Anyone Who Buys a Player’s Uniform Jersey is a Sucker

dice

 

In the normal course of things, I wouldn’t be writing a blog about something as trivial as uniform numbers.  But yesterday Dan Shaughnessy, the dean of Boston columnists and the guy the rest of the country regards as the Official Voice of the Boston Fan, wrote an entire column about Jacoby Ellsbury and some other Sox players changing their numbers.  And if it’s good enough for the CHB it’s good enough for us all.

For the moment, let’s put aside the question of whether a grown man should ever wear a player’s uniform jersey.  Instead I’ll ask if anyone who ever buys one… for a gift, for himself, for the pink hatter or little kid in his life… is a complete sap.  A cheap replica jersey runs anywhere from $30 – $80.  An authentic shirt, about $160.  The chances of the player in question not being traded, leaving as a free agent or simply starting to suck his way out of the majors is what?  1 in 5 maybe?  Now add the fact that even if the guy does have a long career here, the team thinks nothing of changing his number?  I mean, it would be fair to say that probably 10% of all Red Sox jerseys sold in the last three years are Ellsbury No. 46 shirts.  So what happens to those people?  Is John Henry going to recall their jerseys?  Is Larry Lucchino going to tell you to bring them into your nearest MLB apparel dealership to have a “2″ put on?  Or are you all just SOL, screw you and if you really love your kid you’ll spend another 160 bucks on an updated one?   And what’s to say they won’t switch every number on the roster just to keep the merchandise revenue flowing?  How are fans supposed to caveat that particular emptor?

Well not me.  I got out of the uniform buying business after buying my kid the one guy that would never leave, never fail us and never be traded.  Nomar.  And I personally own 3 jerseys: Ted Williams (a gift), Tedy Bruschi (a gift) and a vintage Darryl Stingley (which makes grown men weep when they see it).  Because there’s zero chance of any of those guys leaving town, disgracing the uniform or arbitrarily switching numbers.  Anybody who buys any current player’s uni is just being played for a sap.

33 People have left comments on this post



» muchachi617 said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:08 }

I think you’re wrong, cause down the line those jerseys become so novelty in the future… just look at this site. It’s not like anyone cares if your jersey is up to date or not

http://www.straightcashhomey.net – you might enjoy this.

» Don Jeans said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:04 }

add my Andy Katzenmoyer jersey to that list, JT

» Freckles McGee said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:28 }

grown men should not wear jerseys, ever. strictly for little kids.

» dana bibles midget penis said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:59 }

I still have a Celtics Parish shirt circa 1987 that chicks really dig when I bust it out. Actually, mostly dudes give it compliments.

But, seeing grown men at Pats and Sox games with player jersey’s on is a bit silly. F Shaunessy.

» Teabags said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:24 }

I think Jerry just inadvertently told everyone not to buy the following shirts:

- Ball Don’t Lie
- Wel-Ker
- Faulk U
- Dont’ Worry, Be Manny
- You Got Rondo’d
- Looch Crew
- YMCA Scalabrine
- Straight Cash Homey
- Need for Sheed

» ClarenceWhorley said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:27 }

Who spends full price?

Jersey101.com is just one of many sites to get your jerseys.

Pick up a authentic jersey for under $50 bucks.

I got my Manny throwback (which I will wear once he retires) for $20 bucks after he got traded.

» therealrico said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:22 }

You just gotta get a jersey that is A a legend of the team that played most or all his career for the team, a throwback. Or B a jersey of a player who has been with the team for a while, or you see staying with the team for awhile. Paul Pierce, Tom Brady, Bruschi. And shut up about this grpwn men don’t wear jersey’s what the hell is wrong with that?

» Wicked Mr Pickett said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:02 }

Ah dude, not for nothing, but clothes are supposed to have a 2-3 year life span. I know you’ve been wearing the same boat shoes for 25 years now, but most American consumers assume they’ll wear something for 2-3 years and then get rid of it.

With that said I agree with freckles mcgee, no one over 17 should be wearing jerseys.

» CptKballs said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:58 }

Ellsbury changed his number to show how much money he generates a franchise. When he goes to free agency one of the things Boras will bring up is how many shirts he sells and how popular he is with the female fans.

I think it’s a brilliant move.

» Freckles McGee said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 09:03:56 }

rico,

it looks ridiculous. my buddy wears them all the time and guess what? he never gets laid, never. coincidence? i doubt it.

» bodhi said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:40 }

I have two rules regarding jerseys:
1 Jerseys are only to be work at actual sporting events, parties around such events, and the comfort of your own home
2 I only wear jerseys of players older than me. Eventually I will be too old to wear jerseys and that will seem to make sense

» Lazer Lazaro said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:53 }

Any Man that wears another mans name on his back has some serious issues. You might as well be saying hey Monix why don’t you come over to my house and bang my wife while I watch.

» NYCYankeeHater said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:12 }

BTW, LeBron is changing his jersey to #6

» Mark Price said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:48 }

i don’t wear jersey’s, i’m 30 plus, give me a fresh pair of jeans and a button – up. – jay z.

» levman_90 said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:33 }

Nothing wrong with buying a current player jersey. Eventually it’ll gain some vintage value, or if not it’s just a hilarious shirt to break out every now and then. For example, a Carl Everett T I have from when I was in middle school is always money for some laughs.

» Great White Hunter said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:51 }

rockford peaches away jersey.

thanks.

» therealrico said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:17 }

Well Freckles I am not saying on a friday night go out and wear your jersey to The Place, but if a game is one why not rock a jersey. I only rock my US National Team Jersey during games.

» memphissoxfan said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:50 }

Jerseys are definitely for kids and grown (usually fat) women who I see in the supermarket loading up their cart with cheese dip. I have a Walker #8 in vintage condition if anyone interested. (proof of point)

» ClarenceWhorley said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:44 }

I rock my Pats jersey every Sunday to the sports bar I go to in Tampa (I live there). Almost everyone in the bar is rocking their team colors. It is great, people talk shit to each other (in a friendly, non-fighting way).

Not saying I would ever wear a jersey out on a date or to a bar on Friday night, but they do have their place.

Red or Blue Brady, Blue Welker all authentic is what I rock now. Got to get someone on defense for 2010.

» BlackDude said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:01 }

Mark Price said: { Mar 2, 2010 – 10:03:48 }
i don’t wear jersey’s, i’m 30 plus, give me a fresh pair of jeans and a button – up. – jay z.

100% agreed

» Perks-A-Beast said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:01 }

mark price and black dude you sound like idiots quoting jay-z. As for wearing a jersey if your wearing it besides at the bar or at home or the stadium on gameday yes there is a problem. Wearing it while watching the game is fine. I garuntee I can pull just as much if not more game at the bar on gameday wearing a jersey then the idiot who has his polo button up tucked in.

» 5MinuteMajor said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 10:03:48 }

Nothing says “Looooooser” much like – “I rock my Pats jersey every Sunday to the sports bar …”

An adult, wearing someone else’s jersey, hero worship and that’s “Rockin’ it”… geez…. bet you get laid due to ‘rockin” the jersey.

General rule of thumb, if you are over 13 and you aren’t getting paid to wear it… you are a total loser

» JokerzWyldd said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 11:03:23 }

I think it’s hysterical wearing the jersey of a long forgotten player. I still wear my Todd Walker jersey from 2003. Pure comic relief when at Fenway.

» Nino24 said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 11:03:21 }

I just think the guy at the mall wearing the jersey with the solid 5.2 of a girlfriend is just waving the white flag all over the place.

I’m wearing my Moss jersey and I quit life.

» BlackDude said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 11:03:44 }

» Perks-A-Beast said: { Mar 2, 2010 – 10:03:01 }

i love when i see 40 year old men, rocking a tie with a jersey and its all tucked in, that is fucking classic

» thisfuckingsigninsucks said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 11:03:20 }

Denny Blaze didn’t get the memo about the jerseys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWTlDrxG_Uc

» bobby the brain heenan said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 12:03:09 }

i think the bigger story here is…jerry said he had a kid….which means a female lets jerry put his peener in her and ejaculate…

» theteeboxusa said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 12:03:46 }

I have a thowback blank Red Sox Jersy I only wear to games with my wife because she got it for me, but I would not dare wear it with my friends.

I think the worst is when you see a 20+ dude with a game jersy custom with a that assholes name on it.

That is a no no too daffy.

» Pete Campbells Anger Bang said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 12:03:03 }

I still wear my red Bellhorn t-shirt to every sporting event.

» makaveli3b said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 01:03:50 }

i think its naive to say jerseys are just for little kids. im 22 and a lot of my friends wear jerseys, not because we have a man crush on that player, but because we have pride in boston. we wear the jersey to rep the city. when i go to, say new york, i love rockin my boston gear. not only to show the team i root for but to let everyone know where im from. the players name is really irrelevant unless hes a beast or a legend (i.e. i have a throwback russell boston away jersey)

» FU2 said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 02:03:30 }

Since Ted Williams wore only a number 9, played his entire major league career with the Sox, flew fighter aircraft in 2 wars, instructed others in that art and now sits at the right hand of that big guy upstairs, he gets a deferment from me. Almost every other major leaguer would drop the Sox for half a ham sandwich (and 3.25 million).

Maybe el Presidente should do a tshirt where you can pencil in the name and number of the day.

» LakeTahoe said: { Mar 2, 2010 - 05:03:23 }

Never wear another dude’s name on your jersey. Unless you are a high school cheerleader of course.

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