Like every other decent, God-fearing American football fan, I like Tim Tebow. (And like every other decent, Belichick-fearing New England football fan, I’m glad he’s the quarterback matchup we’re facing this weekend, given the way the pass coverage has been all season.) As it’s been said many times before, Tebow seems like a genuinely nice person and a great teammate and his emergence this year has been probably THE best, most entertaining story in all of sports in years.
I have one tiny, inconsequential concern though. Has it occurred to anyone else that Tim Tebow might be a little too good to be real? That maybe there’s something supernaturally sketchy going on here? I can’t help but think of something Albert Brooks says in “Broadcast News”:
“What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he’s around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I’m semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing… And he’ll get all the great women.”
I don’t pass myself off as a Bible scholar. But the Sunday mornings I’ve spent at St. Mary’s of the Sacred Heart haven’t been all about checking out the hot moms and setting my Fantasy lineup. I’ve learned a thing or two about the Scriptures. And it’s hard not to notice a few eerie similarities between Tebow and a certain biblical Supervillain:
The Antichrist will ride in on a white horse [Revelations 6: 1-2]
The Antichrist will be worshipped by many people [Rev 13:8]
He “does not regard the desire of women.” [Daniel 11:37]
The bible makes 25 unfavorable references to left-handedness. And the Latin word for left-handed is “sinister.”
The Antichrist’s arrival on the world scene will be accompanied by “wonders” (Denver’s opening kick hits the crossbar for a touchback and rolls back 30 yards and stops dead on the 20)…
… “signs” (a halo appears over Mile High)…
…”and miracles” (an 11-second overtime win in the playoffs).
His name will be associated with the number 666, “though not in an obvious way.” [Rev 13:17-18]
Some prophets interpreted a dream by Nebuchandnezzer with the arrival of the Antichrist and the End of the World. The dream involved a statue “with silver arms and chest, a bronze torso and thighs and iron legs.” [Daniel 3:16-18]
The Antichrist will be a king from a land to the north of Israel.
During his rise to power, a 7-year peace pact between warring nations will be negotiated, setting off a wave of euphoria. [Mathew 24:15]
The Antichrist will have compelling charisma and ability to communicate. “A mouth speaking great things.” [Rev 13:5]
His appearance will be one of “a fierce countenance” and “more stout than his fellows.” [Daniel 7:20]
He will appear to survive a fatal injury. [Rev 13:3]
And finally, the true Antichrist “will do as he pleases.” [Daniel 11:36]
It’s a tough call, so you draw your own conclusions. The prospect of having to face this guy, plus all this Old Testament stuff, has me terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought right now. @JerryThornton1
dienavinjohnson says at January 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Blog of the fucking year! There is no doubt in my mind that Tebow is the anti-Christ. I feel completely justified in hating him now.
frank_carey says at January 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Jerry, young man. It doesn’t matter. Aren’t you just perpetuating or feeding the hype? Just like I tell my boys on the ball field, they can talk, and we can beat em. Then spit tobacco juice on their shoes. Builds character.
bledsoebradybill says at January 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm
BEAT DENVER LETS GO PATRIOTS
sportsphan1 says at January 11, 2012 at 5:22 pm
this is the dumbest article in the history of Barstool
bastarde says at January 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Well done Jerry!
Why isn’t the chick with the giant cans in pic#2 a wakeup or smokeshow? On that pronto Portnose!
Numero Two says at January 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm
So obviously, Brady, as Jesus, will strike him down. Awesome.
pedrofartinez says at January 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm
go suck a dick sportsphan1
bigtuna says at January 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Sportsphan, you obviously cannot read; this was easily the most creative, thought out blog in the history of this blog. Go back to Bleacher Report and watch videos, you illiterate fuck.
the timinem show says at January 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Wow. Very well written, Jerry! Bravo! Definitely of the most creative, best blogs I have ever read on here!
legallydrunk says at January 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm
hilarious blog Jerry, A+
jman508 says at January 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Funny stuff. Die in fire at the hands of Vince wilfork, Tebow!
Ozzie4Prez says at January 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm
nice blog… but i thought i remembered reading that 3 years ago:
http://dawgdayafternoon.wordpress.com/2009/08/15/10-signs-that-prove-tim-tebow-is-the-antichrist/
mattsh20 says at January 11, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Jesus Jerald, u research that shit for like a week or what? Pretty good stuff. Bout time there some creativity around here.
above_the_clouds says at January 11, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Uhh… and it’s 2012 now. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END! REPENT WHILE THOU CAN!
120IQ says at January 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Cool story Jerry, very entertaining but if you really wanna go there… anyone who knows a thing or two about religion (except catholics of course) agree that the Roman Catholic Apostolic church as a whole is the Antichrist. There’s more than enough proof of that but besides your obvious lack of religious knowledge, very interesting comparison.
above_the_clouds says at January 11, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Oh – and brilliant article. Absolutely perfect
curbie says at January 11, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Hands down the best blog this site has ever put out
jagrbombs says at January 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm
This is by far the best thing I’ve ever read on the internet.
Well done sir!
Zinga_Zinga says at January 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm
120IQ, Hey there WASPY.
Gotta love those sophomoric elitist….
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Awesome Jerry A . It also shows how that fictitious book can be interpreted into any situation.
whiteguy8 says at January 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm
First blog I ever liked bt jerry. Definitely entertaining
dougfunnie says at January 11, 2012 at 6:05 pm
The best, Jerry! The best!
DUH | The Fat Brat | Viral Videos, Music, Celebrity, Rants says at January 11, 2012 at 6:08 pm
[...] odds this weekend with Tebow going up against Belichick.Check it out over at Barstool Sports Boston:http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/could-tim-tebow-really-just-be-the-antichrist/ No comment yetWhat do you have in mind? Spit it! No, I changed my mindYour email address [...]
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 6:08 pm
what is it with you patriots cheerleaders…. i mean fans. everytime you lose its because its something supernatural unexplainable act of god .even as a giants fan i cant explain tyrees catch but it wasnt a miracle it was fate ask rodney. i feel the only reason you wrote this blog is so when you lose on sunday you can say hes the antichrist its all in the cards, its all in the devils hand. or when you win it will be see see brady really is the savior. funny blog you guys act like u always feelu need to build up your team or defend it. getover yourselfs. your the team of the decade whip de friggin. you should be the team of the century. but we all kno what happened to that one. sixteen and ohhh no. hahahahahahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahaha.. love the white horse nalgy… pretty funny blogs keep pumping those tires jerry… im ready for the hate patsy needleneckers. you cant type fast enough
120IQ says at January 11, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Stop me when I lie Zinga, plus I’m just the messenger…
ccbradshaw says at January 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Great Blog Jerry! A (and if this is not true,and he is as “holy” as he is made out to be,I can’t wait for the scandal). Go Pats!
mangrove792 says at January 11, 2012 at 6:19 pm
bradycan’tbeatnyg…that was one of the saddest things i have ever read i mean pull out the tampon and face reality…ya you won the Super Bowl…yes that catch was a miracle…and yes your quarterback is the half retarded, neglected younger brother of a super star. the giants only made the playoffs because they play in the worst division in football. and when we lose saturday? did you watch the 41-23 regular season game? just because you need to feel like a man for a few minutes and tell a bunch of pats fans about a game that happened four years ago and was the only good moment the giants have had a a decade…your on a boston blog its just sad dude go get attention somewhere else.
darklighter says at January 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm
This was AWESOME Jerry…just phenomenal. I knew the Mayan’s wouldn’t let me down. Thy end is near…fuck work let’s party! And lets win the last Super Bowl boys.
darklighter says at January 11, 2012 at 6:24 pm
120IQ seriously? Catholic hatin? What’re you from 1968 Belfast?
donkey show says at January 11, 2012 at 6:25 pm
the only guy that can write on this site. nailed it as usual jerry
rexisfat says at January 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm
Still can’t get through two sentences of these cornball articles.
BoStoneman says at January 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm
Bradycant… How could this be a preemptive excuse when the Antichrist is suppose to lose in the end?
Dynamite Flynt says at January 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Tebow is the devil cause brady beat the devil to lose
gronkmofucka87 says at January 11, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Tebow is no longer gonna be a virgin after this game because the pats are gonna rape him hardcore on Saturday….I’m ready for the game already so we can finally get rid of the Tim Teblow hype…
peytonsucksballs says at January 12, 2012 at 12:18 am
I actually loled while reading this
richmondtown says at January 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm
This was hilarious and a head scratcher at the same time. Bravo
chayden823 says at January 11, 2012 at 7:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pmmpEZALhM&feature=plcp&context=C3ed74f2UDOEgsToPDskLIfP3itCqjffITY8gdbgap
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 7:43 pm
mangrove. keep telling urself the pats dont play in the worst divison in sports. atleast my retarded quarterback beats your golden boy qb everytime out.have fun with your one and done season ps im from boston
haleyingonmyface says at January 11, 2012 at 7:57 pm
tocuhe jerry.
Frank The Tank says at January 11, 2012 at 8:12 pm
A+ JT, you and Mike Reiss are the only Pats guys I will read
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 8:18 pm
^^Haley, gotta nail the spelling on a 2 word comment bro. And Bradycant, the AFC east and NFC east were .500 against each other and the NFC teams are supossed to be loaded with superstars, fuck yourself.
cko15 says at January 11, 2012 at 8:19 pm
BIGGEST BULLSHIT ARTICLE IVE EVER READ..you could literally take anyone and find similarities with them and the 84738495998 bible passages there are
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 8:20 pm
and can someone please give jerry a compass florida is too the west of israel. you stupid boy
cantgetthestinkout says at January 11, 2012 at 8:30 pm
The Pats beat every other team in the NFC east this year. And for the record, if you really think that the AFC East is a worse division than the AFC West, then you really know nothing about football.
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 8:32 pm
so otswisted since the giants beat the pats and went undeafeated aganist the trash three. using your logic i wonder who was the better of the two teams …keep hating … nice bloated record too. pump those tires like patriots fans do best
partyhost says at January 11, 2012 at 8:36 pm
great blog jerry, one of your bests, and thats saying something
Murphy82 says at January 11, 2012 at 8:38 pm
A+
dewittt says at January 12, 2012 at 1:48 am
Hey 120, quit trying to sound smart. You’re retarded and an iq of 120 is not very high and is achievable by most autistic 3rd graders
solace says at January 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm
one of your bests jerry, on par with with the yearly sex scandal teacher line up
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Bradycant, I have no clue on what you are trying to say in that last comment. Looks like you have 4 different thought rolled up in one incoherent comment.
Buddy Biancalana says at January 12, 2012 at 1:56 am
Bradycant. If they get together in the sb it will be the only way to see who is the better team. You can crown the giants now but u are just a pathetic troll so I’m going to pass on investing in you’re lack of logic.
Bloated record? You make the schedule for the patriots next year, send it to the NFL central office and maybe they will take your recommendation under consideration. The pats don’t choose who they play you mutt.
Buddy Biancalana says at January 12, 2012 at 1:58 am
Oh and awesome blog JT.
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm
The schedule in the NFL is like this. Play home/away vs your division, 4 games vs another division in conference (rotating), 4 games vs division in other conferance (rotating), And two remaining games vs othr teams who finished in same place eg. 1st vs 1st, 2nd vs 2nd. you dont get to pick and choose opponents.
boobsmcgee says at January 12, 2012 at 2:16 am
Bradycantbeatnyg – the giants lost to the redskins twice. That’s all I have to say.
boobsmcgee says at January 12, 2012 at 2:19 am
I lied. I also want to say I’d rather have a “bloated record” than a deflated one.
ClarenceBeaks says at January 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm
I can’t believe there are people as stupid as bradycant and cko15 on the planet.
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm
by bradycantbeatnyg on January 11, 2012 at 8:20 pm
and can someone please give jerry a compass florida is too the west of israel. you stupid boy
—————————–
I guess you’re the only dummy that doesn’t get that joke Jerry made. Gainsville North of Miami, Miami is full of old Jews. You Retard.
fupaking says at January 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm
bradycant needs to go home and get his shine box
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm
patriots havent beaten a winning team all year. suck on that. your lucky you play eight and eight denver
ursisterscunt says at January 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm
i think mangrove got it wrong bradycant its both you and your qb whos half retarted cock sucker fuck you and the giants
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm
And last week was only the second time in 17 games the Giants beat a team with a winning record in a season in which they dropped 4 games to teams with a .500 record or worse.
johnmcclane says at January 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm
awesome blog. actually funny and well thought out. so refreshing after reading pres’ mindless dribble and shameless self promotion all the time
bradycantbeatnyg says at January 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm
had fun firing up you pack of inbreds from foxboro. your all a bunch of fairweather pussys cant wait til you breakout the firebill shirts after saturday. tudalo. mercury morris sends his best
otwisted says at January 11, 2012 at 10:03 pm
^^Enjoy the cold lonely ride home from Lambeau with your tail between your legs.
pig_benis says at January 11, 2012 at 10:12 pm
“had fun firing up you pack of inbreds from foxboro. your all a bunch of fairweather pussys cant wait til you breakout the firebill shirts after saturday. tudalo. mercury morris sends his best”
is this guy real life?
Dr. Venkman says at January 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm
Straight Cash
cubicleboy says at January 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm
this is off topic, but you are a complete A-Hole Dr. Venkman. Back to your scheduled programming.
fupaking says at January 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm
bradycant please do us all a favor and take Tom Coughlin’s wrinkly cock out of your mouth before you post your next comment
ejwinter7 says at January 11, 2012 at 11:20 pm
Absolutely Brilliant Jerry Brilliant!
@bradycantbeatnyg you just got owned like Shawn Thornton and Felgie owned that Vancouver columnist who called Thornton a coward!
dem says at January 12, 2012 at 12:00 am
“all these old testament stuffs…” dude most of the ‘scary’ stuffs you quoted are from revelations. its new testament. there’s failure number 1. failure number 2, why did you infer your own meaning from the bible to fit your own libellous definition of this man? your quote here made me laugh: His name will be associated with the number 666, “though not in an obvious way.” please show me the bible that you read because mine which is undistorted or tampered with says:
” 17.And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
18. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six”- this is the king james version if you need to check it.
IF THE ANTI CHRIST WAS HERE, I DOUBT YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO BE PLAYER HATING. all your opinion are based on the fact that he’s “too good to be real”? i don’t blame your ignorance… jesus christ was perfect and there were those who said he was a devil too and yes, they were player hating too.
pedrofartinez says at January 12, 2012 at 12:24 am
religious people are so fucking weird
roast beef taco says at January 12, 2012 at 1:47 am
I completely agree. This is the end of the world as we know it.
zzdavidpg says at January 12, 2012 at 6:55 am
That was great. Use that as a training piece for your NY and Philly employees.
jthornton says at January 12, 2012 at 7:05 am
dem is the kid who would watch Peter Pan on stage and say “She’s not flying. She’s hanging from wires. Look. You can see the wires.”
sj39 says at January 12, 2012 at 7:41 am
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/7451061/espn-sports-poll-denver-broncos-tim-tebow-us-favorite-active-pro-athlete
j0ggsfan says at January 12, 2012 at 8:28 am
Religion is HILARIOUS.
cantgetthestinkout says at January 12, 2012 at 8:29 am
^What’s your point?
cantgetthestinkout says at January 12, 2012 at 8:30 am
^That was for sj39
scratchmyass says at January 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm
The guy is a clown – just lucky he really sucks
bajk22 says at January 12, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Best blog this dork has ever done.
patsdope87 says at January 12, 2012 at 10:35 am
fuck tim tebows faggot face
reptileink says at January 12, 2012 at 10:58 am
His name will be associated with the number 666, “though not in an obvious way.” [Rev 13:17-18]
F is the 6th letter in the alphabet, and he played for Florida
He is 24 years old. 2+4 = 6
He wears number 15. 1+5 = 6
He also threw for 316 yards last week…..John 3:16
lilshortii20 says at January 12, 2012 at 11:49 am
HONESTLY…………. MOST STUPID ARTICLE I HAVE EVER READ!!!!! really people, you have nothing better to do then take parts out of the bible and put them to pictures of people that actually do something with their life! stop being such HATERS!!!!!!!!!!! leave the man alone, if you dont like him then dont pay no mind to him! and this is all coming from someone who doesnt really watch football, and i can honestly say that your life is very sad if all you do to be happy is talk shit about others! maybe you are the anitichrist!
JohnnyO says at January 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Pretty sure you’re describing Mitt Romney, not Tim Tebow here.
KnightNews.com » ‘Is Tim Tebow the Antichrist?’ Controversial Blog Post Asks says at January 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm
[...] Given Tebow’s devout Christian faith, even raising the question his supporters deem so absurd is sure to stir controversy. What do you think? Share your comments below. And read the full blog post by Barstool Sports here. [...]
reptileink says at January 12, 2012 at 1:00 pm
I think lilshorti lost his/her virginity to Tebow…..
lilshortii20 says at January 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm
oh yes…. just dont tell anyone! LOSER
projectshadow316 says at January 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Oh shi-
ClowninAround says at January 12, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Shun the demon.. and lilshorti20 (nice name.)
Could Tim Tebow really just be the Anti-Christ?... - US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum says at January 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm
[...] [...]
Should We Fear Tebow? | The News Burner says at January 12, 2012 at 3:58 pm
[...] I saw this (posted by a New England sports fan), I didn’t consider that there is another group that [...]
jagrbombs says at January 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm
lilshorti, I feel sorry for you. Not only do you not get to watch football, but you can’t even appreciate a little bit of humor. Perhaps the writer isn’t making fun of Tebow… Maybe instead he’s pointing out how ridiculous people are who think the Bible is meant to be read as the literal truth. Since you know that apparently the Bible might say that Tebow is the antichrist.
whit3hotheat says at January 12, 2012 at 9:19 pm
I don’t understand the 666 reference. Those are pictures of jay cutler not Tim tebow
"I’m So Glad I Ate Six Chalupas" [Open Thread] | Sponsor szuka says at January 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm
[...] Tim Tebow really could be the Antichrist. – Eek. [...]
haleyingonmyface says at January 13, 2012 at 2:39 am
hey otwisted, bolw me..how’s that for a mispelled two word comment?
trob888 says at January 13, 2012 at 11:40 am
Hilarious. Easily the best Tebow story of the year. Linked at my site http://www.thepowerwire.com
penandsword says at January 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm
@JerryThornton1, you are a genius and prophet!
truther says at January 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm
Tim Tebow is obviously not the Antichrist.He does not in any way fit the Bible’s description of the Antichrist.Find out who the antichrist is here:http://truth.co.vu/antiidentity
bostonbro92 says at January 14, 2012 at 11:24 am
This is a great blog Jerry creative as fuck funny article
This has been posted right? says at January 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm
[...] has been posted right? Could Tim Tebow Really Just Be the Antichrist? Barstool Sports: Boston If not, you need to read it, it's pretty damn funny. __________________ Packers Badgers [...]
bigkris says at January 16, 2012 at 5:29 am
I have to say I am quite impressed with this article. I had made a few jokes here and there about this. I live in Denver and see the media hype and how people have acted. You actually cite Bible verses and points in his life. Very well done.
Kiley & Booms On Demand Rundown, 1/17 « CBS Cleveland says at January 17, 2012 at 9:48 am
[...] – Is Tim Tebow the Antichrist? Heaven forbid. Antichrist [...]
The Pros & Cons of a Tim Tebow Endorsement | Knox Sports Blog says at October 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm
[...] his name are peppered with critical comments. One blogger even believes he may just be the anti-christ. Companies should dismiss the other half of the population that might skip over a product with his [...]