Ladies and Gentleman: I Proudly Introduce Weirdhaircutseth

    Horse racing just got put on notice.  Weirdhaircutseth is official and he’s here to play.  As long as he don’t have to throw footballs I don’t know how he’ll ever lose.   My only complaint is that he’s not more grey.   But the red hair and red coat kind of make it [...]

weirdhaircutseth

 

 

Horse racing just got put on notice.  Weirdhaircutseth is official and he’s here to play.  As long as he don’t have to throw footballs I don’t know how he’ll ever lose.   My only complaint is that he’s not more grey.   But the red hair and red coat kind of make it a no brainer.    Do it Weirdhaircutset!   Do it!

By elpresidente posted October 22nd, 2014 at 5:07 PM

This SF Tour Guide Goes Off On Chinatown

    Sure this was probably racist, but who gives a fuck. This was way more entertaining than any Duckboat Tour. In fact this should be a thing. Let all the pussies and little girls go on the boring tour guides. Give me the X rated city tours. Just letting it fly with f bombs [...]

 

 

Sure this was probably racist, but who gives a fuck. This was way more entertaining than any Duckboat Tour. In fact this should be a thing. Let all the pussies and little girls go on the boring tour guides. Give me the X rated city tours. Just letting it fly with f bombs and off color jokes. Telling me the real dirt about a city. Put a bar and some stripper poles in there and boom you’re good to go. Can I copyright this idea by just screaming “I COPYRIGHT THIS!” Because I just did so now it’s my intellectual property.

 

PS – Love the golf clap from the crowd after her rant.  I need to sell tshirts to tourists.  They’re happy with anything.

By elpresidente posted October 22nd, 2014 at 4:36 PM

WBO Shortens Women’s Fights Because Of Periods

    SOURCE – The World Boxing Council, one of the four major organisations which sanctions championship boxing bouts, has decided to shorten women’s bouts… because of periods. In a statement published on its website, the Mexico City-based non-profit said its first World Female Convention decided to shorten championship bouts from 12 rounds to just [...]

foxyboxing

 

 

SOURCE – The World Boxing Council, one of the four major organisations which sanctions championship boxing bouts, has decided to shorten women’s bouts… because of periods. In a statement published on its website, the Mexico City-based non-profit said its first World Female Convention decided to shorten championship bouts from 12 rounds to just 10. At the same time the WBC decided individual rounds should last no longer than two minutes, as opposed to the three-minute rounds of men’s competition. Menstruation was given as one of four key reasons why women’s boxing matches should not last as long as men’s, a list based on ‘several facts … reported during the convention which are of total concern.’ ‘A female fighter used to fight 10 x 2 which is 20 minutes, would need tremendous effort to adjust to 12 x 3 which is 36 minutes. ‘Menstrual cycle has tremendous impact on the body of a woman, including 12 hormones which act in the body system, creating radical changes in several areas. The organisation has come under fire online for failing to come up with any facts to back up its claims.

 

 

Ha! Classic chicks bleeding out of their vaginas and being worse at sports than men, amirite fellas? The WBC just telling it like it is: the only reason that women should be exerting themselves for 36 minutes is if they’re making a sandwich platter or giving a vigorous yet tender blowjob. Any reason other than that and their weird lady hormones start acting up and who knows what’ll happen; they’ll probably break down crying in the middle of the ring and slamming pints of Ben & Jerry’s and handfuls of Midol between rounds. God help us if any bears get a whiff of the menstruation. When you boil it down it’s a safety issue for the ladies having their little in-ring catfight and everyone in the crowd.

Now, is any of that based on science? No, but fuck science. Science is for nerds just like vacuuming is for broads. Leave the boxing to the men and the upstanding organizations like the WBC that run it. After all, it’s not like boxing organizations have made the wrong call at every turn for 20 years and strangled the life out of a once great sport to the point that the average guy barely cares about one fight a year. With a track record like that, I don’t need facts to know they’re making the right call.

PS: Thanks for the material WBC, but let’s go back to pretending periods don’t exist now, k?

By ericpops posted October 22nd, 2014 at 3:49 PM

This Dude Living In Portland Maine Is The Realest Hippy Ever

    SOUTH PORTLAND — The 1981 school bus has empty yellow sockets where the headlights should be, bald tires and two pieces of duct tape to keep grease from oozing out of a front wheel. But that bus brought Corbin Pratt and a group of friends more than 3,000 miles from Oakland, California, to [...]

 

 

SOUTH PORTLANDThe 1981 school bus has empty yellow sockets where the headlights should be, bald tires and two pieces of duct tape to keep grease from oozing out of a front wheel. But that bus brought Corbin Pratt and a group of friends more than 3,000 miles from Oakland, California, to Portland, and for most of that journey rolled along Interstate 80 without getting pulled over or attracting trouble. Until Monday night, that is, when police were called to Target to have the bus moved. After learning that police planned to tow the bus, the 29-year-old Pratt ran back on board and hid beneath his mattress, leading to a three-hour confrontation with police. He eventually surrendered, was charged with criminal trespassing and ordered to appear in court Dec. 3. At times, police just moved him and his friends along rather than writing a ticket and impounding the bus, he said. “Who wants 12 more homeless people in town that will get drunk and ask people for money?” he said. Pratt’s cross-country trip was made possible through a little-known California law that allows a vehicle owner to get a “one-trip permit” that can be used to move an unregistered vehicle from one place to another. It is sometimes used by new or used car dealers to relocate inventory, but also can be used for moving vehicles into or out of California, according to the California Vehicle Code, section 4003. Pratt grew up in Wichita, Kansas, before moving to Los Angeles. He started roaming in 2005, hitchhiking, jumping trains, living out of his backpack and taking temporary jobs.Dreadlocks held in check by a bandanna, Pratt isn’t bashful about his countercultural existence: a nomadic lifestyle, drug use and legal infractions. He and his friends set out from California headed east to Portland on July 1. It just was the farthest away I could get from California,” he said, adding that the medical marijuana scene there had become too cutthroat.

 

I absolutely love this guy. At least from a distance. Like I wouldn’t want him within 2 miles of me, but at least as far as hippies go he’s the real deal. None of this fake hippy alternative shit you see so much of nowadays. None of this Occupy Wallstreet crap. Not going out of his way to generate publicity or headlines. Not trying to change the world. He has no side agenda. Dude just wanted to get away from California because the medical marijuana scene became too cutthroat. Dude just wants to live in his bus and get high. Can’t hate on that. Keep doing you bro just stay away from me.

PS – Love his line at the end that the bus will probably last another million miles if he takes care of it. Who am I to doubt it?

By elpresidente posted October 22nd, 2014 at 3:18 PM

I Think I Hate Young Kim Kardashian More Than I Hate Current Kim Kardashian

    What a cunt. Yeah of course you were the most popular. That’s what happens when you put out like a slut in middle school.   I’m surprised she didn’t start deep throating that microphone like it was RayJ’s dick.    

 

 

What a cunt. Yeah of course you were the most popular. That’s what happens when you put out like a slut in middle school.   I’m surprised she didn’t start deep throating that microphone like it was RayJ’s dick.

 

 

By elpresidente posted October 22nd, 2014 at 2:45 PM

ESPN Trots Out The Troll Blog Of The Century: Tom Brady To The Texans?

      F minus job by ESPN here. Leave the trolling to us, you guys try your darndest to focus on actual sports stuff. Tom Brady, quarterback of the first place team in the AFC East, to the Texans, an under .500 team, for their first round pick and aging wide receiver? How does [...]

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F minus job by ESPN here. Leave the trolling to us, you guys try your darndest to focus on actual sports stuff. Tom Brady, quarterback of the first place team in the AFC East, to the Texans, an under .500 team, for their first round pick and aging wide receiver? How does that make any sense? The Patriots could use a receiver, but you don’t give up the guy who would throw him the ball to get one. That’s taking one step forward and two steps back. The Texans need a quarterback, but you don’t trade the guy who would be catching his passes in order to get him. And does anyone really think that the Texans are a Tom Brady away from being Super Bowl contenders? Even with TB12, that team doesn’t catch the Colts in the AFC South. So, no, ESPN. Tom Brady is not going to the Texans. He’s staying in New England and winning the Super Bowl after the Pats trade for Vincent Jackson, read a book.

 

Editors Note – Even though this article was clearly garbage I loved this line. “The biggest factor in this trade is the Patriots’ institutional arrogance”  People always bring this crap up whenever the Patriots make a move. We traded Logan Mankins because of institutional arrogance.  Because Belichick is arrogant.  I don’t even know what that means?  I think it means trying to win? Like did the Pats trade Mankins because of arrogance or because he was getting old and he sucks in Tampa Bay and wasn’t worth the money anymore and moves like that is exactly why we have been one of the top 3 teams in the NFL every single year for the past 15 years. If that’s institutional arrogance sign me up.

By feitelberg posted October 22nd, 2014 at 2:10 PM

Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Texas – Pasadena Independent School District police launched an investigation after what is believed to be a nude photo of a teacher started showing up on the phones of students at Pasadena High School…After the photo was circulated, Pasadena ISD police began investigating a possible relationship between Zehnder and a student…  Zehnder, 24, was arrested [...]

Ashley ZehnderZehnder

'Secret life': Zehnder, pictured with her  boyfriend, allegedly started the relationship with the student in May

TexasPasadena Independent School District police launched an investigation after what is believed to be a nude photo of a teacher started showing up on the phones of students at Pasadena High School…After the photo was circulated, Pasadena ISD police began investigating a possible relationship between Zehnder and a student…  Zehnder, 24, was arrested Monday and charged with improper relationship with a student. Court records state Zehnder and the student had a sexual relationship from May to August of this year and met at her apartment. Court records indicate messages on their phones led to confessions. Police wrote the student admitted to sending the nude photo of Zehnder to his friends and Zehnder “initially denied any relationship, however after being confronted with the phone messages on the Complainant’s phone, she ultimately admitted to having sexual contact.”

Ordinarily, I’d be hammering this kid for killing the goose that laid the golden egg by shooting his mouth off about Ashley and their extracurricular activities. I’ve always felt these SST kids have to weigh their own individual need to brag against the greater good that comes from preserving a sexual deviant teacher’s career for future generations to enjoy.  So you’re just being selfish if you spike the football.  But this week, I’m giving this kid a break.  Because I have to realize not every kid has it going on like I did back in the day.  Since my high school years were spent strutting the hallways of Weymouth South High  to the sound of bra clasps undoing themselves and panties hitting the floor, who am I to judge?  Considering the advantages I was given I ought to give this lad a break and let him know it’s OK.  I understand.  Not everyone had my boyish charm and glossy perfectly Ph-balanced hair.  Good for you, son.  You done well.

The Grades:
Looks:
I have to admit when I saw that first picture from the courtroom, I had high hopes for Ashley.  She’s got the decent face.  Blonde.  She falls under the Jerry Glasses Theorem (all women look better with them than without them).  But that quickly changed after a little digging and coming across these other photos.  Yikes.  That John Elway smile is not helping.  And while that bottom picture doesn’t really tell us what her body is doing, I, like Ron Swanson, have a scientifically accurate 10-point scale for judging human attractiveness.  That goober she’s with is a 6.8, which at best makes her a Grade: C+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
Granted, simple sex back at your teacher’s apartment is a quaint, old fashioned notion of what a good Teacher Sex Scandal should entail. It’s so 1992. But she makes up for it with a cell phone nudie that made it all around the school.  And nothing gets you extra credit in this category like a nice confession signed under pains & penalties of perjury.  So a solid Grade: B+
Intangibles:
Ashley Zehnder is a decent porn star name.  I see her in a lesbian jail cell scenario, working title “Prisoner of Zehnder.”  Grade: A
Overall:
B-.  Not good enough to make the cut in December, I’m afraid.
[Thanks to my buddy Brink.] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.

By Jerry Thornton posted October 22nd, 2014 at 1:34 PM

Reminder – The 2nd Ever Barstool Poker Tournament Is Tonight At 8pm (Must Be In Jersey To Play)

    LETS GO!   Our 2nd ever Barstool Poker Tournament is tonight!   Who’s got the nuts?  I got the nuts!  Honestly the first one was a ton of fun. Stoolies just shit talking everywhere.  It’s a 20 dollar entry fee.   It’s a guaranteed $2500 prize pool.  Doesn’t matter if 1 person enters or 100 people. [...]

 

 

LETS GO!   Our 2nd ever Barstool Poker Tournament is tonight!   Who’s got the nuts?  I got the nuts!  Honestly the first one was a ton of fun. Stoolies just shit talking everywhere.  It’s a 20 dollar entry fee.   It’s a guaranteed $2500 prize pool.  Doesn’t matter if 1 person enters or 100 people.   The more people though the higher the money goes.  Right now I think it’s kind of low entries actually so 50 people or so may be playing for all the cash.    Great odds for the Stoolies.    What better shit do you have to do on a Wednesday Night?  Watch the World Series and play poker.  Yes please.

 

Here’s how to enter our Stoolies only tournament.

 

Click here and Download Party Poker Now

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By elpresidente posted October 22nd, 2014 at 1:03 PM
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