How do you bet the Preakness? Forget it's a horse race? Treat it like a basketball game? Bet 1000 on orb to win a 1000?
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8.4 @rwmulvey: @stoolpresidente what do you think the avg. BAC was last night for the rant line? 2.5? 3.0?
Just deposited money into a new Citizens ATM. MIND BLOWN
Not even out of breathe. My only regret is that I wish I didn’t have gayball arms getting into the water. I’m sure that’s not going to go unnoticed.
UPDATE – A bunch of people are asking me what that last move I did was. Umm I was reaching for the finish line. Obv.
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wrong video pres
shit doesn’t go down like this on deadspin
hardo
Why the fuck did I just watch a video on how to catch a foul ball? Amateur Hour.
Black people swim better than you, and they can’t even swim.
cancel the races. someone just give this man a medal now
This is definitive proof that it is possible to swim in 6 inches of water.
Nice love handles. They fit perfectly on your pink, puffy middle-aged torso.
were you walking as you did that thing with your arms?
Breath = noun. Breathe = verb. Fucking moron.
pretty sure you were fighting off some jellyfish correct?
“swimmers are a pussy”
“Not even out of breathe.”
-
Some of us call it “breath,” but whatever. You’re the education major, not me.
Sooo – I’m not sure if pres like embarassing himself – thinks he’s actually making a point – or just doesn’t give a fuck.
That was an embarassment.
This might have been the gayest thing I ever saw.
I assume you were referring to Michael Felps the special needs swimming champion. You would totally dominate at the Special Olympics, good luck this year fatty.
Nice mom hips you got there tubby.
wow…I haven’t laughed that hard in a while…you really did look like Tyrone in the kiddie pool out there
I think swimmers are a pussy. Hahha classic
Pres stumbling at the 54 second mark, funniest part of the video
Stick to having Sales Guy film you in the bath tub.
easy to spot the douche bag wearing the starfish shorts
also why wear goggles if you’re afraid to put your head under the water when you swim?
where are the fucking sharks when you need them?
You looked like a retard attempting to tread water some one should have called a life guard, how much brain damage did you sustain from your child hood?
Not a beach guy, does it normally take two bros to carry one surfboard?
you have aids
Goggles in the ocean. How did I not guess that?
Its pathetic how you were swimming in water up to your knees like a child.
Have you ever heard of sunscreen?
Breathing on both sides so that nose doesn’t spin you in circles?
Nice swimming cap.
i guess davey needs some page views, make a stupid vid of himself and let the worst commentors attempt to make jokes, so gay, follow me bitches @kingblackdude, or @goddy77
I am just glad he didn’t clear the beach by doing the backstroke.
HA HA!! some of these posts are fucking hilarious. Some of these people should be writing blogs.
Thought manatees knew how to swim at birth. Guess not.
Portnose, you wouldn’t even place at the special olympics. You swim like a retarded kid trying to fight off a nest of bees.
you’re clearly walking along the bottom
Mitchpavelis keeps the streak alive!
Swim as well as Rodney King & Whitney Houston.
nice ‘breast-stroke’ clown
ps- im pretty sure stephen lynch had you in mind when he wrote ‘special olympics’
Jesus, were you wearing a diaper? I though your arms were going to spontaneously generate water wings.
Surprised you weren’t wearing water wings. Would you please do that again with a tuna carcass tied around you neck.
I would pay money to see you race “The Eel”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rqI8xwXVac He is quicker but lacks your powerful lunge for the line.
Are you pigeon toed or did your right foot have a stroke ?
Nice cap and man tits. Only thing missing was you saying, “We all know about you Chief. You don’t go in the water at all do ya?”
WTF, was that vasoline on your eyebrows, or did you shave them off? Walks with a turd in his shorts, swims like an epileptic. Classic.
Usually “swimming” involves kicking your feet.
I was half expecting to see an army of volunteers actually roll you back into the water you fat fuck.
you have a tremendous beak
swimmers are pussies? try to get ur fat ass working out 3 hours a day 7 days a week
leave it to those lil ACK surf gromits to not cheer on a local legend/smut publisher. Where the fuck are the trumpets? Where is the support? Where are the bouncing titties? ACK when you disappoint, you disappoint hard.
Pres cant believe you dont fence. You have a 2 on 1 advantage all day every day. I think I just fiqured it out ..pres gonna win gold at the next special olympics..cause we all know you have scoliosis
I guess makes sense. Sharks everywhere on the cape… cant be too suprised you happend to jump one of them. You look old, you werent funny, and no one recognized you on the beach. Sorry fonzie, but its time to pack up the comb, buzz your balding head, and hand the reins over to someone else.
Swim Forest Swim!
Other than hiding your bald spot, why do you wear a swim cap? Your head never goes in the water.
why do you run a blog if you can be in the olympics, nhl, and can sing like pearl jam?
I wish that kid drilled you with his surfboard
Legit laugh out loud everytime you post videos like this….going for world records and shit and getting smoked 10 times out of 10…gotta admit tho they are pretty good.
1. that was 50 feet max. 2. you were walking the entire time. 3. my grandma could swim faster than you and she 80.
What did i just watch?
Just gave me DB Chills.
You waddled in there like a fat gay black dude
That’s not a breaststroke.
Nice cankles
Forgot to take the condom off your head
This is why Moses had to part the Red Sea.
Comment section for this post = awesome
Being that you literally did no kicking while swimming… Phelps teeth were not kicked in. All you accomplished was looking like a fucking retarded gay fish who somehow can’t swim.
Ok I will post for u. Diebu fucking jew die slimy Jew die jew fucking Hebrew Jew fucking cunt
No clue why I watched this
how did the shark miss your blubber filled manatee like body
yea, you’d totally win the olympics in the shallow water races.
HOW BOW-LEGGED ARE YOU? So awkward watching you walk never mind swim like your in the special Olympics.
6 to 10 foot waves? It’s knee high you kook! Stick to typing on the keyboard. P.s. if you can’t tell he’s running on the sand bar your a complete moron, go slam your dick in the closest doorway.
nice baby bearing hips fatty
fat ass