How Sad Is It That The Redskins Are Making “We Practiced With The Patriots!” T-Shirts?

It's good to be King

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(Redskins)Get ready to cheer on the Washington Redskins at training camp and NFL Pre Season Home opener with the Redskins vs. Patriots Matchup Training Camp T-Shirt. This 100% cotton screen print t-shirt features the dates of the games along with the two teams logos. Own a piece of Redskins pride with this stylish matchup t-shirt!

 

 

 

I don’t mean to be the stereotypical Boston fan, but shit like this is why it’s great to be a Boston fan. You didn’t see any “Hey, Tampa was on the practice field with us last year!” in the Patriots pro shop. Because we’ve got bigger shit going down. We’re not happy to be on the practice field with you. And this is why I love all the Pats haters who say they haven’t done shit in 10 years? Well they’ve been the most consistently dominant team in the sport and your boys are legitimately honored to be on the field with them. They need a tshirt to commemorate the time kings like Belichick and Brady traveled down to you and taught Jay Gruden and RG3 a thing or two about life in the NFL. It’s so sad for everybody else, and so awesome for me. We practiced with the New England Patriots, guys! Isn’t that cool! YAYYYYY!!!!

 

 

By feitelberg posted August 1st, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Guess That Ass

   

npelz

 

 

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By elpresidente posted August 1st, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Asian Guy On The Subway With Crossed Leg Swag On A Hundred Trillion Billion

      Shocking crossed leg swag here.   Seriously I had to stare at this photo for 10 minutes like it was a Magic Eye picture before I could even figure out what was happening here.   Only an Asian dude can turn a simple act like crossing your legs into some sort of [...]

asisanss

 

 

 

Shocking crossed leg swag here.   Seriously I had to stare at this photo for 10 minutes like it was a Magic Eye picture before I could even figure out what was happening here.   Only an Asian dude can turn a simple act like crossing your legs into some sort of weird fetish art exhibit.  They are just so awesomely weird in everything they do.  Even when they sit down they redefine the game.  Asians FTW!

By elpresidente posted August 1st, 2014 at 11:46 AM

We Have A Good Old Fashioned Pirated Pirate Porn Controversy At Barstool Sports HQ’s

    So yesterday I got the above letter from Comcast saying that somebody had illegally downloaded some Pirate Porn on our servers. Intern Simon was quick to throw Big Cat under the bus. When I called Big Cat out on it during the Rundown he had no idea what I was talking about. However [...]

 

pirates2

comcastlletter

 

So yesterday I got the above letter from Comcast saying that somebody had illegally downloaded some Pirate Porn on our servers. Intern Simon was quick to throw Big Cat under the bus. When I called Big Cat out on it during the Rundown he had no idea what I was talking about. However he then pointed the finger at Nate for doing a Pirate Porn MFK. Well Nate sent me this email today…

 

Nate’s Email

something fishy going on with this letter thing. we get letters like that to my house all the time b/c my roommate torrents stuff. fairly sure they only send it when something is downloaded from your IP illegally…add in that Simon was very, very quick to throw Dan under the bus and I have a full blown conspiracy on my hands. either way, i took down the mfk. hilarious if that’s what we actually get popped for. i’m not completely sold on that though.

 

Guess what? The more I thought about it Nate is right. Somebody else confirmed it via twitter as well

 

porndownload

 

That letter wasn’t about his MFK. It clearly says somebody ripped or illegally downloaded this porno with our Comcast service. Somebody in my office. Someobdy right under my nose. Somebody who watched all the finger pointing and mud slinging yesterday and sat silently by with a pirate boner. That’s what that letter is about. Once again our office is thrust into a good old fashioned who done it.  Who is illegally downloading porn on our servers and letting Big Cat and Nate take the rap? That’s what I got to find out.

 

Prime Suspects

Handsome Hank (Even Money)

hank

 

Do I need to even explain why he is the prime suspect here? He has zero moral compass. He has a proven track record of doing devious things. Of being deceitful, dishonest, and borderline schizophrenic. And as I replay this incident in my mind from yesterday I can’t help but think he was laughing a little bit too hard when this all went down. Almost like he knew what was happening and was relishing in the moment. He also has the technology to pull off this caper as he’s our “rip” guy. All signs point to yet another underhanded criminal act by the one they call Handsome Hank.

 

Simon (2-1)

simon

 

A huge red flag is how quickly Simon threw Dan under the bus yesterday. The million dollar question is was it too quickly? All I know is I’ve said maybe 20 words to him all summer. For him to pipe up and suddenly get chatty about this Pirate Porn thing is beyond suspicious. I just don’t know if he has the balls to blame Dan when he knew it was him all along and then come defend himself on the rundown. If he did then I’ve never underestimated anybody more than I’ve underestimated him. But again the second I said “pirate” he knew exactly what I was talking about. He also looks like a HUGE porn guy.

 

Milmore (9-1)

milmore

 

Cartoon guys are strange birds in general. And I don’t recall him really chiming in on this pirate controversy yesterday. Sometimes it’s the quiet guys that you have to worry about the most. Also what makes him a legitimate suspect is that besides Hank he is our other “rip” guy. If somebody is going to rip a video off the internet it’s Milmore or Hank. And if it was Milmore all bets are off on him. He replaces Hank as most unpredictable guy in the office. Borderline psycho scary.

 

Feits (20-1)

feits

He’s got to be considered a suspect just based on the fact that when we started talking about this controversy yesterday he seemed insulted that I didn’t know what Pirates Porn was. Paraphrasing here I think he said “Bro it’s like the most famous porn ever made.” So clearly he was aware of it and he’s also a big porn guy by his own admission. The only thing that is keeping me from saying it was him is I think he’d admit it? Maybe I’m giving him too much credit here, but I feel like I broke Feits like a rancher breaks a wild horse. He knows not to lie to my face.

 

Louis (27-1)

louis

 

Just doesn’t strike me as a traditional porn guy. Pirates doesn’t seem like it would be his thing. Strikes me as somebody who would be into really wacky porn.

 

Sales Guy (50-1)

salesguy

 

If it’s Sales Guy it would be like Usual Suspects. The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn’t exist. By all accounts Sales Guy has no practical use or skills to Barstool other than I trust him 100%. I’m actually not in the office today so I made him call me from a private location to help gather clues because he’s the only one I can trust. So if it’s him then everything I know is no longer true. Up is down and black is white. Let’s hope it wasn’t Sales Guy for the sake of the company.

By elpresidente posted August 1st, 2014 at 11:08 AM

The “How To Have Cyber Sex” Guide From The 90′s Is Video Gold

Yessssss

 

Yesssssssss… that’s a lot of s’s!

 

 

First of all, our generation doesn’t need videos like these. Knowing how to have cyber sex for us is like knowing how to breathe, it’s just instinct. By the time I was about 11 I was already bopping into lesbian chat rooms and asking “a/s/l” to all the other 11 year old boy’s who were pretending to be lesbians when their parents were out of the house. And I may not have even known what “a/s/l “meant at the times, but I can assure you I was way smoother than this. “I would like some sex. Would you like to sex with me?” makes it seem so robotic. How bout a little passion? Some fire. If you’re looking to get off in an AOL chat room then you need to be a lot more erotic than that or I’d dump your ass in a heartbeat.

 

 

{PS – Before this chick starts giving cyber sex lessons she may want to watch a “How to masturbate” video. Wrong half is naked honey.

 

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By feitelberg posted August 1st, 2014 at 10:36 AM

GET ME THIS BABY DEER WHO LOVES HAVING HIS BELLY SCRATCHED!

    OMG!    Cutest motherfucking deer I’ve ever seen!   They had to have taken him home right?   Like I’d rather starve to death before I stopped scratching Robby’s belly.  (He looks like a Robert)   Just so freaking cute.  Like if I didn’t know any better I’d say he was a puppy.   There is just no [...]

 

 

OMG!    Cutest motherfucking deer I’ve ever seen!   They had to have taken him home right?   Like I’d rather starve to death before I stopped scratching Robby’s belly.  (He looks like a Robert)   Just so freaking cute.  Like if I didn’t know any better I’d say he was a puppy.   There is just no way you can release him back into the wild.    Robert’s destiny is to live with a human family.   He knows it.  The workers know it.  Everybody knows it.   Seriously can I adopt him?   Not even joking.   He’d be the best Barstool Mascot/pet ever.  We could just rotate taking turns scratching his belly and feeding him baby carrots.   Honestly maybe the cutest animal video I’ve ever seen.

By elpresidente posted August 1st, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Barstool App Update – We Fucked It Up Plain And Simple

  It takes a guy with a gigantic dick to admit when he made a mistake and today I’m that guy. We’ve had lots of complaints about our app this week and rightfully so. Basically we released an update that included a new ad spot. It was intended to be a non intrusive ad that was [...]

erorors

sorry_dog

 

It takes a guy with a gigantic dick to admit when he made a mistake and today I’m that guy. We’ve had lots of complaints about our app this week and rightfully so. Basically we released an update that included a new ad spot. It was intended to be a non intrusive ad that was a no brainer to include. Well if people can’t tell by now we’re not the most technologically advanced organization in the world.  Bottomline is we fucked up the code and it’s effecting roughly 10% of app users.  It’s something we’re aware of and I’m pissed about. Unfortunately we can’t fix it instantly because we need to submit another update to the Apple Store and it takes a week to get approved. We already submitted it days ago and are just waiting for it to go through. That’s why the app isn’t even in the store anymore. We pulled it down because we don’t want new people downloading the version with the fuck up.

Long story short is I’m aware that the app isn’t working correctly for a portion of people. It sucks that it happened and we’re working to fix it. If it makes you feel better I’ve lost sleep over it. So for once people who are complaining about user experience are right. But that’s just because it’s coded wrong. It’s not supposed to be working like it is right now for 10% of the people. We need ads to survive. We need ads to pay our writers. That’s how free websites work. I don’t apologize for that. This was just a fuck up plain and simple and we’re trying to fix it ASAP.

By elpresidente posted August 1st, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Wake Up With Emily Ratjakowski

 

 

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By feitelberg posted August 1st, 2014 at 9:00 AM
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