Metro – Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood. Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin. But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder. ‘I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realised a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,’ the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said. ‘I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.’ Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it. Surgeon Jin Wang said that, because of the eel’s slippery nature, it was able to make a smooth entry into the genitals of Nan.

I fucking hate when this happens. Just minding your own business trying to take a relaxing eel bath and one of them decides to swim right into you dick like a hero. Right the fuck into your cock. Like really bro?  You really just swam into my dick like an asshole?  That’s how you’re gonna play it?   Not cool.  Fucking totally ruins the massage.  Oh well. No more eel baths more me. If those motherfuckers can’t stay out of my dick I’m not gonna let them feast on my dead skin. Their loss.

PS – The surgeon’s name who removed the eel from this guy’s wang was Jin Wang?  China playing chess while everybody else is playing checkers.