TEANECK — An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor’s fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said. Daniel Collins, 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, Collins said he confronted the man after hearing him pass gas in front of his apartment door, but denied threatening him with a gun. He consented to a search, and officers recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

This isn’t the right move here. It’s the only move. I mean is there a bigger sign of disrespect than your neighbor walking up to your front door and ripping a huge fucking fart right in your fucking face?   “Like breathe it in old man!  What are you going to do about it?” Fuck that shit.  This old timer was probably balls deep in the swamps of Nam and now he’s got ungrateful punks farting all up in his shit?  No choice but to pull your pistol.   None whatsoever.