Awesome. Just awesome. From all of Stoolie Nation congrats.
MOST RECENT STORY
Marc Fucarile Just Got Married At Fenway
MOST RECENT STORY
The Wait Is Almost Over...Rangers vs Flyers Kicks Off Tonight
MOST RECENT STORY
Broad Street Vs. Broadway Taking You Into Game 1
MOST RECENT STORY
Annnd Jose Canseco Lives Every Father's Nightmare
by Big Cat
MOST RECENT STORY
Taiwan Has a Sex-Themed Restaurant And It's Pretty Much What You'd Exp...
MOST RECENT STORY
Breaking LA Barstool Press Conference: The Site Is Paused Indefinitly
MOST RECENT STORY
These Rules On How To Deal With Bullies Aren't As Bad As People Are Ma...
MOST RECENT STORY
Smokeshow Madness Final Four Voting Closes At Midnight!
El Paso, TX (KTSM) — Many parents are scratching their heads over a 4th grade homework assignment handed out on Tuesday but not because they can’t understand it Parents of a group of students at Pasodale Elementary School are angry with a teacher for sending their children home with what they call an “inappropriate reading assignment.” One parent says it was supposed to be an assignment done in class but when some of the kids didn’t finish it in time, they took it home, and that’s when their parents said they noticed something wasn’t right. Ursula Silverstein said her 10 year-old daughter’s 4th grade teacher asked the class to read a series of paragraphs, and then answer questions about what each situation meant – an inference assignment.
Hmmm usually partents overreact about this kind of stuff. Can’t really judge it until you try the assignment out for yourself. So let’s take a look…
Paragraph 1: “Tommy!” Mom called out as she walked in the front door. “Tommy,” she continued shouting, “I sure could use some help with these groceries. There was still no reply. Mom walked into the kitchen to put the grocery bags down on the counter when she noticed shattered glass from the picture window all over the living room floor and a baseball not far from there. “I’m going to kill you, Tommy!” Mom yelled to herself as she realized that Tommy’s shoes were gone.
Question 1: What happened to the window? Tommy broke it playing baseball. Not that big a deal. Kids do that kind of thing all the time.
Question 2: Why did Tommy leave? Because his mother was going to murder him in cold blood for causing her a minor and rather low cost inconvenience.
Paragraph 2: Ruby sat on the bed she shared with her husband holding a hairclip. There was something mysterious and powerful about the cheaply manufactured neon clip that she was fondling suspiciously. She didn’t recognize the hairclip. It was too big to be their daughter’s, and Ruby was sure that it wasn’t hers. She hadn’t had friends over in weeks but there was this hairclip, little and green with a few long black hair strands caught in it. Ruby ran her fingers through her own blonde hair. She had just been vacuuming when she noticed this small, bright green object under the bed. Now their life would never be the same. She would wait here until Mike returned home.
Question 1: Why is Ruby so affected by the hairclip? Because it belonged to the woman that her husband, Mike, was fucking. That woman wasn’t Ruby.
Question 2: How has the hairclip affected Ruby’s relationship? It has literally ruined Ruby’s life. Her daughter will grow up the product of a broken home. Ruby will buy lots of cats with half of Mike’s money.
Paragraph 3: Valerie opened up the letter from the military department. She felt the pit of her stomach drop to the bottom of the earth before she even opened it. She knew it was news about John. As she read the first line, she thought of all of the lunches she had packed him and all the nights she tucked him in his bed and warded off the nighttime monsters. The man carrying the flag put his hand on her shoulder. She thought of the day that John signed up for the military. Her tears wet the letter. She stopped reading after the first line.
Question 1: What does the letter say? It says that John died at war.
Question 2: What is Valerie’s relationship to John? Valerie was John’s mother. They don’t really have a relationship anymore, on account of him dying at war.
Yup. Just as I suspected, parents overreacting like crazy. Kiddies can’t handle a little child abuse/marital affair/dead hero on their homework? Time to grow up. Can’t coddle kids forever. They’re in the 4th grade now, time to teach them that the world isn’t all Dunkaroos and recess (so what if that’s exactly what 4th grade is). Just going to have a nation of pussies if we don’t teach kids young that if you act bad then your mom will murder you, eventually the person you love will let you down, and top it all off with reminding them of their mortality. Good life lessons in this assignment if you ask me.
PS – Not to brag but I got a 100 on that inference assignment. Although, admittedly, it did take me a second to decide if Valerie and John were a mother/son or wife/husband relationship. The nightmares finally tipped me off so I’m pretty sure it was his mom. Actually now I’m second guessing myself. If he had PTSD nightmares of war then the wife would ward those off. That’s an unclear question, whole class gets credit so I still get a 100.
DM - Pretty. Beautiful. Perfect. If you want to get an idea of how good Kurt Coleman really is, just ask him. The self-proclaimed ‘most famous teenager in Australia’ has more than 170,000 followers on Facebook and nearly 85,000 on Instagram. He told a national television audience he was Australia’s answer to Paris Hilton. ‘I’m hot and I love myself,’ he told his loyal legion of fans. ‘People are really jealous of me, I can understand why, and I’ll never change for anyone because I love myself.’ He said he takes selfies ’24/7 because I love what I see in the camera’
I wanna hate this kid so bad but I can’t. I love him. I mean if you’re gonna be vain be the best god damn vain guy there is on the internet. This guy nails it. Like even though I pretty much knew what every single one of his captions would say I still laughed everytime.
“You can hate me all you want but you’re still obsessesed with my face”
There is no comeback for that. Play on playa.
Maryland - A science teacher at Archbishop Curley High School accused of engaging in sexual activity with a student was charged Friday with sexual abuse of a minor. Lynette Nicole Trotta, 33, is being held in jail on a $100,000 bail… The 17-year-old student told investigators Thursday that Trotta began showing a personal interest in him in November 2013 at a day care center, according to police. The two began emailing and texting, and at some point the exchanges became sexual… Trotta would pull the student out of class to spend time kissing in her classroom, he told investigators. During one of the meetings, the student performed a sex act on the teacher, according to police, and did so again while she was driving him home from an after-school event. .. The Rev. Joseph Benicewicz, the president of Archbishop Curley, said in a letter to parents that the all-boys school is committed to creating a safe environment for its students… School officials believe the librarian knew about the alleged abuse for a number of weeks before she reported it. She has been suspended for not coming forward immediately
Wait, so the librarian is suspended not for diming Lynette and this kid out, but for not doing it fast enough? What is this, Archbishop Curley or the Baird Academy in “Scent of a Woman”? They’re running a rat ship here. A vessel for seagoing snitches. And if Rev. Benicewicz thinks he’s preparing these minnows for manhood… he better think again. I mean, this is an all boys school. What option does a hetero lad have but to slum with a mutt like Lynette Trotta? If anything, the librarian was doing the kid and Ms. Trotta a solid by keeping it to herself. And probably when she found out the kid was only going down on the teacher instead of the other way around – that he was doing it all wrong – and finally speaks up, this is the thanks she gets. Like I always say, no good deed goes unpunished.
Looks: Loki! Grade: D
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: You’ve got to hand it to Lynette. She’s got zero natural talent but still managed to get classroom makeout sessions and road head from a student. Not to mention she’s got to be the first SST to ever meet her partner in a day care center. What either one of them were doing in a day care center is too creepy to contemplate, but making history is making history. Grade: A
Intangibles: This has got to be the worst sex scandal ever to be associated with the Catholic church. Also, Ms. Trotta puts the “Be nice” in Rev. Benicewicz. Grade: B
Overall: C. Because looks.
[Thanks to @luv4elcaminos] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.
IT HAPPENED! I finally happened! I thought this was like an urban legend. Every little league coach everywhere warning the on deck batter about getting hammered with a foul ball. I’ve never seen it happen though. Never heard of it happening. Was beginning to think it was a myth. That it was physiologically impossible. Wrong. Here is is in the flesh. Well played fellas.
Hi I’d like to cancel my mail please. Yeah, I want out. I’ll pay my bills online and I’m really not going to miss the letters from my grandma since she stopped putting money in them a few years ago. Oh, you’re not going to let me cancel my mail? Fine, then Calvin the attack dog is going to eat the shit out of every parcel you try and sneak into my home.
NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCSC) —A South Carolina man was hit with a federal fine for refilling his drink without paying. The on-site construction worker says he didn’t know refills at the VA Medical Center in downtown Charleston came at a price, and Wednesday, during his lunch hour, he was slapped with federal charges. The ticket was issued by the Federal Police Force at the VA Medical Center in downtown Charleston after Christopher Lewis refilled his soda without paying the $0.89. A hospital spokesperson called it a “theft of government property.”"Every time I look at the ticket, it’s unbelievable to me,” says Lewis, who works construction. “I can’t fathom the fact that I made a $0.89 mistake that cost me $525.”Lewis is now out of a job. According to a hospital spokesperson, signs are posted in the cafeteria informing patrons that refills aren’t free. Lewis says he never noticed the signs and admits he had refilled his drink without paying on other occasions. “As I was filling my cup up, I turned to walk off and a fella grabbed me by the arm and asked me was I going to pay for that, and I told him I wasn’t aware that I had to pay for that.”Lewis says he tried to pay the $0.89 right there, but wasn’t allowed to. He says he wasn’t given the chance to pay the cashier either.”I never had an option to make right what I had done wrong.”He says he was taken to a room, given the $525 ticket for shoplifting and told not to return to the property.
FUCK THAT NOISE. Anybody who pays to refill a drink is a sucker plain and simple. I’d rather spend 50 years in jail than cough up the extra 89 cents just on sheer principle. This is all on the VA Medical Center. If you don’t want people to take free refills then don’t put the drinks out in the open. Put it behind the counter. But all fountain drinks are free refills regardless of whether they are really free refills or not. That’s just a universal law of living. Fast food places, cafeterias etc should only have 1 size cup and it’s one price for as much or as little as you want. If you can’t figure that out then that’s on you. Like who the fuck wants to wait in line to order a refill? It’s preposterous. 1 drink. 1 price. Free refills. That’s the America I live in. Seriously I’ve never been more disgusted with a story in my life. Free Christopher Lewis! Free Christopher Lewis! Free Christopher Lewis!