As The Resident Fashionista I’d Be Remiss If I Didn’t Mention Papi’s Spiked Shoes From Last Night

          I’ve looked at a picture of these shoes roughly 100 times since last night’s pre-game and I’m still not sure what I think about them. They’re an enigma. Sometimes I see them and think they look like a badass medieval weapon, other times I see the bedazzled back of a [...]

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I’ve looked at a picture of these shoes roughly 100 times since last night’s pre-game and I’m still not sure what I think about them. They’re an enigma. Sometimes I see them and think they look like a badass medieval weapon, other times I see the bedazzled back of a 16 year old girl’s Sidekick (Sidekick’s were the most bedazzled cellphone in history, fact). But after much deliberation I think I’m ready to say I like that. Never thought I’d co-sign a pair of shoes that look like Hellraiser’s face but these are heat, just a fact. Everyone needs a statement piece and a pair of shoes that say “If I kick you in the face you will literally die” certainly fulfills that quota.

 

Editors Note – Hey resident Fashionista…they are called Louis Vuitton.   Read a book.  #finerthingsclub

By feitelberg posted October 23rd, 2014 at 1:54 PM

Dikembe Mutambo Trying To Rent A Car Proves Everything Dikembe Mutambo Does Is Funny

This video shouldn’t be funny. I mean if it is any other tall guy in the world it’s not funny. But anytime Dikembe Mutombo opens his mouth it’s gold. The fact he doesn’t have a 24/7 reality show like ED TV is absurd. On the bright side though if he did have his own reality [...]

This video shouldn’t be funny. I mean if it is any other tall guy in the world it’s not funny. But anytime Dikembe Mutombo opens his mouth it’s gold. The fact he doesn’t have a 24/7 reality show like ED TV is absurd. On the bright side though if he did have his own reality show I’d never leave my couch and Barstool would be out of business in 2 weeks.

By elpresidente posted October 23rd, 2014 at 1:06 PM

The Greatest Party In The World Returns to Worcester and Hartford This Weekend

    Yup, thats right. The Barstool Blackout makes its triumphant return to Worcester tomorrow night and Hartford on Saturday. Its been 4 years since the Barstool Blackout first set foot on campus and its still clicking on all cylinders. Most importantly..Worcester and Hartford have never not sold out so if you want tickets this [...]

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Yup, thats right. The Barstool Blackout makes its triumphant return to Worcester tomorrow night and Hartford on Saturday. Its been 4 years since the Barstool Blackout first set foot on campus and its still clicking on all cylinders. Most importantly..Worcester and Hartford have never not sold out so if you want tickets this is your last chance. Believe that.

 

10/24 – Worcester – Palladium (BUY NOW)

10/25 – Hartford – Webster Theater (BUY NOW)

 

(Live look at Worcester and Hartford)

By elpresidente posted October 23rd, 2014 at 12:35 PM

Does This Look Like the Face of A Dude Dressed As A Clown Assaulting Chicks With Dildos At A Haunted House?

  Dailyherald – A woman and her 17-year-old daughter have sued the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, arguing they were assaulted and verbally harassed by two workers dressed as clowns holding sex toys. The lawsuit, filed by Montgomery resident Regina Janito, seeks unspecified damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress, assault and negligence on behalf [...]

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Dailyherald – A woman and her 17-year-old daughter have sued the Massacre Haunted House in Montgomery, arguing they were assaulted and verbally harassed by two workers dressed as clowns holding sex toys. The lawsuit, filed by Montgomery resident Regina Janito, seeks unspecified damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress, assault and negligence on behalf of the haunted house operators. “The conduct of the haunted house and its employees crossed all lines of decency and common sense,” said attorney Michael Huseman. “Their conduct was outrageous and extreme. My client and her daughter were traumatized by the event. We hope this whole thing is resolved quickly.” According to the lawsuit, Janito, her daughter and three other minors drove to the haunted house on Oct. 11. They were met in the parking lot by two men dressed as clowns and holding sex toys who began to harass the group, according to the suit. One employee, Robert Keller, used a sex toy to poke the 17-year-old; the other employee, identified in the suit as John Doe, simulated a sex act with the toy while Keller made repeated lewd and offensive remarks to Janito and the girl. All four left the grounds without buying tickets, the suit states. “The acts committed by Keller and John Doe were beyond the standards of civilized decency and beyond the scope of what society is willing to tolerate,” the lawsuit stated.

Every year we get stories like these. People suing Haunted Houses. It’s the biggest crock of shit going. When you go to a haunted house you sign a social contract that people can do whatever they want to you. Some maniac starts poking you with a dildo pretending that they are going to rape you that’s part of the deal. That’s what they are getting paid to do. You signed up for this shit. You can’t complain after the fact. Hell I’m already on the record as saying I think every Haunted House should be allowed to literally murder 1 person per year. That would just keep everybody on their toes. The threat of actual death would make things a billion times scarier. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t like being scared and people jumping out at me. So you know what I do? I don’t go to haunted houses. Boom problem solved.

By elpresidente posted October 23rd, 2014 at 11:25 AM

Science Basically Says Drinking Coffee Means Alcohol Can’t Damage Your Liver

  SOURCE – There’s now even more good news about drinking coffee, especially if you enjoy a good cocktail every now and then … or more, if we are being really honest. We all know that our liver takes a beating when we drink alcohol. Now, a new study shows that compounds in coffee help [...]

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SOURCE – There’s now even more good news about drinking coffee, especially if you enjoy a good cocktail every now and then … or more, if we are being really honest. We all know that our liver takes a beating when we drink alcohol. Now, a new study shows that compounds in coffee help to reduce damage and inflammation in the liver. The study, published in the journal of Hepatology, surveyed 27,793 people in between 1999-2010 and found that coffee has some interesting benefits — researchers found that the healthier people who drank coffee had healthier livers. The study explains that coffee intake is inversely proportional to liver enzymes, meaning that the more coffee you drink, the less enzymes you have in your liver. For the record, liver enzymes are bad and often associated with liver damage or inflammation — the kind you get when you have a habit of sipping the sauce.

 

Suck it liver damage! Looks like I’ll never have to suppress the thought of that future little nuisance in the back of my mind while nursing a hangover ever again. We’re talking about a pretty simple formula: abuse your body with a bunch of alcohol + drink coffee = health. I love it. All the weekend bases are covered: drink irresponsibly at night, followed by chugging coffee and Gatorade all morning (with some shitting, masturbation and naps sprinkled in). It’s a well-respected and long-established Saturday/Sunday routine, and now we’ve got scientific evidence that it’s also the cornerstone of any healthy lifestyle.

I can’t wait to not lie to my doctor next time he asks how many drinks I have per week since I can just follow it up with “but I drink a lot of coffee.” That’ll wipe that smug, disapproving look off his face pretty damn quick. Hey, hope that degree was worth it, doc, because all I did was skim an article on a random Thursday morning and I just doctored your dick off. Now take a knee and rub my nuts so I can get outta here. I’ve gotta run to Honey Dew to grab a cup of my liver meds. @EricBarstool

By ericpops posted October 23rd, 2014 at 10:46 AM

In All My Years I’ve Never Seen A Parking Garage Gate Flip A Car… Until Now

      I’ll bet that if this driver could do this again he’d do the same exact thing. I would too. When your behind the wheel, no matter what the problem the solution is always more speed. Stuck in the mud, can’t make it up a hill because of ice, have a gate blocking [...]

 

 

 

I’ll bet that if this driver could do this again he’d do the same exact thing. I would too. When your behind the wheel, no matter what the problem the solution is always more speed. Stuck in the mud, can’t make it up a hill because of ice, have a gate blocking your way? No worries, just goose it. That’s primal instinct and it’s never going to change. I don’t care that it always ends with your tire burying itself halfway into earth, you swerving off an icy mountain road or your car getting picked up and body slammed by a fence… if you’ve got a whole bunch of horses under the hood at your control then your gut is always going to tell you “Got ourselves a little issue here… no biggie, just push that pedal right through the floorboard and we’ll be out of here in a second.”

By feitelberg posted October 23rd, 2014 at 10:10 AM
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