeles +120 (as well as Game One wagers on each). Good luck to all.



By Rear Admiral posted April 16th, 2014 at 2:19 PM

The Boylston Lunatic Says “His Performance Got The Best Of Him”

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(Source)The Wakefield man charged with creating a disturbance at the Boston Marathon finish line told Boston police he was preoccupied with his performance when he walked barefoot, draped in a long black veil, carrying a backpack containing a rice cooker down Boylston Street Tuesday night. According to a police report filed in court, Edson told arresting officers that the rice cooker he was carrying inside the backpack was not an explosive device. He also explained his behavior, which included shouting out loud as he walked down the street. “I knew what I was doing, it was being conceived in my head. It’s symbolism,’’ Edson allegedly told police after receiving his Miranda rights. “The performance got the best of me.’’



Shit. Guys, maybe we overreacted last night? Keyvon was just putting on a performance. We didn’t need all that bomb squad and police presence. It was just symbolism. It’s on us for not understanding his art. Happens to method actors all the time, they get wrapped up in their performance and can’t shut it off. Of course, those performances take place on a movie set while Keyvon’s “performance” involved fake bombs and took place in the middle of a busy street where there was a tribute to a real bombing that took place exactly 365 days prior. But still. If only we weren’t so literal and got that rice cookers full of confetti in backpacks are just props. If we just had a better understanding of the arts this whole kerfuffle could have been avoided.




By feitelberg posted April 16th, 2014 at 1:50 PM

I’d Say It’s Even Money This Dude From The WBC Gets Murdered At the Zoo Today










Advantage Umass.   Now what should happen here is the Umass cops who love beating up students should turn the other cheek.  Just pretend they don’t even see this WBC guy.    Let the him get beaten to death.  Let the Umass kids drag his body through the campus.   Put his head on a spike on Hobart Lane.    That’s the only way to stop idiot protests like these.  If the WBC knows nobody is gonna protect them they’ll stop doing shit like this.

PS – As much as I hate the WBC you got to admit it kind of takes balls to protest by yourself at Umass

By elpresidente posted April 16th, 2014 at 1:17 PM

A School In Florida Is Implementing A Dress Code For Parents Because, Well, Florida


(Source)A Florida high school board member recently suggested a new dress code — for parents. During a meeting earlier this month, Broward County school board member Dr. Rosalind Osgood said she often sees parents wearing saggy pants and pajamas when they drop off or pick up their kids from Boyd Anderson High School in Lauderdale Lakes. “We have dads showing up in sagging pants,” Osgood said, according to an April 3 Sun Sentinel report. “It’s hard for me to tell a child not to show up for school with hair curlers, pajamas or short shorts if they see parents wearing them. Parents need to lead by example.” Osgood admitted it would likely be difficult to enforce a dress code for parents, but said schools could address the problem during Parent Nights. Broward County Public Schools spokesperson Cathleen Brennan told The Huffington Post Tuesday that she was not aware of any plans to discuss this issue further.



Just got this story emailed to us and the tip said “If I was one of these parents I’d be pissed!” Really? You’d be pissed that adults had to have a meeting and decide that you don’t know how to dress? Really? If anything, you should be embarrassed. You’re a goddamn adult, you’re not supposed to be leaving the house looking like you just rolled out of bed because you literally did. This very morning I went outside to put money in the meter at 8 and I was wearing sweatpants and even I was embarrassed. I’m a 25 year old internet blogger without children and I was embarrassed to be outside in bedtime clothes. Don’t even get me stated on “pajamas,” if you’re putting yourself to bed then the word “pajamas” shouldn’t be in your wardrobe vocabulary. Wearing that shit when the sun is out is one half of a step from being homeless and if it takes a school board to tell you that you look inappropriate and like shit then you’ve got major problems.

By feitelberg posted April 16th, 2014 at 12:10 PM

Dropping The Nae Nae Is The Only Way To Celebrate Catching A Home Run Ball





Always wonder how I’d act if I was in the crowd and knew the camera was on me. Whether it be catching a foul ball or just on the jumbotron, lot of stress involved. You know all eyes are on you (like when you used to walk into the high school cafeteria and panic trying to find your friends because you thought everyone was staring at you, only this time they’re actually looking at you). Well, here’s the answer: drop the Nae Nae on em. It’s as cool as a fat guy touchdown dance only whiter and drunker.

By feitelberg posted April 16th, 2014 at 11:40 AM

Tuukka Had A Special Goalie Helmet Commissioned For Maddie, The Girl Who Spent Her Make A Wish Day With The Bruins

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Reader Email


Hey Guys,

My name is Ron Slater. I am a goalie mask artist. My top client being Tuukka Rask. Just thought I’d share a couple pictures related to a story you ran a couple weeks ago about Maddie Santosuosso, the 9 year old girl with Sarcoma cancer who idolizes Tuukka Rask. Maddie got brand new goalie equipment and  got to spend some time out on the ice with the Bruins at their practice, all made possible through the Make a Wish Foundation, the Bruins and Tuukka. Well, Tuukka has commissioned me to paint her up a new mask as well! I can’t wait to see her face when she gets it!


Ron Slater




For those of you who don’t remember Maddie, she’s a 9 year old girl with stage IV sarcoma whose favorite player in the world is Tuukka Rask. A few weeks ago, she fulfilled her dream of spending time with Tuukka and the rest of the Bs. But, red helmet? Tuukka couldn’t have that. Had to hook Maddie up with almost an exact replica of his own shield. I’d say it’s a real classy move but he kind of owed it to her after ringing one off her bell in the Behind the B episode




Keep the pucks down in warmups, Tuuk!

By feitelberg posted April 16th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

What Should The Punishment Be For That Clown From Yesterday?



Ok so we’re getting more info about the Mass Art student who did the fake bomb threat yesterday and shut down Boylston Street.  You got to feel for his family a little bit.  Clearly they know he’s fucked up.   It appears they’ve tried to get him help.   Apparently he has been diagnosed  with bipolar disorder already.   My question is does any of that shit matter?

Because to me what he did yesterday was basically just as bad as if he had a real bomb.    What I mean by that is clearly he can’t differentiate right from wrong.  Like if your mind can’t comprehend that what you did yesterday was wrong you can’t be trusted with any decision.  He’s a loose cannon capable of doing anything.  He’s a threat to himself and more importantly a threat to society.  He has to be locked up.    He can’t be let out in public.  He’s a ticking timebomb.   You hear all the horror stories of school shootings and other tragedies and they all seem to stem from some disillusioned or sick motherfucker who didn’t get the help he needed or wasn’t stopped when he could have been.  Somebody exactly like this dude from yesterday.  So I don’t care if he’s sick or bi-polar or whatever.   This guy should not be allowed to walk the streets of Boston ever again.  He needs to be put in an institution and monitored 24/7.  He’s clearly too insane to be left on his own and his family doesn’t have the resources, time or whatever to know where he is and what he’s doing at all times.  Yesterday proved that.



By elpresidente posted April 16th, 2014 at 10:42 AM
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