If you haven’t already seen the Golf Channel feature on Butch Lumpkin, it’s actually some pretty impressive stuff. I mean here’s a guy with no arms and he’s an avid golfer and tennis-er. But to be honest, I’m pretty sure I don’t want this guy in my foursome, or even on the golf course with me at the same time. Butch here seems like’s he’s pretty good at teeing the ball up and taking a whack, but just how good is he when he shanks one into the woods? I mean he’s got no arms so he’s gotta be a slow player most of the time right? So what if he’s in front of my group, slowing up play? Your waving, whistling, pacing to try and get the groups attention, when your college buddy who you only see when he wants to golf says, “hey, isn’t that the no-arms guy playing in that group.” So now you feel like a dick. Or heaven help it if he gets added to your group. I mean you were all ready to head out to the tee box when you get that annoying, “hold up fellas” from the starter who introduces you to your 4th…oh yeah, and he’s got no arms. Like that’s not gonna completely fuck with your head. Plus I’m kind of a dick so if it starts to get competitive and I’m losing to Butch, so I start doing some real ass hole moves to psychic him out, like rubbing sun tan lotion into my arms…”My biggest problem is keeping my left arm straight on the backswing”…asking if he wants to try my glove…Then again, if I really wanted to avoid this guy I could pull the Carl Spackler and cut his hamstrings…”He’ll quit the game!”