Does This Look Like The Face Of A Former Pro Wrestler Banned From Every Walmart On Planet Earth Because He Was Too Good At Getting Price-Match Discounts?
QUEEN CREEK, AZ – A Valley man says he has found out the hard way just how to get banned from Walmart for life. Joe Cantrell loves to ad match. He goes through circulars to find the biggest discounts, and then goes to Walmart. According to the company’s website, they match the lowest advertised price on identical products, but when Joe tried doing that last week, the unthinkable happened. What started as a trip to a San Tan Valley Walmart to get ornaments for his family’s Christmas tree, turned into the biggest nightmare of Joe’s life. ”I was handcuffed, humiliated and embarrassed in front of everybody at Walmart,” Joe remembers. And, there’s a chance, Joe just may be the most loyal Walmart shopper you’ve ever met. Joe told us he visits the mega-retailer at least twice a day — once in the morning with his grandmother, and then again in the evening.
“I just love Walmart and that’s why I go,” he laughs. Because to Joe, every little dollar counts. ”Sorry I get a little emotional about this, because I’m disabled,” he says. After eight years in the ring as a professional wrestler and lots of injuries, “I can’t do what I used to do for a living anymore,” he says. So, four months ago, he started ad matching. But last week when a Walmart employee told him it wasn’t allowed, Joe complained to management. ”When I left, he turned around and called the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office and said he felt intimidated and threatened. I was upset, but never once did I say anything to the gentleman,” Joe says of the incident. Joe says when he went back to Walmart four days later, three deputies handcuffed him, gave him a court summons and a notice banning him from any Walmart in the world for life.”I felt shamed. I felt like I was the bad guy. And I know I’m not a bad guy,” he says.
To be honest, at first I was going to make fun of this guy. Was gonna call him out for his embarrassing poorness and penny-pinching. Walmart twice a day and only after in-depth price-matching research? Might have used the line “the Jew is strong in this one,” or something similar.
But as soon as I found out he’s a disabled former wrestler, I completely changed my mind. I seriously have the utmost respect for anyone that makes a career out of murdering themselves in the ring. Shit ain’t fake. Yeah maybe the story lines are, but the toll it takes on the body sure isn’t. You’ve seen The Wrestler. Those dude’s lives are fucking brutal. Just wrecking their bodies with steroids and playing through injuries because it’s all they know how to do. Pulling spandex over their broken knees and backflipping off turnbuckles for a few cheers. Living on painkillers and HGH. Destroying their brains just to earn rent money and make sure the crowd sees a good show.
What I’m saying is fuck you Walmart. Eight years as a professional wrestler earns this dude the right to take full advantage of your discount policy. And if you don’t want people doing that then don’t have the policy, idiots. Either way, definitely don’t arrest a broken down testament to showmanship while he’s trying to save a few bucks on Christmas ornaments. All those employees should be suplexed in a public square.