Pain relief ... hammerheads after they were removed

Actual hammerheads after they were removed

The Sun - A DRUNK Romanian thought he’d hit on a good idea to solve his toilet troubles — sticking TWO HAMMERS up his bum. These incredible x-rays show how Viorel Firoiu attempted to nail his severe constipation with the help of his handy tools. The intoxicated 48-year-old turned up at his local hospital complaining of excruciating stomach pain. Worried doctors, in Orlea, southern Romania, carried out scans and were knocked sideways to find he had not one but TWO hammerheads stuck in his rear end. Hospital spokeswoman Dr Cristina Bontescu said: “He was a bit drunk and said he had been eating cherries that had left him badly constipated. He said he had a few drinks to dull the pain and then came up with the idea of poking a hammerhead up his backside in the hope of sorting out the constipation. “But the hammerhead got stuck and then he came up with the idea of using a second hammerhead in order to try and get out the first – but then he lost the second one as well.”

Cherries give you constipation? I never knew that. Live and learn I guess. Anyway what’s that old expression? Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I mean we’ve all been there when you got to take shit, but you can’t. It sucks. So you see a hammer sitting next to you, giving you the eye, the natural inclination is to think ” I’ll just hammer this shit out of my ass.” Listen it can happen to the best of us. But to fall for this trick twice?  Maybe I could understand if this was Fusilli Jerry we’re talking who was begging for a second chance, but It’s two hammer heads. So sorry as much as I want to feel bad for this guy he has nobody to blame but himself.