I believe it was John 3:16 that said don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. And I wouldn’t make it 10 feet in this guy’s spikes. They say making it to the big leagues as an ump is harder than doing it as a player. So this guy goes out there every night and gives his all behind the Class A dish. Despite his wife yelling at him to provide for the family, despite his parents telling him to grow up, despite all his high school friends laughing right in his face: he keeps his dinosaur and goes out there under the lights. And he does it for love of the game. So show him some fucking respect, will ya? Last thing this guy needs is another stresser in the form of Three Blind Mice.

This is real right?  Pres is gonna kill me if this is fake.