ESPN - The first, after a 7-yard touchdown catch in the second quarter, was meant to replicate a guard at Buckingham Palace. “The little Nutcracker dude, guarding the house, the palace,” Gronkowski explained in his own unique way. “I like how he just sits there and stays still. It’s pretty cool. I give credit to Chandler [Jones]. He told me to do it.”
Last week I said the following… “I think this may be the next evolution in Gronk spikes. Little dance moves before the actual spike. Between the legs, the chicken dance, dougie, running man, the worm, sprinkler etc and then a monster spike”. Well Gronk was listening. Because this week he gave us the best two spikes maybe in the history of Gronk spikes. So without further ado onto the spikes…
SPIKE #1 – “THAT LITTLE NUTCRACKER DUDE”
Brilliant. No other way to describe it. The “Little Nutcracker Dude” spike. If the NFL takes off in London this will be the turning point. All the Page 6 girls probably dyking out and shit when Gronk did this. Generally I hate giving 10’s because that means nothing can ever beat it. Like if Gronk pulls Bibi Jones out of his pants next week and spikes her I can only give that a 10. But having said that I’m still giving this a perfect score. It was just too perfect. The timing, the situation, the venue etc. All working together to create the perfect spike. And his commitment to the dance is unparalleled. It’s like he became that Little Nutcracker Dude.
Rating – 10
SPIKE #2 – “BITCH ABOUT TO GET FUCKED”
To say I didn’t see this spike coming would be the understatement of the century. I mean I obviously didn’t see the first one coming either but I knew something was coming. Just didn’t know what. This time though I didn’t even think he was going to bother with it because it was such a blowout. I was half paying attention. Plus he kind of slow played it too. Like “ah whatever maybe I’ll just give the ball back to the ref” and then BOOM! Hip thrusting all up in this joint and suddenly I was hard as a rock. Any other day it’s a 10. But coming off the heels of the “That Little Nutcracker Dude” I gave it a 9.2 . More importantly it completes the best day in the history of Gronks and has left me breathlessly waiting to see what’s next.
Rating – 9.2
PS - I feel like I’d be remiss not to at least mention that as crazy and impossible as it seems the Gronk phenomena is still rapidly growing bigger. I mean as huge a sensation as he has already become you kind of figured he’d have to have a slight letdown. Nope. He’s putting up huge numbers again and still making people’s jaws drop with his antics. I remember when I was the only guy on the planet blogging about Gronk. Now every blog in the universe already has his spikes up before we even do. It’s the lead story in multiple countries. It’s truly Gronk’s world and we’re all just living in it.