ESPN – When Off the Ball heard this week that Liverpool decided to fork out £20 million for Stewart Downing after being duped by fake YouTube footage of the winger showing off his skills, it was instantly dismissed as a huge steaming pile of codswallop. ‘Nobody can be that stupid,’ we thought. But after trawling through numerous reports we stumbled across the following quotes from Liverpool chairman Tom Werner and Off the Ball’s jaw dropped so far and so fast that we’ve had to have it wired back together by a hugely expensive orthognathic surgeon and can only drink soup through a straw for the next two months. “There was some footage of Stewart where he was, from 30 yards away, kicking a football into five different trash cans and it was brilliant,” Werner is quoted as saying in the Liverpool Echo. “[Liverpool owner] John [Henry] and I said: ‘Oh my God, this player is brilliant, we’ve got to figure out a way to make a deal with him’.” It was only later that Werner and Henry realised the footage had been digitally enhanced as part of a campaign to boost season ticket sales at Downing’s then club Aston Villa. Since moving to Anfield in the summer, Downing has scored no goals and provided zero assists in 22 Premier League games.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this.   I mean this may be the funniest story I’ve ever heard in my life, but these are also the morons who run the Red Sox.   And people wonder how the One Eyed Bandit consolidated power, got prima nocte with Linda Pizzuti and wrestled control away from everybody else? He’s the only one who isn’t an idiot. It must have been like taking candy from a baby. More importantly if you don’t think I’m making a batting practice video of me launching 500 foot HR’s and throwing 110 miles per hour you’re nuts. Actually fuck that. I’ll just email them a clip of Steve Nebraska from The Scout and say it’s me. Cha Ching! See ya later blogging….

PS – No chance the One Eyed Bandit didn’t leak this story….

Double PS – The smooth/hip cat John Henry from Moneyball  would have never made this mistake.  But of course that was the worst representation of a person in the history of cinema.