Without a shadow of a doubt Lupos was the wildest party I’ve been at yet on the Blackout Tour.  Just pure mayhem from the word go.   Smokes literally falling from the sky.   And now  the Blackout Tour swings back into action this week.  We got Miami of Ohio tomorrow and Thursday and then Cincy on Friday and Ohio State on Saturday.   I have no links for tickets because all four shows are sold out cold.    If you are a smoke and need a ticket email us at tips@barstoolu.com and we’ll get you in.

(WAKE, Raleigh, Charlotte, South Carolina, Charleston all go on sale next Wedneday at Noon.  All the ticket links will be posted here.  Be ready so you don’t get shut the fuck out)

ONLY 5 REMAINING BLACKOUT SHOWS

Lehigh– Friday 3/23 at Crocodile Rock Cafe (Buy Tickets)

Marist 2nd show – Thursday 2/16 at The Chance (Buy Tickets)

Monmouth 2nd show – Wed Feb 29th at Stony Pony (Buy Tickets)

Michigan – Thursday 4/26 at Andrews Hall (Buy Tickets)

Chicago – Saturday – 4/28 at HOB (Buy Tickets)

Wherever there is injustice, you will find him.  Wherever there is commercial dumping of butterfingers, he’ll be there.  Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…. The Three Amigos! Mumbles Menino!

Introducing Marissa from the Zoo.   Marissa made headlines yesterday when we posted that video of her commentating the Umass riots from her bedroom which promptly went viral.  Little did everybody know that it was a smoke talking.  Well I did because I can recognize a smoke’s voice anywhere, but I get paid to know that stuff.

Do you know any smokes?  Send them to tips@barstoolsports.com

From Boston.com

Question

My fiancé of 3+ years is planning a vacation with his buddies/co-workers to Atlantic City. I asked if I could come along, since we had been talking about planning a similar trip. When he said it was an all-guys trip, I brushed it off until he mentioned that a woman, who happens to be a lesbian, is also attending. This raised a flag to me because I instinctively know what this means: strip clubs. When I asked why she was allowed to go, his response was, “Well, she’s not gonna mind if I have [ice cream cones] in my face.”

Now I know that it is in every man’s DNA to want to see a naked woman, but I can’t help but be bothered by this. I am not sure if it’s because we were trying to plan a trip like this for the two of us and now he’s decided to go with his male friends, or if I’m just bothered that his sole purpose for going is for a strip club.

Regardless, I am bothered by the fact that his whole weekend will be spent blowing money at strip clubs — money that we’re trying desperately to save for a house and a wedding. I never thought of myself as a jealous person, but now that I am faced with this issue, I am beginning to think that’s exactly what I am.

It’s not that I think he’s going to cheat, but cheating for a male means different things than for a female. If I knew that he was [looking at ice cream cones] and was very [close to sampling ice cream cones], I would be extremely upset. The counter-argument I brought up was, “If you found out I had my hands or face in some guy’s [ice cream cones], you would be upset too.”

Knowing that men go to strip clubs to see beautifully-sculpted naked women (and pay them to be their eye candy) makes me resentful that he isn’t satisfied with what he has at home. I will give myself credit and say that I am a stunning young woman, who could stand to lose a few pounds, but nevertheless I am very good-looking and like to make my man happy.

Is this irrational? Am I crazy to get so upset by this, and do I just have to let it go?

– ConfusedAboutMen, Medford

Hoss Goldstein’s Answer

A: I get a lot of letters from people who want to know how I feel about strip clubs, and, well, my answer is too complicated to stick into a simple Q&A.

But I can tell you that the people who write in about strip club issues often have other big problems in their relationships. If your guy was doing a good job of saving money for the wedding, would you be as upset about this trip? If he gave a more respectful, loving answer to your question about the vacation, would you be so focused on the strip club? Are you really jealous about what he’ll do with these women — or is this about your fiancé’s priorities?

My advice is to take the strip club thing off the table so that you can clear your head. Think (and talk) about the stuff that bothers you on a daily basis. Those are the issues that are worth your attention. And feel free to tell him how you define cheating. He should be open to (and expect) that kind of conversation before this trip.

Readers? Thoughts on strip clubs and cheating? Is this really about the strip club? Am I wrong to say that she’d be more comfortable with the trip if he were better on a day-to-day basis? Discuss.

______________________________________________________________

I’m not even going to bash Hoss on this one because she really didn’t say anything.  She just kind of  said think about why your husband getting ice cream cones smashed in his face (yes I’m stealing that phrase) pisses you off.   But since she didn’t offer any advice so I will…

El Pres Answer

Dear ConfusedAboutMen, Medford

First of all I think you got bigger problems than strip clubs if Atlantic City is where you two were planning on going on a romantic vacation too.   AC is dump.  What chick wants to go there? Now as far as the rest of it goes this is going to be a complicated answer.  Yes you have every right to be mad that your boyfriend is going to strip clubs in AC.   Because guys don’t just go to strip clubs to get ice cream cones smashed in our faces.  We are going to try to fuck the strippers, get blowjobs and basically do as much as we can do without getting arrested  and we won’t consider it cheating.    Makes no sense but that’s how it goes.   It doesn’t mean we don’t love you or want to marry a stripper.  We just need to have foreign pussy every once in awhile to keep our sanity.  So unless you want to grow old by yourself you just have to accept that this is what guys do.  Kind of like how I just have to accept the First Lady likes to vacuum when I’m watching TV.   It infuriates me but I just got to live with it.  It’s the trade off you make in a relationship.  And as far as your comparison of whether your boyfriend would be mad if you went to a male strip club that’s apples and oranges.  There are two huge differences.  First male strippers want to fuck all the chicks.    Chick strippers just want your money and not your dick.   Second males shoot loads.  Way more graphic.

Hands down the funniest moment of the Barstool Blackout tour so far. You can take all the chicks making out and all the ass shaking and all the dance floor orgies and shove it. Feitelberg getting lost in a cloud of CO2 and disappearing into depths of the Blackout crowd is the best thing to come from this tour. Just froggin around that stage, ribbit ribbit, having a grand old time. Next thing you know kid is in the belly of the beast getting his face stomped on.

Get up Frog! We don’t have time to catch your ass! We’re trying to Blackout.

PS – I’m pretty sure we use our CO2 cannons in the most dangerous and irresponsible manner possible. Now you see him:

Now you don’t:

Reader Email

Whatup pres,

Me and my cronies were just discussing this after looking at the picture taken of us and you and Barstool Uconn. In the least gay way someone brought up how it was pretty clear your dick was just slinging around in your pants with no care for the world giving the thoughts that you were going commando. Whether that’s true or not, that brought up the idea… Why do people rock that style? Clearly everyone can see your junk doing its thing down there and from personal studies, it’s not even that comfortable. Just a thought. Maybe you could shed some light on it. P.S. Barstool Blackout was arguably the craziest thing to happen to Uconn since Marcus Williams stole laptops.

P.P.S. When’s the foam party?

-JarvDog

I got to be honest. I’ve gotten like 10 of these emails the last couple days. Both from guys and girls. “Everybody being like nice boner pres. Way to have a boner you creep.” Here is the thing. I’m not hard and I am wearing boxer briefs. I think these pants just make me look like I got a permanent erection. Not really sure what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong if a chick is grinding up on my shit I’ll get hard, but not just taking pics with bros in the hallway and shit. So I guess my question is whether this is a thing with Adidas pants? Like is it a known fact that white Adidas pants make it look like you’re always hard? Or is it just when you are hung like horse there is nothing you can do. Either way just like with Larry David I’m not sure it’s the worst thing in the world. Although on second thought I’m not sure I want to be known as the pedophile, rapist, boner guy.

Eric Wilbur on Boston.com – To the hundreds that have demanded my immediate dismissal, the fan who hoped I got clipped by the Green Line, and even the Neanderthal who wished cancer upon me, I issue a mea culpa. Clearly, I never intended Sunday night’s column, written in the immediate aftermath of the Patriots’ loss in Super Bowl XLVI, to garner quite the widespread attention – and negativity – it happened to find over the course of the next 24 hours. Despite what has been theorized out there in various circles, it was not premeditated, nor was it a “joke post.” It wasn’t a sparkling display by any means either. As I’ve tried to convey, perhaps with illustrious failure, the over-the-top tone of the piece was intentional, meant to convey the frustration that Patriots fans had to be feeling after the crushing loss to the Giants… It backfired. Tremendously.

Allow me to translate for you: “At the end of Agony Bowl II I saw an opening to pounce on Tom Brady and carry out a vendetta over some personal beef I have with him in an insane, over-the-top rant that made no sense to anyone but me.  It blew up in face like a cartoon cigar and now here I am scrambling to claim I didn’t mean any of it in order to save what shred of dignity I have left.  Please forget I ever said anything.”

This is just Exhibit 175 in the case I’ve been making that much of the media in this town hasn’t the first goddamned clue about how their target audience is.  To borrow a phrase from Patton, the bilious bastards who wrote that stuff don’t know anything more about real Boston fans than they do about fornicating.  So many media figures in this market are so caught up in personal agendas, hard feelings, friendships and business deals with the people they cover they’ve lost all connection to the fans.  And have no idea what we think or how we feel about anything, particularly the Patriots.  I mean, listen to the contempt in the voice of some of these radio guys when they imitate us.  Callahan does that nasally “If you say anything negative about the Patriots then yerrrr a haaataaaahhhh!“  Tony Mazz does that insulting slow-talking retard voice “Yeeeaah, Mike.  Remembah, theeeah wickid awesooommme…“  That’s how we end up with Shaughnessy on Opening Day of ’08 saying we all think the Sox will go 162-0 and sweep the playoffs.  After making a career of saying we always think they’ll choke in the end.  Or how we get yesterday’s dreck out of Eric Wilbur.  And it’s why there’ll always be a Barstool.  A site for real fans written by real fans.  Because the regular media outlets all thing we’re a mindless rabble of reactionary morons instead of an informed, loyal-but-reasonable fanbase that’s disappointed by a close loss but know we’ve got the best organization and the best quarterback we could ever hope for.  It’s just a goddamned shame so many of the guys who cover the team aren’t nearly as good.  @JerryThornton1

What in the fuck is this?   Some company called Pawngo dropping 900 lbs (literally) of Butterfingers in Copley Square today making fun of Wes Welker?    Do they think that’s funny?     I mean great publicity stunt.  Now everybody in New England hates your ass and hopes you die.   Bravo.   Bravo.    Oh by the way here is Pawngo’s contact info….

Contact Us Directly

Phone: 1 (866) 499-2363
Email: support@pawngo.com
Live Chat: Click Here to chat with us

Contact CEO Todd Hills

You can also reach out to our CEO Todd Hills on his cell phone at (720) 320-7777. He would love to talk to you. Seriously he would!

Typical fraud, front running NY fans.   “SANCHEZZZZZZZZ!” Fucking dummy.    I want to say keep your mouth shut unless you got a dick in it, but I’m actually glad she did this.   Just shows what idiots NY’ers are.   I half expect to see KFC wearing an Elite shirt yelling and screaming before this day is over.

thanks to @FloppingOut

Foxnews – A North Texas golfer had a close call when he was impaled with the sharp end of a broken putter during a fight on a golf course, authorities said. Spokesman Terry Grisham said a group of four men were playing in front of a group of three. When the smaller group asked if they could play through, a fight started between at least two of the men. “All seven men were at least witnesses, if not participants, and during the altercation a golf club was broken and the shaft end of the golf club became impaled into the groin area of one of the men,” Grisham said.”This guy is bleeding profusely. He just passed out. You need to get somebody out here now,” one of the golfers said during a 911 call. “We’re holding his artery with our hands, man. This guy’s gonna go under.”The injured man is now reportedly out of the hospital and recovering. No one from his family wanted to comment.

Before I can really pass judgment on this story I need to know which group the guy whose dick got impaled on his putter was part of. The threesome or foursome? If it was the threesome than he has nobody to blame but himself. Because I’m a firm believer you should never ask to play through. Never. It’s always up to the group in front of you to offer first. I know everybody doesn’t abide by this code, but that’s the way it should be. Unless it’s chicks in which case you don’t even have to ask. You just go right through them. But otherwise it just comes off as a power move. Like hey bro you’re killing me with your slow, shitty play. Let me cuckhold you and play through. Personally it wouldn’t offend me because I know I suck,, but I can see how people would take offense to that and ram a putter up your dick.