(Do not sleep on Froze Toes)

Yahoo – The dog days of summer are not far away. The unmistakable music of the ice cream truck takes us back to one of our favorite pastimes as children during those hot July days–chasing after the ice cream man to get our favorite cool-down treat. Some kids may not be able to experience this time-honored tradition, because a group of parents in a neighborhood in Brooklyn wants to ban the ice cream man from their park. The controversy spread on the popular blog “Park Slope Parents” when moms and dads complained about having to fight with their kids over ice cream every summer. One mother wrote, “I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living.” Another parent added that her reason for not wanting her kids to consume the frozen treats had to do with healthy lifestyle choices, saying, “One in three kids is going to be obese or diabetic by high school.”

Ban the ice cream man? What type of nazi shit is that? You can’t ban the ice cream man. Shit is as American as Apple Pie. Every fucking day in the summer it was the same thing. Taking motherfuckers deep in Wiffle Ball, and 38 screwballs. Occasionally I’ll get that pink foot thing just to get wild. But it was screwballs day in and day out. If you’re going to take away the ice cream man you might as well just move to Zimbabwe or some shit like that where they don’t even have air.

Here is the Definitive Ice Cream Truck Power Rankings

1. Screwball

2. Snowcone

3. Chocolate Éclair

4. Froze Toes

5. Bomb Pop

6. Chipwhich (Would be hight but it’s a 3 dollar item. Had to be rolling deep to afford it)

7. Strawberry Shortcake

8. Drumstick (Feitleberg like Drumsticks because they are soft like him)