Does This Look Like The Face Of The Perfect Man According to A New Poll of 2,000 Women?
MSN – According to the poll by Austin Reed, the perfect man earns about $77K a year, drinks beer and drives an Audi. Women also want men to have stylish clothes, a good body and a clean-shaven face. In fact, in the survey of 2,000 women, they list those qualities as a “must.” The hipster beards just aren’t cutting it anymore.
Here’s a full list of qualities the perfect man apparently possesses:
1. 6 feet tall (Maybe my biggest weakness)
2. Toned and athletic (check)
3. Brown eyes (bullshit. Everybody knows Caribbean blue is the best and that’s what I got)
4. Short dark hair (surfer hair trumps short dark hair everyday of the week and twice on Sunday)
5. Smart dress sense (Would I have a Milton’s sponsorship if I didn’t? check)
6. Beer drinker (check)
7. Non-smoker (check)
8. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper (Had to quit wearing vnecks because I have a hunchback neck. Otherwise check)
9. Gets ready in 17 minutes (don’t even get this one)
10. Stylish ( Again Miltons Sponsorship Don’t Lie check)
11. Wants a family (families are for suckers)
12. Earns £48,000 ($77,000) a year (ashtray money bro)
13. Loves shopping (I like shopping for myself kind of)
14. Eats meat (like you read about. Check)
15. Clean shaven (sometimes)
16. Smooth chest (bullshit. Real men have chest hair)
17. Watches soaps (Does Revenge count?)
18. Enjoys watching football (check)
19. Drives an Audi (check)
20. Educated to degree level (check)
21. Earns more than his other half (Why do you think the First Lady can’t go anywhere? Check)
22. Jokes around and has a laugh (Rape jokes like you read about. Check)
23. Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset (check)
24. Says ‘I love you’ only when he means it (or when I want pussy. Check)
25. Admits it when he looks at other women (And proud of it. Check)
26. Has a driver’s license (All day everyday off camera every way. Check)
27. Can swim (Doggie Paddle for days check)
28. Can ride a bike (Can you say bike tricks? Check)
29. Can change a tire (I pay AAA for a reason. Check)
30. Calls mom regularly (Don’t have to. She calls me 10 times a day)
Nuts and bolts. I’m the perfect man. And I love animals. Check mate.
When did you get the Audi prez? Must of missed that day last I knew it was that sweet saab
davey mac’s intimate knowledge of prez is mind bottling
yo pres is that you in the picture? looking mad cheesy?
I want to be pres
We still have the saab. also got an audi. get out of my trash though. Seriously
Donkey you didn’t see the video of the interns getting lunch and breaking down in the old clam?
Dude your trash is the best around prez. A little sticky but good stuff
Bahaha you are so unaware of everything that I’m afraid you’re being serious
“a little sticky but good stuff”, definitely not the first time dave’s uttered those words
not gonna lie, the retorts are funny…..but pretty much bullshit retorts. You are not athletic/in shape, your ashtray money is prob a $1.00 and we all know first lady hits you up side the nose when you peep other broads.
Wow, many a cheeseburger has passed those lips since that picture was taken, huh?
unfortunately “fat kike” didnt make the list so, no, that does not look like the face of the perfect man at all. Also, bad news for davemacinnh because the 2nd half of that poll was womens’ biggest turnoffs and everything on the list pertains to him. take a look…
1. Raised in Lowell, MA
2. Has a 2″ uncircumcised prick
3. Addicted to prescription opiates
4. Only owns 3 pairs of shorts – all of which are camo cargo shorts
5. Has chapped lips 12 months a year
6. NO PROSPECTS!
7. No high school degree
8. Lengthy criminal record
9. Virgin
10. Can’t defend himself in the comment section
Portnoy, I actually got a chuckle out of this. That said, when are you going to come clean on whether or not Renee enjoys ass-play? Seriously.
brougherty’s comments are becoming almost as horrible to read as BlackDude’s.
domley, “mind BOTTLING” ??? Really??
“Ashtray money bro” literally made me laugh out loud. Good shit
1. Lowell has good drugs(see 3)
2. Even fat girls want love
3. See 1
4 2 pair of jorts
5. Stock in Chapstick guy
6. Government money is good
7. Ged baby is as good as gold
8.before I was 18 doesn’t count
9.my cousin counts right?
10.defend myself from who? You? Haha that’s a joke chief
#22 ftw
No more Astrovan Pres?
And chest hair ftw.
4guys1barstool – 1st time at the Stool?
stop stealing your neighbor’s wifi to post these useless responses. I have outed you as the piece of white trash that you are and, despite your futile attempts at damage control, you will never be able to shake this persona. no one wants to read the ramblings of a bankrupt pill addict. Go watch your VHS copy of Good Will Hunting and try to forget how badly you’ve embarrassed yourself online today.
Dude good will hunting was awesome! Love it. It’s a feel good movie
Ps the less you know about me my finances and my life the better. You are getting pretty uptight for someone who is supposedly better than me
You can make 100k but if your hung like pres your wife will fuck the pool boy.
“Ash tray money bro” is a classic.
Anyone having issues logging in on an iphone? Shit ain’t been working.
Me.
Me.
Me also.
Wow…I am really close on this. Like really close.
Loves Bill Murray. Check-mate.
iPhone check
excellent post. i love the way you disregard the actual wants.
wtf are smart jeans? mine are capable of holding things like my wallet but never seen em actually do anything smart.
beards never have nor ever will be for hipsters.
31. plays sports ( at a slower pace due to presence of constantly expanding beer gut. check)
You sir, are a jackass.
18. Enjoys watching football – that means soccer…this was a UK poll done by the British version of MSN. I knew you were a soccer fan deep down inside. You shit on it so much you love it. Just like second grade when you’re mean to the girl you actually like. It’s basic science. Who you got for Euro 2012 this summer?
davemac – do not use the word “finances” when referring to a cargo pocket that contains a pack of butts, an EBT card, and change for a ten. speaking of which, you better put those butts back before your moms new boyfriend notices theyre missing and knocks out your last few teeth.
The more you post the more you look like an ass. Keep embarrasing yourself guy
And to be honest I am actually laughing at everything you write. It’s kind of funny I guess. Am I supposed to be offended? Are you actually that angry? Or are you just dumb. I guess I just don’t get it.
Keep proving me right…
10. Can’t defend himself in the comment section
An uncircumcised kike?!
@brougherty & davemacinnh, being an unbiased observer, I think dave took brough’s unfunny list and made it funny. Winner Dave.
must be Snap Dragon’s first time at the stool if he doesn’t pick up on 4guys1barstool’s blatant sarcasm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpUyb37CFT4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Pokey – the kike is circumcised, the mick from lowell (davemac) is not because he was born in a garage in southie.
Otwisted – as an uneducated observer, your opinions carry no weight. I’m sure you just gave davemac more praise then he has ever received from his own father, which is thoughtful, but you should send those messages privately since your sentiments are not shared by anyone else here.
Brougherty you are dumb and know nothing about Jews and circumcision. Even more proof you are a retard. I love it though. I was born in a garage in southie but I’m from Lowell. That makes sense. And I still can’t tell if you are trying to offend me. It comes off more as laughable than anything else. Are you trying to make up for something. Was it something I said before? Why you so mad dude?
dave, i didnt realize your experience sucking dick for percoset pills made you an expert on circumcision. I’m not trying to offend you at all… i’m just providing FACTS that support my assertions that you’re a poor piece of dogshit with down syndrome and nothing to live for. It’s not a personal attack at all.
brougherty= hardo
I remember when I discovered the bold font in middle school too.
Brougherty is the Ryan Hollins of the comment section. Someone that tries so hard but usually comes up empty.
(like you read about)
Heaps of douchebaggery going on here. Nice work, chaps.
I’m sure glad I stayed in school and got my high school degree. What did you major in, brougherty?
Just goes to show how shallow and superficial these women’s magazines, and the double standard in this country. If Maxim made a list like this, and nitpicked every detail about women, the bull dykes femi-nazis would be all over it.
Most of the bitches who make up this list can’t can even jog a mile without stopping for doughnuts and ice cream.
You must have went to a vocational school you blue collar swine. Real high schools don’t have majors.
pres, you wish you were as skinny now as you were in that pic
But you do earn a degree, right? Stupid cunt.
Those goggles have never been safer in their life. It would take getting hit square in the face by a freight train to knock them off that nose.
Brougherty – your name doesn’t happen to be Peter Manzo by any chance?
brougherty, you are getting smoked right now. Throw in the towel
A- blog. Not perfect, though. Hunch back neck? WTF?
stop talking shit about the Mill City unless you wanna get FUCKED UP.
any chick who says brown eyes is lying.
Brougherty I understand you hating dave but why you hating on perks so much. Dude likes to to chill on the couch and watch football beaned up. Stop hating
Check out this Brougherty guy. Fucking Internet tough guy that seems to actually think he isn’t making himself look like a complete tool. Like you read about.
Check out this Brougherty guy. Fucking Internet tough guy that seems to actually think he isn’t making himself look like a complete tool. Like you read about.
this guy is a straight up FAG sorry
haha i laughed at this. Cut down on the midnight bagel binges and you’ll be all set
Holy shit this Broughty guy is posting under a bunch of blogs here about Dave Macinnh or whatever your name is. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have some gay Internet tough guy on your dick. Saddest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
#18 means soccer dumbdick
What does “the perfect man” do, when the AAA guy turns out to be a woman to change that tire..how fucking humiliating
Pres – can we get a “Ashtray Money, Bro” t shirt? needs to be a profile of your face (preferably the hunchback neck pic). I’d buy it.
Pres don’t worry this sounds like the list for 18 year old girls, not “women”. Particularly the whole shaved chest thing. Girls like guys with zero body hair, once they hit like 24-25, they get real primal about chest hair, they friggin get wet just touching it
hahaha this is a mint blog, i bet jenny dell is reading this and seeing 77k ashtray money and getting wetter than standing in a down pour! shit….fuckin suave.
This had me dying laughing at my desk. Fuck off secretary.
A+ Blog