I guess this is the “sophomoric” humor hotshot news companies talk about when they mention Barstool? If that’s the case, then so be it. Because a 60 yard snow cock is funny and if thinking that’s funny is wrong, I don’t want to be right. BU, you got snowdicked bro! You got snowdicked hard!
China – Mainland scientists are increasingly confident of developing the world’s first invisibility cloak, using technology to hide objects from view and make them “disappear”. The central government has funded at least 40 research teams over the past three years to develop the idea, which until now has largely been the stuff of science fiction and fantasy novels like the Harry Potter series… The main approaches are developing materials that guide light away from an object, creating electromagnetic fields to bend light away from what one is trying to hide and copying nature to make hi-tech camouflage materials. A team led by Professor Chen Hongsheng at Zhejiang University released a video last month demonstrating a device that made fish invisible. The same technology also apparently made a cat “disappear”. The device was made of a hexagonal array of glass-like panels, which obscure the object from view by bending light around it. Other mainland teams have made similar breakthroughs.
Damn you, China! See what I’m always saying about how these guys are playing for keeps while we’re dicking around over here? We’re playing checkers and these guys are playing… Chinese checkers. We’ve got our scientists wasting their time on Mars rovers and green energy and XBox Ones, and their best and brightest are doing nothing less than making the best invention of all time a reality.
And make no mistake, one of these would be the greatest thing you could ever own. I’ve always believed that of all the superpowers you could have, invisibility would be the best by far. I mean, the practical applications of such a thing are endless. One of the few things I didn’t like about the Harry Potter series is that Harry was always using his cloak to get into the Restricted Section of the library or spy on Snape when he could’ve been watching Hermoine masturbate or shoplift the hell out of the stores in Hogsmeade. I’m telling your right now when the Chinese put these things on the market, I’m getting one and I’ll be in the Patriots meeting room, hearing Belichick’s private conversations and at Gronk’s house watching him have 3-ways with pairs of 9s faster than you can say “Mischief managed.” And I don’t care what the things cost. I’ll trade both my kids to the Chinese to go make Nikes in a sweatshop, plus throw in their college funds to boot. Now, someone better get cracking on making a working wand and a Marauder’s Map. I need them and I need yesterday. @JerryThornton1
I’ve gotten a bunch of emails about this video. This Mylestone rapper dude just making Blackout parties look like a Sunday afternoon tea party. What’s the over under on how long this video stays on the Internet for? My guess is that it’s down before 3pm. Like if I know school administrators like I think I do they are treating this like a 5alarm fire burning down the entire PC campus right now. Like I’m talking a life and death situation to get him to remove it. God forbid people actually get a glimpse at what a college party looks like on every campus in the country every weekend. And yes this is EXACTLY how I pictured Manzo’s college years at PC.
PS – I’m sure Stoolies are gonna rip this kid because Stoolies pretty much rip everybody, but you’re lying if you say you wouldn’t have wanted to be at this party. Lying. Oh and red shorts. Can we smokeshow you? I didn’t want to be to much of a creep talking about the chicks in the video, but I am a smut peddler by trade.
Double PS – I love the little note about how no alcohol was used in filming this. That can’t work right?
Triple PS – This video says its featuring MIMS. Are we talking the “This is why I’m hot” MIMS? Glad to see he’s doing well.
Click to play video
CANON CITY, Colo. – A six year old boy is suspended from school in Canon City for kissing a classmate on the cheek. His mother says it’s a crush and the two children like each other. But the school is calling it something else; sexual harassment. First grader, Hunter Yelton, told us he loves science and phys-ed. Also…that he has a crush on a girl at school, who likes him back.It may sound innocent enough…but at six years old Hunter now has ‘sexual harassment’ on his school record. “It was during class yeah. We were doing reading group and I leaned over and kissed her on the hand. That’s what happened,” said Hunter Yelton. “They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” he said. Report Bonnie Silkman asks Hunter, “Are you trying to be good at school? Hunter replies, “Yes…I have a lot of energy. I mean six year olds. They have a lot of energy.”
I don’t like this kid. There I said it. He just bothers me. Like what type of six year old says this…
“Yes…I have a lot of engery. I mean six year olds. They have a lot of energy”
That sounds scripted. You’re not fooling me kid. Having said that the school can calm down. Bro kissed this chick on her hand. Now maybe it would be a different story if the girl complained but it sounds like she liked it. Wants that D. So what’s the big deal? Classic school administrators over reacting. Like I can understand maybe putting him in time out or something, but putting putting Sexual Harassment on his school record? Bizarro world stuff.
Hey you think this girl wants to get married soon? I think she does. You see the way she went headfirst over that railing with no regard for her own safety? That’s the move of a chick who has been to one too many of her friend’s weddings and can’t control the desperation anymore. She doesn’t want that bouquet. She needs it. Has to have it. Won’t think twice about laying out for any silly superstition she can get. Can’t take another wedding she’s not the bride in. Biological clock going tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. So once more unto the breach she goes. A dirty dress and a sprained neck don’t matter when you got them flowers in your hand.
Previously on Barstool – “Taking Selfies At Funerals Is The Hottest New Trend”
You think Obama is going to miss a hot new trend? Think again. Guy’s platform was basically being the hip dude. It was being the guy with Twitter and Facebook and a Shepard Fairey designed poster plastered all over the country. Well, when your poll numbers are plummeting you’ve got to get back in the good graces of those who elected you. Get back to being cool. If that means snapping off some Selfies at a funeral than so be it. Throw an X-Pro II filter and a “RIP Mandela” caption on that bitch then watch the likes start rolling in.
God bless this guy, but I do have 2 questions. How can any Patriots fan honestly care this much about a regular season game vs. the Browns unless you got the money line? Like don’t get me wrong I was very happy they won, but not call my buddy up and almost pass out happy. I only get that happy with the Patriots once a year and that’s if we just won the Superbowl. Other than that I expect it every time.
But more importantly how did this dude not realize that kick wasn’t good? I’m not sure it could have been any clearer. And he was staring right at the TV the entire time. Strange. Either way I want this guy on my team 100% of the time. Living and dying on December games vs. Cleveland and rocking the all Boston sports stockings right across the fireplace. Strikes me as the type of guy who gave his girlfriend a “Homer” bowling ball for Christmas.