Brady Won the Internet Again Today

Dammit, Tom Brady’s just not playing fair on his Facebook feed!  Just dominating social media every day, and refusing to take his foot off the gas, even on Halloween.  Facebook at Halloween is supposed to be for moms to post pictures of their kids and hot chicks to post selfies of their slutty costumes.  But [...]

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Dammit, Tom Brady’s just not playing fair on his Facebook feed!  Just dominating social media every day, and refusing to take his foot off the gas, even on Halloween.  Facebook at Halloween is supposed to be for moms to post pictures of their kids and hot chicks to post selfies of their slutty costumes.  But how is anyone supposed to compete for attention when he’s throwing out his lion costume from 1991?  By my math, he was 14 on Halloween that year.  Now that’s an age where most boys quit dressing up and take up other traditions like throwing eggs and TP-ing the trees at some nerd’s house.  But this is what separates the truly greats from the likes of me and you.  I shudder to think about how many upperclass girls tore off their Pirate Wench and Naughty Nurse costumes at the sight of this.  And bringing it back in 2014 is just thowing his awesomeness in the world’s social media face.  I mean, he  already had a huge lead but this is just running up the score.

It’s no coincidence TB12 chose this week to post this.  Because you and I look at this picture and see future greatness.  But he knows the Broncos look at it and see this:

verboeckhoven-eugen-joseph-179-a-lion-attacking-a-horse-2003983

@JerryThornton1

By Jerry Thornton posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:43 PM

Dude Apologizing For “Cheating” On Tinder Is The Most Embarrassing Facebook Post I’ve Ever Seen

  Reader Email Does this apology get this guy laid?     First of all, I don’t even count Tinder sexting as cheating. That’s a little memo to all the girls who will never date me. Sexting with someone you’ve never met is just interactive porn. Would you get mad at your boyfriend for watching [...]

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Reader Email
Does this apology get this guy laid?
 

 

First of all, I don’t even count Tinder sexting as cheating. That’s a little memo to all the girls who will never date me. Sexting with someone you’ve never met is just interactive porn. Would you get mad at your boyfriend for watching POV smut? No? Then you can’t get mad at him for sexting randoms. Same thing. There’s no emotion involved, just a couple horny kids with an iPhone sending each other some junk mail. All good as far as I’m concerned.

 

But, if you’re unlucky enough to date a prude who doesn’t understand that and dumps you over it, you can NEVER stoop this low. Legit the most embarrassing I’ve ever seen. I don’t care if it’s Taylor fucking Swift, I’m not doing this to get you back. It never, ever works. Best case scenario is she laughs at your stupid post and tells you to go to hell, worst case scenario is she does take you back then holds the “cheating” over your head and turns you into a lap dog for another 6 months before it ends for real. Either way, your friends will make fun of you for eternity. It’s an absolute lose-lose-lose situation and if you stoop this low to grovel for a girl then you’ve actually got something wrong with your head.

 

 

 

h/t Tmac

By feitelberg posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:03 PM

Guess That Ass

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By feitelberg posted October 31st, 2014 at 12:27 PM

Handicapping the Breeders Cup (Bonus Paul Lo Duca Selections)

  If you’re a horse guy like me these next two days are your favorite days of the year.  Great horses, huge betting pools, degenerate city.  I made a vow after I went last year that I’d never miss the Breeders Cup the rest of my life. Well that lasted 1 year. I fucked up [...]

breederscuplogo

 

If you’re a horse guy like me these next two days are your favorite days of the year.  Great horses, huge betting pools, degenerate city.  I made a vow after I went last year that I’d never miss the Breeders Cup the rest of my life. Well that lasted 1 year. I fucked up royally because I booked our trip to Ohio State the same weekend as the Breeders Cup and had to bail on Santa Anita.  Whatever. I’m still gonna bet my dick off on it and I’ll never miss it again starting next year at Keeneland. Anyway onto the picks for the 2014 Breeders Cup.

Friday

Juvenile Turf

dannyboygrey

The Pick – Danny Boy (morning line 20-1)
Reason – Grey as the Nantucket Mist  (not really but only greyish horse in the race)

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #12 International Star

2nd: #7 War Envoy

Longshot: #15 Faithful Creek

 

Dirt Mile

The Pick – Tapiture (morning line 6-1)
Reason – Throw out the last race with Bayern. Secretariat wasn’t beating Bayern that day. There is no Bayern in this race. I love the outside post.

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: **#9 Tapiture

2nd: #1 Goldencents

Longshot: #2 Carve

 

Juvenile Fillies Turf

The Pick – Sunset Glow (morning line 7-2)
Reason – Grey as the Nantucket Mist (Again listed as a grey in the book but my research says he’s not really grey.  Hate tricky greys but I do like the horse)

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: **#4 Lady Eli

2nd: #14 Qualify

Longshot:#12 Tammy The Torpedo

 

Breeders Cup Distaff

amouri

 

The Pick – L’Amour De Ma Vie (morning line 15-1)
Reason – Grey as the Nantucket Mist

 

Lo Duca Picks

 Top: #10 Untapable

2nd: #11 Close Hatches

Longshot: #4 Belle Gallantey

 

Saturday Races

Breeders Cup Juvenile Fillies

The Pick – Conquest Eclipse (morning line 4-1)
Reason – Didn’t get a great trip when she lost by a nose to Angela Renee. I think she turns the tables here.

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #4 Conquest Eclipse

2nd: #8 Puca

Longshot: #7 Majestic Presence

 

Breeders Cup Turf

The Pick – Rusty Slipper (morning line 20-1)
Reason – I hate picking favorites in these races because all the horses are awesome and capable of winning.  For this race it just doesn’t make sense why a conservative barn would enter this horse unless they thought he had a chance. And more importantly I like betting on the number 11.

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #5 Secret Gesture

2nd: #3 Dank

Longshot: #6 Fiesolana

 

 

DraftKings Fillie and Mare Sprint

stonetastic

The Pick – Stonetastic (morning line 8-1)
Reason – Grey as the Nantucket Mist

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #5 Artemis Agrotera

2nd: #7 Judy the Beauty

Longshot: #6 Leigh Court

 

 

Breeders Cup Turf Sprint

welkermoney

The Pick – Undrafted (morning line 8-1)
Reason – I’m twitter friends with Wes Welker

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: **#6 Bobby’s Kitten

2nd: #14 No Nay Never

Longshot: Ambitious Brew

 

 

 

Juvenile

The Pick – Calculator (Morning Line 15-1)
Reason – Grey as the Nantucket Mist

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #9 Carpe Diem

2nd: #12 DareDevil

Longshot: #11 One Lucky Dane

 

Breeders Cup Turf

The Pick – Main Sequence (morning line 6-1)
The Reason – Been a manchild since he shipped to the US winning his last 3 races in style. No reason for it not to continue

 

Top: **#1 Telescope

2nd: #7 Flintshire

Longshot: #11 Chicquita

 

Breeders Cup Sprint

The Pick – Bakkan (Morning Line 10-1)
The Reason – There is no way Gary Stevens gets shut out. I think this is his winner

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #7 Mico Margarita

2nd: # 5 Private Zone

Longshot: #13 Work All Week

 

Breeders Cup Mile

The Pick – Toms Tribute (morning line 15-1)
The Reason – 6 of 7 with Mike Smith as jockey. Loves Santa Anita.

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: # 4 Mustajeeb

2nd: # 2 Obviously

Longshot: #3 Veda

 

Breeders Cup Classic

The Pick – Bayern (morning line 6-1)
The Reason – If he fires he’s the best period. 6-1 is stealing. I can’t imagine he’ll go off that high. I respect Shared Belief but when Bayern is right he plays catch me if you can and nobody is fast enough to do it.

 

Lo Duca Picks

Top: #6 Shared Belief

2nd: #11 Tonalist

Longshot: #5 V.E. Day

 

By elpresidente posted October 31st, 2014 at 11:47 AM

Worst Parents Ever Tell Their Kids They Have Ebola Just To Watch Them Go NUTS

            When I say “worst parents ever” what I actually mean is “this is exactly the kind of stuff I’d do if I was a parent so they’re the worst parents ever until I accidentally get someone pregnant.” Why wouldn’t you fuck with your kids like this? They ruined your [...]

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I say “worst parents ever” what I actually mean is “this is exactly the kind of stuff I’d do if I was a parent so they’re the worst parents ever until I accidentally get someone pregnant.” Why wouldn’t you fuck with your kids like this? They ruined your life. They ruined your wife’s vagina and your sleep schedule. You can’t hang out with friends anymore because you have to stay at home with these little shits all the time. If you can’t shoot the shit and bust balls with your buddies then you need to get that shit out of your system somehow, so you take aim at your kids. Those gullible, life ruining shitheads. Sorry I’m not sorry, bud. Don’t want to get fucked with and convinced you have Ebola? Either be smart enough to recognize it’s very difficult to contract or don’t exist. Either one works for me.

By feitelberg posted October 31st, 2014 at 11:37 AM

Bs Escape From (Upstate) New York, Nose Face Bails Them Out In OT

The Bruins continued their ‘win-loss-win-loss’ pattern last night in Buffalo by following up Tuesday’s Wild choke-job with a 3-2 OT win over the hapless Sabres. The Bs got regulation and overtime bailouts from Brad Marchand to save the team the embarrassment of losing to the lottery-bound club. The Bs took a bit to get their [...]

The Bruins continued their ‘win-loss-win-loss’ pattern last night in Buffalo by following up Tuesday’s Wild choke-job with a 3-2 OT win over the hapless Sabres. The Bs got regulation and overtime bailouts from Brad Marchand to save the team the embarrassment of losing to the lottery-bound club.

The Bs took a bit to get their legs going and, as they’re wont to do, may have been playing down to their competition a bit in the first. But Buffalo wasn’t laying down and took a 1-0 lead with their first PPG of the year…on their 33rd try. Adam McQuaid’s first of the year tied things up six minutes later. Niklas Svedberg made an unreal save on Marcus Foligno with 5:14 left in the second. But less than two minutes later, Tyler Ennis beat a sliding Svedberg up high to re-establish the Sabres one-goal lead.

With about six minutes left in the game, squandering precious points to the NHL’s second worst team was looking like a reality. But Marchand re-directed a Loui Eriksson shot with 5:30 left in the third, possibly with his hand, to knot things up and then sent everybody home 1:20 into overtime when he beat Jhonas Enroth off a sweet Reilly Smith feed through a confused Buffalo D. Disaster averted.

After the slow start, the Bs outshot the Sabres by a 37-15 margin and pretty much carried the play. They were 0-for-2 on the power play and killed one of their two penalties. It was two points they needed to get on the road against an inferior team and they did just that. And considering that half of their defensemen had a combined 10 NHL games played prior to the game (it was Joe Morrow’s first NHL game), the unit acquitted itself pretty well. The Bs are back at it tomorrow night as the Ottawa Senators make their first visit to town.

A few more buds for your Halloween bowl…

*Even though the save percentage indicates otherwise (.867, two goals on 15 shots), Svedberg had another good night in the pipes and continues to impress (this is where the cynic points out both of his wins were against Buffalo, like that’s his fault). But the bottom line is that he’s sporting a .940 and 1.67 right now and the front office has to be happy with that.

*Loui got his 400th NHL point when he assisted on Marchand’s game-tying goal. Marchand doubled his point total last night by tallying two goals and an assist and now has 3-3–6 after a slow start.

*Milan Lucic and Chris Stewart squared off just 51 seconds into the game in one of those “hey, let’s wake everybody up” scraps. It was the first fight of the year for both. Stewart had the early advantage but Looch caught him with a couple right on the button to even things out and make it a draw. If you’re not familiar with the voyage of the Brothers Stewart, going from a most hardscrabble upbringing all the way to the NHL, here’s a great, lengthy read on the siblings overcoming more adversity than any kid should ever have to in order to live out his dream. Pretty inspiring stuff that will make you view the pair with a newfound respect.


*I’m not a fan of rumors, either starting them or spreading them. And it’s so stupid how they start—people read an obvious opinion and somehow deduce that Peter Chiarelli must be on the horn right now trying to make said (ridiculous) trade happen despite zero evidence of anything afoot. But if Bob McKenzie says the Bruins have interest in Stewart, the Bruins have interest in Stewart. The 27-year-old right wing is in the final year of a two year, $8.3M deal he earned from St. Louis on the strength of a lockout-shortened 18-18–36 in 48 games. Since signing the deal, however, he’s potted just 15 goals in 73 games between St. Louis and Buffalo (understandable, because Buffalo). After scoring 28 goals to go along with 36 helpers with the ’09-’10 Avalanche, he looked like a future star but hasn’t cracked the 20-goal barrier a second time. But he’s still a tough talent and UFA-to-be coveted by many teams looking to load up so he’ll be part of the Sabres fire sale leading up to the trade deadline (when most of his salary will already be paid). He’d certainly add some beef and touch to a Bruins team that could always use an extra dose of each come playoff time. In the meantime, Seth Griffith is looking pretty good.

*Morrow wore Mark Stuart’s old #45 in his NHL debut last night. He got onto the stat sheet when he was whistled for a wicked chintzy holding call at 14:42 of the first. He played 17:51, had four shots, and looked fine in his first time out. He also looks like a young Peter Stormare in this mug-shot.

*Dougie Hamilton’s 24:06 led all Bruins once again.

*If you haven’t checked it out yet, give a listen to “Five Minute Major”, the podcast that Charlie, Chief, and I do every other week. This week we had Jordie from Philly on. Submit questions/feedback via #5MinuteMajor, #FiveMinuteMajor, or email.

@RearAdBsBlog

letitbleedrearad@gmail.com

 

 

By Rear Admiral posted October 31st, 2014 at 10:59 AM

I Think This Old Dude Fighting At McDonald’s Might Actually Be A Superhero

        Old. Man. Strength. For anyone who doesn’t believe it (which at this point is kind of like not believing in gravity) there’s all the proof you need. That old ass dude can barely walk, but when danger strikes he turns into The Hulk. Catching chairs like they were air, snapping brooms [...]

 

 

 

 

Old. Man. Strength. For anyone who doesn’t believe it (which at this point is kind of like not believing in gravity) there’s all the proof you need. That old ass dude can barely walk, but when danger strikes he turns into The Hulk. Catching chairs like they were air, snapping brooms with his finger tips, fighting off crazy chicks. He was a monster. But that’s what living on this here earth for 50+ years does to a person, it turns you into stone.

 

 

PS – Crackhead coming in hot at the end was fantastic. Awww shit man did I miss breakfast?

 

By feitelberg posted October 31st, 2014 at 10:26 AM

Bron Bron DeclaredThe Cavs Opener One of the Greatest Spectacles In the History of Sports

Classic Bron Bron here. One of the biggest spectacles in the history of sports? And then the quick mention how it’s all because of him. Bron Bron being Bron Bron. How does anybody like this guy?   PS – I think on twitter I saw Feitleberg defending Bron Bron. Saying he was misquoted or something. [...]

Classic Bron Bron here. One of the biggest spectacles in the history of sports? And then the quick mention how it’s all because of him. Bron Bron being Bron Bron. How does anybody like this guy?

 

PS – I think on twitter I saw Feitleberg defending Bron Bron. Saying he was misquoted or something. Dunno Feits. This seemed pretty black and white to me.

jfeitsblog

By elpresidente posted October 31st, 2014 at 9:30 AM
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