Guess That Ass

kpolla cpoolm

 

 

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By elpresidente posted February 27th, 2015 at 12:10 PM

Top 10 Biggest Regrets Of My Life: Not Being Able To Shred The Gnar On These Slurpee Waves In Nantucket

slushwaveee ackwave

 

 

FUCK ME.    I can’t believe I missed this slurpee Surf in Nantucket.   Imagine getting pitted in that tunnel? Look at it! It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, man! Ugh. I’m so fucking sad. For a guy who lives to get radical this is a day killer.

 

Hey Ocean you want no part of this son!

 

 

By elpresidente posted February 27th, 2015 at 11:20 AM

PornHub Has Created A Wristband That Allows You To Charge Your Phone While You Jerk Off

 

(YouTube) Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet, by loving yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, the power is your hand. At Pornhub, we’re concerned about the amount of energy consumed by our users while enjoying the millions of hours of content we provide on our site. That’s why we’ve decided to pitch in to help save the environment by creating a revolutionary wearable tech device. Find out more about the Wankband and how you can create dirty energy at www.thewankband.com and sign up to become a Be(a)ta tester so you can find out how this amazing invention can help you save the planet.

 

 

 

At first glance, great idea. Your phone always dies and you scramble for a way to charge it, right? That couldn’t possibly be bad. Wrong. Because where does your phone almost exclusively die? At the bar. When you’re out. If it dies at home or at a friend’s apartment, you simply grab a charge. When you’re out, that’s when you’re really up shit’s creek. So what are you going to do, sneak into the bathroom and beat-off? Stand at the bar and vigorously shake your fist at the bartender? Hit the dance floor and exclusively bust out an “I’m pretending to masturbate” move? No, because all those things mean you’re a psychopath. So having this watch is like having a super power that you’re not allowed to use. “Shit my phone’s at 5% so I’m not going to be able to drunk text or tweet tonight. Well I guess I could go tug my dick in that bathroom stall where the fat guy just puked…” It almost makes it worse, having that ability in the palm of your hand but nowhere to use it.

 

By feitelberg posted February 27th, 2015 at 10:40 AM

This Will Be The One And Only Time I Blog About the Morons Who Think This is A Blue/Black Dress

dress

 

I hate myself for still blogging this controversy this morning, but I had to do it. It just never ceases to amaze me how stupid Middle America is. And make no mistake about it. If you think this dress is Blue Black than you are a middle America bible thumping hick. The dress is white gold. That’s a statement of fact no different than it will get dark tonight. There is no room for debate. No other side. How can I be so sure? Listen kids this is what I do. I interent all day long. I stand on the wall and I guard the bowels of the internet. I wait for Llamas, dresses, cakefarts, the fappening, Deflategate, brady’s kid’s dick and whatever else the internet may turn up so I can be the judge and jury on it. I’ve been doing it for over a decade now. It’s my job. I’m a professional. I decide who gets into Internet heaven. ME. So when I say the dress is white gold trust me it’s white gold.

 

bluebakc

 
But that’s not even the point of this blog. What is up with the blue black crowd who are posting pictures of blue black dresses (like above) and being like “I TOLD YOU SO!” What the fuck is that all about? Yeah the dress on the right is blue black. The dress on the left is Michele Phifer white gold. They are 2 different pictures. 2 different dresses. You are proving my point. I just don’t get how so many people can be this stupid. Hey newsflash if you take a white dress and put it behind a cup of cranberry juice it will look red. It’s all shadows and shading but it’s a white gold dress and Jesus can’t bail you out of this one.

 

People Who Think the Dress is White Gold
Me
McShay
Big Cat
KFC
Kmarko
Smitty

People Who Think the Dress Is Black/Blue

JMac
Trent
Mike Stud

By elpresidente posted February 27th, 2015 at 10:03 AM

This Dog Just Redefined the Long Jump Forever

 

 

 

UNREAL HOPS! UNREAL. Love his landing too. Just face first in the sand.  So dog.

By elpresidente posted February 27th, 2015 at 9:30 AM

Wake Up With Catalina Oltavaro

 

 

1 Stars2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (150 votes, average: 9.51 out of 10)
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By feitelberg posted February 27th, 2015 at 9:00 AM

Barstool Rundown February 26


Podcast

Topics:

Police Report Of Dez Bryant’s “Wal-Mart Incident” Released 

Adrian Peterson Wins His Appeal And Has His Suspension Overturned 

#PrayForMadonna

Kardashian Family Signs $100 Million Deal With E!

Rate This Letter That Somebody Left On A Space Saver In Cambridge

Rate Rusney Castillo’s Hair (Hint: It’s A Million) Rate His Ear (Hint:It’s A Negative Infinity)

Curt Schilling Is Super Butt Hurt About Dudes Hitting On His Daughter At Salve Regina

Bad News Everyone, Pimp My Ride Was Fake 

Rodney From Survivor Is A Once In A Lifetime Type Masshole

By handsomehank posted February 26th, 2015 at 8:05 PM

Order Your St. Paddy’s Day And Spring Break Gear Now To Make Sure You Get It In Time

stpaddysstrasdt sutttt

 

 

Are These Socks The Most Sure Fire Way To Make Slush Panties On Spring Break?  Probably.

 

socksss sockssss

 

 

 

We’re almost sold out of all our St. Paddy’s day stuff so we need to place a new order.    That’s why you got to order it now to make sure you get it in time.   And we got our summer stuff back for Spring Break.   If you’re too cheap to buy this just remember your money is my money.

 

Click To Buy

By elpresidente posted February 26th, 2015 at 6:12 PM
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