dice

 

In the normal course of things, I wouldn’t be writing a blog about something as trivial as uniform numbers.  But yesterday Dan Shaughnessy, the dean of Boston columnists and the guy the rest of the country regards as the Official Voice of the Boston Fan, wrote an entire column about Jacoby Ellsbury and some other Sox players changing their numbers.  And if it’s good enough for the CHB it’s good enough for us all.

For the moment, let’s put aside the question of whether a grown man should ever wear a player’s uniform jersey.  Instead I’ll ask if anyone who ever buys one… for a gift, for himself, for the pink hatter or little kid in his life… is a complete sap.  A cheap replica jersey runs anywhere from $30 – $80.  An authentic shirt, about $160.  The chances of the player in question not being traded, leaving as a free agent or simply starting to suck his way out of the majors is what?  1 in 5 maybe?  Now add the fact that even if the guy does have a long career here, the team thinks nothing of changing his number?  I mean, it would be fair to say that probably 10% of all Red Sox jerseys sold in the last three years are Ellsbury No. 46 shirts.  So what happens to those people?  Is John Henry going to recall their jerseys?  Is Larry Lucchino going to tell you to bring them into your nearest MLB apparel dealership to have a “2″ put on?  Or are you all just SOL, screw you and if you really love your kid you’ll spend another 160 bucks on an updated one?   And what’s to say they won’t switch every number on the roster just to keep the merchandise revenue flowing?  How are fans supposed to caveat that particular emptor?

Well not me.  I got out of the uniform buying business after buying my kid the one guy that would never leave, never fail us and never be traded.  Nomar.  And I personally own 3 jerseys: Ted Williams (a gift), Tedy Bruschi (a gift) and a vintage Darryl Stingley (which makes grown men weep when they see it).  Because there’s zero chance of any of those guys leaving town, disgracing the uniform or arbitrarily switching numbers.  Anybody who buys any current player’s uni is just being played for a sap.