So I was watching the College World Series and for some reason just started wondering whether Oral Hersheiser slays bitches. Or whether he ever did in his prime? He must have right? Guy threw 59 scoreless innings in LA. Chicks must have been throwing their panties at him. But he’s so freaking dorky. And isn’t he super religious too? But yet he’s a professional poker player. I honestly can’t make heads or tails of this guy. I bet he has some serious skeletons in his closet. Like there is literally nothing you could say about Orel’s sex life that would surprise me. Anything from he likes little boys to he makes the hottest chicks in the world squirt by just looking at em. He’s a mystery man. Yeah I know this is a weird ass random thought but I got to know what other people think. Does Orel lay pipe or what?

Source – Men’s Wearhouse did not like the way George Zimmer looked as executive chairman … ’cause the suit chain just FIRED his ass!!!! FYI — the famously-bearded Zimmer didn’t just FOUND the company in 1973, he also served as the spokesperson and is known for his slogan — “You’re going to like the way you look, I guarantee it.” The company announced the termination in a blunt statement … and explained, “The board expects to discuss with Mr. Zimmer the extent, if any, and terms of his ongoing relationship with the company.”

Statement from George Zimmer
“Over the past several months I have expressed my concerns to the Board about the direction the company is currently heading.” “Instead of fostering the kind of dialogue in the Boardroom that has in part contributed to our success, the Board has inappropriately chosen to silence my concerns through termination as an executive officer.”

RIP Men’s Wearhouse.   Listen I don’t care if George Zimmer was banging every board member’s wife.   You can’t fire him.  He was the whole fucking brand.   Getting rid of him just means that everything he’s said for the past decade was a lie.  That the entire company is a farce.   Like you don’t see Miltons firing Dana Katz do you?  No.   Because Miltons isn’t built on a house of lies like Men’s Wearhouse is.    Anybody who buys a suit from Men’s Wearhouse is a sucker plain and simple and this proves it.   Oh you’ll like the way you look?   No you won’t.  You’re fired!   Bottomline is that Moguls shop at Miltons and this story proves it.

TMZ – New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was sued earlier this month for allegedly shooting a man in the face following an altercation at a Miami strip club … TMZ has learned. The lawsuit was filed in federal court in Florida on June 13 — five days before investigators searched the NFL star’s Massachusetts home in connection with a homicide investigation that appears to be unrelated. According to the lawsuit, obtained by TMZ, Hernandez and Alexander S. Bradley went to Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami on February 13, 2013 … and during the outing, the two men got into an argument. Bradley claims … After the dispute, both men left the club — and got into the same car which was heading to Palm Beach. During the ride, Aaron allegedly aimed his weapon at Bradley … and the gun discharged, striking Bradley in the face. Bradley claims he suffered major injuries from the gunshot … including the loss of his right eye. Bradley demanded more than $100,000.

Bad week for Aaron Hernandez.  First that nasty little murder thing and now this.   I’m calling bullshit here though.  Like Aaron Hernandez MAY be involved in a homicide and suddenly Alexander Bradley says he got shot in the face a couple months ago?  Seems fishy to me. I’m pretty sure we would have heard about it before now if this was true.   And let me ask you this. If Mr. Hernandez did blow your eyeball out how are you only suing for 100K? An eyeball has to be worth more than that? Case dismissed.

PS – Tebow control your boy.

CNN – The American Medical Association has officially recognized obesity as a disease, a move that could induce physicians to pay more attention to the condition and spur more insurers to pay for treatments. Dr. Patrice Harris said the diabetes definition would help in the fight against heart disease. Whether obesity should be called a disease has long been debated. The Obesity Society officially issued its support for classifying obesity as a disease in 2008, with Mr. Downey as one of the authors of the paper. The Internal Revenue Service has said that obesity treatments can qualify for tax deductions. In 2004, Medicare removed language from its coverage manual saying obesity was not a disease.

So being fat is a disease now huh? That’s cute. Just another made up illness to put on the mantle with ADD. Just another way for people who suck at life not to take responsibility for sucking. Hey it’s not my fault I don’t exercise, eat like shit and am a fat pig. The choices I make are out of my hands. Being fat is a disease. I was born with it. Hey fatzo here is an idea. If you don’t want to be fat stop eating McDonalds and mix in a sit up once in awhile and your disease will magically disappear. Like you don’t see me complaining about being fat do you?  No.  I eat pizza, ice cream and bagels. If that makes me fat than so be it. They are my decisions and I live with the consequences.   It’s called being a man. ‘Merica!

I hate people who complain in airports more than anything. Delays happen. We’re all stuck here. Just shut the fuck up and bitch about it on Twitter like everyone else. But you gotta admit, this one is on the pilot. You can’t call a guy out, drop your binder, then be surprised when he socks you right in the kisser. Be a man, dude. You just got bitch slapped 4 times. Men don’t let themselves get slapped even once without retaliation. There was a time when commercial pilots were looked upon like doctors and lawyers. They were the kings of the skies who fucked hot stewardesses and took crap from no one. After this display it’s not really a surprise that they’ve fallen back toward earth in the public’s eyes. We don’t like admiring sissies.

And the answer is Julianne Hough. That is an ass that I’d love to pound. A dancers ass. An athletic ass. My kind of ass. No chance Seacrest ever tapped that ass. He’s way to gayball to handle that shit.

2 weeks ago Jimmy Kimmel interviewed Heat fans and made them look like bandwagon idiots. None of them knew a thing about basketball, or human anatomy (one woman thought Lebron would return from his injured vulva in time for the series). While watching that I thought, “Wow, no way can a fanbase look worse than this.” Guess I was wrong. Can’t get any lower than being outside an arena where an epic OT win took place and lamenting on your loss. But I guess you need to hit rock bottom to get back up. If someone tells these people there’s a game 7 tomorrow night I’m sure they’ll make it to the arena by the second quarter and stay at least until the Heat are down double digits.

Herald – Homicide detectives swarmed inside and outside the $1.3 million North Attleboro home of 
Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez last night as the star player was questioned about the suspicious death of a man found less than a mile away. The platoon of investigators snapped photos inside the mini-mansion, combed through a white sedan in the driveway and walked up and down the street hunting for clues in ditches. Police were also seen leaving the home late last night carrying a cardboard box as they headed to their cars. … A North Attleboro detective disputed unsubstantiated Web reports Hernandez was being uncooperative. “He’s there. He’s fine,” the detective told the Herald. … Hernandez came to the door last night to open it for police.

I’ve got to admit, I was as worried as anyone in New England to hear the early reports that said Hernandez wasn’t cooperating with the cops.  I mean, that shit might fly in Baltimore and at ESPN, but we don’t operate like that up here.  Sure, our cornerbacks might punch an off duty cop in a bar brawl or go medieval on some cab driver’s ass, but they own up to it.  They pay their debt to society.  It’s not The Patriots Way to obstruct justice.  And here we have it, direct from the horse’s mouth. He’s there.  He’s fine.  He’s opening up his home to the authorities and letting the CSI: North Attleboro boys do all their forensics and cooperating in every way.  That’s not me talking, that’s the detective running the show.  Though I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’s helping out with the manhunt.  So everyone who rushed to judgment on this one and started comparing him to Ray Lewis can start working on their apologies.  And let ye who never had a rent-a-car in his name found next to the dead body of “an associate” cast the first stone.

Hernandez is working with the police to crack this case.  Gronk’s surgery was a huge success.  The situation that was so grim last night is looking much brighter this morning.  Alright, move on.  Nothing to see here.  Please disburse. Nothing to see here…

PS.  At this point my biggest concern is Hernandez getting bagged for smacking his lawyer on the ass in front of a judge.  @JerryThornton1

Reader Email

Hey pres,

Thought you’d get a kick out this. Unless you reviewed yourself, then I’m a gullible chump but my friend told me about this app called Lulu where people anonymously rate and “hash tag” other people. Pretty much everything I hate about apps but I had to check it out and the first person to pop up was you. Some of the hashtags I thought were priceless: #strongjaw #hotfriends #notadick. Also I can’t decide is 8.8 is a fair rating or not.

So in case idiots don’t know what Lulu is, this is the app for chicks that lets them rank and talk about dudes. Here is a description from Huffpo

“The app allows users (women only) to sign in through Facebook and rate men they know using various pre-written hashtags. Examples include #AlwaysPays, #RespectsWomen, #Boring and #WearsEdHardy. Men can’t use the app, but they can remove themselves if their reviews make them uncomfortable. Lulu is meant to be “a place you can talk about the good and the bad.”

Anyway back to this email. Is 8.8 a fair rating for me? I guess it is? Yeah I thought I was at least a 9, but what are you going to do? Democracy is democracy. The women have spoken. I’m an 8.8. It is what it is. So I guess that means Bradley Cooper is a 9? I’m a big enough man to admit he’s .2 decimal points better looking than me.  I think the #almosttooperfect is a fair description as well.

Tough look for those guys. Ever see pictures of yourself on Facebook and just think “oh fuck I really wish I didn’t wear that fucking shirt and make that stupid face”? These guys are experiencing that times 10 million right now. One thing to have a stupid picture on the internet that your 400 “friends” can see. Whole different animal when the worldwide leader in sports posts a video of you begging for Darko Milicic and predicting NBA Finals in a year. Horrible look.