Vs.
Think Progress - Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo joined many Marylanders for Marriage Equality by posting a video endorsement last October. Ten months later, rabidly anti-gay state Del. Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D) has decided to retaliate, writing to Ravens owner Steven Disciotti on Maryland House letterhead that Ayanbadejo should be sanctioned for speaking out:
I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Raven Football player. Many of my constituents and your football supporters are appalled and aghast that a member of the Ravens Football Team would step into this controversial divide and try to sway public opinion one way or the other.
Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment and excitement. I believe Mr. Ayanbadejo should concentrate on football and steer clear of dividing the fan base.
I am requesting that you take the necessary action, as a National Football League Owner, to inhibit such expressions from your employees and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions. I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing.
In response to this letter Deadspin posted an open letter from the Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe in response to Burns.
Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,
I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland’s state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.
2. “Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement.” Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who’s “deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland”? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you’re going to say that political views have “no place in a sport”? I can’t even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for “beautiful oppressionism”).
3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I’m fairly certain you might need it.
Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe
P.S. I’ve also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your “I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing” and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.
So this story went viral yesterday. I didn’t blog it because I was in NY and Feitleberg must have had his head up his ass or something. Anyway there is no point in me adding too much to this story because Chris Kluwe already said everything I’d say. It’s truly mind boggling how a politician could be this fucking stupid. Truly mindboggling. Almost as mindboggling as the fact it was a black democrat saying this and not some Bible Belt Tea Party dude. My only question is why did Chris Kluwe send this letter to Barstool Junior? They don’t deserve this letter. Not only do they have no soul, but everybody knows I’m the #1 friend of the gays in the smut blogging industry. If anybody is going to go to defend the right to take a dick in the ass it should have been me. Cmon on Kluwe. Be better than this.


dinkyinyourstinky says at September 8, 2012 at 5:41 pm
Made front page of Reddit. He was actually answering questions in the thread at one point.
trappedinnyc says at September 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm
over/under 3 months till it comes out this pastor is blowing 10 year olds in some maryland truck stop
28ontheway says at September 8, 2012 at 9:52 pm
^under
ianhbeach says at September 8, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Great work, pres. nothing else needs to be said
4guys1barstool says at September 8, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Truly boggles the mind.
sbritton20 says at September 8, 2012 at 6:29 pm
UNDER!!!!
otwisted says at September 8, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Wonder if Pastor Burns remembers when it was illegal for whites and spooks to get married.
cfoggot says at September 8, 2012 at 6:52 pm
the stool seems pretty split on gays to me. there will probably be a debate about gay shit in 15 comments or so.
slutnuts4 says at September 8, 2012 at 10:55 pm
cfoggot, im guessing gay shit is the same as straight shit. except it can be found on dicks from time to time
daddyrichard says at September 8, 2012 at 6:59 pm
The Pastor is without a doubt a lustful cockmonster and slams kids.
revnathanhortonheat says at September 8, 2012 at 11:05 pm
Kluwe gets huge bonus points for the inclusion of the word fromunda.
onecomment says at September 8, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Chalk another one up to religious people oppressing basic human rights…What is truly mind boggling is the fact that our country is still stuck on legalizing it….
mpin3 says at September 8, 2012 at 7:51 pm
The obvious move here is to have Kluwe replace Neil in Chicago…
anonbrah34 says at September 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm
Stool stance on gay marriage: If you dont support gay marriage you are a complete faggot.
swaggah33 says at September 8, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Oh yeah pres? you would have said exactly that? I’m 90% positive you don’t even know what the words “hedonistic”, “espouse”, and “fromunda” mean you dumb shit
gofukyourself says at September 9, 2012 at 12:40 am
Kluwe can go fuk himself
yaz8 says at September 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Little known fact. Blacks in America are one of the most anti-gay demographics in the country.
TheUserError says at September 9, 2012 at 1:09 am
For the record… I’m cool with gays, more bitches for me. Wait. I’m married. Fuck my life. Queer on though queers.
jbd says at September 9, 2012 at 1:10 am
Did not realize the Vikings’ kicker was a gay bird.
charliefoxtrot says at September 9, 2012 at 1:39 am
The Party of Inclusion (TM)
fisty mcfisterson says at September 9, 2012 at 4:45 am
Gays are alright in my book. They don’t hurt anyone, and ^ was right, more chicks for us. How would this throg like it if someone in government was advocating FOR slavery. Sure that’s how the gaybos feel
peytonsucksballs says at September 9, 2012 at 9:01 am
Gays are A OK in my book. I could do without you cheap paranoid suing everyone Jews though.
NEinFTL says at September 9, 2012 at 9:29 am
That letter by Kluwe was masterful. Don’t sweat it though Pres, I’m sure if he pens a scathing letter exposing an injustice brought upon a fuzzy bunny or koala bear your site is the first one he sends it to.
goddy77 says at September 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Steelers Sunday you cuckwads
jackofspades says at September 9, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Kluwe is such a fag…not that there is anything wrong with that…but it’s the height of fucking backhanded bigotry when (and I’m assuming on Kluwe’s part) straight people think that gays need them to stand up for their rights…gays can fucking take care of themselves…they don’t need their straight saviors to come to the rescue…but this is how the liberal mind works, women, minorities, and homosexuals are not smart/hardworking/whatever enough to take care of themselves…what would these poor groups do without their white liberal masters protecting them? Now cue the down votes!!
Evil One says at September 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Not to take away from your thinly veiled (homo) rant jackofspades, but the reason Kluwe came forward is because the reverands attack was directed at a fellow NFL player………..get it ?
So put your little mind and conspiracy theories on sleep mode and go suck a dick………dumbass
Hakeem Brolajuwon says at September 9, 2012 at 6:56 pm
For writing a blog that is the big brother to another sports blog (deadspin) and allegedly a lot better than another (bleacher report), those other blogs spend a lot more time getting exclusive letters and getting bought for millions of dollars than this poorly run but very hyped “sports” blog
herrm i nation says at September 10, 2012 at 12:25 am
Once those queers get married they’ll start marrying their pets!! What’s next?!?! Jk I live in mass don’t care if they get married just drop the AWB and the faggots AG approved gun list so I can have mags with more then faggy 10 rounds
darklighter says at September 9, 2012 at 11:20 pm
I know I love the irony here in the comments…so if anyone is against gay marriage then they take it up the ass and suck balls? So is that some kind of compliment then? Good job Stoolies.
bruins1981 says at September 10, 2012 at 6:52 am
Yeah jackofspades, bc if straight people just stayed out of their business, they totally wouldn’t be getting discriminated against and gay marriage would totally be alive and well. Brilliant point you fucking dipshit. I’m sure that’s exactly what black people were thinking during the 60s. Faggot.
and David, you’re still on that barstool jr shit? That makes sense when their site has a much stronger following and is actually well-written and funny. And your site generally pirates their stories.
herbie versmells says at September 10, 2012 at 9:17 am
he didn’t send it to barstool because you have neil you fucking turd burglar. how can you possibly think anything really newsworthy would be sent to a site that employs such a weird little mongoose looking penis pump?
zjfj says at September 10, 2012 at 10:43 am
Kluwe basically works for Deadspin. He routinely converses with them about a variety of NFL subjects.